MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR

I've had one of the busiest christmas ever. and it was good. Thank God for my sister's boldness to rededicate her life to Jesus, coming back to him again. It was the best thing and the best christmas gift i could ever asked for :)

christmas luncheon with the yiweiclan.
CCC christmas reflection production.
christmas dinner at relatives'.

That was my day. but of course, the moment i woke up. i didnt forget to wish the BIRTHDAY BOY A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY =) He's the best :D

I've been reading "God came near" by max lucado. it's awesome. so many of us needed to have a divine surgery to have our eyelids cut open to see Jesus. we passed by so many things that reflect His glory and majesty. Yet, we failed to see His hands upon it. i shall copy this paragraph that i read today. it's so beautifully true.

"The world was different this week. It was temporarily transformed. The magical dust of christmas glittered on the cheeks of humanity ever so briefly, reminding us of what is worth having and what we were intended to be. WE forgot our compulsion with winning, wooing and warring. We put away our ladders and ledgers, we hung up our stop watches and weapons. We stepped out off our race tracks and roller coasters and looked outward toward the star of Bethlehem.

It's the season to be jolly because, more than any other time, we think of him. More than in any other season, his name is on our lips. All of a sudden, he's everywhere.

Emmanuel. God with is. He is with us. God came near.

... If he can do so much wit hsuch timid prayers lamely offered in December, how much more would and could he do if we thought of him everyday?"


perhaps, you've heard that Jesus is the reason for the season.
what does it mean?
what is Christmas to you?
Personally, i think Christmas is just the mark of something amazing - when God from His majestic throne came down in human form, out of love. it's the birth of a King. The King of kings. and it doesnt end here.
He heals.
He delivers.
He redeems.
He cares.

and it doesnt stop just on Christmas day. everyday should be Jesus-day. seriously, who can have too much love?

BOLD

i read this in my devotions today.

If we intend to succeed at being ourselves, we must reach a point where we can be led by the Holy Spirit. Being led by the Spirit does not mean that we dont make mistakes. The Holy Spirit doesnt make mistakes, but we do. Following the Spirit's leading is a process which can only be learned by doing. WE start by stepping out into things we believed God is putting on our hearts, and we learn by wisdom and experience how to hear more clearly and definitely.

Boldness is required to be led by the Spirit because,
1. Only boldness step out.
2. Only boldness can survive making mistakes.
When insecure people make mistakes, they often will never try again. Bold people make many mistakes, but their attitude is "I'm going to keep trying until i learn to do this right".

Those who suffer from condemnation usually dont believe they can hear from God. Even if they think they may have heard from God and do a step out, a minor mistake is a major setback to them.

Be bold. Be determined that you are going to be all God wants you to be. Dont hide behind fears nad insecurities any longer. If you have already made blunders in your life and have been living under condemnations because of them, this is the time to PRESS ON! you're reading this for a reason, I encourage you to take this message personally just as though God's talking to you directly through it.

Be determined to press on toward victory.






mmm. give some thoughts to it. BOLDNESS. i want some.

heart of greed

i've been recently hooked into watching this drama series. thanks to ben! haha :P i guess i'm a lil emotional when it comes to watching drama series. hk ones especially!! GRR.. but anywayz.. i totally love this song.

makes my heart melt.


MY LOVE WILL GET YOU HOME

CHRISTINE GLASS

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.


see, if you swap BOY with GIRL and if this song is sung by God to us. AWWW .. even more meaningful.

truly, his love will get us home.

run.

fun.

too dee dum. i want to choo ra youuu.
come. please.

LOST AND FOUND

I CANT FIND MY USB THUMBDRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

hahaha. sorry about tat.
It's just that it can be really annoying loosing stuff. I guess this year has been a year of loosing stuff for me. i HATE it! GRR. but then, most of the time it is my fault for misplacing them, being a messy unorganised person. I can now relate to the woman who lost her 2 coins in the bible. It said that she looked up and down, swept her whole house to look for it- just because they meant something to her. They are, to her, of some value.

My USB is definitely of GREAT value to me!! :P when my lappie got stolen, i was utterly depressed, not because of the fact that someone came in and grab things that belonged to me, but because of the PHOTOS and the memories that it has stored. This week, i just felt God saying, those are by gones. Time to move on and make new ones. I didnt quite get it. but if i do, i'll share more. Anyway, yea. i tot all forms of memories of the past are GONE but God has proven his faithfulness and goodness to me the moment i used my usb to see that i've actually backed up my photos in it!!! WOW! u had no idea how thankful i was. but then, i guess i kinda taken it for granted that i wont loose my usb.. and now. i've misplaced it!! GRRRRRRR. so angry at myself.

isnt it amazing how when we've lost something, something that's close to our heart, we wouldnt stop thinking about it, we'd searched up and down for it and do everything within our might to retrieve it.
I was once lost too. Actually, not once. too many times i was lost.
I've lost my way countless times.
I've lost the sense of belonging when others failed and disappointed me,
I've lost my purpose when i dun know why on earth am i still living.
I've lost loved ones along the way
I've lost my vision.
I was lost.
but God found me and upholded me.

He has paid the price by dying for us on the cross. and then we've gone missing when we decided to take things into our own hands. Yet, He is soooo good. He never gives up looking and searching for us. When I thought he would have given up, especially when you know, after you turn the whole house around, trying to look for a tiny thing, you're covered with dust, you're tired, you come to a point when u'll say "forget it, i'm getting a new one". God could have done that, but instead, He didnt. WHY? because you're priceless to his eyes. You're valued. He has shared some memories with you, whether you know it or not. when you were created, the fact that you're still breathing, he's all part of it! So, He continued searching and waiting. Looking and anticipating that perhaps, under that pile of mess, you're hiding there.
He reaches down and when you realised that you cant camouflage between the pile of mess and junks, He's already grinning and hugging you.
This is my God. He longs for you to return to His arms. Stop camouflaging between the pile of mess that you thought no one could find you. Stop hiding. Come home. Come back to Jesus.



wow. i'm shocked. i was just thinking of asking people if anyone seen my usb could let me know where it has been but OK, God told me and directed this out. i'm so glad to be the first one reading it.

USB! COME BACK TO ME! ;p
and you who dont know Jesus, GO BACK TO HIM! (or you can always talk to me :)

FRUITCAKE

God I pray that you take me out of my comfort zone. I pray that you break my heart to pieces for the poor and needy so that I will be driven beyond belief to look after them like you would. Father, forgive me for being so self centered. Forgive me for being all about me, myself and I. Forgive me for my sometimes stupid, ridiculous, religious opinions about absolute rubbish while people that you love and cherish suffer due to my inaction and selfish, consumer attitude. God forgive me and set me free from mammon and raise me up into a person of compassion and love like you are. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

GOD, I WANT TO BE THE FRUITCAKE!! HELP ME TO PERSEVERE AND NOT GIVING IN OR GIVING UP.

Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always persevere.

~1 Corinthians 13:7~

you obviously dont care.

why do i even wonder or dream?

PURITY

A shattered heart.
unmendable parts.
where does it start?



rejection
loneliness
insecure and fear
in the deepest of corner of my heart



Yet He whispers
and removes the thorns and cuts.
Come this way my dear one.

Unending love.
CLEAN HANDS PURE HEART.
look through the eyes,
of an innocent one.



I'll bring you through
and love you.
I'll never dessert you nor forsake you.
Take my hand, will you?








God's heart longs for our love. Sometimes, we let things run wild and we slipped, not living in accordance to the level that He has destined us to. You give in, you tolerate and it grabs hold of you. You compromised. Ever wonder why? It all starts with a "errrmmm.. i dont know.. but...."
Or, are we too busy to talk to Him, or even spend some quality time with Him?
What has He been talking to you about? Go deeper. Ask for more.

