THE GETTING OF WISDOM
- "PLC Drama Production- world's premier"
yupz .. it sounded real gorgeous and grand eh?? and guess wat??? i'm in it~!! :P .. well .. i'm not the cast as i cant really act .. and i'm not capable of dancing u see .. so i'm in the crew .. lighting crew .. :) my job is to lit up and dim down the stage in time and accordingly ... sounded like an easy and appealing job to me at first when i signed up .. bearing the tot that oh .. no big deal man .. easy job and i could watch the play for free!! yay~!! :P but when i was at rehearsal .. oni at that time i realised tat it was completely opposite~ .. timing is very important and not to forget .. accuracy~! .. and the producer is such a fierce and strict man tat u simply couldnt afford to make any mistake .. but other than tat .. he's kinda alrite .. during the play .. i have to pay full attention to wat i was doing ..no day/night dreaming .. and keep focus ... not a single minute for me to relax .. can u feel the tense now? .. eyes on stage and hands on the desk board .. no fooling around . no toking to my frens .. no anything except for doing wat i'm supposed to be .. bring up the light .. blackout .. cross fade .. and 11 up . 12 should be down by the time she enters the stage. . and all those .. wow~!! so stressed when the house lights are down and when the ochestra started playing their music .. every single person around me is just so stressed and the atmostphere is simple so tense cos ... the most obvious mistake on stage is the lighting mistakes .. now u see ..
2 nites ago. was the opening nite ..first performance after 2 weekends of practice and mon and tues nite practices .. crews have to be in black .. gates opened at about 7.15 and the show started at 7.35 .. nard .. my partner who was supposedly to be doing lighting as well is terribly sick ..(get well soon nard~!!) and the producer couldnt afford pau to do it since she hasnt seen the whole play .. *note that i'm using present tense there .. she fell asleep last nite when she was should be watching the play .. so .. considering tat .. she hasnt watch the full play .. and she thinks tat it's very boring .. secretly .. i kinda agree too... ) phew.. the producer sitting next to me was kinda scary at first ..cos he was under so much stress and was literally so stressed out! .. but it was kinda good though cos the part where i was unsure of .. he was there to do the checking and the yes that... no .. do tat .. so ... ya ..it was pretty alrite .. :P and i wouldnt get tat much scoldings from him too .. cos he would be the one who wasnt concentrating and dint give me the queue .. so :) kinda went well last nite..especially the second half :P
something really funny happened during the interval .. cant really remember now .. something like susanne spilt the cordial all over the carpet but was saved courageously by jess .. :P
yesterday was the second nite .. nard was still poorly sick and still lyin on the bed .. so i brought pau along to help me .. the first half dint seem to go tat well cos i just have this feeling tat i brought the lights up too early .. :P but then .. the producer told me tat it was too slow .. hmmm .. i wonder why~ ?~!! well .. anywayz ... during the interval .. i sneaked and ate lots of cookies .. hehe :P need tonnes of energy and sweet things to ease the stress mann .. the jam tarts were absolutely scrumptious~!! :P stolen all of those from vicki and see ann's stall hehe :P ya .. then continuing for the second half .. i actually tot tat the second half was way better .. but in the end .. he came down from the balcony seat .. and said tat he would sit next to me again tonite to make sure tat everything is rite in order and accurate .. so tat the show would be perfect~ .. and he claimed tat it was by no fault of us .. since he changed the settings and gave us a new script .. so .. just pray for the best to come for tonite ! :) anywayz .. pau, after doing lighting for one nite.. complained tat it was actually a very tiresome and effort consuming job .. she said it was very "shang shen" since u seriouslly have to concentrate full on .. not oni ur eyes .. but also ur ears .. ur head.. ur hands ... ur everything .. personally .. i think it's even worse than excersing non stop for one hour .. well ..for ur info .. this play goes on for 3 full hours .. and ya .. i would rather excerse 1hour .. at least i can get slim ~!! hehe :P
Friday, July 29, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
shout out 1 : does anyone know how to make a new skin??? i seriously dun like mine .. so boring and so dull~!! .. *ooh..i've got a saviour .. mandy just popped and asked me do i want the "codes" for changing the settings * still .. accepting help or suggestions from ppl!!!! if u seriously think tat reading my blog is a pain .. give me some clues to fix it k~!! appreciate tat ..thankz ..
