Saturday, June 27, 2009

HELLO FROM WANGARATTA

Yes, i'm finally here! i still remembered the night when i found out i was allocated here and how my beloved housemate and sister were having a crack at it! I also remembered how God spoke to me to come and stuff. And well well well, can you believe it? i'm one week down and two more to go and soon enough, it'll be over!

So far, i'm digging it!

The place that i'm staying does feel heaps like boardo. communal kitchen and toilet, laundry and stuff like tat. 4 walls, wardrobe, table and chair. ahhh. good ol' time. and i figure some things are still the same in me, i havent grown much! it still kinda felt exactly the same as i felt the first time i left home. when i'm in my own room, i still feel rather miserable, the feeling of being alone and no close friends near u, aint good. aint good at all. companionship meant so much hey?
but i guess the one MAJOR difference was that i have God by my side. He is so good, never forsaken me. It felt so different when you start you day with him. He prepares my day and set it right.

In the hospital, i've been learning heaps. went in the wards for four days and i've been doing quite a fair bit. it started with a lil contending, like trying to balance out the technical stuff and wanting to see all the "cool" things, but then.. a day later, i realised wat's important aint the doing things on people part. it's the part where you get to talk to them and put a smile on them, making their pain more tolerable, or reduce it to 0! it's an amazing feeling when you get to know them, talk to them and just listen to them and sharing the honour of being part of their lives. It truly is a an honour.

Just like how people came into my life. I cant forget how awesome my first 2 nurses who looked after me last year! jo and carlie. i really missed them and kinda regretted that i did not get their contacts. but anwayy.. highlights from wangaratta so far.

went to cheese tasting
the last stand of ned kelly
taco night
finished a 1000 pieces puzzle
homesick
gave an injection
learning to depend more on God

i shall talk more next time.

ps. just watched raising helen on tv. i cried.

Monday, June 15, 2009

whilst i was in His arms, thanking Him, tears rolled down the corner of my eyes.
that adds another line to my tally crying myself to sleep this month

but deep down, i know
Jesus loves when there's still so much hurt.
Jesus loves, when there's still so much that i dont understand.
Jesus loves.
It's tears of gratitude. As long as my heart remains soft, these tears will never run dry, cos there's always things to be thankful for.






Can i choose to let go and say bye :] with a hope that you'll find someone better. i'm sorry

Sunday, June 14, 2009

I WILL BLESS THE LORD

When you think about how awesome God is, and how great His gracious hands are. u just cant help but thanking Him and being in awe in His mighty presence.

Today, at Planetkids, Ps Rob shared a lil and allowed us to publicly declare and thank God for things. anything.
it's awesome and so genuine as you start hearing the heart beat and the sincere "thank-you"s from the bottom of people's hearts.
It ranges from family, to ministry, friends to His things that make you smile.
God is always at work, always loving, always faithful, always reaching out to you.

as i'm sitting back on my bed now, typing this, i've got so many things to thank God for, from the simplest of things to the routine-everyday-life-repititive-taken-for-granted things.
for the hot warm sun, and the fog, wet winter
for the great joyous laughters, and the tough challenging pains.
for the most loving outstretched hands, to the most heartfelt hugs.
and just being able to breath and say your name.

GOD, thank you!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

pre-exams

in couple of hours time, i'll be on my first paper of the year. this year had truly whizzed by real quick and before i knew it. it's already mid-year. winter and its chill has already hit the streets.

i've been in a position now, where i dun really know what to do.
well, i know the very basic thing is - to trust God, believe that Jesus will come through.

i know he will. i dont doubt heaps. but the question for me is the issue of expectations. i dont really wanna go through this but i know it's totally self-inflict and yes, i think, i think too much. ya. and just within a minute, a ZILLION things will zoom into my head, like it or not. it could be of people, things i need to do, random thoughts and even things of the future.
no wonder i'm so easily overwhelmed.

but somehow i need to understand that God is still in control. God is still faithful and He is good.
i need to know that when i trust Him, He can and will work in the miraculous ways.
when i lift my hands up, and let Him do it, He will surprise me.

I just need to belief it from the bottom of my heart. There has never been such great doubt or testing in my heart before. it's a point where i know it in my head, but do i really belief in my heart. perhaps the fact that i dont see it yet or the fact that it's not hapenning yet kinda intensify my tot process. i dont know. but this exams feel so different. maybe God is just taking me on a deeper level of trust.
i know i dont wanna be an average student. i am sick and tired of the mediocre level of achievements. i know the same power that raised Christ from the dead is in me. i know i have all it takes.
i know. but why it is so hard to put it down into the real deal.
in a way, it's like moses of the holy ground. you know you're there. you know something off the supernatural is happening, but you just dont know how to react or how to tap into the source that is available right in front of you. perhaps i'm waiting on the clear instruction of God, "take off your shoes"
take off the stuff that has been hindering me off direct contact with God.
remove all the thoughts that come bombastically down on me, and just be saturated in His.
COME ON. get ready.

havent you already known that in His presence, there's everything? HE is forever faithful. He is forever good.

Come through again God.



ps. i dont wanna have leaky nose or any cough-running-nose-disease. get rid of it for me please God.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

the other day, when i was on the bus, i eavedropped into some other person's conversation. one of them is my coursemate, doing nursing.

My friend/ coursemate (P)
Another girl that she was talking to, assuming that she's doing the same course as well (J)

J- We nurses dont earn as much you know. Unlike the doctors.
P - Yea.. apparently physio's earn heaps too and their job scope is really good. They only work from 9 to 5
J - YEA! that's why i really wanna get hitched with either a doctor or physio once i get out there on the job.
I'm pretty set on it.



HHMMM. I couldnt stop laughing to myself. I always wonder if my guy would be a doctor or from the healthscience line.
HMMM

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

taking my position

i was on a podcast spree today.

whilst on the way back from peninsula, i had joyce meyers, jentezen franklin and GC to accompany me. it was AWESOME!!!
there's so much that i could grasp from the messages but i'll just share wat spoke to me the most. i love what joyce meyers said.

The battle is not ours to fight.
2 Chronicles 20:17
"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "

I've been hearing a lot of stipulations here and there. and as the mid year approaches, it got me thinking alot. about what have i done for the past 6 moths. and what could i do in the up coming months. perhaps its not the best time to do some reflection, especially when assignments and exams are round the corner and not to forget placements straight after.
perhaps like what chloe said, i do have a lot spinning in my head.
but i guess i'm just trying to max out my day with the things i can do, not just for myself but also for people and for God.

aikz. i duno.

i think i need some recap and reflection time with God and put myself in a position of ultimate surrender, giving all of myself to God.


somehow, this song came into my head tonight. TEEEHEHHE, enjoy the old school video. my sis n i cracked up laughing watching it!



God, take me home!

where the deers and the anthelop play...