I've never felt the way i feel yesterday. It was so real and i missed His Presence so much. I miss how He wraps His arms around me and tells me that it's ok. I miss the intimacy that we used to have. He is the lover of our souls. At times, he's my friend, at times He's my Saviour King. but yesterday, he's my lover. it was sooo close. I should stop thinking about who's the right guy and when will he come. Cos' I've already found one. I wont let the enemy place thoughts and doubts in me, tempt me or break me. I've been too silly too many times to think that man will add a little "sha-zing". Yes, there's a longing. but try-hards and manipulation are not His ways. Go to Him. All that we need.

i love the song that illustrates it all so well.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full at His wonderful face.
And the things on earth will go strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace."

For some of you, you'll go, here she goes again, Christianity bombarding. NO! I'm just expressing how my heart feels. the innermost part. I'm being really open here and i want you to see it too.
Jesus is real and He longs for your acceptance and attention. Would you give Him a chance, to take you out? or simply, to be your pal?

hearty <3

have you ever get one of those hearty warm feeling after you spend some time with that person? It's not like you always talk on the phone, msn or having kept in touch AALL the time, but you know that deep down you're loved.you can just feel so comfortable and laugh as long and as loud as you want. you can gobble as much as you want and not worry about them giving you the stares. you can trust them to tell you the truth when you need to hear some. it's just this mushy feeling you get when you're with them.

a few people make me feel that way. I guess moments like this can happen all the time if you go and make time to create some. last Sunday was one of them.
I couldnt ask for more.

Thank you for making my day and night such a special one. I meant it when i said i felt like crying everytime we said goodbye.

quickie

Today's Prayer

Dear Lord, If tomorrow never comes on this earth, I pray that I will leave behind a testimony that points to you. Help me to live as if today were my last before entering eternity, for I know not what the day may bring. I pray that I will love others with a godly love, that I will be kind and considerate, that I will share who you are and what you have done, that I will smile at those I see throughout the day, that I will remember and pray for others, that I will appreciate every little thing and have an attitude of gratitude, that I will be honest and responsible in all things. Thank you for blessing me and loving me and filling me with your spirit. Please feed my soul and give me strength this day. May you be glorified and my family be blessed. May I touch lives and sow seeds throughout the day. In the name of my Savior I pray, amen.


I've been out on placement for a week. Come home rather tired at times, but am slowing getting the hang of it and knowing what to expect and help relieve the nurses a bit more. IT HAS BEEN GREAT!! despite morning shifts having to be up and ready to go by 6.15, it's AWESOME! i am enjoying every part of it :) the people - nurses and patients are really nice. i've been learning heaps from them and off them! Loving people doesnt have to be that hard, smiling and talking to people makes a whole lot of difference. I'm trying to do it better everytime!

it is annoying and depressing to me. i am trying to overcome it and i know that i definitely cant do this on my own. this is THE MOST DISASTEROUS thing that has ever happened but i know i can and i have to pull my acts together. it's truly by His Grace. i need it more than ever. DISCIPLINE, that's another key component that i need.
perhaps to you guys, it's nothing much. just another ramblings of hers. yes this truly is. so just let me do my thing!

ARGGGHHHH!!! i'm at the fatest stage of my life!! EVER! it is disgusting! >.< i have never seen the scale sway so much to the right side. it's gross.

i need to get serious and do something.
for those whose heads are saying " yea right mun yee, you're going to be bones and sticks if you go on a diet" can you please just keep them in your head. cos to me, i dont need the discouragement to GET A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! i need to get fit terribly much. to you, i may be normal or balanced. But this was not how i'm supposed to be. í've seen a healthier and fitter side of me and i'm really sick of how i am at my current stage.
yes. this is dealing with self-image. I know that I am created by God and i'm made perfect in His image. He created me well. Definitely! but i need to be disciplined as well. I've got to understand that my body is a temple for Holy Spirit and i need to keep it well :) i think this is also another season to show that God can really do anything!!!!

Ever since God knows when, the scale has just always been sky rocketting. it hardly go the other way, the preferred way. But, i really believe that God can help me with this. Seriously, some of you may even think that this is so silly. She's complaining about her gaining weight and there she goes, being super spritual, bringing God into the topic. YEA! I AM! cos, i've tried to loose the excess that i have with my own plans and strategies. i've tried!! but it's not working! and doing things on your own capability is so limited! it's so hard. i've learnt that i've gotta depend on God in EVERYTHING! and even in loosing weight. yeap. i'm dead serious!

i know this is gotta do with self-image, self-esteem and all that. perhaps, i am at the stage of bad judgement and placing high expectations on myself. I know i'm blessed enough to have certain things. but this is not what i'm after. I know and i've seen myself better. This is about discipline.
This is also about trusting God in every single aspect of my life. even the most ridiculous one - loosing weight.

i know He can help me! and just you weight (wait). when the testimony comes, i'll share with you how i did it and what's the plan that you could go on k/ dont worry, i'm not going to starve myself. NO WAY! we'll see alright/!

little things that makes huge differences in my life

i feel so blessed :) just today itself i've recieved 4 awesome stuff :D

tell me, i am loved or wat!

Beloved Trixie kindly borrowed me her laptop to use. Hence, i'll be able to go online more *Erhem cough cough* i mean do assignments and focus on my studies :)



Ai ling and gang - chenny andrew and jimmy .. we went and had an awesome fun night after church. eating away at nice ipoh food, dessert and even talked to this restaurant owner by random coincidence. it was a Godly thing. it was fun talking and being silly joking around with these guys!! :D

through this week, joanne, william and chunwei texted me to say hi and tell me how much they miss me and thought of me.
awwww...

teck keong generously took me out to this really nice place in south yarra for dinner. it was a staeak house. the food was real yummmmm.. it was that good that it made me scrap the idea about being conscious of wat i eat away. it was great stuff :D

Chenny due to his promotion, pay rise and recieving bonus has generously bought us koko black chocolate!! YUMMM :D


(that;s not the real exact thing of wat he bought us. but will get a pic of the real thing he bought us after i charge my camera :p )

but they are AWESOME stuff and i havent had koko black since i last had it with my sis 2 years ago maybe? tat place brings back memories. yeen, am i right? but surely God has been very kind, cos i needed it :)

and finally, the best surprise of all, KIWI BROUGHT A "SLICE" (is that wat you call it?) of DURIAN FOR ME!!
that's so sweet of him. i am proud to admit that i am a durian fan and durian brings back heaps of memories from home. family and friends.



YUUMMM .. thank you guys for showering gifts. it truly is the thought that counts :D :D :D :D :D thank you for making an impact in my life!

2 years anniversary

It'amazing how time flies. i had this song playing in my head.

"Our last summer"by Abba.
I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the sand, laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain.

it has been 2 years ever since i said yes. And ever since then, my life journey was never the same again. He has never left me nor forsaken me. Through times of joy and trying times with sorrow, His grace and mercy flows. His love never ceases.

some times life throws troubles at me, oh yea, but He's always there to hold my hand. name a few? house was broken into, loss my wallet in a foreign land, undergone loneliness, feeling of no one understand, falling sick, transitions, family disagreements, doubt. fear. rejection. blah bahblah. YET, there's always him. even when i wasnt looking to him, or expecting anything from him, his comfort is always there.

not only that, He laughs with me, makes me smile. brightens up my day and cheers me on! He shows me that there's power with love.

with him, there's always hope.
with him, there's always strength.
with him, there's always peace.
with him, there's always healing.
with him, there's always l.o.v.e.

thank you Jesus for this 2 years. i'm believing for greater things, cos there's defintiely more.

Praise

He is faithful through it all.

Psalm 27:13
I am still confident of this :
I will see the goodness
of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.