ooh .. it's working now .. but still a yucky one. ..will have a nicer one coming up soon :)
ooh .. it's working now .. but still a yucky one. ..will have a nicer one coming up soon :)
Thursday, July 21, 2005
LOVE, LAZE and LIFE...
well .. recently.. had been hearing bout lots of ppl facing love department breakdowns.. not only one ..but a few.. well .. stil .. makes me really question what is love??? is there real truthful and fruitful love in this world??? i guess yes~!!.. this gal here feels very loved :) thankz to all her bunch of frens both here in oz .. malaysia or in anywhere from the world :P and also thanks to her unconditional love from family ..
joenah .. my ex-roomie .. came over to visit us from brunei .. she left the bhse last year .. and she was greatly missed by lots of us.. well. . ME! .. cos her presence really made a huge impact in my life and how she brought joy during the longest term of the year .. and how we all cheered each other up with all the stupid things we do.. and when the news tat she's coming over to pay a visit really lifted me up. ..something exciting to look forward too .. well .. we planned to go out on saturday ..but then ..ended up no one went cos it was rainning and joenah was sleeping .. i waited for them for hours .. but no one showed up ..it was ok still ..cos i met up with my couz and spent few hours catching up with them ..so i wasnt tat bad not seeing joenah .. but really wanna see her though .. then i heard tat she's coming over for dinner on wed .. so i was like yay~!!! .. we had dinner together .. and talked and chatted and hung out till 8smtg.. really felt loved when i was with her .. but she really lost weight!!! such a skinny ass now!!! .. aikz .. when is it gonna be my turn?? >.< anywayz.. it was very stupid of me when she was leaving .. i dint get to say bye to her because the announcement wasnt clear at all in my room .. but i did kinda say bye to her before .. so it was ok ..just hope tat she's having fun now up at brisbane!!!!
another incident is tat mum actually bought me a dress for my formal(equivelent to prom) here! she's passing it to couz' gal friend who is coming over on fri to pass it to me~!!! .. really wanna see how does it look like and whether am i gonna look fat in it!! ..really anxious@@ .. but it was very nice and very sweet of mum to do tat and very unexpected too!!! :) .. thankz mum! ... love ya so so much!!!! but even though she has gotten me the dress.. i'm still debating whether should i go to formal.. no shoes.. no bags.. no accessories .. no everything .. except the dress!!! :) ermm .. may just think about it later .. since it's like a month away..the key thing now is.. to LOOSE WeigHt .. there's where the LAZINESS fits in here..
i hate to admit this .. but i'm getting more and more lazy in excercising .. because i think i stuffed up my back .. my back has been aching quite a lot lately.. since i went back for hols .. i had seen the ortho and ate the medicine that he gave me .. but seemed like they were to no help at all .. it aint healing and it still hurts!!!! >.< so ..tat has given me a good and lazy excuse to do excercise and to keep fit~!!! but on the other hand .. i'm so scared tat somehting may go wrong .. i dun wanna end up not walking properly or having to have backaches for the rest of my life *touchwood* .. i'm just playing badminton now .. not something tat is too active and too much for my back .. but i do need it for stretching!!!!! .. but i really duno wat to do .. planned to go to a physio here .. but it's gonna cost a bomb!!!!! really in such a lost world .. i dun even know how well is my body working.. how am gonna know bout other stuff on earth mann?~@!!! >.< gosh!
