rainy days

daylight savings are over. seriously, i find it weird how the weather could just change so drastically along with the daylight saving.

it's been raining for almost 3 days now. i get to sleep hearing the rain beats against the roof, and in the morning, i wake up with my cold toes tapping to the rhythm of the drops on the porch. i dont like weather like this, makes me wanna stay home whole day, wag class, and snuggle in my bed. unfortunately, i dont get the luxury to do so. i have an assignment due tmr!! :S
i've been sleeping early and waking up early for it. labouring away :(

maybe cold gloomy weather makes you wonder.



sometimes i wonder.and i think i still linger.
am i worthy enough?am i good enough?

i see her hurts and pains.
i'm scared. i can feel the reality of it.
i dont deserve it. she didnt deserve the pain either.

why we fall sometimes?
why cant we be firm and just say no.
why is it so hard to go back,
why is it so hard to be focussed.

she's so stunning in her wedding dress.
is it too much or too far for me to imagine myself in that?
i'm not as talented as you are.

i dont have a heart as big as hers.

i'm not good enough.

i can only look from my lil corner and think of all the perhaps and maybes. 

i am trying to forget and let go
but i still cant help reading your blog.
i still cant help waiting eagerly and looking on the screen of my phone, waiting for the text to come through.
i still cant help checking on gtalk or skype.

i feel so silly.

i feel like i'm so useless. i cant honour my words.

i'm sorry.

i'm sorry, you.

i'm sorry, You.

please dont come after me with questions. i think i just need time to sort myself out.

till then, it's assignment time. joy.