Thank you for choosing me. For carrying me and encouraging me. I know You're gonna look after me. I just know it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO!!!!

STOP I SAY

i should be smart enough to know when to stop. stop putting myself in a position that i'll be so vulnerable that enables the enemy to inflict pain. seriously mun yee, GET SMART!

excuse me as i make a few mental notes.
stop being so stupid and living in fairy-airy land.
stop letting the enemy rob you of your joy and innocence

cant you see the cloud of witnesses in heaven cheering for you?
Dont you know that you're all that you can be according to His glorious riches in heaven?
wake up silly girl. stop day dreaming and procrastinating.
when is it enough to make me realise that it aint gonna produce fruits and there would be no ending to it.
stop looking down on urself. look up!

God, help me not to look to the right or to the left but to look ONLY unto you. i have been very silly to even dream and have hope on what i should have let you be in control to start off with. Lord, i lay them at your feet. When men fail and disappoint me, God, i know you never would. Even my efforts seemed to be in vain, God, i dun wanna rely on my own strength anymore. Father, i'm sick n tired of myself. Let You live in me, and kick my flesh some whooping ass. I dont want to strive anymore. Thank you for using incidents to teach me new things :) thank you from waking me up from further disillusions. You open n close doors Lord. You take control. You drive.
Thank you that i am able to make an impact. I wanna do more for you. to be your hands and feet. to show love. let me be focus at only the things of yours. This is my earnest prayer.

this is for those out there who reckons i should blog everyday.

:) though i may not know what's happening in your life, i pray that you'll continue to draw strength from Him.

Rev 7 : 17

For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

What a beautiful verse. Dont cry anymore babe, or dont even think that u're unworthy. He loves you and He wants to wipe away every single tear that stream down you face. i love you too.

Hillsong conference 08 highlight

it made me cried. yes chloe, i was crying :p and i blamed it on my blocked nose. hehe.

Life IS really simple. basically, one word sums it all up - LOVE.
Loving God and loving people. That's it.

Yet, why cant we all do that with all our heart?

sydney and back

The journey to sydney has been amazing!! Really.. couldnt ask for something else. I reckon each time of these experiences would definitely change my life and being around with friends, the people you love, just purely make it so much more enjoyable and memorable!! :D

I realised that God's been sending out rainbows everywhere! We've seen a double rainbow during our trip while we were at some kangaroo national park place and it was very clear which was the lime light!! :) as Rachel said, Rainbows are symbolism of God's promises :D Listen to this! even the kids know! Mel taught me this song and i'm terribly missing her already!!! >.<


The whole trip has been awesome and i've been eating TOO much that my sis said that i've gotta start exercising to loose some weight!! *gulp* shaikz! but i've already .. well attempting to develop a timetable!! my timetable, apart from tues and friday i could kinda get days off.. i have like massive breaks in between for wednesdays and thursday!! GRRR yes. sucks to be me! >.< trying to think of stuff that i could possibly do to fill up my time!! like what i'm doing now!!

Anyhoo, short note to these 2 awesome people!!

Jo - i'm praying for your complete healing as you venture out to taiwan :) i'm believing for miracles for you even as you lay down your life and serve

Jia Mien!!! happy 20th!! i know it's a lil late now, but i;ve wished you and i just wanna SAY A MASSIVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU PRETTY WOMAN!!! :p

(psst. so much for planning to do some homework! hehe :p)

Well, no matter wat, there's always time for this!!
PRAISE REPORT!

I just wanna thank God for this lil bump and situation that i'm going through right now! I've lost my purse on the very last day of my sydney trip. I'm not too sure how did it happened. We were at an outdoor cafe and was just having an awesome time chilling out and stuff. I took my purse out, paid Cat and put it back in and left my bag at the back of my chair, then enjoying myself at the indulgence of chocolates! :) yumm. Prior to us leaving, Mel asked if i could break a change, as i reached for my wallet, it went missing. We looked around and conducted a search team!! haha. bins, floor, people. but no where to be found.

if you were thinking, what's so good about this? i lost my purse. IDs and everything, knowing that a woman's purse contains the world!

well, YES i still have HEAPS of reason to PRAISE GOD!
we were flying that day, so thank God that this incident happened in the afternoon, when we were just relaxing and having heaps of time to calm ourselves (me) down and lodge police report and other procedures.

Also, as this is a domestic flight, i could have just used my drivers liscence as my form of identification to board the plane but somehow, for some unknown reason, i brought my passport along with me and therefore that day, i had no problem at all trying to board my plane due to lack of ID - yes, i store all my cards and IDs in my purse and it's all gone.

not only that, Aaron appeared so timely at the cafe. When he came, i just realised that my purse had gone missing. Being the typical business working man, he was very efficient and got hold of all the banks that i needed and helped me made all the calls. well, he dialed i did all the talking but still. the bank cards and stuff were settled within 15 minutes!

Not only that, Jimmy aka teck keong also owed me heaps of money. He has the cash with him that afternoon and was just showing ( could also be considered as flashing ) the cash towards me from his wallet. Somehow, i didnt ask for them and he didnt bother returning them to me either. it was a huge amount. and THANK GOd that they werent returned. cos it would have gone missing with my wallet!

YEA !! SO PRAISE GOD PRAISE GOD!!

you think that's it?? NO!!!

actually, i've been spending alot during this trip and for this trip. Hence, i was really asking God for a financial breakthrough as my the amount in my bank goes less n less. when such thing happen, i was like a lil shock! seriously, i've never experienced incidents like this. i dun wanna point finger and said that it has been picked, cos i'm not very sure what happened either. it could be my fault not keeping it safe. but i was like i need money not loosing money. (oh yea, thank God i paid mel and cat off that afternoon so i didnt really have much with me then) So, yea.. i told God, whatever it is i'm believing for it to come back to me- my purse and money!
True enough, God has been looking after me well!! Monday, meiching paid me 40bucks from a breaky that i dun mind buying them. and yesterday another friend said that she wanna pay me back for some other stuff as well!! so yea. guess it's all been looked after and i dun really need to worry.

it'll be back! i believe...

w.o.w

i love the way God works
like how He puts you through valley to see His majesty. AWWW .. it's amazing. I had an amazing encounter with Him yesterday that never happened this way before.

I somehow ended up babysitting for my ex-neighbour's kids yesterday though i tot initially tat i was gonna have the night to myself. somehow, i managed to get to their house and do my thing. and even better, i was blessed greatly. they paid me more than i deserved. when i needed a financial providence! But that's not the end of the story.
It began when i reached. i wanted to watch Christian tv cos i knew that there's this massive revival happening at US and it's been powerful!! LIKE AMAZING! and prior to that was Joyce Meyers. So, i was like WOW. this is gonna be super cool mann! (in case you wonder wat the kids were doing, they were sleeping)

ok, i shall be very honest. Seriously, last week or so i felt like UGH.. aint at the top but i'm still perservering. now's like the season to go home and i really got a lil homesick, especially when jo and boss were there, jimuis hanging out and havent seen my family for so long. it aint great when it came together with all the emo music. nah-uh. not a good idea. but u know what, i've learnt that through times like this, it's time to stand strong and put into practice what you've been hearing. it's time to ACT upon the word of God. preach to yourself, let your spirit hear the word. it's awesome!

anyway, the story goes like this. i was watching tv - on Joyce Meyer's msg which really spoke to and i'm trying to apply it but more of that next time. as i was enjoing the show, suddenly, the tv goes



not tat bad but it went kapow blank. and i was then left alone, with nothing to do. but it's during then that God speaks to me the most, when there's no distraction at all. and i found this stuck on their fridge. SO GOOD

PATIENCE

Patience is coping with people's faults and failings
Patience is controlling your attitude when you wanna loose it
Patience is not raising your voice when u're angry
Patience is a soft answer
Patience is giving ppl more time than you should
It's bearing with people while they learn what you already know
Patience will make you 'complete' , the Bible says ' lacking nothing'
Patience is waitinf for people and doing it great
Patience is not huffing, sighing and 'losing it'
Patience is ruling your Spirit

Be patient! with others, yourself and God! The timing of God is perfect

Patience is nourished through trials, strengthened through pressure. Whatever that you're failing now, it increases your capacity. Increased capacity increase your success.

