COUPLE OF CLARIFICATIONS

i've edited a bit on my previous post.. actually . only one sentence .. but just to clarify tat i'm not refering to an acquaintance when i mentioned "jack shit" cos i dun even know who tat person is .. but i just got so annoyed at her! :P oh well .. i'm not now .. it's all over and the skies are clear .. so ..yea..just clarifying tat .. :)

anywayz ... guys.. i know this is duno the zillion-th time i've mentioned this .. but yea .. so sorry tat i dun have credit to reply u guys .. not tat i dun want to .. but i really have no $$ *sound effects go kaching ching* .. i really want to .. but .. i cant.. >.< aikz .. who wouldnt not want support from ur beloved ones when u're facing stress and anxiety?? i really wish .....

ps./ can someone pls pass that msg to my dear kah ee and chern han :P but do say tat i still love them heaps tho :P

anywayz ..
time table for my midyear exam

monday - bio
tues - chem
wed - GAT

though i only have 3.. but trust me .. the feeling of wanting to do well in everything can seriously kill >.< but dun worry .. i've told myself not to pressure myself too much .. just giving my best shot in everything and every possible way i can approach :)





ur encouragement through times like this is highly valued :) just like how my sis is going through her exams now. . and how a talk can lift her spirit up :P *waves my hands like some dingdong * me too ..




till then .. adieus

BLOGS ARE SO DECIEVING!!!!!!!!!!!
tat's just a random tot..

anywayz.. kimchew came over to melbourne and this weekend was FANTASTIC for me.. nevertheless .. the same old thing always happen .. good times end so damn quickly!! >.< i hate how i can grab hold of a time machine like doraemon and the drawer that travels past time .. but anyhoo .. i had HEAPS of fun and hopefully kimchew will post the photos when he returns cos i should be rather busy lately! it's really nice to meet up and hang around with frens here .. especially when i dun get to see them often .. and being around them .. and having their presence .. is just so heart warming .. :) i'm a very sentimental and easily contented person you see :P .. but yea.. sometimes .. it's great to move out of the boarding hse at stressful times like this .. and have a place to clear my mind .. though it's short .. but indeed is very refreshing and uplifting .. giving me the motivation and energy to remind myself of who i really am ... laughther and stupid random stuff filled my friday and saturday .. but i surely am enjoying it till the fullest!!
big thank u to my dearest yeen for hosting me and as usual being my beloved ji mui, chuxiang for everything and his constant complains of being hungry (so tat i dun have to complain :p ), caleen for eating out with me and always making the right decision on where to eat, wei yue .. for the fantastic house-wife-ness ..or else i would ended up doing the chores :P .. gezzel for the marvellous effort of helping out .. and not to forget ..kimchew for being out guest and giving us an excuse to pull ourselves away from work

anyhoo! .. i dint just popped up the idea of blogs being so decieving .. it's just that things been happening and some aint pleasant stuff.. though i'm still caught inside the drums ... but yea.. i should remain neutral and not taking sides.. which i am doing ..but seriously.. blogs are so decieving.. and misleading!!! well .. i was gonna say tat people only post the happy side of them and hiding the sad sorrow away from the public .. (which i totally understand)... but tat aint true either ..
aikz .. i duno
blogs are just so .. weird?!

but i've got some stuff tat i seriously couldnt take my head off.. though i shud be using my time wisely and studying for my bio SAC next period but i just couldnt concentrate!! i know i shouldnt use this as some lame ass excuse..but yea!! .. i just couldnt get over it!!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's so freaking annoying!!!! but at least everything is ok now .. so .. no point of me bringing it up and causes more drama ..


anywayz .. tat jack shit deserve none of my time .. get back into ur work munyee!! (in case yeanzo and khooniez naima are wondering wat jack shit tat is.. i'm definitely not refering to u guys!!! i love u guys! )


ok .. now tat i've let it out .. back to studies
btw .. no credit to reply sms-es .. so sorry :P to all


exams coming up in a week .. for those who are enjoying ur holz back there.. have a great one .. A levels dudes .. work hard with me :)

i think quite some number of people misinterpreted my last post ..it's totally not a boy girl thingy .. but a platonic relationship problem but sincerely thank those who care :)
shen said my metaphor skills would be really good if it was a BGR thingy .. but then .. it's not a BGR thing .. thus .. it's not a metaphor .. so .. yalorrr.. :P i havent found a crush yet!! and i'm too occuppied for those kinda things :P so ..yea ..

