R.I.P.

This week, we said goodbyes to 2 amazing men from our church - Shaun Bergin and Dylan Hall.

Personally, I dont know them. I just know of people who are related to them but they both have definitely touched my heart.

Dylan is 6 years old, brother to Jasmine and Eric. These kids are absolutely fantastic and having them in Planetkids had always been so much fun! I went to Dylan's funeral the other day and I realised these kids are actually WAYYY stronger and bigger in spirit than i could ever imagined. The photos of how they walked along Dylan and loved their little brother despite of his condition really touch my heart. They came to church on Sunday after the funeral. I saw Jasmine lift her hands and still praise God with all her heart. That in itself was beautiful and it was so hard to not move me to tears. The other kids at church were so gorgeous as well. Aimee and Ryan uphold them in prayer and it was evident that the presence of God was so strong when the kids prayed.

I guess, this in itself was a testimony. To see that Jasmine and Eric, despite their pain and questions, still came to church and still worship Our Father, was indeed very moving. And for the other kids, to love them and to pray with them and to support them, just in their actions speak more than 100000 words.

Shaun is a 26 year old footy player. Husband to Jess, son-in-law to Geoff and LeeAnne from planetkids. He suffered from a sporting injury that had left him unconscious (head/spinal cord injury?) and was put on life support. Today, we bid him goodbye after the good fight that he had put on! Perhaps, one can argue, how could this happen? He was so young and everyone prayed, and everyone stood in faith. I guess, with a lot of things, we wouldnt know why God did what He did. And i guess we would never know why God didnt carry out the promises that we once thought we saw, until we reach heaven and finally see things from the eternity point of view and in a wayyy bigger perspective than our human earthly mind could try to percieve right now. But for now, we just need to know that God is still God and He is still good. As Bea said, surely, the greater testimony is yet to happen. Just you wait.

I was on facebook and was just scrolling on all the encouragement, prayers and thoughts that were posted on the Bergins and the Andersons' wall. I love how people stood around each other and encourage them. My heart breaks as i know that they are walking through this grief. Lee Ann and Geoff are such inspirational people in the PK team. But at the same time, it's touching, knowing that in this journey of life, there's all these people that are thinking about you and believing with you through tough times. To cheer you on and to cry with you. To declare God's goodness and the light of hope when it feel like its utter darkness.

I love how love is made real, especially at this time.

To the Halls, Bergins and Andersons,

thank you for showcasing your legends and champions - Dylan and Shaun, to the world. our prayers and thoughts are with you. God is surely working something tremendously good along your way. love you guys heaps!

1 Corinthians 15:54b-55

“Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

“Where, O death, is your victory?

Where, O death, is your sting?”

There has been so many farewells recently that it's not funny anymore! I'm not made out of a heart of stone (as rach fi would have described it), so, it aint the easiest for me to say goodbye to people.

I realised that when people pack, and if you're lucky (or unlucky?) enough to be there to witness the process, you have the priviledge of seeing bits and pieces of their lives through the little knick-knacks that lie around. I was totally fascinated and being a horder myself, apart from finding everything interesting, i realised that behind the so-called-unneccessary-junk, there's a story of itself.

Over the past few weeks, I had to say goodbye to 2 of my ex-housies, 1 of my urbies and a friend very close to my heart. AND, another one is leaving in few days! (now now, munyee, hold on to your tears! it'll be so embarassing to cry in the com lab!)
and i was talking to my besties back at home over skype and totally broke down. I was suffering from quarter life crisis and asking them the big questions about life, people, career and everything else under the sun.

I guess i was overwhelmed. The thought about people leaving home for good or going to another country for work, yes it is exciting and i am very happy for them, but I think I just need to work on my adaptation skills and be better at getting used to not seeing the familiar faces i used to see every so often. I find it so funny that yesterday, it was su ann who was boarding the flight but she had to check on me and make sure that i'm ok.

but what she said was very true.
If there leaving was nothing to be sad about, or the fact that it doesnt hurt as much, would probably mean there wasnt anything to celebrate in the friendships and bonds made here.

Beat sent me a very encouraging email (which i will share more next time), talking about seasons in life and I realised that I am in this strategic season of redefining myself and who I am in God and where I am to go. Who I was, what I'm going through now will shape who I am yet to become in the future! Being at the point when you are so near (yet so far) to the end of uni, flogged with job applications and asking about what is to happen next and where to go feels like you're juggling with A WHOLE heap of things. but then again, you just need to chill out, lay back and gather you bits and pieces. Having been on placements for the whole while makes me feel so burnt out. But talking to my uni friends again made me realised i'm not the only one going through this silly little quarter life crisis.

Instead, it really got me thinking.


Before Ant left, he gave me this whole heap of craft materials, papers and all things cool. He always believe in the creative side of me. Li Yin gave me some of her clothes and some household goods. It reminds me of the housies time that we shared. And before Su Ann left, she wrote me this letter of how I changed her life by being myself.

Yes, I am at the season of dealing with people leaving my physical circle and searching for directions. It kinda feels like I am in a season of uncertainty but also a season preparation.

So, yes. I have now a few more things in my room. they are not junk and i only hoard things with sentimental values (ie. everything! hahaha) but they do have stories to tell. from a season of someone else's life and now entering to mine.


and yes. i will clean my room tonight!

Honour

Last night was absolutely amazing. Not because people said nice things about me, but because I have finally experienced it for myself what Ps Russell said about honour.

