falling in love

i find that love and relationship is a topic that is never ending and people never get bored and sick of talking about it! personally, i lovvvee reading about how people fall in love or looking at the awesome photos that ant and jono take. it helps me paint my perspective of love and that love isnt all airy fairy, unobtainable but instead, i see and know how love is really all around!

God has been opening my eyes to alot of things and i simply love it!

currently, i feel like i'm on a path where it's time for me to dig deeper and let my roots grow further in the things of God. i know that i am walking in my prophetic destiny! this is the season where i duno where i'm heading but i know God is in control and he is leading the way. it's awesome u know, that everyday, you get up and the God of heaven and earth has your day planned out! Surprises are around the corner! mann. how awesome is that!

but anway, not so much about me. i've been having 3 weeks break currently and i have the priviledge of catching up with people. and the greatest thing is that i am approached by people this time! i wasnt the one asking people out and going hey u wanna catch up. instead the other party thought of me! <3
i love our conversations and i love being able to impart into these people. i love hanging out with old friends and seeing how far we've come after all these years. when i do take the time to reflect and think about such things, mann, i'm overwhelmed by the people i'm surrounded with. it encourages me!

recently, my best friend was going through a hard time. and i just found out. my fault for not keeping in touch. but i love how God strings things together. everything that i had been through in the past, big and small now comes into perspective. I spoke to her and encouraged her. i included God in the picture in everything to let her know that God is always there! always in the picture. i know she is hurting real bad at the moment and i prolly couldnt relate as well to her pain but i know God can! i know i can just be a friend and cheer her on. i know i can be an Aaron and help her lift up her hands when they're tired.
i reckon this is the kinda friendship and relationship that God intended us to be in. to love one another and to encourage one another!

so many things are happening around me, but at the moment, i am just falling more in love with Jesus. and i want you to see His love too!

pkids discipleship was off the hook. i learnt about the power of encouragement and i myself recieved loads today.

HEbrews 4:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

your words have the power to break and heal over the hurts and wounds inflicted by negative words. your encouragement can shift the person's perspective. And the bible says to do it daily.

i love getting encouragements! i love getting pats on the backs and hugs saying that i'm a champ! but above all, i love encouraging people! i love it when they say that it makes sense and is exactly what they need. i love being used by God to speak of the right words at the right time.

seriously, God is just so good that He hasnt forgotten about YOU! He watches over you all the time and craves for your love and attention.



ps rob asked an intriguing question today - what would you do if you knew you wouldnt never fail?

:)

You never fail to put a smile on my face!

i love youuuu!

A weekend Like no other

When it's a good weekend, or when u know that u've had a good time, you'll know it! And this weekend was just rocking and there's just so much thankfulness and gratitude in my heart that it's overfilled with joy. Tmr, it's time to spread those joy to my kiddies n also those that I'll meet!! Oh yea! I'm excited!!!

Anway, before I get too sidetracked, I'll just quickly share what happened.

Honestly, I think my weekend just keeps getting better and better ever since kidshaper. Praise Gor friendship and just being so good to me! I duno if u've ever had this feeling - that things just seemed so good that you could actually withdraw yourself from reality, and take upon a third person point of view n ask yourself, is this real?! What I did today and the happiness i felt, real? Or like when it comes to the end of the day, u depersonalize(mental health term) hahahhahaaha n reflect on how good it has been? Ur heart overwhelms!
That was what I felt.

I finally sleptover @ li's hse on Friday. Those who don't know, I insist on sharing a single bed with her. And we must have seperate blankets each cos I'm a blanket-snatcher in the middle of the night. But i simply lovee hanging out with this chick!