anyhoo ..

good news..
i've found the strength and reason to smile again :)

though the problem still underlies out there .. somewhere .. and i'm like struggling from my disease .. but yea .. i'm getting better .. well .at least not gonna make myself worse... now tat i'm suffering from the consequences of crying too much .. my nose is blocked. . my throat is sore and i'm coughing!! awesome~ yup .. it was this that really hit me that i shall not let myself suffer anymore .. it's not worth it .. and going through these wouldnt make things better anywayz.. plus .. i'm going through a rather important time now .. with action jam pack tests and SACS coming up .. i cant physically afford to be sick~!! i need to get well ASAP!!!

but then .. i really thank god for what had happened to me for the past week .. it really has strengthened me and really made me grow .. both sideways and mentally .. cos i've been eating quite a lot to rid the stress you see.. :P and also made me appreciate certain people more :)

super duper BIG THANK YOU to chongshen my kamyu!! haha :P thanks for catching me from falling down to the deepest pit .. really really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart and u seriously have no idea how it changes me!! i feel so much better now :) though we are like continents apart .. really .. sincerely thank u!!!!!!! i love ya!! thanks for ur invisible hug :) :) :)

evil twin .. the sad moments are like gloomy clouds.. sometimes it cover ups your sun and turns the whole sky grey .. but after the rain .. the sun will be out again .. this time .. brighter and probably a rainbow round the corner.. good twin is recovering .. u too k??

boss .. thanks for the long sms :) i've got no credit .. cant reply ya!! but i will learn to strengthen up my heart and clear my mind.. thank you!! now.. i always tell myself to strengthen up my heart! look at ur impact~ :)

si keat .. thanks for the sms as well .. it's comforting to know tat u guys back home still care

pat boy boy .. dun worry bout me .. i'll get well soon .. HOPEFULLY .. u too take care k? i know u're stronger than me .. needs only 2days to recover.. good for u ..can go back to college and "gap lui" i'm still sick and i still need to attend 2 SACS tmr~ wish me luck and pray tat i dun faint in class tmr~ hehe :P nah .. i wont~ thanks for calling though .. i slept the whole of sat .. tat's y i was still awake tat late .. u're really inspiring and i love ya heapz!

yeanzo .. thank you for ur sms and email .. i know u read my blog :) dun worry bout the tag .. i'll reply ur email ASAP k?? i love u too~!!! i was wrecked .. but u guys lifted me up .. and baby .. i understand tat u're busy .. make sure u dun get too stressed too k?

suiyuan .. thanks for the sms and the email .. i guess u misinterpreted .. but thanks for the long advise .. i'm not into relationship ..though u're not the only who said like i sounded like a super heart broken person .. thanks for your concern and effort for emailing me .. appreciate tat dude~

jun hui .. haha .. funny dream tat u had .. made me laugh and even yeen laughed too when i told her bout ur dream of my sis working out with ur parents!! hehe :P but thanks for caring .. i'm free to talk whenever ur number appear on my phone's screen .. thank you for being such a loving ji mui :P heheeHEE

yeen .. sorry that i dint pick up ur call the first time .. my phone ran out of batt :P oopz .. but ya .. this cheerfulangel hasnt been doing a great job lately but will try to get back to her position and do her thing .. but thanks for understanding the fact tat i'm not always a cheerfulangel and thanks for backing me up .. i know i can always turn to u whenever i need .. but i need phone credit to enable me to do so !!!!! haha :P .. ya .. the talk was good .. i'll be good and listen to you .. no more bikkie till i recover .. :P hopefully i can resist the temptation!!! cant wait to crash over at ur place~!!!!!!!!!!! hehee :P

jia mien .. highly doubt tat she reads this .. but really wanna thank her for her timely letter ... though it wasnt a really up to date version .. but the timing was perfect .. just when i needed someone .. thanks my dear..

