Stop.

So,
i know i have been busy. ever since august or september, time just seemed to zoooom by and everything seemed to be a blur. Dont get me wrong. It's not that I've been having rough patches all throughout. NOT AT ALL. It's just life gets soo busy, in a good way, and you know the saying, "time flies when you're having fun" yea. That, is I.

I cant believe I am now an official graduate! Results were out and I've ticked all the boxes, passed everything. I can only give God the glory for pulling me through these 4.5 years of uni despite all forms of procrastination, dragging my feet to finish my assignments.

We had a christmas get together with the urbies at my place yesterday. Vitory mentioned that it was only 3 weeks left before we bid 2011 goodbye and welcome 2012. Seriously, where has the year been? I remembered I used to journal heaps and when i look back occassionally, things jolts back to memories. This year, I hadnt been consistent at all. I tried but somehow, only the key turning points of my life are documented, mainly the low parts. Happy days seemed to be taken for granted with just a line or two (but thanks to iphone and instagram, there's still some photos).

I realised that I have been going and doing. These are constant and continuous. There were fun things but I realised that I hadn't stopped for the moment to reflect and as cliche as it sounds, smell the roses. to just stop.
and step back.

Read Wei Xiong's blog yesterday on his post on Doug and Hooch

It really moved me and got me thinking, when was the last time I noticed someone.

I've been trying to get to places in time and looking forward to the thing that I have set out to do and been too fixated. It has been a while since I last pulled out a "go-with-the-flow". Everything has to go according to my iCal and my schedule. Being organised is good but the second half of the year has just been sooo packed with things that it kinda felt that I have taken the wheel and run according to my timeline.

When was the last time I've allowed God to show me something cool and out of the blue?

Perhaps, the final 3 weeks of 2011.

In the midst of seeing and hanging out with all the amazing people that I love in Melbourne before I head home, I'm making room.

I'm making time.

He deserves them.

i LIKE

sookers had always been rubbing in and saying that i'm getting old. Well, i guess she is PARTIALLY right. I cant freeze time ok? hahaha so it is natural to grow old what!

I sleep early and dont stay up late anymore. 1 o'clock is the latest i am willing to toothpick my eyes open. I dont like going out super late and i rather movies than games!

BUT HEY! I'M STILL COOL AND I STILL LOVE TO HAVE FUN OK!

I rediscovered my passion and joy in meeting new people and having the opportunity to hang out with people i dont usually hang out with / people i dont see so often! It's in doing the little random things like travelling all the way to the city at 730am just for baseball, sleeping in someone's room in between service and dinner, getting shot by millions of paintball and still smile at the end of the day, catching up in the library, watching and cheering on a volleyball game and impromtu outings to jells park.

somewhere, somehow, along the way, i've learnt to prioritise. To put what is closest to your heart first. It is not hard to know who is important in your life cos they'll always be in your thoughts. And, i cant be like superman, fly across to the other side of the earth in 2 mins. I can only do one small thing at a time. As uncool as it sound, i rather turn down an invite to some extravagant party and just snuggle up next to my ex-housie. I guess with growing up, you learnt to appreciate people more, hey?

So, yes. Growing up is inevitable and who says growing up is growing old?!! I still giggle and laugh super loud (and yes, in my amazingly high pitch!) at the silliest of things. But i think after taking in 23 years of oxygen, you realised that little things go long way.

After all, they say best things in life are free anyway! :) and well, I think its ok to slow down as we grow older. (no, i'm not saying the energy of my youth has departed me! NEVER admitting that!!!) But i'm just saying that in slowing down and taking a step back, you will realise that you actually have time to smell the flowers!! Whereas, when you're all hyped and running around heaps, you miss the little things.

i like smelling the flowers.

i like going on food adventures.

and you know what? I actually really like it when it rains and i'm indoor.

i like the sound of rain as it hits the floor or the window.

I like how secured and safe i can be inside the house.

so who cares if i'm growing old and not as exciting as people think i am.

as long as i'm with the people i love, and doing the things that makes my heart go fuzzy, who cares!

i like!