Be patient, it will surely comes to pass.

BORED

I'M SO BORED AT HOME!!

currently i'm so bored at home. i know i can do a quite few things but i'm somehow not doing them. i'm just drowning myself with thoughts and memories. why do i do this to myself? sigh*


i wanna cry but i cant
there's just too many goodbyes and hello again. cant i just pretend that i dont care?

i wanna go home. take me home.
teach me how to stay focus and stay strong.
please hold my hand. i cant do this alone.
how long more

the call

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

i'm done

i'm finally.. FINALLY done with exams :D after 2 weeks of watching chloe partying, it's finally my turn! mwahahhaha :D

weirdly, it didnt feel as though i've got no strings attached. my room is still in a BIG mess that i'm yet to tidy up.
coming online has made me realised that i've got a whole heap of stuff to do and it just stressed me out. why do i do this to myself >.< GRRR. anyway, it's good. i love challenges. only when i get through them! NOW, they ANNOYING me. and i wanna sleep. but sigh...

anyway, i pampered myself with a movie n lunch after my final paper.

i watched sex and the city. i was a lil put off by the title of the movie as well but after reading caleen's strong recommendation, i decided to give it a shot :P

it turned out to be very enjoyable. it made me thought and connected some dots.

the movie talks about friendships and relationship





cant u see the resemblance?





i made me think alot about us. haha. more about that later. but seriously guys! i cant wait for this day! :D




hehehe. do let my imagination run wild a lil :) i seriously look forward to the day when one of u girls (or even myself) walk the aisle! :D :D :D

WOW

it's one of my WOW moments :)

I've just received something that i didnt really even asked for, well i kinda did ask for something but it just came totally unexpected! Thank you God :)



and no i didnt buy a chocolate bar and casually open it to find it. a random stranger gave it to me at the train station. when it was one of the very few times where i go home alone after church :) i usually have train buddies or somehow bumming into other ppl. but today, just felt that God is going to take me home, so i went and taadaaah. a guy blessing me with a free chocolate bar :) how cool :) :) and i felt bad always receiving, so i made him an origami while i was on the train :p since we ended up boarding the same train. i should have the courage to talk to him but i was shy >.< and i really wanted to study at first cos i'm having



flagrace prac exams on tues. knowing anatomy with all the names, it does take alot to fully grasp it.

but guess wat i ended doing during my entire train ride? praying for tat dude :) :)

i guess everything that we do, it was all for love.








anyway, for those non-responsive readers who always check me blog, ladies, i want you to know that you ARE a



and God has his eyes on you.







and a lil update from my cubby. i should be embarrassed to even put this up. sigh but well. studies has made me neglect my room. winter cleaning right after exams mann

my bin is disgusting



my table is uber messy



i duno why i have the time to even take photos n put it up.
but i know one thing for sure tat i'll ALWAYS always want to make time for





for my Greatest One and the Only One.
i love you.

YAY!

next sem i've definitely gotten fridays off!!!! :D :D :D

and the best news is maybe i could get tuesdays off as well!! hehehehe :P YAY!




i know i should be studying instead of planning for next sem but i just cant bring myself to it. please pray for me.

where would i be

i am such a blessed girl!!! :)

had my first exams on monday. honestly, it wasnt the easiest but i had God's presence throughout the whole exam! it was awesome! well, if you'd seen me on sunday night, i had an attack. i wasnt stressed about exams but out of the smallest thing, i broke down and was fully crying all night long. it was literally something small that i gave permission for it to magnify itself. how silly of me. from a distress position to a state where i could smile and feel peaceful, it's really all glory to Him.
but also, really thank God for people He placed around me, my awesome housies, sister, chenny, lynnie and ailing :)

thank you for all the behind the door prayers that i've been recieving. i know i've been getting more n more of them lately especially during this exam period. oh yes. did i mention that i've got a paper tmr? gulp. i just cant concentrate at home!! GRR!

anyway, i've got another story to tell. i was blessed with FREE nandos chips!!! :) i went to study at this nandos near my place. i went there for the first time yesterday n i really liked the environment, the atmosphere, the setting of it. it wasnt like a busy packed and loud place. it was quiet with the classic country brazilian music going at the back. and apart from lunch time, i would basically be the only one in the restaurant! :p haha. how cool was that?! i made friends with the people serving even! well not really frens friends but we talked abit and stuff :p

so i was there since 11. bought a bottle of juice upon arrival and a chocolate mousse after 2 hour. at about 3.30 i was falling asleep and reckon that a bowl of small chips would help in keeping me awake. and guess wat? the waitress there was SO nice that she had already cooked it and was gonna give it to me! for ABSOLUTELY FREE! wow. God hears my thoughts :) and blessed me with them. i am such a happy child now!

on the other note, i'm excited about thursday night :) she's my babeee!










sweetheart, i want to go through this with you. i've been waiting for you to open up but i guess the few streets away is really a little too far now hey? why you never call anymore? what about my texts? my arms are open and i want to hug you, if you ever allow me to. i really love you, if only you knew.

i stumble upon this

seriously. u would have no idea where i got this from. even i am still trying to fully grasp this~!!


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- from a return to love by marianne williamson -

God's been working in someone's life. Christian or not, He is standing right outside the door of his heart. i hope he realise that!!!!!!! and God, please work a miracle :) i know u can and u always do :) :)

listen

i just realise that i am like a kid, with short attention span. i am easily distracted with things. but hey. u cant really blame me for that. there are just too much colours to everything!

there's this


and this



can you hear the sound that they are making?? or how the littlest things are trying to grab your attention? imagine talking to people. or imagine trying to find out more things about them or things that went by your vision scope, or something come stringing by your ears. well.. i duno bout others but for me, i couldnt resist to focusing on one and just allow my eyes to trail the new stimuli. it's like everything around me wanting me to listen to them or look at them when i should be concentrating and focusing on doing my studies.

so how? just gotta tell yourself to focus!

dont you think it sometimes can be the same with God as well? He's been trying in every way to get our attention, but somehow, we've been too distracted. we've missed the still small lil voice as we're bombarded by the LOUD catchy noise. sometimes, it could be OUR own thoughts and self-inflicted stress. yeap. that's right. self-inflicted.
Greatest thing is that He doesnt give up or get turned down easily. HE LONGS to talk to us. He wants to talk to us or listen to us. sometimes all we need is to be still and listen to Him. Even though you dont know if God exist or even if He is real, He wants to talk to listen to you. He could speak through everything and anything! maybe you just need to listen. or maybe you could try talking to Him!

sick

being sick and trying to study is really hard. God, please give me the strength!!

havent been sick for so long and this puny cold is taking me down more than i thought it could! >.< but i'm still believing in the healing power of Jesus! "by His stripes, I AM HEALED!"

also, praise God, He's speaking to me more and giving me heaps of revelations and ideas!! :) how cool!!!
He gave me a dream. in chinese! i dreamt of the chinese character - heart - xin! it has been so long since i wrote a chinese and for one moment as i tried to write it out again, it looked funny that i had to use the computer to reassure that the character is correct!! hmm.

perhaps, God is looking at my heart now. what is it like?
the chinese character 心 does really resemble the our heart anatomically. the arteries and veins are the dots. and the space is where the cavities- atrium and ventricles are.
but my question to you is. what fills it? what fills your heart today?

