CLINICAL PLACEMENT no.1

i had my placement yesterday. less towards the academical side now. i've gotta journal it as my homework later. in all, it was good. i went on the ambulance, went on the road with the crew and really got to see REAL stuff happening! seriously.. i think i've been in such a blessed situation and the worst thing was that i never really appreciate them and have been taking them for granted. going out on this placement really got me thinking a lot. a lot about me and life and people and God.

prior to it, i was really nervous. i was SCARED! all i could do is just to ask God to prepare me and look after me. got heaps of ppl praying for me. thanks jo. u know how much it meant to me rite?

i was really afraid that i'm going to come across death face to face. well, if you're not sure wat my job is, i'll tell you now. being a paramedics is going on EMERGENCY situations in light of easing that situation. where people draw the line and consider an "emergency" however, may vary. yet, could you see the picture i'm painting? i would be out on the road, on my FIRST observer shift, handling people with pain, uneasiness, trauma or medical conditions and perhaps, even death. can u imagine that? i never really thought how serious it could be until this week. IT'S REAL HUMAN BEING LIFE THAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE! you are expected to do something when emergency come. public expects you to carry hope and life. i know where it comes from. but i'm scared. i was very scared to get a cardiac arrest or a code 0 - death. i mean i do wanna open up my perspective and learning experiences but i was caught in the dilemma. i just couldnt get over the fact that it's a SOMEBODY and a SOMEONE we're resusitating. the patient there is someone's beloved, ok?! most importantly, God's. i dun wanna imagine the pain and emotions the family and friends who have to go through if indeed such case happen.

thank God, i didnt get a code 1 - immediate life threat. some of the students may be all disappointed that nothing "interesting" happen. yea, getting a code 1 is indeed interesting and eye opening and exciting. but hey.. it's a person we're talking about here! once we lost him, then we're completely separated then! how scary! imagine being on the person's shoes!!


anyway, in my shift of 7 hrs, i was out seeing 3 patients. 1st was abdominal pain, 3rd was a lady with hip injuries. the second patient ... she broke my heart. suffering from breast cancer, she called in for help cause she had problems with her breathing. her condition has metaphysised to her lungs and bones. it is in a very advanced stage. it was my ultimate first time seeing a person going through cancer. i was astound. she must have had gone through so much. her eyes, her hair loss, her body giving in told me how much she had gone through. the fact that she's still very young and would perhaps have a brighter future if she's healthy adds more to the greyness of this matter. it's as though she tries fighting but yet knew that her body gave in. i duno. i didnt even really dare to talk much to her cause i'm just so taken aback by seeing the first person in the most vulnerable state of fighting cancer. her parents were on the scene when we arrived. i was so sad seeing them. parents will always be parents. when your child is sick, it hurts them more. wat more a cancer that turned into a dreadful secondary one. it was sad and i didnt know wat to do or wat to say. i could only say a prayer for her in my heart and await for God's healing touch.

it got me thinking alot. what are we doing with our lives here? are we making a stand? are we making an impact? somethings are in God's hand and it all happens according to His plans. i could only ask for His wisdom and annointing to be with me. yesterday reminded me of the value of life. life is short and it can be challenging. are you appreciating it? are you living to what God has called you to? it does not mean take out all the fun. it means know your purpose. shake the planet.


it was like an eye-opening experience to my shallow contended self-contained world. time to get up.