chunwei .. yea .. was trying to tell ya that my problem wasnt just tat .. but somehow or another .. it dint come out my mouth .. oh well .. but i'm ok now.. if u're wondering if it's because of a boy.. let me tell ya.. it's not k? sorry . no credit to reply ur msg :P thanks tho .. for always being my long term support :P

megan ..thanks for ur call .. and yup. . i did sleep with dry eyes after all :)

ruey yng .. thanks for the forwarded msg .. but u're a lil short to hold the umbrella for me lar :P .. thanks for the offer.. but i'll hold the umbrella for u k?? hehe :P

leelee ..thank you for always praying for me and being such a sweet heart to me~ .. always with ur shiny smile that never fails to cheer up my day and ur kindness and caring never fail to be my pillar :) thanks for dividing my sorrow and lifted my burden up by simply being you~. ..i love you !! and thanks for assuring tat i'm not alone in the dark .. through nitemares :)

bing bing .. thanks for all the yummy but fattening cakes .. it's a great outing that came really timely .. thank you for taking me out and sorry if i've been to distracting :P but i seriously enjoy hanging out with u~ .. not as much pressure and u always calling me "DEAR" haha :) keep taking nice photos :) and do show them to me ya?

joyce mummy .. thank you for treating me with ya peanuts .. that made me cough non-stop the next day.. i;ve atteempted and tried so hard to resist the temptations .. but yup .. i failed .. but it was good stuff.. eating makes me happy .. so .. hehehe .. keep feeding me :P

wenlong .. thanks for dropping by still .. :P i tot u were too busy tat u dint even have time to tell me n shen tat u've changed ur number~~!!! hehe ... shen's gonna fire u soon if u dun reply his mail :P hehe .. yea.. thanks for your concern .. i'm getting there .. u know wat?! .. i may not be going home this june due to some flight problem~!!!! >.< damn!! .. tat means no far away from u~!! >.< ermm .. btw .. have u actually been practising?? ehhee :P

and not to forget
LONG BEAN ..i seriously dint know tat u read my blog!!! o.O but thanks for the long sms and the lengthy email .. and the hug .. ya .. everything happens for a reason .. and i believe and hope that this one will really make me stronger and stop being so weak and prone .. hopefully .. thanks for everything .. and hopefully i'll reply ur email ASAP too :P thanks for the complement on prom ..

yup..
hope i dun forget anyone .. :)

but seriously .. i never knew so many people care for me! and for this reason ... i should never let myself wonder and think that no one cares about me (though i hardly.. no .. [ actually never ].. think that way) cos for now .. i'm very sure that MY DARLINGS DO!!! and i just wanna say a BIG BIG thank you to each and everyone! .. for making my life so colourful and full of ups and down .. and most importantly .. repeatedly reassuring me that i'm not alone in this journey ..

i miss all of u~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really wanna go home!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.T












aikz .. knowing that it's physically impossible to do that for now .. maybe i should focus more on getting well so that i dun embarass myself with my snort :P .. kept blowing my nose in class even though it was pitch silent!! :P and should SERIOUSLY get started on revision for midyear .. i'll be having 3 MAJOR midyear exams in less than 3 weeks ..
wish me luck *finger crossed*

i'm falling sick
both physically and mentally.
now i understand why laughter is the best cure
coz when i'm :( things just seem to get from bad to worse
great!

june flight experiencing some problem
starting to fall sick
sacs and test coming up one after another
my backache has come back to haunt me >.<
and i'm crying everynite before i go to sleep.. why?

if god is real .. can he pls take away my pain ..
i do believe in him .. tat's y i ended up in tears everytime i say a prayer >.<


god, please me the strength and courage to move on .. and be myself again.. to smile and to enjoy living ..

