Monday, July 30, 2007

<3

life is just full of loads of unpredictable random bits yea??? i am getting around the semester a lil better now. less worrying about the seemingly-incapable-to-handle assignments. yes. they are always there. tingling and bugging me. but GUESS WAT? i am not gonna be overuled by them!! NO WAY!!

i'm very positive today. it feels GOOD!!
why you ask?

firstly. i started off my day with this awesome AWESOME verse from the bible tat comforted me SOOOOO much!

" I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
i will counsel you and watch over you." - psalm 32:7 -

oooo... how good does it feel to know that God watches over me!! :) :)

secondly, thank God for my group assignment is seemingly to progress well. at the very beginning of the sem everyting seemed to be .. scary!!! but now.. looks like it's falling into place and my group mates are SO LOVE-ABLE!!!

weekend was awesome too!!!
friday went to meet up with my sis. she's turning into a beautiful woman of God!! I AM SO PROUD OF U GIRL!!! u're surely a shinning light :) ocf was good too with new people coming.. i think .. perhaps .. it is time for me to respond to smtg else.

OOHHHHH!!!! did i mention tat baby was here??? and she still is but i duno whether can i meet up with ehr >.<
took her around couple of places to .. yes .. u got it.. EAt!!!!! we just stroll around the city .
SAT NIGHT WAS CRAZEE FUNNY!!
met up wit jon and my sis .. we went for vegetarian pizza!!!! mmm.. yummmmm .. *it is entirely up to ur interpretation* jon was dreading his taugei pizza and my sis found it extremely healthy. me? in between.. but surely was AWESOME experience though!!! :D even cooler! after tat. we headed home.. and ... WE MADE KAYA!!!!
liz joined us! 4 of us .. facing the pot of kaya!! my goodie .. FOR 3 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how could a BOWL OF KAYA possibly took us tat long!!! we were laughing our ass off to things tat i couldnt even remember and singing along to the good old boy bands!!!! hahaha.. we were working hard k? we had our hands moving.. mashing the kaya in order not for it to be lumpy! hahha. it was funny. by the end of it .. WE WERE TOTALLY DRAINED!

sunday was AWESOME! being with the kids make me a VERY-EXTREMELY-HAPPY MUNYEE :D

service was fantastic. but i think i'm seemingly becoming unfit!! i cant keep up with the jumping and all.. i found myself puffed out!!! OH NO!!!!! but still .. HE is worthy of ALL my praise!

God is so good to me!
He never fails to drop reminders of things i need to do and things He promised!
Peninsula. Nursing. Yes. He has been tat specific. i was like deakin? ACU? la trobe? nope. he said no. oh well. peninsula then!
and truly enough, He will carry me through it!!

Jamie shared this and i couldnt stop thinking about it twice.
She had always wanted to be a lawyer but somewat somehow.. along the way, her dreams was shattered and she tot tat it was something that was impossible to be reached. her heart was hardened to it and everything near it just seemed to be a no-no! so .. yea.. but God opened up the doors for her and she will soon be on her way to a new start dropping and leaving everything behind.

EVERY IS POSSIBLE. IF ONLY YOU BELIEVED.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

DEATH AND AFTER

i couldnt believe how much actually tat i am affected by it! REALLY!!! >.< today my housies and i attended liz's granduncle, uncle jimmy's funeral. he was a kind and generous man, invited us to have dinner at his place prior to our moving in and even allowing me to make MY OWN ice kacang with his very own ice-shaving machine. those with him was a mere accquantance, but the thought of someone you know passing over can be quite .. perplexing. why? cos i'm sad, happy, worried, thankful, intimidated, unprepared, spinning in thoughts, tearful, comforted, disturbed, shocked, hopeful and uncertained.
Come on! it's death and separation we're talking about here!

Knowing tat he has gone to heaven comforts me and i'm glad that he is truly at a better place. At times, i really want God to take me there too.. but tat's such an embarassing selfish thought. what about others? dont they deserve a chance to know Jesus and knowing how to get to heaven? - through the Son of God- but anywayz .. i was utterly swimming in my seas of thoughts during certain parts of the service. you know? i was wondering..
What will happen during my funeral?
Will people cry?
Who would be there?
Who will deliver the eulogy?
What are they gonna say?
What will happen to the people i love?
What if someone close to my heart is taken away?
What will my response be?
Will i be able to take it?
Where will they go?
Am i accountable for them?
What can i do to make a difference?

At that very moment, i cried out to God, God, have mercy on the those who havent gotten to know You. I just cant bear loosing them eternally. God, i dun wanna just loose them forever and please save them.