another thing.. about laziness is tat i tend to look forward to school or lessons ending .. this senario never seemed to have happened before but now .. it's happening.. gosh.. why??~!! why??!!! ... everyday i go to school is just to wait for school to end .. cos the lessons are getting boring and more boring.. sometimes .. i even keep glancing at the clock ..wondering when is the bell ringing .. sometimes its.. oh damn .. another half an hour.. but sometimes it's oh yes ,,.. 10 minutes more .. but then .. tat's not the point ..the point is tat .. why am i turning to this??? i dun go for recess now but rush straight to the computer room to check and reply my email .. i dun pay full attention in class but i pray for lessons to end ... i'm getting lazy and lazier .. and now.. this all have to change.. i duno how .. i duno when. . but this cant be like this anymore.. is it becos of the fact tat i'm not going home in sept is kinda turning me upside down .. or is it because i know things wouldnt be the same by the time i go home worries me too much tat i'm not getting enough rest.. aikz.. all i know is this aint gonna be like this no more.!! nope!! i'm gonna stop this laziness!!!! *sounds determined but in actual fact... i'm not too sure whether will i do tat*
the last session .. life .. few things had been happening lately .. of ppl heart breaking .. smiling .. worrying..gossipping.cryin .. laughing.. enjoying.. being angry .. being funny .. being ignorant .. so many kinds of emotions.. so many actions.. but i just wanna raise this question. .. wat is the purpose of life when we as human being has to go through all these kinds of stuff .. well .. it is through this tat we grow .. i never realised someone or something is so important till i lost it.. for eg. my macbeth book :P still havent found it yet >.< .. i never treasure the moments i have with frens and family till i have to leave them and leave my comfort zone.. i never understood why ppl cry when they watch movies till those scenes in the movies seemed so familiar as if they were occurring rite in front of my eyes tat my tears rolled without conscience.. i never said i love u and never really know how easy is it to say it till i NEEd to express it so badly but i missed the chance ..
wat's the point of me crapping here u might wonder .. well .. i just wanna let u know tat watever happens ..for the good or bad .. i treasure u!! and start saying thank u and start appreciating someone before it's too late .. i made this mistake.. never want it to happen again ..
well .. recently.. had been hearing bout lots of ppl facing love department breakdowns.. not only one ..but a few.. well .. stil .. makes me really question what is love??? is there real truthful and fruitful love in this world??? i guess yes~!!.. this gal here feels very loved :) thankz to all her bunch of frens both here in oz .. malaysia or in anywhere from the world :P and also thanks to her unconditional love from family ..
joenah .. my ex-roomie .. came over to visit us from brunei .. she left the bhse last year .. and she was greatly missed by lots of us.. well. . ME! .. cos her presence really made a huge impact in my life and how she brought joy during the longest term of the year .. and how we all cheered each other up with all the stupid things we do.. and when the news tat she's coming over to pay a visit really lifted me up. ..something exciting to look forward too .. well .. we planned to go out on saturday ..but then ..ended up no one went cos it was rainning and joenah was sleeping .. i waited for them for hours .. but no one showed up ..it was ok still ..cos i met up with my couz and spent few hours catching up with them ..so i wasnt tat bad not seeing joenah .. but really wanna see her though .. then i heard tat she's coming over for dinner on wed .. so i was like yay~!!! .. we had dinner together .. and talked and chatted and hung out till 8smtg.. really felt loved when i was with her .. but she really lost weight!!! such a skinny ass now!!! .. aikz .. when is it gonna be my turn?? >.< anywayz.. it was very stupid of me when she was leaving .. i dint get to say bye to her because the announcement wasnt clear at all in my room .. but i did kinda say bye to her before .. so it was ok ..just hope tat she's having fun now up at brisbane!!!!
another incident is tat mum actually bought me a dress for my formal(equivelent to prom) here! she's passing it to couz' gal friend who is coming over on fri to pass it to me~!!! .. really wanna see how does it look like and whether am i gonna look fat in it!! ..really anxious@@ .. but it was very nice and very sweet of mum to do tat and very unexpected too!!! :) .. thankz mum! ... love ya so so much!!!! but even though she has gotten me the dress.. i'm still debating whether should i go to formal.. no shoes.. no bags.. no accessories .. no everything .. except the dress!!! :) ermm .. may just think about it later .. since it's like a month away..the key thing now is.. to LOOSE WeigHt .. there's where the LAZINESS fits in here..
