...

hmm .. well .. just a lil shout outs ..

happy belated birthday evil twin joel !!!!! sorrwee i dint know ur 17th bday was so special!! and i was so blur to miss it!! hope u had fun!!!!

thank u shen for calling me the other day!!! :) hehe!! nice talking to u!! i think u've put on some accent from germany!! in my opinion .. but not very sure! but take care my dear!! i sure miss u~!!

for the broken hearted .. dun forget to look up the sky and lift ur heads high.. there's always the sun .. or the moon there .. if not .. the stars would be there to go through ur toughest time with ya! .. so .. cheer up!! u never know the next moment when u look up .. there's a beautiful rainbow round the corner! know tat i'll always be there when u need me k?


ok .

where should i start with ?? sometimes .. as i was just thinking to myself after i sign into my blog .. if i can write a good post .. might as well not blog .. but on the other hand .. i enjoyed blabbering out shit here! .. as in write out the weirdest and the most random things possible! .. haha .. and also knowing that someone outthere may just bum into my blog and read the crap i wrote gives me the kick to not shutting this blog down .. :)
but then .. the school mac com cant read the url of my blog .. need to go to the windows com .. a lil troublesome .. aikz .. but i'll do tat !! wonder who left me a msg ..


updates from me ..
been to a future leader forum in melb uni .. heard some really good speakers sharing bout their career experiences and their lives .. and their views on leadership.
there were some really good and inspiring stuff tat i would really like to share but i'm not really in the mood now .. but i promise i will .. sometime later.. :P if i remember :P

well .. more of the deeper part of me ..
i duno y but i'm a lil homesick lately .. all i wanna do is have fun .. play and forget all the responsibilities and work.. i cant wait for the june break and go back!! i know .. i've been here for more than 2 years and why am i still homesick .. i've got frens here as well and i'm not greatly missed or watever shit .. but still .. there's just this tinge of loneliness in me .. i know when i go back .. it's not gonna be the same as well .. people have college and we are now on different paths .. yea .. frens still .. but i'm really scared tat i wont be as close as i used to be! .. i'm really scared .. ok .. i admit

my greatest fear is to loose a fren..
to know tat a person is there but not really there ..
to see someone cry and not being able to do something
to be loved and not really loved
i know i wont be forgotten tat easily .. (i hope) but i'm really afraid tat i may just be out of someone's mind ..
i'm scared of being alone everytime when i have to jump off the tram and walk back to school by myself in the dark
i'm scared of blogging in the computer room when all i see outside the window is pitch blackness (NOW!!) haha :P
i'm scared tat i will cry on the final day when we say goodbye
i'm even more scared tat i wont cos i'm scared tat it meant there's nothing for me to cry over
i'm scared tat i'm drowning in my pile of homework tat now i'm hating myself for being so fucking competitive
i'm scared tat i wont be able to do my job well tat i'm not even pleasing myself
i'm scared of loosing my identity
i'm scared that i wont treat ppl nicely
worse of all .. i'm scared of loosing my smile


damn . i dint know i'm scared of so many things!





shit! there's still boarding hse shit to do! .. sometimes i wonder if i dun bother .. would anyone take the initiative to care .. ya . i'm the captain .. so??? ... sometimes i need someone to push me and give me the kick and encouragement too .. i'm tired of being the pushy one! .. and tired of being pushed around (by the invisble fact) that i have to push ppl ..




i wanna go home .. and just lie on my bed and stare at my ceiling ..