Last night i was talking to my neighbour. he commented, "life's short. live it." yes. indeed it is. well .. he was actually trying to get me to drink but .. nope.. i'm a good girl!! hahahha *proud*. anywayz.. i was standing in church, some very far distance away from the casket, looking around at the family members and frens.. as they spoke, tears were rolling down and sniffing could be easily heard. not just that. you could hear the sound of memories reflecting, you hear the sound of people missing their beloved fren and you could note that some part of the family's life is taken away..

seriously, what is grieving? what is it to loose someone? i never really understood. i thank God tat this is the first funeral that i formally attended from the very beginning of the service to the very end.
for me, if pictures could capture it, i would say it's the breakout of tears behind shut doors.
it's the crying out to God not in complaints, but in praises, for putting that special someone in our lives
it's the expression on your face when your heart just shatters in disbelieve but knowing that it has become a fact.
it hurts and no matter how hard we try to cover it, it reveals itself.

during the service, liz broke out into tears. daniel, being the loving brother reached out to her, placing her close in his arms. looking at them from a row behind, my heart was SO touched and it was shattered. prior to tat, i had tears in my eyes during the eulogy. yet this moment of brother and sisterly love was the one thing that warm up my heart when i tot tat it was harden and cold for.. well not crying during funerals? i know it's dumb but it was my first time attending one k?

our journey back was filled with complete silence. no one knew how to break it. it was solemn.
only till we reached home tat i realised tat liz's granddad passes away too. only then tat i realised why she cried. i was in disbelief and though i'm no way close to it, but i can imagine her pain. i hugged her tight. tat poor girl and i went up to my room.

i couldnt understand it myself either but i was crying. i asked God, why so many deaths now? heard of 4 already. i duno wat to do to help liz or how to comfort her but just to pray for her. can someone teach me how to love? really. i feel so bad just shutting each other away in our own area of thoughts. i hate my cowardly self! useless! ISHHH

but yea. just thinking .
life's short. true. what do you do with it tat matters. yesterday urban life watched this video. it says that God will send a few warning signs before letting you go. has it struck you yet? any of these? has it struck you yet before you continue to walk into the path of eternal destruction?

1stly. preaching. doesnt hit you?
2ndly. your conscience. wondering bout hte voice in you? this is it!
then it's a mother's prayer.
tragic sorrowful events. dont wait till someone precious leaves that you realise there's an empty void in your heart.
then Holy Spirit and the cross comes before you places yourself in destruction.

but i mean come on!!! we have feelings and emotions. dont wait till it's too late to realise life is temporary. cherish it! sounds cliche i know. tat's not my main point anyway. what i wanna say is.. dont you realise that there's more to life after death?

actually.. i duno wat i'm saying. but think about it.

Monday, July 23, 2007

SEMESTER 2 is really.....

well.. seriously, i think sem 2 is REALLY HARD. i dun like it. i was on the verge of freaking out mann! seriously!! i really need God's grace and His strength to pull through the rest of this year. missing the first week of uni definitely wont brighten the situation!!! *gulps* MY GOODNESS!! with all the action potential, mircoelectrode and all is killing my brain cells! ARGHHH i cant wait to do NURSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant wait for next year! but i shall perservere! C'mon!!!!!!

So.. what have i been up to recently? since i came back.

i had been feeling lots of ting-a-lings in me. i duno what they are.. but honestly.. they aint tat great. they hurt. i am caught between 2 sides. both great stuff but which is meant for me?
i read this in my devotion.
in my own phrase : "Certain opportunities are great and splendid, but they may not be God's will for you."
wat does it mean? perhaps it's time to let go.

HAve i been in my own coccoon for too long that i failed to see that there's light ahead of me or was it just a faint torch that was a false alarm? will i stretch and breakaway of my enclosure? will the day come?

YES and i cant wait.

on the other hand, i'm very in the roll for random stuff!!
REALLY.
i think i caught it when i was with my jimuis, jo and joel the yap!
apart from havin pizza at my touchdown (come on! i dun really miss melbourne food, do i?) and PUTTING in great effort in unpacking and tidying up my room, everything else was pretty random.
going up to mt dandenong just to have afternoon tea and for the sake of doing smtg random!! o.O
watching shrek the third after sooooo.... long
being in a testimony video shoot
praying for meaningful relationship during prayer meet?!!
having boss sitting in my lecture

wow. i am getting more and more random!! but u know wat?? i'm loving the spontaneity and LOATHING THE TIME THAT I JUST WASTE BY PROCRASTINATIN'!!!!!! really. i miss my random kaki!

above all, i am missing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this song really gave me a wake up call this noon when i was so alone at home and sooo bored.