Colossians 3

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

I have more than enough.

last night, we had a movie and burrito night at DanT's.

we watched Soul sufer, based on a true story.

these few weeks, I've met lots of people who had shared stories of all the other tough times that they had been through - bad clinical experiences. dealing with relationship difficulties. facing the death of their youngest son.

and, watching this movie, seeing the fighting spirit in this young lady and rethinking about the life that I'm living. I am so very blessed. I have more than enough and I wanna do more with the little bits that I have. I really love how Bethany Hamilton inspires others when she least expect she could. I think it is often a pleasant surprise, when you look down at your own brokenness and wonder what can you possibly offer, and then, see the miraculous and endless possibility at the end of the wave. That's what HOPE is, hey?

To be honest, that movie did not have the best production or any fancy visual or you could even say that the plot is predictable. But I love the fact that it is a true story. A beautiful piece of someone's life. I'm 23 years old and the story of this 13 year old chic from Hawaii really moved me. Makes me question about what am I doing with my life!

I wanna do something. I wanna explore, discover and go on an adventure! There's something within me that is busting to GO but I just dont know what or how to get there. Uncertainties and crossroads are so annoying but I guess that helps in keeping me grounded in some ways and help me to be more logical?

At the moment, I'm just figuring out on what's next and waiting on God. I cant wait to see the connecting dots come together.

So, just you wait and watch this space! I'm pretty sure something exciting is about to happen!!

ps. thank you so much for your prayers. 2 nursing interviews done!

Graduate Nurse Program

it's International Nurses Day tmr, and hence, there's lots of things happening in uni and outside of uni revolving the nursing career.

And, it's also the time of the year where hospitals are recruiting and now, my turn to apply for a position as a graduate nurse has finally arrived! I am SOOOOOO nervous!!

Here are some links of the hospitals and programs that interests me. Who knows, next year, you may find me working there! Have a click and tell me what you reckon? (you dont have to, but it'll be nice and i will greatly appreciate some feedback?)

Southern Health

Austin Health

Alfred Health

Royal Melbourne Hospital

?

just came out of the nursing grad info session.
so many hospitals. so many hospitals, so many options!!!

I have decided to give paramedics a break for next year. wont be applying for that based on the many conspiracy and the fact that we have to work in a rural setting to start off with. so, i'm sticking to nursing.
(and i love nursing anyway)

but the question now is - where and what?!!!

Numbers

I've been reading the chapter Numbers in the bible. Yes, there are lots of numbers and the things that were written were exact to the dot, for example, when a census was taken, they actually write down how many people they counted.

I was really fascinated at how the different clans have a different job scope. The Levites were to enter into the tent and the Kohathites were only to carry the holy things and not look at them at all. This other clan were to carry the curtains and this other one were to carry the tents and the gears.

To each, there was a specific job description.

Numbers 4:49a
At the Lord's commandment through Moses, each was assigned his work and told what to carry.

I just watched Never Let Me Go

It is a beautiful but sad movie. (spoiler alert) People were created just for the sake of organ donation. They were created to die. There were no other means of escape, no deferrals, no excuses and no time to experience true love. Their sole purpose was to extend the life of this other person whom they have never met. They "complete" when there has been so many organs that are taken out that they practically cant survive anymore.

As graduation is approaching, uni has been organising lots of careers related talks with us, and in guiding us on making our choices for next year. I am truly one step closer to working in the healthcare world. But the big question is, where to go and what's next?

It's scary, not just because we are next in line to step out of uni and into the working world.
It's scary, cos it is time to carry the load of the society.
It's scary because I am going to be walking in my destiny.

Specific

Let's be specific.

Welcome to Holland

this video was showed in one of my lectures. so truly inspiring (you may need to turn the volume up to hear the words)

Searching and Finding

I just came home from my 7am breakfast catch up with my best friend.

On the way back, i couldnt stop but to ponder on the thought that A LOT of the people on earth are searching.
Yes, WE, are all searching for something.

I just realised that there's this Stats function in your blog page that tells you about the traffic flow of my blog (Yes, i'm a bit slow, just a tad bit, ok?) I havent been blogging much and I was quite shocked at the fact that people still come and check this page out. I dont think it would be worth people's time and yet, i was surpised at what I saw.

It wasnt the fact that my friends still pop by that shock me. It was the fact that people came through google.
Some while back, i think i posted a song about God's amazing grace- "I'm so not worthy but still you love me" and that was one of the hit that google led people here. Yup, thanks google.