This weekend so far, I've learnt a few new things bot myself and I just can't stop reflecting bout my perspective on friendship. ( typing on iPhone is soo mega challenging)
anyway, I've known that I'm sentimental but I realize that there R certain things that I've never actually let go. Especially when it comes to friendship. I realized that I still hold on to the past and have never really grasped the concept of moving on. I think it could still be jpainful for me. I know for my own benefit N also for the person on the other end, it's actually a good thing! I mean i know the reality that life goes on whether you like it or not. But I think I'm quite stubborn in the sense that I belive something ought not to be changed! Relationships are one of them. Not to say that u stay stagnant, bt I meant thAt u're not supposed to move backwards. I duno but I found out that for some specific people, though they moved on n we barely see each other, I'll still hold on real tight on what we shared before. Yeaa. I guessed we've moved on but I still hold on to what we had and will fight real hard to keep this friendship going. Idunno if I'm making sense. But u know what, even as I watched UP today with ant (awesome show! Highly recommended in 3d) I realized that perhaps God is also telling me to let go of the past and move on.
I guess it's time for me to say "thank you for the adventure. And now go have some new ones".

I'm not saying that it's to ditch all my friends or just leave everything n turn a new page. No! I'm saying, some things had occured for us to grow together, so that when we grow old, we can have a good laugh togehter!! Hahaha. Yeaa. And some things happen to test how strong we really are. But you know what, some happen just so that you can see that there are treasures around you, every day and every moment. So that you can journey on and start your adventure with these people around you. Sometimes, all we need to do is just to look and embrace. Don't worry about what others may say or think. Don't stews about passing comments like you're always busy and always not at home. Heck, it's my life and I'm ever only gonna live today once. I'm ever only gonna have this minute once and it'll be gone n dotted in history. Yes. I used to be affected lots by passing comments, and I used to justify situations. But this weekend, I realized that This truly is my life And the life that God has given me. I am gonna live it to the fullest and do what God has called me to(even though lots oftimes it's scary and require stepping out). Still. It's a life worth living. I think I'm discovering mire about this more to life life that God wants me to live. I know it's basic life lesson 101.
But when u actually understand it. Goodness!


I can't thank God enough for the friends that I have around me and also those that shared and are still sharing this journey with me. Whichever stage n phase we are in, I want you to know that I hold on very dearly all the memories we shared.

Sassy,
I love how even though things aren't exactly the same as it used to be as when we first met, I know that I can still cuddle next to you and just be comfortable and be loved. I love u and am so definitely hogging ur bed again!

Ant,
I simply enjoy ur company!! Simple as that but u know it goes far beyond yea? Look forward to adding more pages to our adventure book. I'll be Russell n u can be Carl! (since u say u're old) hahaha

1st post from Iphone

Just have a quick 15 mins before I had to go for another class. Am at caufield at the moment and. I think I just witnessed one of the saddest thing that could happen to a girl.

I was at the corner happily minding my own business, thinking of when to eat my crossaint when I saw this. Well, for all u know it could just be my imagination and none of these actually happened as what I thought itwas.

They were on a bench under the big tree.
He had his legs crossed while she faced the tar roads
her eyes were red and they barely spoke.

I walked past them wondering why the still silence.




...

I turned my head around and he stood up.
No goodbyes no hugs, he just walked off while

She sat on the bench, with her black jacket, staring at the black tar road.


If ur imagination were as wild as mine, we could perhaps swapped stories! But after seeing how he left her, in that manner, my heart broke. I wasn't too sure if it was just a normal goodbye. I paced up and down the walkway two or three times, trying to grab a glimpseof the girl from the back, just to check that she is ok.

Part of me was like move on. None of ur business anyway.
Part of my heart sunk, fearing that wat I imagined would have actually been her most dreaded reality.

The walkway btw gym n lib never seemed so long. Well, at least, I've never turned around, walked up n down so many tomes! )



finally, i decided to turn around and just to check on her to see that she was ok. but then .. she's already left. i wonder what happened to her


in that moment, i felt the pain of broken relationships. it scares me a little and made me question if i would ever be ready. and all the questions regarding the right man.. blah blah blah.


MAN! stop breaking people's heart! haha.

but you know what, i know relationships can be scary, but i still believe in love.