It’s so true wat they say that the only person that can make u cry are the people who make u smile ..
Stop pressuring me ..
And stop giving me all the shit that I dun need
I’m really tired
I’m tired of the fact tat I love u
And I’m tired of the fact that I cant not love u
I’m sick of having to take ur temper and crap
I wanna walk out of this place
Walk out of this place!!!!!!!
But I know I wont be anything without u
You know that I need you
Stop manipulating me
Stop pressuring me
I know you miss my smile
But don’t you know tat I cant put on a curve on my face
if this is happening
I want you to see that I haven’t been behaving like me
And I haven’t been happy
I haven’t had a good nite sleep
I have restless nights .. nights after nights
I’m tired.
I cant do my thing
I tot being a pig, wat I do best will cheer me up
Eat
Eat
Sleep
Eat
Go to class
Eat
Do homework
Sleep
Till time flies
And let time alone heals
this time .. I can only wait and pray
For the better
But this process is really killing me
I’m drained
I’m weak
And I hate myself for everything
I should have a bigger heart
To be more accepting
And to see the good things in life
But why am I not?
Everynite before I sleep I pray
For you and for me
For a brighter future and a better tomorrow
But I cant go the distance alone
Cos I’m still a human
And I honestly cant live alone
While I crave for encouragement
And love through words on the small screen of the phone
Seeing you everyday makes it hard
When all you did was leaving me hanging
I tot you once said we could trust each other forever
Or was I the one who was being plain innocent?
Stop it! I really hate it and I dun wanna think about it
Tat’s y my pillow is wet
And tat’s something u never notice.. though u come in everytime
I’m not asking for anything but a hug
Or just smtg to prove that you still care about me
Do u know that I felt really unloved?
Cos u’re such a big part of the world I live in now
U drifted away .. and there;s nothing I can do to hold u back
I sincerely wish you well
And I’ll mend up my broken heart
Probably
Till then .. I’ll be able to find another reason to smile again

ever wonder y it's always so chilly and cold when u're alone
and it always ALWAYS seem to be winter when u're down?
i used to not understand wat it was like to be lonely in the crowd .. i mean like .. yea .. how can u be ?? when u have everybody just rite beside you .. all you need to do is just to reach out! ..
but now .. i really do understand .. i do ..
and it sucks!!!!


anyhooo ///...

i went to watch the broadway show musical - disney production lion king!! full thumbs up!!! it was SO GOOD!!!~! i'm so amased and fascinated but EVERYTHING in it!! the gesture and the setting .. though it's a familiar old plot but the singings dancing and choreography add a magical touch to it .. everything was good

but

yup ..
there's always a but

the person in front of me was FREAKING TALL !! and i had to keep dodging and trying to find a perfect view!! >.< annoying shit!! but it was all good.. i was practically half standing .. without blocking anyone!! haha .. how amazing was it ?!! haha .. cos.. i was at the last row!! :P heheh .. if u have the chance .. i highly recommend you to watch it!!! it;s GOOD STUFF!! .. well .. melbourne tickets are fully booked now .. i'm assuming as we booked our ticket way back in feb and we only watched it last sunday!! so .. yea ..

awesome show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but the moment i stepped out of the theathre .. i felt .. DAMN!! why do good things have to end so quickly?!!!



aikz .. now i have to get back to work and study!!! there's like full on tests and sacs and everything leading up to my midyear in 3 weeks!!! wish me luck!!

gtg and head for maths sac now T.T

YES!! UPDATE! :)

well .. annoying bits first ..
straight after formal ..considering all the crazy fun and lack of sleep ... i had to do 2 maths tests on the following monday .. i did .. and all i can say is tat i screwed it up quite badly >.<
aikz .. well ..i can sorta blame it on formal >.< but tho i studied the whole morning (last minute studying.. ) i still cant really do it T.T oh well ..

anywayz! formal update!!

it was a total BLAST!!!! such a memorable event!!
in the morning.. suprisingly .. i woke up at 8.30 (course .. with mandy waking me up) and mak and i headed off to the city to go to this free vce seminar .. learnt some study skills .. and "strategies" .. it was good.. but there was more to come :) we sped to the apartment we rented and ate sushi while waiting for mandy to come .. *sushi - less fattening.. wanna do some last minute dieting u see :P *

then .. there was some "uproar" cos joyce mummy who was supposed to do our make up and hair kinda ffk us once we reached the apartment.. in the end .. we kinda sort things out .. and we concluded tat we shall attempt to do our own hair .. so .. the 3 of us changed and went to enjoy and make ultimate use of the facilities there.. we headed off to sauna ... fuiyo .. it was so hot!!! and mak was so syok .. while mandy and i were sweating like a cow!! :P .. and do u know tat u can actually burn urself with ur hair?? well ..tat was wat happened to me!!>.< i burn my shoulder!! T.T



me mak and mandy .. look at our sweat droplets mann!!