i hate to admit this .. but i'm getting more and more lazy in excercising .. because i think i stuffed up my back .. my back has been aching quite a lot lately.. since i went back for hols .. i had seen the ortho and ate the medicine that he gave me .. but seemed like they were to no help at all .. it aint healing and it still hurts!!!! >.< so ..tat has given me a good and lazy excuse to do excercise and to keep fit~!!! but on the other hand .. i'm so scared tat somehting may go wrong .. i dun wanna end up not walking properly or having to have backaches for the rest of my life *touchwood* .. i'm just playing badminton now .. not something tat is too active and too much for my back .. but i do need it for stretching!!!!! .. but i really duno wat to do .. planned to go to a physio here .. but it's gonna cost a bomb!!!!! really in such a lost world .. i dun even know how well is my body working.. how am gonna know bout other stuff on earth mann?~@!!! >.< gosh!
another thing.. about laziness is tat i tend to look forward to school or lessons ending .. this senario never seemed to have happened before but now .. it's happening.. gosh.. why??~!! why??!!! ... everyday i go to school is just to wait for school to end .. cos the lessons are getting boring and more boring.. sometimes .. i even keep glancing at the clock ..wondering when is the bell ringing .. sometimes its.. oh damn .. another half an hour.. but sometimes it's oh yes ,,.. 10 minutes more .. but then .. tat's not the point ..the point is tat .. why am i turning to this??? i dun go for recess now but rush straight to the computer room to check and reply my email .. i dun pay full attention in class but i pray for lessons to end ... i'm getting lazy and lazier .. and now.. this all have to change.. i duno how .. i duno when. . but this cant be like this anymore.. is it becos of the fact tat i'm not going home in sept is kinda turning me upside down .. or is it because i know things wouldnt be the same by the time i go home worries me too much tat i'm not getting enough rest.. aikz.. all i know is this aint gonna be like this no more.!! nope!! i'm gonna stop this laziness!!!! *sounds determined but in actual fact... i'm not too sure whether will i do tat*
the last session .. life .. few things had been happening lately .. of ppl heart breaking .. smiling .. worrying..gossipping.cryin .. laughing.. enjoying.. being angry .. being funny .. being ignorant .. so many kinds of emotions.. so many actions.. but i just wanna raise this question. .. wat is the purpose of life when we as human being has to go through all these kinds of stuff .. well .. it is through this tat we grow .. i never realised someone or something is so important till i lost it.. for eg. my macbeth book :P still havent found it yet >.< .. i never treasure the moments i have with frens and family till i have to leave them and leave my comfort zone.. i never understood why ppl cry when they watch movies till those scenes in the movies seemed so familiar as if they were occurring rite in front of my eyes tat my tears rolled without conscience.. i never said i love u and never really know how easy is it to say it till i NEEd to express it so badly but i missed the chance ..
wat's the point of me crapping here u might wonder .. well .. i just wanna let u know tat watever happens ..for the good or bad .. i treasure u!! and start saying thank u and start appreciating someone before it's too late .. i made this mistake.. never want it to happen again ..
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
after a weekend and lots of time to think ..i'm ok .. i'm seriously healing! far better from healing
just wanna say thanks to those who had thought of me..
even a short and simple sms lifted up my cloudy day
pulled me back from the deep pit of miserable,
and most of all put a smile back on my face ..
big hugs and thanks to chuxiang,jia mien,chunwei, patrick,joel,rueyyng,yeen
thankz for just ur short sms-es .. really did more than it could ..
really thank god for frens like u guys~!!!
*feeling loved*
just wanna say thanks to those who had thought of me..
even a short and simple sms lifted up my cloudy day
pulled me back from the deep pit of miserable,
and most of all put a smile back on my face ..
big hugs and thanks to chuxiang,jia mien,chunwei, patrick,joel,rueyyng,yeen
thankz for just ur short sms-es .. really did more than it could ..
really thank god for frens like u guys~!!!