We love, because He first love us.
God, help us to recognise the brokeness in this world and overcome it with Your love.

one touch from heaven

I'm sorry about the previous emo post. i was truly down that time. and i just wanna show people the reality of life, the reality of being a Christian. We do get challenges too and we do feel down and hit a few dead ends here and there. but i know,

my God is still faithful.

I know that there will come a point of time, where i can be picked up and stand on my feet, giving him praise again!

I know that all along the way, God has been always there cheering me on and never giving up on me. I know that my issues are dead tiny compare to others but hey, i have emotions too and nothing takes more out of me than being drained emotionally. i was chugging along, trying to do my thing. Times of giving up and throwing in came into my thought, somehow, the fact that i have witnessed God's goodness refrained me from surrendering to the world. I know that Jesus has more and better things that the world could offer. I know that His love is real and His love is so powerful that it breaks all yoke.

i dont really know what it was that kept me going, but i persevered. and i'm glad i did!!
God actually has a bigger and better plan for me. He's just waiting around the corner and waiting to surprise me.

At camp, i felt His touch like never before. it was like electricity, so tenancious, so powerful, so intense. there's no one exact word for it! I've heard heaps about heaven colliding with earth. i've seen it in planetkids where it happened to my kiddies. but that night, it happened to me. I knew that God had positioned me in camp, spoke into my heart and after surrendering everything to Him at his feet (during kidshaper) He has propelled me forward and BANG! a powerful touch of God hit me.

honestly, i didnt know what happened or what it meant. i just know that God is there and He touched me. He affirms things that i felt in the spirit. things that i'm sure of and things that i'm not sure of. He's there to care and just gently pushes my back, nudging me forward. i can hear him say "come on, that's it! come on! " AHH He's just so good!
and guess what - that's my Dad! i'm just falling more and more in love with Him!!! <3




Jesus,
it's such a priviledge to be used and to witness your power touching people and transforming lives. Thank you for not giving up on me when i thought i wouldnt be able to do it anymore. Thank you for mending the broken hearts and the past hurts. I know now, truly that You alone are good enough for me. please continue to grow me into what you want me to be. help me to walk in the power, authority and annointing that you have bestowed on me.
i love you.

and also, thank you. for the awesome people that You have placed in my life. thank you that you are doing an awesome work in them. please do more!
amen!


i'm missing camp already!!! i absolutely loved the powerpack weekend of fun, people and most of al, experiencing God! my urbies are awesome. the people i met are so cool. i cant wait for more of Jesus!!!

Thanks for breaking my heart so effortlessly. Thank you for helping m realize that I am so small. Thank you for making me stronger and helping me to realize that I can actually be so insignificant. I thought we were close and I thought you care. Obviously I was in my own lil buble And clearly my dream was just fantasy. Thanks for the invitation, I hear your laughter and I only longed to be a joiner.

I hate I love you.
I hate how I can't be mad at u
I hate I tried so hard to be loved
I hate how I can't cry out loud
I hate how things are and you prolly never realize a tad bit. Or perhaps all these rubbish are just mere thoughts that plagued my mind?
I dunoo

but you know wat? Thank u for teaching me that I can't always run n hide. Thank u for teaching me and putting me in a position thAt I can do nothing bit cry out to God. Thank u for not always being there when I needed cos through tough moments like these, I've learn to turn to my heavenly Father.

I wonder what next yr holds for us but watever it is, with or without me, you'll do great.
All the best

cry

i was flickering through facebook during my dinner break. yes. at the moment i'm ploughing through my assignment. i should be focusing. as i was jumping from one page to another, i was reminded of certain things in the past. some things that used to be so precious and now probably amount to dust because of three convenient words - "we've moved on".
i wonder why it hurts now. it made me wanna cry.

on the other note, do you know how much it breaks God's heart when you cry yourself to sleep? i cried myself to sleep tonnes of times and yesterday, ps rob said that - and i dun feel so alone anymore.

you know for sure that there's something you need to do about it when your pastor talks to you!

deeper

Beautiful Women's coming up. In less than 24 hrs actually.