had our showers and started getting dressed up :)


i did mandy;s hair.. and i couldnt believe how good i was!! o.O






look how good i was~!! :P






mak doing her own make up

and my hair :) she was a fast learner i have to admit and thank :)



and it turned out really good :)





ppl getting ready at the toilet



haha .. phone :) and smses .*jealous!*

we were aiming to leave at 6 ... AIMING TO LEAVE ..u see .. well .. aiming and leaving .. i can now conclude that they are 2 very different things!!!



finally ready .. down at the apartment .. mak n i



mak and her hot date .. jiahlit



the only nice photo i had with joycee >.<



mandy n i :)

cos ..we ended up leaving at 6.45!!! so late!! and formal actually started at 7!! mrs casey said that entrance were no later than 7.15 .. plus ..we were freaking stucked in the traffic jam .. so we took photos!!!



on the cab



on our way there :)


finally!! we reached the formal place... not grand hotel or watever.. it's just a function hall .. but ... errmm.. i guess it is better than park royal *prom committee.. i still love u guys .. but it was really better marr :P *



judge it urself !


glad tat we werent tat late.. there were still ppl arriving behind us .. so it was actually ok :P .. and i felt so honoured .. cos i had someone to open my taxi door for me :P while i was struggling to put on my heels :P

yup .. up next were just heaps and heaps of photo taking :)



lee n i :)



jiah lit n i



sarah p , mandy, cate n i :)

aww.. i really like sarah's date.. he's a lil gay .. bt i always wanted a gay guy fren :) and he's really nice!! i wanna be his fren!!!!



me with 2 lil cutey pie



ashley aka giddian :P and i
she sure look gorgeous!



seal seal - lydia and i :)



nessa and i .. i always think that she;s preetteee :)



megan's group :)




megan was super super pretty!!! i love her heaps!!! :)



mwah boarders group - love them too !! *huggies*



me n yinzi kitty :P



me n hebe phoebe .. the princess fiona from shrek :P



selah n i :)



tammi n i



ashley and i .. in the toilet :P
the lighting is so much better there!



nard zai n i... she's so hot!



vicky n i .. i love her dress !! so cool horh!!



menique the prom queen in black



jen chung n i .. last year's prom queen :) she still look good !



romy and megan.. i think both of them are absolutely stunning :)



nah!! this is for ppl who think tat ashlea is hot and looks like christy chung



jacky won the "hottest" award .. her back was really sexy .. shall try to get another photo of her k?



my table photo :) ish!! mandy wasnt there >.<




EATING~!!!





mandy n kitty posing in front of their food



joyce jesh hugh jiahlit



my dinner :) salmon .. was way better than bhse food!!!



chicken for mandy n mak



the cheese cake was DELICIOUS!!!!



tiramitsu wasnt too bad either



look at how the 3 of us enjoying our food :) well. . i looked kinda bad there but both of them look good so here goes :P









and less dancing for me this year..





some weirdo funny ass guy wanted boob implant u see.. :P



tango anyone?? :D








it was a great fantastic awesome nite .. but aikz .. good times were always too short >.< it ended so soon!!



we were on the way back in the cab already T.T

but ... the nite is still young.. the after party was up next!!!



kitty and mak were already starting to pig out and enjoying the leftover donuts

we went to hush bar to go clubbing and drinking (obviously both that i'm not good at) but i had heaps of fun! watching ppl get tipsy and dance..



jesh pau n i





in the bar



hugh is so funny and cute!! no wonder jesh likes him so much :P



look how red selah n kitty went :P

ok .. there's a couple of vain shots in the toilet of us in the bar ..







and ya .. that's all for year 12 formal 2006 on 6th of may

but wait till u see wat i did on sunday .. fuiyo!! u'll seriously wonder wat is wrong with me mann !! :P
shall tell u guys more next time .. when i really have time to sit and wait for the photos to load .. this took me like hours!!! >.<