It reminded me that people are searching for love. There's a void in all of us. We are always searching for something, dont you reckon? Yesterday's movie with the lims paints a good illustration. Faster, by the Rock. He was looking for revenge, the other guy was searching for adventure and thrill; the cop was searching for truth, the other was looking for a new life. See, everyone was searching for some form of answer that we have in our head. Or to answer a need, or perhaps, someone to love and someone who loves you back.

Not to sound arrogant, i think i've been very blessed and a lot of the times, i always get what i want, or sometimes, even more than what i expected. that's not because of how wealthy my parents are, or how spoilt i am, it's because of the greatness of my Jesus. Su Ann pointed out yesterday, I seemed to have things falling into my lap when i need them. I am indeed so blessed, and I dont wanna take it for granted or sound like a brat. but indeed, I have a heavenly Father who loves me and listens to my needs. House near the school zone, furnitures, rides to places, financial provision and most importantly, a group of people who i love and love me.

Technically, i have it all, but yet, being human, I am still searching for MORE. There's always a desire for something better, materialistically, emotionally and spiritually. Hence, the void is filled and very quickly empty again.
I guess, that's when the lies of the enemy come in. Are you really satisfied? Do you really think that's good enough? You deserve better.. blah blah blah. and you make an unfair trade.
you (i'm speaking to myself too) entertain negative thoughts and think things unworthy of your time. Then you worry and lost your joy. From there onwards, it's a downwards spiral unless you realise and actively puts a stop to it.

I guess, we all have to realise that it's ok to search for something better (there's when improvement comes in?) but i think there's a difference with searching aimlessly like a headless chook and finding for something. When you look for something, do you have the hope that you will find? Or are you just looking, because you know if you didnt try, you wont be at ease but you're not searching whole heartedly? I wonder how God searches our heart? I wonder what is was like when the shepherd went and look for the 1 lost sheep and leaving the herd of 99? I'm wondering what the person on the other side felt when he/she was feeling when he/she google - "i'm so unworthy"?

You know, when you type in something in google, and hit the search button, you expect results to answer your search, right?

I pray that you find what you're looking for. I pray that you find and see God's goodness in the process of looking for the things your heart yearns for.

Matt 7:7
Seek and you will find.

"Friendships and relationships are such blessings from God"

Who? Joanne (Li Yin) and I.
Where? Dvd's car
What? Driving down Williams Rd to return keys to Steven

Street light. Worship music. Eyes fixed on the road as I was driving. Yet, such profound statement could not leave my head.

Indeed, they are blessings from God.

YOU make me smile!

Life. is. so. beautiful.

I was doing dishes the other day. Jon, Ash and Sooks were sitting at the dining table, watching some youtube of possibly some Chinese artist and digging into the tub of strawberry icecream that never seems to reach the end.

I stepped back, took myself out of the picture.

And I realised.. if only the moment could freeze for a tad bit longer, before we bury our heads behind books again... ahhh.

It was like the tub of icecream. We can literally freeze the moments, because before we know it, it will start to melt. So, eat it while it's still cold!! Hence, in that few seconds, I thanked God for amazing people He surrounds me with.

On the combine service weekend, we went out to this super yummy, death by grease, awesome, uber bright pink American diners . Well, we took a massive detour whilst deciding but hey, I'm not complaining. Joyriding, indeed! Fully loving the new car - Dave and Li. YAY! now you can come pick me up and send me home! woot!! But, anyway, I am sooo excited that it is actually only less than one month away before Dave bids the tv in his room goodbye and welcomes his beautiful wife. I am so excited!!!! I am sooo excited (and it's not even my wedding! hahha)

That day, as I sat opposite them, and as I gaze across, this warm sense of fuzziness that is sweeter than the milkshakes that we ordered came upon me. I dont know why or how to describe it either. Perhaps its just the simple things in life, in sharing meals, going on car rides and gazing across the table. Or maybe it's just the discovery that they sell Gobbler

s (is that how you spell it? the peanutbutter and jelly in a tub jam spread thingy) or just the fact that you know- friendship doesnt change despite the chugging along of life.

I love this couple to bits! 29 days to go!! WOOT~

I've got sooo much more to write and so many more little things that make me smile to share. God has been so good to me!

Sunshine.

Car rides.

Sweet surprises in the mail.

Skype and immediate email responses to make sure that I'm coping ok.

Lunch breaks and outside day (and me ended up being a grass head!).

Early mornings and good nights.

YOU MAKE ME SMILE :)