i tried to embed it in this but couldnt. so you'll just have to click onto this link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3dqiWK2XbY


I know this again will be an awesome encounter with Jesus.
I know i can approach His throne room and He'll be there, never too busy for me.
I know He will hold my hand and the hands of those who need His touch

How sweet is that when He calls you the apple of His eyes
Zechariah 2:7
for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye

but as i sit down and think, i dont know what to ask from God. i dont know what to expect.
well,
i guess i wasnt too greedy.. all i want is summed up in a word -"MORE"

Jesus, i want more. i want to know you more. i wanna love more.
more of You.

cant wait for church tmr!

i can feel the excitement!

i cant wait for church tmr. i know God's gonna move so powerfully and it's gonna be AWEEESOMME. woo hoo!!

Jesus, do what you wanna do. for me, i just wanna love you more.



our God is love.

蒲公英的约定

将愿望折纸飞机寄出信
因为我们等不到那流星
等枕头坠离命运的引力
却不知道到底能去哪里

已经长大的约定 那样清晰
拿过到的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今 唯一坚持的任性

我去到哪里你都跟很紧
哼歌而梦在等待着惊喜

已经长大的约定 那样珍惜
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清 你是友情
还是错过的爱情

what do you do

what do you do
when giving up is the easier option
and hiding is the more secure sense?

what do you do
when you are called to lead and carry miracles
but all you see is sickness and disease?

what do you do
when you know you're loved
but the love seemed so far?

what do you do
when someone said they care
but they havent even make to drop a line?

what do you do
when you get mad at the one who knows you best
when you get angry for no apparent reason

what do you do when you know you cant do anything?
what do you do?

give me some local analgesics.
peth, morph me up.

beyond my eyes.

That was the theme song that Ps Rob repeating played during camp red. It was just so amazing and God just moved so powerfully. Kids are all stepping up to the next level and operating in a new annointing. its mind blowing! have you seen kids praying for each other and leaders on the last day? kids taking more of a part in the service rather than leaders? oh my goodness!
Holy Spirit is just sooo there! I went there, and i felt as though i'm recieving more than i'm serving. it's odd. but it's good :)

3 more shifts and i'm home.
i dont exactly know how i'm feeling at the moment.

HELLO FROM WANGARATTA

Yes, i'm finally here! i still remembered the night when i found out i was allocated here and how my beloved housemate and sister were having a crack at it! I also remembered how God spoke to me to come and stuff. And well well well, can you believe it? i'm one week down and two more to go and soon enough, it'll be over!

So far, i'm digging it!

The place that i'm staying does feel heaps like boardo. communal kitchen and toilet, laundry and stuff like tat. 4 walls, wardrobe, table and chair. ahhh. good ol' time. and i figure some things are still the same in me, i havent grown much! it still kinda felt exactly the same as i felt the first time i left home. when i'm in my own room, i still feel rather miserable, the feeling of being alone and no close friends near u, aint good. aint good at all. companionship meant so much hey?
but i guess the one MAJOR difference was that i have God by my side. He is so good, never forsaken me. It felt so different when you start you day with him. He prepares my day and set it right.

In the hospital, i've been learning heaps. went in the wards for four days and i've been doing quite a fair bit. it started with a lil contending, like trying to balance out the technical stuff and wanting to see all the "cool" things, but then.. a day later, i realised wat's important aint the doing things on people part. it's the part where you get to talk to them and put a smile on them, making their pain more tolerable, or reduce it to 0! it's an amazing feeling when you get to know them, talk to them and just listen to them and sharing the honour of being part of their lives. It truly is a an honour.