exams' coming up in 2weeks.
i should really start studying. really.

it's the time of the year again. the holiday season approaching and the time that i usually go home. it's hard not to think about it when it has been a routine for more than 4 years. things are great here but i really wonder how are things back home? there's so much to do.. both here n there. could someone please invent a teleport thingy-magingy?

i've learnt how to do heaps of stuff in my new course. particularly, i enjoyed the nursing ones. still really thinking about paramedics. it's all exciting and stuff.. but imagine having someone's life at your stake. HUGE responsibilities. but then again, greater times to see God performing miracles. COOL :) either ones are cool. i love the healthcare professions! but yet again, there are so much complications to it. especially the ethics and rules. GRR! dun exactly know what they do but sure dont sound too good.

anyway, i'm trying to make this rice pudding thing for urban life and i duno how it taste like? anyone wants to have a try?

went visiting my kids on saturday! their family is so nice. i went shopping for myself the first time in 4 months!!!!! :) retail therapy. and guess waT? i bought a bini / hat/ buret thingo from pumpkin patch. it's a kids department hehehe :P twas good!

i'm tired from work. but i ate HEAPS! i had a max brenners waffle for the first time ever since i worked. yummm.. but surely consequences follow >.<

i should get back to a healthy lifestyle. it includes eating healthily and EXERCISE!! hey. dont laught. at least i am attempting to do this!

THANK GOD!

i passed my test!!

thank u so much to those who prayed for and with me. it was very much appreciated! and once again, shows that God hears our prayers. i was practically just letting Him take control and be in charge and it turned out better than i could imagined! i got above 90+ % !!! imagine that! WOW! i couldnt believe it myself either! His eyes are watching me :D

God is just so great! :)

driving test tmr!

yes. i'm having my third attempt of driving test!!
3 time lucky apparently. hehehe and 3 is a holy number ;p

please pray along with me :D
i really want to and believing that i'm gonna PASS :) :) this is it!! JESUS PLEASE HELP ME!

can u imagine me driving? i so can. i fully understand that it's for His glory! :)

i'll let u know how it went k?

thoughts

i've been having random thoughts today.

1. funny how u meet some people and never ever ever see them again. even if you do, you prolly wont remember that you've met and would just pass each other by as strangers. am i making sense?

2.been thinking alot about the people back home. i miss them. really want my house phone working then i could call them.

3. i have been trying to count how many hours of sleep i've been getting and definitely, it's a lot less than what i would have love to get.

4. faithful with the little? how?

5. how could someone be so near yet so far, so predictable yet so unexpected, so special yet so ordinary.

6. i havent used my camera for AGES and i miss taking photos >.<

7. i want to be able to just sit and lie there and let my mind totally drift off.

8. i want to be held by you.

9. time managing and being diligent is my next big task!! i wanna master it then perhaps i could have a social life after that! :P i miss hanging out with ppl i love. miss the times when i could easily spend time with ppl.

10. i wanna go star gazing, lying on the beach, have a nice playlist, and dream.

11. wonder what is happening on the other side of the world. i bet there's someone else on this very earth is having the exact same thought that i have now. but funny is it how minds could work.

12. i want ice cream.

random enough.




it prolly doesnt make sense .. haha. oh well.

-.-

MunYee has never been as heavy and as fat as now. just weighed myself >.<

i so am going on a diet starting monday!
*fingers crossed*

Answered prayerS

Some of you might have known that over the last 2 weeks, i've lost my student id. my official monash student ID and without it, during assignment period, is rather disasterous. i had been believing, praying and even got everyone that i was talking to, when remembered bout my ID, to pray about it for me.
you were thinking, why dont you just replace one. easy. save all the troubles.
well, you see, i dont understand this but monash impose a $60 as a penalty to replace a student ID. and no way i can afford it, no way i'm going to work 4 hours in maxie and redo an ID. it's just ridiculous and it's prolly because of me misplacing it under my pile of mess in the room.
this is the second week since i've lost my ID. i forgot to check lost and found and been just a lil concerned about it. but i believe that one day it would just appear out of no where in my room and prior to me replacing it. i told God about how worried i was and stuff. but He has it all in control.
today i got an email from monash.

hmm. i should copy n past it.

but basically, it states tat someone found it!! :D :D :D and has returned it! WOOT! thank you Jesus.

"Do not be anxious about anything, instead, pray about everything!" - Phil 4:6.

Thank you Lord, for listening to my lil prayers. i know i can trust You :)

a new journey

it's amazing how when u were at the verge of an end,
you'll hold on so tightly believing that things will be alright.



you know what?
i learnt that it will be when you learn to trust and believe.




Listen and do it.

He's already prepared it and He wiill guide you through it, even when you fall and dont wanna stand up again.



He loves you and it will never be washed away

huh?

wonder why am i doing this whilst i should be doing my 2500 words essay. i'm only 1/5 done. crap.

my topic is on the community of Pudu, where my grandma lives. So, basically, trying to research on the factual side of the community but somehow, all these travel guide and FOOD kept coming up!! *DROOLS* and somehow, they make me homesick >.< i wanna go back home.. for a short trip? smart geniuses, could u please quickly invent teleport? haha. or God, i dun mind having the JUMPING gift :P

haha. back to my assignment >.<

God's working a new thing in me. i'm scared but yet excited :) BIG thank you to those who never fails to input and sow in me. i love you so dearly. more detailed update later.

this is oh-so-beautiful

Bring The Rain lyrics

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

i should stop procrastinating and finish up my 2500 words essay.

sounds like a plan? hehe :)












i know somewhere around the earth, at the other end, you're thinking of this and directing it to me.
but the funniest thing is that this is for someone else.

i'm so sorry that i couldnt be there for you. my heart broke when i heard and read about it. i couldnt believe it. i want you to know that i've always been praying for you. for one instance, i questioned God and wondered why all these happen. to you and again. but i'm sure He got it all planned and there must be a reason. i'm so sorry i couldnt talk to you more yesterday. i was burdened myself. i broke down too. only 2 ppl knew. it reminded me of how u perhaps have silently cried yourself to sleep so many nights. i'm sorry. i should have texted you when He told me to. if there's anything i could do, i wanna say i love you so very much and i long to be back with you. i was dying for a hug yesterday and i know how bad it may have been for you too. Please take care of yourself my love. i miss you so very much..

mwah.


jo, i know you'll prolly like copy this and send it to me. hehehe. thank you so much for what u've done in my life. i know how badly u wanted to give me a hug. i wish i could receive it too.. miss u.

friends :)

thank God for the people He placed in my life. Good old friends and new friends.

i love making new friends and getting to know more people. but yet, i also love getting to know people more. there's always golden moments when you bond with old friends. makes you appreciate what you have and let you realised what a long way you've come.

camp was awesome. part of it was because of the above. seeing how old friends were completely transformed and new friends drawing closer to the heartbeat of God. It's amazing and something within my heart stirs.

did i tell you also that i've learnt to make my very own first coffee using the coffee machine? :D yea!! i can make coffee now. you be the judge and let me know if it's good :p

BEAUTIFUL :)

I had the most amazing experience on Monday when i just finished work. As usual, i was going to catch the bus home from work and u know, feeling a little tired. with the groceries i bought from this asian store and chocolates for fund raising, my mind was just running with heaps of to do lists and praying that the grocery bags wont break.

So, the bus came along after a short wait and i hopped onto it. there, was the friendliest bus driver i've ever met. the moment i stepped into the bus, i tot i'll be nice and say " hi". usually the bus drivers would just acknowledge it and ignore me after 2 sec. but this guy, he was fully like " HI BEAUTIFUL! How are you?"

i was fully stunned and fully grinning. chatted for a while and headed off to my seat. my mind was then drifted off with sms-ing people and the things i need to do before camp. soon enough, we reached monash and i needed to hop off.

