it is annoying and depressing to me. i am trying to overcome it and i know that i definitely cant do this on my own. this is THE MOST DISASTEROUS thing that has ever happened but i know i can and i have to pull my acts together. it's truly by His Grace. i need it more than ever. DISCIPLINE, that's another key component that i need.
perhaps to you guys, it's nothing much. just another ramblings of hers. yes this truly is. so just let me do my thing!

ARGGGHHHH!!! i'm at the fatest stage of my life!! EVER! it is disgusting! >.< i have never seen the scale sway so much to the right side. it's gross.

i need to get serious and do something.
for those whose heads are saying " yea right mun yee, you're going to be bones and sticks if you go on a diet" can you please just keep them in your head. cos to me, i dont need the discouragement to GET A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! i need to get fit terribly much. to you, i may be normal or balanced. But this was not how i'm supposed to be. í've seen a healthier and fitter side of me and i'm really sick of how i am at my current stage.
yes. this is dealing with self-image. I know that I am created by God and i'm made perfect in His image. He created me well. Definitely! but i need to be disciplined as well. I've got to understand that my body is a temple for Holy Spirit and i need to keep it well :) i think this is also another season to show that God can really do anything!!!!

Ever since God knows when, the scale has just always been sky rocketting. it hardly go the other way, the preferred way. But, i really believe that God can help me with this. Seriously, some of you may even think that this is so silly. She's complaining about her gaining weight and there she goes, being super spritual, bringing God into the topic. YEA! I AM! cos, i've tried to loose the excess that i have with my own plans and strategies. i've tried!! but it's not working! and doing things on your own capability is so limited! it's so hard. i've learnt that i've gotta depend on God in EVERYTHING! and even in loosing weight. yeap. i'm dead serious!

i know this is gotta do with self-image, self-esteem and all that. perhaps, i am at the stage of bad judgement and placing high expectations on myself. I know i'm blessed enough to have certain things. but this is not what i'm after. I know and i've seen myself better. This is about discipline.
This is also about trusting God in every single aspect of my life. even the most ridiculous one - loosing weight.

i know He can help me! and just you weight (wait). when the testimony comes, i'll share with you how i did it and what's the plan that you could go on k/ dont worry, i'm not going to starve myself. NO WAY! we'll see alright/!