Monday, February 14, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Searching and Finding
I just came home from my 7am breakfast catch up with my best friend.
On the way back, i couldnt stop but to ponder on the thought that A LOT of the people on earth are searching.
Yes, WE, are all searching for something.
I just realised that there's this Stats function in your blog page that tells you about the traffic flow of my blog (Yes, i'm a bit slow, just a tad bit, ok?) I havent been blogging much and I was quite shocked at the fact that people still come and check this page out. I dont think it would be worth people's time and yet, i was surpised at what I saw.
It wasnt the fact that my friends still pop by that shock me. It was the fact that people came through google.
Some while back, i think i posted a song about God's amazing grace- "I'm so not worthy but still you love me" and that was one of the hit that google led people here. Yup, thanks google.
It reminded me that people are searching for love. There's a void in all of us. We are always searching for something, dont you reckon? Yesterday's movie with the lims paints a good illustration. Faster, by the Rock. He was looking for revenge, the other guy was searching for adventure and thrill; the cop was searching for truth, the other was looking for a new life. See, everyone was searching for some form of answer that we have in our head. Or to answer a need, or perhaps, someone to love and someone who loves you back.
Not to sound arrogant, i think i've been very blessed and a lot of the times, i always get what i want, or sometimes, even more than what i expected. that's not because of how wealthy my parents are, or how spoilt i am, it's because of the greatness of my Jesus. Su Ann pointed out yesterday, I seemed to have things falling into my lap when i need them. I am indeed so blessed, and I dont wanna take it for granted or sound like a brat. but indeed, I have a heavenly Father who loves me and listens to my needs. House near the school zone, furnitures, rides to places, financial provision and most importantly, a group of people who i love and love me.
Technically, i have it all, but yet, being human, I am still searching for MORE. There's always a desire for something better, materialistically, emotionally and spiritually. Hence, the void is filled and very quickly empty again.
I guess, that's when the lies of the enemy come in. Are you really satisfied? Do you really think that's good enough? You deserve better.. blah blah blah. and you make an unfair trade.
you (i'm speaking to myself too) entertain negative thoughts and think things unworthy of your time. Then you worry and lost your joy. From there onwards, it's a downwards spiral unless you realise and actively puts a stop to it.
I guess, we all have to realise that it's ok to search for something better (there's when improvement comes in?) but i think there's a difference with searching aimlessly like a headless chook and finding for something. When you look for something, do you have the hope that you will find? Or are you just looking, because you know if you didnt try, you wont be at ease but you're not searching whole heartedly? I wonder how God searches our heart? I wonder what is was like when the shepherd went and look for the 1 lost sheep and leaving the herd of 99? I'm wondering what the person on the other side felt when he/she was feeling when he/she google - "i'm so unworthy"?
You know, when you type in something in google, and hit the search button, you expect results to answer your search, right?
I pray that you find what you're looking for. I pray that you find and see God's goodness in the process of looking for the things your heart yearns for.
Matt 7:7
Seek and you will find.
On the way back, i couldnt stop but to ponder on the thought that A LOT of the people on earth are searching.
Yes, WE, are all searching for something.
I just realised that there's this Stats function in your blog page that tells you about the traffic flow of my blog (Yes, i'm a bit slow, just a tad bit, ok?) I havent been blogging much and I was quite shocked at the fact that people still come and check this page out. I dont think it would be worth people's time and yet, i was surpised at what I saw.
It wasnt the fact that my friends still pop by that shock me. It was the fact that people came through google.
Some while back, i think i posted a song about God's amazing grace- "I'm so not worthy but still you love me" and that was one of the hit that google led people here. Yup, thanks google.
It reminded me that people are searching for love. There's a void in all of us. We are always searching for something, dont you reckon? Yesterday's movie with the lims paints a good illustration. Faster, by the Rock. He was looking for revenge, the other guy was searching for adventure and thrill; the cop was searching for truth, the other was looking for a new life. See, everyone was searching for some form of answer that we have in our head. Or to answer a need, or perhaps, someone to love and someone who loves you back.