*feeling loved*
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
aikz.. tired .. down .. not really in a great mood lately.. wonder why am i so moody?? aikz .. hmm .. things hadnt been that well lately .. and it's haunting me .. even in my sleep ~!! i couldnt sleep well last nite when normally i would just dooze off at the blink of an eye.. was toosing and turning .. on the bed .. feeling uneasy and uncomfy .. woke up in the middle of the nite .. and this morning had badminton training .. wondering how am i gonna stay clear and awake this whole day and especially during double maths .. with a monotone teacher .. *here i go complaining again bt maths* >.<
well .. guys.. i strongly recommend u to skip below .. as i'm just being cranky .. and letting all my emotions out.. i'll be alrite after a while.. dun worry bout me... and i just wanna apologize .
i'm sorry if i ever break anyone's heart .. i'm not worth it.. i'm not worth the tear .. all i wanna do is just not to be in other's way .. not to be the 3rd party involving in anyone's affair .. i just wanna let u guys have all the fun and for once.. dun bother bout me .. i dun mean to be harsh or throw my tantrum or flare my temper at u.. maybe my straighforwardness has caused u misunderstanding .. or maybe we just miscommunicated .. i'm sorry .. the last thing i wanna do is to break ur heart and make u cry.. i'm sorry.. i cant say enough sorry.. but do remember this.. if u're not ok .. i will never be..
maybe wat we all need is time.. just give me some time.. i may have changed.. i'm sure everyone would have.. it's a learning process and changing is inevitable. . and pls.. could u not put pressure in our frenship .. i'm very uneasy whenever i'm with u.. always expecting everything out of me .. i'm not prefect and i'm not urs.. i lead my own life.. and i need time for myself and other ppl other than u k? .. i'm sorry if i'm not tat close to u anymore .. but tat doesnt mean tat we're not frens.. just tat we're not tat close .. will never mean tat i'm loosing u.. it's just tat u're giving up on me.. and it's really disappoint and frustrates me.. but there's nothing much that i can do .. i will just accept it. .. in pain ..
why do i still have to put on a smile when i'm secretly crying inside..
why do i still have to pretend tat i'm strong when i'm bleeding
why do ppl kept expecting me to be alrite when i'm not the the rite person
why am i the person who has to bear all the responsibilities when i'm the one who dont wanna be involved~
why bother
why bother living when life is alwayz a misery yet a mystery
why bother crying when no one sympathize u
why bother lifting ur head up when things are falling apart ~
why ? why?
why me?
well .. guys.. i strongly recommend u to skip below .. as i'm just being cranky .. and letting all my emotions out.. i'll be alrite after a while.. dun worry bout me... and i just wanna apologize .
i'm sorry if i ever break anyone's heart .. i'm not worth it.. i'm not worth the tear .. all i wanna do is just not to be in other's way .. not to be the 3rd party involving in anyone's affair .. i just wanna let u guys have all the fun and for once.. dun bother bout me .. i dun mean to be harsh or throw my tantrum or flare my temper at u.. maybe my straighforwardness has caused u misunderstanding .. or maybe we just miscommunicated .. i'm sorry .. the last thing i wanna do is to break ur heart and make u cry.. i'm sorry.. i cant say enough sorry.. but do remember this.. if u're not ok .. i will never be..
maybe wat we all need is time.. just give me some time.. i may have changed.. i'm sure everyone would have.. it's a learning process and changing is inevitable. . and pls.. could u not put pressure in our frenship .. i'm very uneasy whenever i'm with u.. always expecting everything out of me .. i'm not prefect and i'm not urs.. i lead my own life.. and i need time for myself and other ppl other than u k? .. i'm sorry if i'm not tat close to u anymore .. but tat doesnt mean tat we're not frens.. just tat we're not tat close .. will never mean tat i'm loosing u.. it's just tat u're giving up on me.. and it's really disappoint and frustrates me.. but there's nothing much that i can do .. i will just accept it. .. in pain ..
why do i still have to put on a smile when i'm secretly crying inside..
why do i still have to pretend tat i'm strong when i'm bleeding
why do ppl kept expecting me to be alrite when i'm not the the rite person
why am i the person who has to bear all the responsibilities when i'm the one who dont wanna be involved~
why bother
why bother living when life is alwayz a misery yet a mystery
why bother crying when no one sympathize u
why bother lifting ur head up when things are falling apart ~
why ? why?
why me?