IF WE ARE THE BODY - CASTING CROWNS-


It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in
Trying to fade into the faces
The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat
And quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances
Are better out on the road

CHORUS
But if we are the Body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the Body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the Body of Christ

If we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching
Why aren't His hands healing
Why aren't His words teaching
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going
Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus is the way


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

whinging complaining doubting procrastinating
ignoring pretending dreaming
DOESNT CHANGE A SINGLE THING
listen and do!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

NEW SEM :)

i'm back in melbourne and all i wanna do now is to pray. God has truly been working in opening my eyes to see at how amazing He can thread things together and change a piece of rug into an embroidery masterpiece. God is SOOOOOOOOO great :D that no mountains that He cant carry me through!

Dear God,
I'm back in Melbourne now and i wanna thank you for all the things that you're about to do. Lord, you are the alpha and the omega. you have all things in stored. God, i thank you so much for telling me to go back and then widening up my narrow view of you. God, thank you for the people you've carefully placed into my life. Lord, thank you for who you are and i thank you for just caring and being so real to me! Jesus, i am in a vvery perplexed mood now. God, some part of me is happy to be back and some part of me, not. God, now, there's this tingling sense of regret in me for not really accomplishing wat i have initially set out to do during my holz - to share your love. God, please dont just pass my loved ones by. God, please dont forget my country and the people. Lord, please, teach me wat would you do. Lord Jesus, thank you so much for the awesome memories that i had in my span of 3 weeks in malaysia. Father, thank you for those heart warming days that all the shortcomings dont matter anymore. God, thank you for my family. Father, please dont forget them! God, i am sorry that at times i am so rebellious, so selfish and so self-centered. Lord, i'm so sorry that at times at home, i failed to reflect you. Jesus, all i want to do is worship and radiate your glory. Hope that my family, (papa, mummy, lokyee, chongfoo,aunties and cousins) will come to experience Jesus and be truly in awe of Him. And Father, thank you for sending me back for the sake of renewing old friendships. Jesus, thank you for the times when the most random thing would occur. Lord, thank you for friends who made me laugh my head off and frens who will wipe my tears when i'm undergoing some issues. Thank you for the 3-some! God, there's so much more i wanna say. but my eyes are shutting! literally. please give me the strength to carry out your will. in my life,everyday, to glorify you. God, grant me life that is filled with everlasting joy, love for others. JESUS, NEW SEM, more exciting things to come. stir me up Lord.

In Jesus name,
Amen.

Monday, July 16, 2007

SUPER belated planetuni photos!

sorry it took me tat long!










BELATED photos :D

APYAC












THE HUMAN RACE IS A COMPLICATED ONE!!

seriously. i think i am so annoying! and it can get into my nerves at times!! >.< haha. well .. EVERYTIME actually. when my holz are about to come to an end. i'm SO AWAKE NOW! it's like wat? 1.30am! way past my bed time! haha. perhaps it was the nap in the noon that did it. but yea. today as i was in the car. so many things came into my head.

i am sad.
yes. i am sad.

i am sad that my holz are ending and there's nothing much that i can do about it.
i am sad to leave but on the other hand, i am sad that i am missing melbourne. i am never a TRULY there person. sad.
i am sad to say goodbye and hello to a new semester. yes. i am lazy.. hee :P

but yea. dont you think human race is such a complicated and unappreciative one? for i know for me, i truly am and sometimes i just wanna give myself a smack at the head for being so! :P i really DISLIKE myself for only when i was about to leave, then i regret. this weekend was AWESOME.

love doing random and spontaneous things :D :D they make my heart smile :D

kite hunt.
witness robbery >.< *gasp*
flying kite.
craving for cendol.
posing in front of a mac.
having forced to sit down during steamboat. EH!! MANA BOLEH!! knowing me?! :P
mamaking with parents at 1+??? with my eyes like 2 thin lines.
the breakdown of junhui's car.
playing uno-stacko and uno cards.
eating durians with both friends and family!

WOOT! wat else could make life more colourful? i love my family and friends. God IS SO great to me :D

just when i tot i'm used to farewells and goodbyes, all these made it so much harder. YOU CRAZY people made it so much harder!! >.<

i miss my guided ikea tour. he is one person whom i went out with, with NOT EVEN ONE MINUTE OF SILENCE!!! fuiyoh.

oh yea. i was saying. if you know that you were going to die the next moment, wat would you do.
well, actually i would be rather glad. cos i know tat i'll be going to heaven. i even dreamt of it!! hahaha :P it was FUNNY!! :O but yea. it was actually a very selfish thought. initially, i tot of calling the people i love and tell them i love them. but after long considerations, i tot tat was really a wasted act of time and opportunity. i know it may be hard and things are are easier said than done but i would be praying my guts out and trying as hard as i can, to lead the person next to me to heaven as well :D yea. tat's wat i've decided to do with the remaining moments of my life :D

please usb, please turn up! apparently it's called a thumbdrive instead. ok thumbdrive, please show urself. u've gotten all the photos i wanna share !!! GOD!! where is it? :P