As i was really kind *cough cough*, (and also the fact that i dun want my cheapo lousy thin plastic bag full of groceries to burst) i let others get off before me. the bus driver called me to use the front door. i didnt give much consideration to it so i went. Then, he started talking to me even more.

BD (Bus Driver) : you know what? you're the most beautiful girl i've met! (or something like that. cant really remember the exact words)

ME : ... (laughing to myself and also in embarassment)

BD : What's your name?

Me : Mun Yee

BD : That's a beautiful name. Have I picked u up before?

Me : Well, maybe. i take this bus to work quite often. maybe you did

BD : What course are you doing? you studying yea?

Me : I'm doing nursing and paramedics double degree down in monash peninsula. And as you can see. i do travel a bit.

BD : wow. i reckon u'll be such a good nurse. (turns to this other guy in the bus) dont you think she'll be an amazing nurse?

other guy : yea!!

Me : (laughing) Hope so.

BD : If i had something happen to me now, and if you're the paramedic who comes and tend to me, i'll prolly be going to heaven immediately.

ME : (talking to myself in my heart)- hope not. (continues laughing) Nahhhhhhh.

BD : do you have a boy friend. i'm sure there's heaps of boys going after you. look at you. so beautiful (or some what) if i was back in my 25s i would definitely go after you but now, i'm like 55 , old fart, surely there's heaps of guys going after you.

Me : (LAUGHING EVEN MORE) haha. no. i dont have a boyfriend and there's no guys going after me.

BD : then it must be you being too busy in your studies or work.

Me : yea. gonna concentrate and focus on these before getting a bf.

BD : good girl.

... laughing and slight conversation continues.

BD : do remember to say hi next time if you jump on this bus.

ME : yea sure. you definitely made my day. have a good night.

BD : see ya beautiful.

His name is Martin by the way. i made a friend :)

Seriously, it made my day. well, my night more like it. i was just like wow. cant believe i am that beautiful in the eyes of that man. and i wasnt even putting any effort in dressing up or anything. i was in my dirty working clothes and just trying to lug my groceries home. nothing too special. but it's amazing how there's power in words and how one thing said can change the feelings of another person :) dun get me wrong, i am not like fully flattered over this one incident. like flying off the roof for someone saying that i'm pretty. i know i am beautiful because God created me :D

it's amazing how God can speak through people. on monday night itself, i crashed. something happened and i couldnt believe wat my ears wat sending into my brains. my thoughts ran wild. i was in a position where i duno what to do or what is left to do. i cried out. but i just love how gentle Jesus' response is. how sweet and perfect.

"Look up, beautiful" and He dried my tears.

peeps! check this video out!! hillarious! my lecturer found it on youtube!



going on my second clinical placement tmr. nervoussssss!!

but.. this ..




oh which also reminded me that nursing and paramedics can be fun :D
note the lyrics yo!!

CLINICAL PLACEMENT no.1

i had my placement yesterday. less towards the academical side now. i've gotta journal it as my homework later. in all, it was good. i went on the ambulance, went on the road with the crew and really got to see REAL stuff happening! seriously.. i think i've been in such a blessed situation and the worst thing was that i never really appreciate them and have been taking them for granted. going out on this placement really got me thinking a lot. a lot about me and life and people and God.

prior to it, i was really nervous. i was SCARED! all i could do is just to ask God to prepare me and look after me. got heaps of ppl praying for me. thanks jo. u know how much it meant to me rite?

i was really afraid that i'm going to come across death face to face. well, if you're not sure wat my job is, i'll tell you now. being a paramedics is going on EMERGENCY situations in light of easing that situation. where people draw the line and consider an "emergency" however, may vary. yet, could you see the picture i'm painting? i would be out on the road, on my FIRST observer shift, handling people with pain, uneasiness, trauma or medical conditions and perhaps, even death. can u imagine that? i never really thought how serious it could be until this week. IT'S REAL HUMAN BEING LIFE THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE! you are expected to do something when emergency come. public expects you to carry hope and life. i know where it comes from. but i'm scared. i was very scared to get a cardiac arrest or a code 0 - death. i mean i do wanna open up my perspective and learning experiences but i was caught in the dilemma. i just couldnt get over the fact that it's a SOMEBODY and a SOMEONE we're resusitating. the patient there is someone's beloved, ok?! most importantly, God's. i dun wanna imagine the pain and emotions the family and friends who have to go through if indeed such case happen.

thank God, i didnt get a code 1 - immediate life threat. some of the students may be all disappointed that nothing "interesting" happen. yea, getting a code 1 is indeed interesting and eye opening and exciting. but hey.. it's a person we're talking about here! once we lost him, then we're completely separated then! how scary! imagine being on the person's shoes!!


anyway, in my shift of 7 hrs, i was out seeing 3 patients. 1st was abdominal pain, 3rd was a lady with hip injuries. the second patient ... she broke my heart. suffering from breast cancer, she called in for help cause she had problems with her breathing. her condition has metaphysised to her lungs and bones. it is in a very advanced stage. it was my ultimate first time seeing a person going through cancer. i was astound. she must have had gone through so much. her eyes, her hair loss, her body giving in told me how much she had gone through. the fact that she's still very young and would perhaps have a brighter future if she's healthy adds more to the greyness of this matter. it's as though she tries fighting but yet knew that her body gave in. i duno. i didnt even really dare to talk much to her cause i'm just so taken aback by seeing the first person in the most vulnerable state of fighting cancer. her parents were on the scene when we arrived. i was so sad seeing them. parents will always be parents. when your child is sick, it hurts them more. wat more a cancer that turned into a dreadful secondary one. it was sad and i didnt know wat to do or wat to say. i could only say a prayer for her in my heart and await for God's healing touch.

it got me thinking alot. what are we doing with our lives here? are we making a stand? are we making an impact? somethings are in God's hand and it all happens according to His plans. i could only ask for His wisdom and annointing to be with me. yesterday reminded me of the value of life. life is short and it can be challenging. are you appreciating it? are you living to what God has called you to? it does not mean take out all the fun. it means know your purpose. shake the planet.


it was like an eye-opening experience to my shallow contended self-contained world. time to get up.

i give because i love you.
all that i do is because i love you.
please hold my hand and give me strength. take me deeper.

i need you.

EASTER AND CAMP :D

What is Easter and what does it mean to you? in Planetkids, we watched this movie, a Veggietales :D i wasnt brought up in a Christian family, hence never really knew what it was and never got to watch these cartoons. Tat's y i enjoyed it as much as the kids.

This sums it up so well. i nearly teared *sniff sniff* MAKE SURE U WATCH THIS k?!!




God has been working in my heart alot recently. I know a lot of people around me doesnt really get it. why am i being so religious or why am i so into Christianity. perhaps you were thinking, I could simply live a life without God, that was like how I were before you were a Christian. i was happy and contented. YET, the fact is i cant. I tried talking myself out but the reality is that i cant. God is SO REAL. I cant deny the truth. He speaks to me, teaches me about life and above all, He loves me. Course i'm not trying to be all holy and all church-ish, but dont u see the change? if i could let you view Him through my life as though it was a tv show, i so would rewind and let you see when He was there and answered all my prayers. now, living without Him as a part of me would just be so empty. There were times when you try filling your life with people, events, materials to numb the hole inside. i knew i did, with people. once they were gone, or when they said something unexpected unintentionally, my heart was shattered and it ached so badly and i would have it stay in my mind for ages. now, i learnt that man could fail you but God never fails. He comforts. Ah, Jesus is just so good.

