MUCK UP DAY

today is yr 12 final day of school .. which to them is known as muck up day .. for us .. getting mucked up by the yr 12s! ..
well .. it was a great heapz of fun .. but rite now .. i'm not really in the mood to talk about the fun stuff..

i'm currently suffering from boredom and pessimism!! >.<
i duno y but yet .. yea.. i'm feeling really shitty cos i stuffed up my chem test and i couldnt find anyone to play sports with me! >.< i do know y !
i dun feel like doing anything productive.. aka hw .. and aikz.. so screwed!!
all i feel like doing is to scream and shout the throat out of my lungs (not using my common sense here)
well ... who cares?!! at least i can release the stress that is in me ..
but tears wont come out
and things dont work out
i'm left here still .. bored bored and lastly still bored >.<

well ... sinking into the pessimism .. >.<
i used to think that i'm the luckiest gal on world ..
(i kinda still think so .. but yea .. )
i'm stucked in dilemma now ..
wondering .. who am i? why am i here ? does anyone care?
i used to be able to feel free to just knock on the door
bang on ur head or even yell or laugh at ur face ..
and spill out all the deep thoughts
in my head or in my soul
i know that there would always be someone there
to lift me up when there seemed to be no one else
i thought tat i was very loved
but now .. i'm doubting .. were those sensational things oni in my dreams?
can this still happen again
when everyone is so engaged
with the hustle bustle of their own lives
and the stress that mounting up

i dun wanna be a burden
i dun wanna be a weight
i dun wanna be a disturbance
nor an annoyance
i wanna be a angel, a cheerful angel
who brings joy and :) when there's despair
i wanna be someone who take the grief and pain ..
and put it on my shoulder
then i'll hide and weep alone .. in the dark corner ..
secretly .. silently .. and pray that .. shortly ..
i'll be able to stand again.