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Australia, school and studies .
back from the relaxing hols .. aikz .. still in a holiday mood .. not in a mood to study or complete my 10 chinese essays as homework .. aikz ..
but in this 2 short weeks of hols.. i really truly had fun .. n i personally think tat it was even better than the april hols. . duno y though .. for this 2 weeks .. i went to genting.. wang lihom's concert, went to school, met up with frens, watched oni 1 movie ..hung around with frens.. spent time with family, watch tv .. and all the tiny things that really matters..
i also realised how valuable my frens and family are to me .. it never hit me tat i wont be seeing them for another 1/2 year till when i was leaving..standing in front of the departure gate.. hugging sis, bro n mum good bye.. and shockingly enough i met chern han in the airport.. in my mind.. he kinda represented all my frens there.. and i was crying at that time .. i tried not to .. and tried holding my tears but i just couldnt.. oh well... still not strong enough .. T.T but will try not to cry again the next time .. anywayz.. managed to get to call a few ppl wit mum's hp .. but not with mine .. i'm so sorry i dint get to call all my bestiest frens.. and i'm sorry tat i couldnt say bye to u guys personnally.. or give u guys a hug .. but i just want u guys to know tat deep inside my heart .. there's a spot 4 u and u'll never know how much i miss u and how much i wanna stay .. >.<
was pulling myself to finish up my 10essays.. completed 5 yesterday nite.. yet was so tired since i touched down .. been sleeping from 9.30 to 17.30 then went for dinner and then from 00.30 to 7.56 .. wow~!! dint know tat i can sleep so much .. well .. it's better to be unconscience that knowing tat i have work to do and responsibilities to bear .. >.< aikz..
school's ok.. but it's freaking cold now.. shivering while typing this k..
gtg for lunch now..
guys who never reply my sms~ .. u know who u are.. better do~!!! and i welcome letters, mailz, calls and sms-es..
i miss u guyz LOTZ
back from the relaxing hols .. aikz .. still in a holiday mood .. not in a mood to study or complete my 10 chinese essays as homework .. aikz ..
but in this 2 short weeks of hols.. i really truly had fun .. n i personally think tat it was even better than the april hols. . duno y though .. for this 2 weeks .. i went to genting.. wang lihom's concert, went to school, met up with frens, watched oni 1 movie ..hung around with frens.. spent time with family, watch tv .. and all the tiny things that really matters..
i also realised how valuable my frens and family are to me .. it never hit me tat i wont be seeing them for another 1/2 year till when i was leaving..standing in front of the departure gate.. hugging sis, bro n mum good bye.. and shockingly enough i met chern han in the airport.. in my mind.. he kinda represented all my frens there.. and i was crying at that time .. i tried not to .. and tried holding my tears but i just couldnt.. oh well... still not strong enough .. T.T but will try not to cry again the next time .. anywayz.. managed to get to call a few ppl wit mum's hp .. but not with mine .. i'm so sorry i dint get to call all my bestiest frens.. and i'm sorry tat i couldnt say bye to u guys personnally.. or give u guys a hug .. but i just want u guys to know tat deep inside my heart .. there's a spot 4 u and u'll never know how much i miss u and how much i wanna stay .. >.<
was pulling myself to finish up my 10essays.. completed 5 yesterday nite.. yet was so tired since i touched down .. been sleeping from 9.30 to 17.30 then went for dinner and then from 00.30 to 7.56 .. wow~!! dint know tat i can sleep so much .. well .. it's better to be unconscience that knowing tat i have work to do and responsibilities to bear .. >.< aikz..
school's ok.. but it's freaking cold now.. shivering while typing this k..
gtg for lunch now..
guys who never reply my sms~ .. u know who u are.. better do~!!! and i welcome letters, mailz, calls and sms-es..
i miss u guyz LOTZ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)