:(

i'm so sad now >.< i finally understood the feeling of the woman in the lost coin parable cos I LOST MY NINE WEST BAG THAT I JUST BOUGHT YESTERDAY!! well.. i know i should not be so materialistic and cry over materials .. but i really couldnt help it!! i just lost a BRAND new bag that i took so long to decide whether should i buy it and now that i havent even taken out the silica gel perservative thingy ... it's gone .. within less than 24 hours .. great!!

it was jesh's birthday .. we cooked heaps of good food.. (ps. our definition of good food = everything except bhse food) and gave her a lil bday surprise ... we cooked chicken potato porridge, chicken soup noodles and tofu ( now i understand how hard it is to translate chinese food into english names) anywayz.. yea .. it was good. thank God for that. and i was so tired!! woke up at about 7.30! >.< and the cleaning up was .. energy consuming .. funny how people disperse after eating .. but oh well .. i kinda dispersed too .. all i can say is that beth's heart is so SO kind .. she's so passionate and considerate!!

yea .. so after everything.. i went to unpack my fruitful shopping from yesterday with an excited heart .. but when i opened one of the bags (well i'm treating myself after months of deprivation) and to my utmost shock .. it was gone!!!!!!!! i could even barely remembered when was the last time i saw it yesterday cos i was so tired from everything. was running over the city to youth and then to ice-cream shop and later coffee shop to get jesh's bday cake and ice cream that i barely notice that my bag in the bag was missing!! >.< well .. i was literally holding or having it near by most of the time .. i seriously coudnt recall anytime that people could just take a chance to steal it!! >.< i really dont.. and today .. i was running around the boarding house preparing for the brunch and my door was wide open .. anyone could have seen the bag and took it .. but then .. i seriously doubt that!!

my siblings in Christ and my sisters in boarding house. NO WAY!!! it's definitely not them!! i know it's me and my careless-ness for not looking after my stuff and my materialistic characteristic that allowed all these to happen. i place worldly joy above someone else who is far more greater than it and now .. i deserve it. i guess i need to set myself right. i couldnt help feeling disappointed and sad and i couldnt believe that i even cried over it .. but i know that things happen for a reason and i'm believing in God to be my provider. i am very disappointed at how careless and i really dont understand why he allowed such things to happen. when everything was just going so SO well.. having so much fun in DFO shopping with selah heebe mak and kiwi .. played xbox with mak daniel and kiwi .. and all ALL great fun things .. and suddenly .. one moment.. i can be brought down to sorrow ..

but u know what??

i refuse to give in, yes, i am sad but i'm not gonna let this stop me from doing all the things that He has called me to do. yes. i am offended and angry that God dint prevent this. cos i know He could.

but u know what?

i'm gonna trust Him. i'm gonna remember that

"We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God--those whom he has called according to his plan"
Romans 8:28

i BELIEVE he will provide and plant another sense of joy in me :) but also wanna thank Him for protecting me. instead of loosing myself to some unknown stranger on the dark roads .. being all alone at 10.30-ish .. buying cake .. he kept me safe and walked with me through the darkest alley. so .. i guess loosing a bag is a better exchange :p

but i realllleeeeeeeeee want the bag back and i dont want the sympathy of others.. getting it for me as a present because they felt sorry. i know it's too much to ask for but i want a miracle that it would just appear or someone returned it. but i would definitely believe that That could happen!


this song from church yesterday really came into my head :)

you calm the raging seas
you walk with me through fire and heal all my disease

i trust in you
i trust in you

I believe you're my healer
I BELIEVE YOU ARE ALL I NEED

I BELIEVE YOU'RE MY PORTION
I BELIEVE YOU'RE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

Jesus you're all i need.

Nothing is impossible for you.
nothing is impossible for you.