DADDY!!!! here i am!! i would try my best to take the less taken track.

yerrrrr... a month HAS REALLY PASSED BY SO SO FAST. but i'm so glad that God has sent me back and opened up my hearts to so many new stuff!!!! :)

the other day, ps julie asked this. if you were able to change one thing in hte past. wat would it be?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

THOUGHTS THAT PERHAPS CAN BE CONSIDERED AS REVELATIONS!!!!

i realised something . i blog a lot less during holz! when i should be blogging the most.. as a form of keeping a diary of what i'm doing!!! >.< but somehow .. somewat.. they dont happen! and by the end of the holz.. i'll be full-on reflecting on what i have done and what memorable things occurred! my my!

well . u know wat? can i stir u up to keep a DAILY diary. write it before u sleep. everyday. and write one once a week. compare the difference! well . in 10 years time. u'll see! u'll prolly laugh at yourself for being so innocent and naive. for me, i'll literally LAUGH OUT LOUD at my stupidity and how immature i was! but SURELY those memories are priceless!!!

anyhoo.. as i was saying.. i had revelations!! haha .. well , maybe.

joanne enlightened me one thing that .. which made me go.. YEA! it is so true!!!
what is it? well.. it is just the simple fact tat this is my blog and i can REALLY be free and write what i feel like!! since i duno when.. i have been very conscious of what i write here! seriously. i have stopped posting my heart-felt expressions and was surpressing myself for the sake of all those UNKNOWN and silent readers!!! (i dun even know who. but you know who u are out there!!! nyeh nyeh nyeh*) it can be scary at times you know.. exposing yourself and completely being vulnerable to the world full of .. everything.. out there. the thought of closing and shutting down my blog always sneak into my puny brain :P but i know that on the other hand.. this is such an awesome media for me to share my life with those i care and love!! and knowing me.. this it the best and most reasonable excuse that i can give for not replying ppl's mail. haha :P and also .. somehow.. i believe it will speak to people and hopefully put a SMILE on ppl's face. so.. i'm hanging on. well. i must confess that at times.. especially now. i do enjoy bloggin!! and tat's "munyee's happy moment" plagiarising transformers! :P haha

but yea. jo said something which is so true. your frens will understand you and respect what you choose to blog. after reflecting on certain misunderstanding, i used to think ..that i ought to be completely and utterly CAREFUL of what i'm bloggin about and who. i dare not just say something that i really wanna express deep down inside in the fear that i may arouse jealousy in some other person and letting them wonder whether i love them less. am i making sense here? hahhaa :D but well .. jo said smtg very true :D she gave an ANALOGY, an example of my ji mui! she said.. u reckon charis or jiayee will be jealous if u decided to dedicate a post for jiamien.

first reaction of mine : NO!

exactly. true frens will understand and accept me. THEY DONT STALK ME! :P hahahahhaha. kidding kidding!!! :P u can surely stalk me. i dun really have anything to hide. apart from my fat rolls :P ahhaa .. but yea.. i was thinking. if i were to privatise my blog. who wont come into my mind to invite. who will. hmmm. i really dont know!! o.O but oh well. dont worry. i doubt i'll be privatising my blog. but yea. i've decided that i'm gonna write FREELY!!! :D YEA!.. so here's just the affirmations to those whom i havent or dont really mention in my blog. i just wanna affirm u guys that i do love you k?!!! i really really do!! :) :)

WELL..

now.. i just wanna .. i wanna i wanna ..i wanna say- boss n jo! u guys are truly truly amazing!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!! how cool is God bringing us together in such a special and divine way! thank you for accepting my all. even when i'm in the gross-est position of diarrhea and spiritually disgusting. thank you for shining Jesus and allowing me to lean on you both, when i'm not strong.

JI MUIs!!! wat more do i need to say. u know it all :) WE STAND THE TRIAL OF TIME AND DISTANCE! we are more than what meets the eye! WOOT!

and guess wat guess wat?? i was asking someone this question. if you were to die the next moment. what would you do? i knew i gave a stupid answer in the car. now i know wat exactly i wanna do. i'll share later. but yea. wat would you do?

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

current location : Mum's office
current craving : chicken rice!!!
currently feel like : DANCING (in my mum's office!!!) :D and WORSHIPPING
current desire : i phone
current thought : how is berwick like?
current discomfort : lausai? but God has healed me of it. so .. maybe nothing
current fear : the fact that time flies
current favourite colour : BLUE (as always)

currently as you can see. i'm bored.
short post. gotta go help mum out! any ideas on how to upload photos in bulk the fastest way? i've got tonnes!!!

by the way. my iphoto album has hit 10 thousand =)