He has been pointing things that wasnt quite right in my heart, trying to mould be into a better person. of course the moulding process wasnt easy. when He breaks you as He shapes you, it surely didnt happen overnight. Giving up certain things, change my focus, spending more time at the beneficial things and heaps more are certainly for the better. it's amazing how God takes you through different journey and He will take you out of the valley. this year, i felt like i'm being stretched to doing more things above my capacity. I've been given more responsibilities but in the same time, i'm given more strength too :D

I do feel bad for not managing my time as well, didnt get to spend as much time with my family and friends. but i am trying to improve. i still love you guys lots. i'm trying to sow more time in prayers for you :D i wanna pray for you more!! but on the other hand, i'm also trying to catch up with my studies. it is a really interesting course and i'm really enjoying it. i really cant wait to learn more and put my skills into practice. wat i really cant wait is to see THE POWER OF GOD'S HEALING, and the priviledge of me bringing out His miracles and also His LOVE. oh oh oh! you know wat?? i've learnt CPR, taking blood pressures, washing my hands (the pro way of washing k? dun play play) , making beds and played with the stretcher. i am really excited about wat i'm doing :)

ANyway, i been on planetkids CAMP RED! it's amazing how God moved. I so wanted more for them and things happened!! these kids that have been placed under my care are all AMAZING kids. they are all so gorgeous and i just love them even more :D :D cant wait to see how God is going to take them deeper. they are just so innocent and they believe just because they believe. so pure. if kids can meet Jesus face to face and hear from Him, why cant we just remove our doubts and push past the crowd? He is waiting to answer the desperate heart cries of yours. Why cant you see His outstretched arms?





"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you,and they know that you have sent me, I have made known to them and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
John 17:25

it's weird isnt it when you could just keep yourself awake trying to ponder upon things that doesnt really make sense when your body is super tired and is calling out for u to go to bed? it amazingly pushes past physical bariers.


anywayz... had planetkids vision launch + breaky today. my goodness. it was absolutely amazing. God spoke straight right through my heart. there are OBSTRUCTION in us, in me particularly. i reckon it is time to FULLY and COMPLETELY let go and LET GOD. i've been trying, depending on my own strength yet i'm not going anywhere. revelation hit me the other day when i was talking to jo, that i can only do so much and the rest of it, it's completely up to God to change me, to change me from the inside out. it's a lil like u're a diabetic and you have sweet tooth, you know chocolates are bad for you, yet, you cant resist the temptation of it. BUT you know wat? there's always grace that enables you to. SO, i'm choosing now, to walk in it.

I'm sorry Lord, for the things I've done.
Give me a pure heart to not waver to the left or the right.
Carry me home.




cant wait for the EXPLOSION!! :)

it's all buried inside
and i hate it
cos i cant read between the lines.

my inner girl is crying out
for a lil hug and a lil touch
if you care at all, a lil assurance is more than enough.
if you see me now,
could u even tell,
i'm curling in my corner
waiting for your shoulder.

where are you and You? i'm searching for something far and new.
this journey is seemingly getting harder. Or is it just me complicating it?

obedience comes with a price. and i duno how long can i stand. i need His strength and a whole heap of encouragement. cos i dun wanna step ahead, i dun wanna walk out of His grace.


Hide me now
under the shadow of your wings.

OH MY GOODNESS!

i just realised that i havent been blogging for somewhile now. to be exact, for almost 3 weeks! but guess wat??? i'll be having my internet connected today!! YAYYY :) so .. check out this page for PHOTO OVERLOAD! haha.

i miss having you lot around >.< but PRAISE GOD for new opportunities and new responsiblities. i know He will look after ALL of us and carry us through.

He loves YOU :D

GOING GOING GONE

heading back to melbourne today. a month or two ago, i would prolly have a "finaalllyyy" added to the back of it. but then, now. maybe not as much. God really has everything in planned so that I would learn greater things.
jo prayed for me last night. i felt some stirring within me. something i hadnt felt for somewhile now. i was ignited with a desperation for His touch. it made me anticipate church more on sunday. i'm expecting to see God's power and miracles. i need one.

could u believe that i'm leaving in like less than 12 hours time?
could u also believe that i hadnt pack a single thing?! haha :P last minute packer! ;)

sometimes, i think i'm alil too naive. to think that it was even possible. oh well. see what happens! haha.

I'M A BLESSED CHILD

when i tot tat i'm left alone at the corner, God proves that HE cares. i am blessed with so many things just today and the past fews :D sometimes, i think being born on the feb 29th is just such a marvelous thing :)

went out with the new expanded family members of our AMs gang -elwin and beatrice. had dinner at centerpoint after both of them courageously drove all the way up to my place for the first time from cheras. JUST FOR ME! can u feel the love?!! (i hear a loud OHH YEA! ) we were so embarassing loud (common stuff for me ;P ) that we shoo-ed the customers away and got ourselves som angry stares from people around. oopsie. haha. but it was good. we even went to the small playground to take photos. it was great. i enjoyed their company!! HEAPS! photos with beatrice.so.. hopefully will upload soon.

and tonight, i had one of the greatest nights in my hols and the best bday celebration in the past 4 years :)

thanks to these wonderful gorgeous fantabulous lovely adorable ... people.



and they got me these cute pretty lil things as my bday cake.



*melts*

we had a home-cook meal by the best chef ever- my mum.



and headed to yeen's house where i



rode an electric scooter! how cool is that! hahahahaa :P




it was truly a great night!!! seriously! i'm so loved now :)

thank You!

BACK FROM BANGKOK

i'm down with a flu. sick and currently home alone >.<

during this trip, i've learnt couple of things!

1. never go to thailand during chinese new year or any other festive seasons! it's PACKED with tourists.

2.try not to get sick when u're flying! it's so SOOO hard to balance the air pressure \

3. God has everything in place and in plan. perhaps going back late to melb is to spend more time with family? i duno. but it's been great.














emo.

i miss you. miss your loving and strong pressence that floods my heart. i'm so empty. i need your touch. for some while, i thought i was forgotten. i thought i wasnt important. teach me to live up to your expectations. i'm so scared, so unprepared.

WHAT'S NEXT?

currently.. i'm stuck at my mum's office. super bored. my bumm has been on this wooden chair for more than 3 hours. my back is aching. bad posture. blah blah blah.

anywayz.. just a quick update :)

even though i've been around to couple of places, i still felt that being in malaysia is somewat unproductive. but still.. i'm trying to make it better. trying to get more things done. trying to learn more, trying to widen up my experiences. but still, there's some hinderances. LAZINESS and TRANSPORT!! BAHHH

still.. seriously. i have to thank teck keong, desmond, my jimuis and all those who have driven me for always being so willing to take me around. cant imagine myself taking public and travelling under the hot sun, like how i used to in high school. but anyhoo.. the bus routes had changed i think. the number n fares are different from last time. reckon i'll get so lost if i just assumed n jumped on one! haha. still.. kl just scares me. i'm so pampered here :) wat to do. princess mar :P

anyhoo.. during the past few weeks, i've been actually quite active. come to serious thoughts. still.. been gaining heaps of weights due to the irresistable temptation of the evil chinese new year cookies n titbits! GRRR!! now.. achieving my pre-requisite fitness test will be a hard task. anywayzz... chinese new year so far has been pretty good. i'm getting heaps of angpaus. HEHEHE. well .. more than the past five years. u've gotta understand tat this is technically my first time in five years spending more than 2 days of cny in malaysia. so .. hip hip hooray to tat :)
chinese new year, to me, is a great way of spending time with family. great bonding times. now that few of my couz are overseas, this is the season when they come back and my chance to be with them :) it's just great :D

i'll upload some photos later.

apart from cny, if i backtracked, i've spent more time with my primary school frens this hols too :) i'm so proud of them!! still keeping in touch wiht so many ppl. we even went up to genting :) seriously, the bond is still there! amazing~ thank God!

also, i've been to sg chongkak with raymond, teck keong and beatrice. SOOOO FUN! will let the photos do the talk later also :)

one thing i realised this hols that watching drama series is a total waste of time! BOO!!! so addictive n so antisocial. sigh. y did i fall into the trap!! GRR.

hmmm .. i'll just update more after i've uploaded the photos.

off to bangkok tmr~!! YAYYYYYYY :) cant wait!! good food, shopping, here i come!! :)
oh ya. happy valentines day peeps! i love u!!