Just like how people came into my life. I cant forget how awesome my first 2 nurses who looked after me last year! jo and carlie. i really missed them and kinda regretted that i did not get their contacts. but anwayy.. highlights from wangaratta so far.

went to cheese tasting
the last stand of ned kelly
taco night
finished a 1000 pieces puzzle
homesick
gave an injection
learning to depend more on God

i shall talk more next time.

ps. just watched raising helen on tv. i cried.

whilst i was in His arms, thanking Him, tears rolled down the corner of my eyes.
that adds another line to my tally crying myself to sleep this month

but deep down, i know
Jesus loves when there's still so much hurt.
Jesus loves, when there's still so much that i dont understand.
Jesus loves.
It's tears of gratitude. As long as my heart remains soft, these tears will never run dry, cos there's always things to be thankful for.






Can i choose to let go and say bye :] with a hope that you'll find someone better. i'm sorry

I WILL BLESS THE LORD

When you think about how awesome God is, and how great His gracious hands are. u just cant help but thanking Him and being in awe in His mighty presence.

Today, at Planetkids, Ps Rob shared a lil and allowed us to publicly declare and thank God for things. anything.
it's awesome and so genuine as you start hearing the heart beat and the sincere "thank-you"s from the bottom of people's hearts.
It ranges from family, to ministry, friends to His things that make you smile.
God is always at work, always loving, always faithful, always reaching out to you.

as i'm sitting back on my bed now, typing this, i've got so many things to thank God for, from the simplest of things to the routine-everyday-life-repititive-taken-for-granted things.
for the hot warm sun, and the fog, wet winter
for the great joyous laughters, and the tough challenging pains.
for the most loving outstretched hands, to the most heartfelt hugs.
and just being able to breath and say your name.

GOD, thank you!

pre-exams

in couple of hours time, i'll be on my first paper of the year. this year had truly whizzed by real quick and before i knew it. it's already mid-year. winter and its chill has already hit the streets.

i've been in a position now, where i dun really know what to do.
well, i know the very basic thing is - to trust God, believe that Jesus will come through.

i know he will. i dont doubt heaps. but the question for me is the issue of expectations. i dont really wanna go through this but i know it's totally self-inflict and yes, i think, i think too much. ya. and just within a minute, a ZILLION things will zoom into my head, like it or not. it could be of people, things i need to do, random thoughts and even things of the future.
no wonder i'm so easily overwhelmed.

but somehow i need to understand that God is still in control. God is still faithful and He is good.
i need to know that when i trust Him, He can and will work in the miraculous ways.
when i lift my hands up, and let Him do it, He will surprise me.

I just need to belief it from the bottom of my heart. There has never been such great doubt or testing in my heart before. it's a point where i know it in my head, but do i really belief in my heart. perhaps the fact that i dont see it yet or the fact that it's not hapenning yet kinda intensify my tot process. i dont know. but this exams feel so different. maybe God is just taking me on a deeper level of trust.
i know i dont wanna be an average student. i am sick and tired of the mediocre level of achievements. i know the same power that raised Christ from the dead is in me. i know i have all it takes.
i know. but why it is so hard to put it down into the real deal.
in a way, it's like moses of the holy ground. you know you're there. you know something off the supernatural is happening, but you just dont know how to react or how to tap into the source that is available right in front of you. perhaps i'm waiting on the clear instruction of God, "take off your shoes"
take off the stuff that has been hindering me off direct contact with God.
remove all the thoughts that come bombastically down on me, and just be saturated in His.
COME ON. get ready.

havent you already known that in His presence, there's everything? HE is forever faithful. He is forever good.

Come through again God.



ps. i dont wanna have leaky nose or any cough-running-nose-disease. get rid of it for me please God.

the other day, when i was on the bus, i eavedropped into some other person's conversation. one of them is my coursemate, doing nursing.

My friend/ coursemate (P)
Another girl that she was talking to, assuming that she's doing the same course as well (J)

J- We nurses dont earn as much you know. Unlike the doctors.
P - Yea.. apparently physio's earn heaps too and their job scope is really good. They only work from 9 to 5
J - YEA! that's why i really wanna get hitched with either a doctor or physio once i get out there on the job.
I'm pretty set on it.



HHMMM. I couldnt stop laughing to myself. I always wonder if my guy would be a doctor or from the healthscience line.
HMMM