I cried because ..

Last night, I cried and it kinda felt good after that. It has been a while where I cried myself to sleep but it's a good point of release of what is inside. Dont worry, I am totally fine now. It just needs to come out.

Well, last night, I cried because..

David, our Brit urbie, will be returning to London in 10 days. It hurts saying goodbye and I totally suck at farewell. I think i could possibly be the only person that balled my eyes out yday during urbs. Such a softy. But that's also because our lives had crossed and seeing him around has been a routine. I guess, I'm not ready for the missing british accent, or the little chuckle around the corner when I thought no one saw the silly thing i embarrassed myself with.
but above all, what he said during his speech was what moved me the most and being the second reason I cried last night.

He said I told him that he was in Melbourne for a reason. (honestly, when he pointed at me, I totally could not remember what had i said to him at camp!) I was like shucks, it better be something of God and something good. And, phew! true enough, it was ok. But it hit me,

God can and wants to use me.

For the reasons that I have entertained and thought that I was not moving in the Spirit, they are all LIES! This week in itself, I have been sooo stirred by Beat, Ngan and a few others to just really know that I can run the race well. God is still Sovereign and ultimately, it is really not about me. A lot of times, when I pray for people, things just come to me and I speak it out, not sure if it actually made sense, but last night, God reminded me that they do! and it was Him speaking, of course it made sense. OHHH! I just want so much more of that.

I wanna walk in the supernatural. I wanna see the outpouring of heaven. I wanna see Jesus.

Lisa Bevere, tweeted this yeseterday. So profound. Ponder upon that!
" Disturb us Lord when we are too well pleased w/ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. Francis Drake"

And, well, the one more reason that I cried last night, was just the fact that I am so blessed with amazing people around me. I am surrounded by people who love me and people who look out for me. They stand in the gap for me and they believe in me. They call me PRINCESS, like how God would call me, remind me the position I have in Christ, follow me on twitter and read my blogs just to find out how am I doing. Longs for Sunday just so that they could see me. They tell me the things that are harsh and straight to my face just so that I dont get hurt in the future. Share my and their joys and misadventures... And so much more! This in itself overwhelmed me and throw me off my game I dont even know how to respond to it but to say thank you and thank You! Little things do go a LOONNNNGGG way in Munyee's cupcake world.

Ngan shared a message of a cracker yesterday.
Expect.
Be hungry.
Passion.

it feels like God is just stirring so much more in me.
it feels like
I am filled to be emptied again
The seed I recieved I will sow.