TEARS .. droplet from the eyes

well ... i duno y .. but i've kept seeing tears coming out of various eyes recently.. but yet sadly .. none are tears of joy .. they were just plain sad .. solemn .. and unhappiness .. >.< why though ???
why do people have feelings ???this is wat i frequently asks myself .. wouldnt it be better if we were numb .. and live a dull life each and everyday /??? at least we wouldnt have to get hurt by some sensitive feelings tat "aint productive" ..
but even though i've been hurt for thousand millions times ... i still choose to have feelings .. stupid hey? but then .. it is only then tat i can feel joy .. and happiness.. only through this tat i can be happy and then the live tat i want ..cos i simply cant live a dull monotonous numb live ... i guess no one ever could .. mayb by getting hurt tat we mature .. maybe .. i'm confused~!

when i crashed into c2(faizai;s room) .. her roomate was crying .. she had alwayz been cheerful .. asking ppl how are they . and . seemed to be so organised and stuff. .. tat i would never tat of sadness would hit her so hard .. . when later asked why .. it was just tat she felt somehow rejected .. but glad tat she is able to put a smile back on her face now .. and is feeling perfectly alrite now .. *relieved*

then .. melb uni open day .. (shall talk about it later) ..when returned back to the bhse .. just a simply casual conversation with a best fren .. then .. i found out that there were so much resentment and disatisfaction in her .. so much frustration .. she is annoyed bout how ppl treat ppl .. the unjust and unfair in life .. the purpose of living .. and really deep meaningful stuff tat she had been troubled with .. she couldnt pull herself together to do wat she is supposed to ... like hw .. commitments and stuff .. she duno wat she wants for herself .. cos she's just too nice .. forever thinking bout others .. and pressuring herself .. trying to live up to someone tat she finds out tat she is not .. she hates how our world is governed by unspoken rules. . how appearances does matter.. and why ppl have to behave the way they should .. she wants to live as a cavewoman (Something tat i wouldnt even wanna consider bout ) cos she just doesnt like the world and the way it is now .... i consoled her abit ... but i dun think i really helped alot .. but i felt really bad listening to her .. there were just too much sadness in her .. too complicated. .. tat i felt tat i'm so useless as a fren .. couldnt even cheer her up .. i tried so hard to .. but words just ran away off my head.. yet .. my ears were very attentive .. shoulders ready to be leaned on .. yet .. guilt creeps in me for .. the problem in her is still there .. hate myself for being so useless.. but i'm glad tat i was there to listen to her .. pal.. hope u can stand up soon ..

tears just rolled out of a pair of ballerina's eyes yesterday ... her exams are coming soon .. yet she felt so unprepared .. the pressure in her is consuming her .. she wanna do well in her exams .. yet she doesnt have enough time .. doesnt have a good place or studio to practice. . nor a good teacher to guide her ... she is just so lost and she is faced with such a big challenge!! bearing the tot tat she has to focus on her studies. . everyting is just a bit too much for her .. and wat i did was just giving her words of encouragement .. how helpful >.< i wanna do more !!! but yet i duno wat is wise to do .. hate myself!!!!

well ..the last one is the one tat touches me the most .. she cried a lot .. was like crying full on... till the next day .. her eyes were swelling .. and the reason u might ask // its becos of her frens back home .. she is from malaysia .. and knowing tat her frens are having spm .. she tries to encourage them as much as possible .. and also .. deep inside her .. she knows tat when she returns home in dec. .. everything would be different as her friends would have graduate and may possibly be setting out for their future education and stuff ...everyone going in different directions .. being glamourous and successful .. she knew it ... she knew tat the day would come.. . but according to her .. it just dint hit her till one day .. her best fren is planning to go on the exchange programme (which is a real hot thing now i heard) during the period when she is at home for hols .. meaning .. they may not be able to spend time together~! .. and tat really hit her hard .. it's like chucking a brick on her head! .. she was just thoroughly shocked at the thoughts of not having her best frens' company during the hols when in the past they spent tonnes of crazy moments together .. it was simply unbelievable ! ... deeply in her ..she is proud and alwayz having her head up high for every single thing her frens did at home .. even by listening to stories and stuff. .she is happy enough to know bout all the small things tat happen to her frens ... but the fact tat everyone is seperating after spm just terrifies her .. wat if she looses contact .. wat if they never meet again ..so many "wat if"s .. aikz .. and the fact tat she left her comfort zone and came over to study her has made her see the change and "effects of seperation".. . she cried and cried becos she misses them so much but yet she cant do anything about it ....
lots of people may think tat she is just being stupid and foolish .. crying over the future tat is still a mystery .. or something tat is inevitable ... but for me ... i clearly understands her and empathied her .. for she was me >.<