FIRE

Lord, i want the fire of God. Father God, i want to completely surrender myself to you and fear not the gazes of men. Lord Jesus, there are times when I have reserved. God, if there are parts when i served my dreams rahter than you, God, i pray that You'll remove them. Father, scrape off the impurity and work in my heart. put me through the heat and i thank you that i know i wont be going through it alone. Lord, thank you for affirming my calling. Father, thank you for loving me. Give me the courage to do what you have called me to and the strength to break through the case tat i'm enclosed in. Help me Lord, to give and to love.

Many hearts are hungry tonight
Many trapped in darkness
Yearn for the light
So many who are far from home
And so many who are lost
O Lord Your wounded children need
The power of Your cross

As bread that is broken
Use our lives
As wine that is poured out
A willing sacrifice

Empower us Father
To share the love of Christ
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

Help us to begin where we are
Help us love the people
Near to our hearts
Then give our faith a mission field
Wherever You may call
Lord love Your world
Through each of us
Until we've touched them all

As wine that is poured out
As bread that is broken Lord
Use our lives

SWEET HEARTS <3

recently, i had the urge of calling the people i love sweetheart. i just love love them so much tat seeing them sweetens up my heart. wonder who actually invented this word. such a good fit! :)



when you're with the people you love, well for me, even though it's just plain talking, day dreaming in the car, eating, blah. watever. it's just a warm fuzzy feeling that colours up my heart. it's full of adventures. it's just like



even greater, God is my ultimate sweetheart :)
He holds my future in His hands.
i'm once again an OFFICIAL UNI STUDENT!!! say hello to the future nurse/paramedic.

i'll stand by you.




will you?

IN SEARCH OF SOMETHING PRECIOUS

i'm searching for 2 things at the moment. my beloved camera with lots of pictures back dated to sabah that i hadnt upload >.< CRAPPPP. so so sad.

the other, hurts my heart even more. seeing people i know going further and further from the light where we're all supposed to be walking in. i realised that i had been very very selfish. very very self-centered. recently, i walked past people, with a cant be bothered, there's-lots-of-time-left, maybe-someone-else-could-do-it lousy attitude. it's all so wrong. i had been consumed in my own world. literally, i had been in a nutshell, enjoying the unbeneficial attention, so shallow and GRRR. i cant believe of wat i had been up to for the past week. wat mindset had i been putting up on. i would really wanna flush myself in the toiletbowl. but i'm so glad God did what He wants.

the devil has tried to distract me with things. but no longer i'm under those fantacies. HELL NO! i've been woken up. i sense the urgency to GO. God is real. He opens a way. He WILL.

INDIA, i'll be there someday. kids, see the light. Jesus loves you and He is real.

Lord, I need Your grace and mercy.
I need to pray like never before.
I need the power of your holy spirit
To open Heaven's door.

Spirit touch Your church, stir the hearts of men.
Revive my soul with your passion once again.
I want to care for others
Like Jesus cares for me.
Let your reign fall on me, Oh Lord.
Let your reign fall on me.

Lord we humbly come before You.
We don't deserve of You what we ask.
But we long to see Your glory.
Restore this dying land.


if i'm so anxious about my camera with the beautiful memories, what more should i be when it comes to people?

random

#1. i met my primary school crush the other day . well i think it's him but i was too shy to say hi. bet he had forgotten me ages ago. we've both moved on i'd say. but it just reminded me of the innocence back then.

#2. chipmunks singing chinese new year songs! oh so weird.

missing you!!

i miss melbourne.
i miss sabah.
i miss kajang.
i miss malacca.
i miss durian orchards.
i miss G-to-be.
i miss PD.
but above all, i miss the people that has gone through each n every place with me.

BIDDING THE YEAR OF 2007
WELCOME 2008


finally.. i'm having the time to just reflect and think about the year now that all whole body is aching and i can barely move.. but i guess it's good as well. to sit down and be still. to think about the year and what has it meant to me. how can i improve.

random note:it's like pouring like mad out there and it's actually quite scary to be at home alone.. yet. somehow there's a part of me enjoying it. knowing that Jesus is with me :D

erhem. concentrate.

i guess the year 2007 in all has been a year full of learning experiences and growing opportunities. filled with love, smiles, tears, challenges, revelations, fall-flat-on-bed moments and lots more.

it surely wasnt a all smooth sailing and problems free year. but i really thank God tat there were times of mourning and uncertainties cos it made me understand that its time to grow up and learn to handle things. it's time to be held responsible. to be held accountable and to be accountable to others.so..

in the year 2007.. i'd

been a uni student.
met a whole lot of new people.extended by social circle
been in a ministry. children ministry. by God's grace.
first time renting a house
bought my very own furniture
performed on stage
cleaned the toilet for the very first time
cooked on a weekly basis
job hunting and worked in 4 different places.
been to a funeral for the very first time
talked and be-friends with my neighbour
loving the neighbourhood
travelled to the west of melbourne fortnightly
been through tensional relationships with family and frens
been hurt and loved.
stayed awake on adrenalin
went to jakarta with lots of other experiences attached to it
witnessed God's miracles.
understand the importance of authority and obedience
babysit neighbour's kids and was so blessed by it.
welcomed into a suburb family, God's family.
failed my Ps twice.
gained weight - BOOOOOO -
gone through stressful academical period
placed in an island of uncertainties
experienced God's faithfulness and providence.
been blessed by so many leaders, drivers, cooks and organiser.
went to strawberry picking for the very first time
learnt how to dance
attended graduations
went on the best vacations and outings

actually there's so so much more. it's just as wat the bible say in

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

even as i was reflecting. i couldnt stop thinking and memories just flashed back into my mind. honestly, i've gotta admit tat i havent really been a good friend or even showed enough love to others. i had been selfish and i could have been better. i hadnt spent my time wisely. there were times when i was lukewarm and ignorant. but of course, i REMEMBERED the times when i had received, the times when LOVE become reality instead of fantasy. i can pictured the times when i was literally laughing and rolling on the floor. i remembered the moments when i was praying and tears rolled down my cheeks. i remembered lying on the bed thanking God for the person next to me.

so, as the year 2008 kicked in, i tried denying it, but it's a fact tat i'm 20 soon.
haha. pat's new year sms ran into my head. new year new bf. well.. perhaps.. perhaps not?! who knows?! but it's definitely the start of something new. yes. i havent accomplished a lot last year. and there's a lot to pick it up from.


MY RESOLUTIONS

to never ever take God for granted and still to draw closer to Him
to place Him first in everything
time management get my priorities right in all areas - people, studies, church, activities, job
be grateful for everything
see the bigger picture before acting rashly
have a pure and soft heart that's easy to mould.
this year, for me, i believe is a year of giving more than recieving.
it's my turn to be a blessing instead of continously being blessed. ( I REALLY WANNA PASS MY Ps!!!)
be proactive and initiative
in uni, i really wanna make a difference. may it be in the lives of others or watsoever. i wanna leave my mark
be a woman of prayer, faith and compassion
i wanna be there to lend my shoulders and ears. to be ever ready for others.
this year, i wanna be empowered to win a generation thru love

watever it is, i'm excited and full of hope. He is always there, guiding me through it and i never wanted it any other way to spend my year.