When you honour somebody, you release the supernatural miracle working power.

Yesterday marks the last day of me being an ULU 13 member. It's an emotional journey, really. I've been there for nearly 5 + years now. I've seen people come and go, and now, it's my turn to leave. Well, one relievin thing was that I'm not going overseas (as yet) or changing church or something relatively long term. I'm just changing to the Burwood Urban Life. I'll still see people at church on Sundays and it's not like it's a farewell thing! (as you would have known, I suck at saying goodbye)

This UL has indeed come a long way and it is definitely my honour to be able to go knowing that I have made a change. At the beginning of the year, I stood back and saw the potential that was in the group. I knew the credit wasnt mine to take and definitely, all glory to God! But it's just so beautiful to see all these amazing people growing and stepping into the greater. We have indeed shared some amazing journey. And that's the beauty of family I guess, you don t need to see each other heaps and you don't need to constantly hang out. Yet, you know that they are never too far away.

Well, family being family, I couldn't help but to laugh at the things they described or told me yday
"Munyee is like the energizer bunny, she never runs flat"

"She goes to Chadstone VIP to shop for others, she needs to be commended for that" - in all seriousness, I was just trying to buy the best present at the best price. Not so commendable as you guys think la!

"She is like the social butterfly, if ppl ask you which urban life you go to and they give you a confused look after you said jon Ngan, just say Munyee and they will all go 'oohhhh'! Hahhahha"

And of course, there are a lot more of honoring words that came out of my Urbies and I know it is supernaturally changing me from the inside. You know some words, you hear and it comes out the other ear, these weren't one of those. Not because they were flattering but because, God clicked something in me. I didn't go all mushy and airy fairy as I usually would when ppl compliment me.
This time, it felt different. I myself was encouraged! (I reckon this was the time when myself in the past has encouraged myself now in the present). I never knew that little post-its notes go such a long way and random acts of kindness that I totally don't remember make such huge differences. A lot of times, I thought to myself, those mere thoughts were just good ideas and nice things to do. I love doing them anyway but now, to really hear that those weren't labour in vain and they were seeds planted to brighten someone's day, totally made it worthwhile. I'll do them all over again.

Of course, it's not all about me having done this and leaving such a legacy behind, but honoring and being the one that ppl honored last night taught me something. The mundane things that you do all the time, the things that you once caved into thinking that it's nothing and it doesn't matter to anyone, God sees them and God uses the littlest of all. Just as long as you put them under His feet.

I love what Pearly said, "you have been such a blessing to many of us here. Perhaps it is time for you to bless other ppl in the other group. We have all received so much from you, it is time for you to bless others."
Wow.
What a powerful releasing statement with a commission! I was just gonna go to the other group. But she has empowered me to bring the change and the gifts I can offer into the group.

ULU 13, thank you for the amazing journey we shared. This is definitely not farewell, so make sure you do keep me posted with whatever that is happening!



And Burwood UL, HELLO! :)



Numbers 18:29
Be sure to give to the Lord the best portions of the gifts given to you.

I cried because ..

Last night, I cried and it kinda felt good after that. It has been a while where I cried myself to sleep but it's a good point of release of what is inside. Dont worry, I am totally fine now. It just needs to come out.

Well, last night, I cried because..

David, our Brit urbie, will be returning to London in 10 days. It hurts saying goodbye and I totally suck at farewell. I think i could possibly be the only person that balled my eyes out yday during urbs. Such a softy. But that's also because our lives had crossed and seeing him around has been a routine. I guess, I'm not ready for the missing british accent, or the little chuckle around the corner when I thought no one saw the silly thing i embarrassed myself with.
but above all, what he said during his speech was what moved me the most and being the second reason I cried last night.

He said I told him that he was in Melbourne for a reason. (honestly, when he pointed at me, I totally could not remember what had i said to him at camp!) I was like shucks, it better be something of God and something good. And, phew! true enough, it was ok. But it hit me,

God can and wants to use me.

For the reasons that I have entertained and thought that I was not moving in the Spirit, they are all LIES! This week in itself, I have been sooo stirred by Beat, Ngan and a few others to just really know that I can run the race well. God is still Sovereign and ultimately, it is really not about me. A lot of times, when I pray for people, things just come to me and I speak it out, not sure if it actually made sense, but last night, God reminded me that they do! and it was Him speaking, of course it made sense. OHHH! I just want so much more of that.

I wanna walk in the supernatural. I wanna see the outpouring of heaven. I wanna see Jesus.

Lisa Bevere, tweeted this yeseterday. So profound. Ponder upon that!
" Disturb us Lord when we are too well pleased w/ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. Francis Drake"

And, well, the one more reason that I cried last night, was just the fact that I am so blessed with amazing people around me. I am surrounded by people who love me and people who look out for me. They stand in the gap for me and they believe in me. They call me PRINCESS, like how God would call me, remind me the position I have in Christ, follow me on twitter and read my blogs just to find out how am I doing. Longs for Sunday just so that they could see me. They tell me the things that are harsh and straight to my face just so that I dont get hurt in the future. Share my and their joys and misadventures... And so much more! This in itself overwhelmed me and throw me off my game I dont even know how to respond to it but to say thank you and thank You! Little things do go a LOONNNNGGG way in Munyee's cupcake world.

Ngan shared a message of a cracker yesterday.
Expect.
Be hungry.
Passion.

it feels like God is just stirring so much more in me.
it feels like
I am filled to be emptied again
The seed I recieved I will sow.