Not to sound arrogant, i think i've been very blessed and a lot of the times, i always get what i want, or sometimes, even more than what i expected. that's not because of how wealthy my parents are, or how spoilt i am, it's because of the greatness of my Jesus. Su Ann pointed out yesterday, I seemed to have things falling into my lap when i need them. I am indeed so blessed, and I dont wanna take it for granted or sound like a brat. but indeed, I have a heavenly Father who loves me and listens to my needs. House near the school zone, furnitures, rides to places, financial provision and most importantly, a group of people who i love and love me.
Technically, i have it all, but yet, being human, I am still searching for MORE. There's always a desire for something better, materialistically, emotionally and spiritually. Hence, the void is filled and very quickly empty again.
I guess, that's when the lies of the enemy come in. Are you really satisfied? Do you really think that's good enough? You deserve better.. blah blah blah. and you make an unfair trade.
you (i'm speaking to myself too) entertain negative thoughts and think things unworthy of your time. Then you worry and lost your joy. From there onwards, it's a downwards spiral unless you realise and actively puts a stop to it.
I guess, we all have to realise that it's ok to search for something better (there's when improvement comes in?) but i think there's a difference with searching aimlessly like a headless chook and finding for something. When you look for something, do you have the hope that you will find? Or are you just looking, because you know if you didnt try, you wont be at ease but you're not searching whole heartedly? I wonder how God searches our heart? I wonder what is was like when the shepherd went and look for the 1 lost sheep and leaving the herd of 99? I'm wondering what the person on the other side felt when he/she was feeling when he/she google - "i'm so unworthy"?
You know, when you type in something in google, and hit the search button, you expect results to answer your search, right?
I pray that you find what you're looking for. I pray that you find and see God's goodness in the process of looking for the things your heart yearns for.
Matt 7:7
Seek and you will find.
Friday, February 11, 2011
ok. i hope u dont read this and think that i'm emo. well, after all, its the time of the month for me, and i'm more in touch with my feminine side. but hey! i think i've raised a few good points, read and comment?
i think life is very interesting. i sometimes wonder if we could just erase everything and start afresh on a new canvas.
you know, like how we used to have drawing pad, and when you've started on something and realised that that's not what you imagine, then you tear it away and start again.
i dont think you could ever do that with life.
it would be very painful to tear something off and start anew.
i always think people who are suffering from Alzheimers are one of the saddest group of people. Well, if not they themselves, it would be the people around them, or the people that love them.
I think we all have the desire to love, and be loved back. That's how and why God created us, i think?
Jo, Elwin and I had a good catch up session at The Bee today.
i'm very scared to admit this, I dont think I know how to love anymore.
Jo pointed out in the bible,
1 John 3:14
Anyone who does not love remains in death.
I think part of me is slowly dying within. I think this holiday has showed me how much i've fallen short of God's glory and how much i needed God's grace. I see people and i try to do the right thing. but I think i've become very much task driven and not people driven. Over these few weeks, I've been running around, from places to places, running errands and seeing people. A lot of the time, i am trying to please people.
Please my parents
please my grandma
please my friends
please my relatives
basically, i'm trying so hard to please everyone and i felt like i'm so tired and soo drained. i've relied on my own strength too much and i'm suffocating myself.
and the BIG question that hit me was, have i please God? Is Jesus pleased with me?
I think there's a difference with doing or saying the right thing at the right time, say something because you know it's the right thing to say (out of obligation) and doing something wholeheartedly. It's the same about giving, and the same principle applies to loving. I heard that, you can give without loving but you cant love without giving. Perhaps I havent given for a while. I'm been complaining and being quite negative, and i have to constantly tell myself off and talk to myself. otherwise, i think i'll become someone i totally dislike. being away from God kinda suck. knowing that you're not that much on fire anymore, i reckon is worse than not having Jesus in your life. I guess that's why God hates lukewarm.
sad to admit, i've been living a mediocre, lukewarm life this holiday. (it only hit me yesterday) and i really really hate it. people say hate is a big word. i think i've used it well this time, it really describes how i feel.
Elwin is not a person of big talks. He believes more in action. Jo pointed out again that action means more than words (as cliche as it sounds), it is stated in the bible. ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. I've always said a lot of things but i havent done alot. I always said i wanna change someone's life. have i?
If I were to read what i've written in the past, i'm pretty sure i've said i wanna love people more, i wanna serve, i wanna make an impact, i wanna do something for God. Have I taken any action - is the big question.
My aunty nonchalantly commented that my generation is not as 'durable' as theirs anymore, we get tired easily and we give up relatively fast. when she first said it, i was strongly against it. but now, i think there's some truth in it. we dont fight for what we believe in anymore, not to say, the people we love. it's sad, but give up seems to be the subtle and understandable easy way out for the problems that arise. just sweep it under the carpet. look at our environmental issues, the corruption in our country? what about the fear of rejection or the insecurity? lack of attention?
i guess, ultimately, the question is - are we willing to lay down our lives and pick up the cross?
i think life is very interesting. i sometimes wonder if we could just erase everything and start afresh on a new canvas.
you know, like how we used to have drawing pad, and when you've started on something and realised that that's not what you imagine, then you tear it away and start again.
i dont think you could ever do that with life.
it would be very painful to tear something off and start anew.
i always think people who are suffering from Alzheimers are one of the saddest group of people. Well, if not they themselves, it would be the people around them, or the people that love them.
I think we all have the desire to love, and be loved back. That's how and why God created us, i think?
Jo, Elwin and I had a good catch up session at The Bee today.
i'm very scared to admit this, I dont think I know how to love anymore.
Jo pointed out in the bible,
1 John 3:14
Anyone who does not love remains in death.
I think part of me is slowly dying within. I think this holiday has showed me how much i've fallen short of God's glory and how much i needed God's grace. I see people and i try to do the right thing. but I think i've become very much task driven and not people driven. Over these few weeks, I've been running around, from places to places, running errands and seeing people. A lot of the time, i am trying to please people.
Please my parents
please my grandma
please my friends
please my relatives
basically, i'm trying so hard to please everyone and i felt like i'm so tired and soo drained. i've relied on my own strength too much and i'm suffocating myself.
and the BIG question that hit me was, have i please God? Is Jesus pleased with me?
I think there's a difference with doing or saying the right thing at the right time, say something because you know it's the right thing to say (out of obligation) and doing something wholeheartedly. It's the same about giving, and the same principle applies to loving. I heard that, you can give without loving but you cant love without giving. Perhaps I havent given for a while. I'm been complaining and being quite negative, and i have to constantly tell myself off and talk to myself. otherwise, i think i'll become someone i totally dislike. being away from God kinda suck. knowing that you're not that much on fire anymore, i reckon is worse than not having Jesus in your life. I guess that's why God hates lukewarm.
sad to admit, i've been living a mediocre, lukewarm life this holiday. (it only hit me yesterday) and i really really hate it. people say hate is a big word. i think i've used it well this time, it really describes how i feel.
Elwin is not a person of big talks. He believes more in action. Jo pointed out again that action means more than words (as cliche as it sounds), it is stated in the bible. ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. I've always said a lot of things but i havent done alot. I always said i wanna change someone's life. have i?
If I were to read what i've written in the past, i'm pretty sure i've said i wanna love people more, i wanna serve, i wanna make an impact, i wanna do something for God. Have I taken any action - is the big question.
My aunty nonchalantly commented that my generation is not as 'durable' as theirs anymore, we get tired easily and we give up relatively fast. when she first said it, i was strongly against it. but now, i think there's some truth in it. we dont fight for what we believe in anymore, not to say, the people we love. it's sad, but give up seems to be the subtle and understandable easy way out for the problems that arise. just sweep it under the carpet. look at our environmental issues, the corruption in our country? what about the fear of rejection or the insecurity? lack of attention?
i guess, ultimately, the question is - are we willing to lay down our lives and pick up the cross?
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