tighten and loosen

Sometimes, i think i'm such an emotional being. I'm so heightened with emotions it's not funny! I was asking God today, why He created me this way, like why am i so full of it? haha. funny isnt it? but i guess, that's how we are different.

I realised that some people can just drop things and let go. but for me, i tend to hold things TOO close to my heart. It can be a good thing but not learning how to let go of something that may not seem to be detrimental, can be bad for me. Believe it or not, I still hold on real tight to a high school friend who had seemed to moved on in her life and probably never ever think of me ever. I wish i can be like SueLynn, dont care means not caring at all. but that's not me. Yes, I am quite emotional.
Guess that's why i carry so much joy too? Cos i am like that, the smiles, the laughters and all feelings, it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Joanne reminded me that we are SPIRITUAL being and not emotional being. We live by faith and not by sight! AMEN! But oh, please dont get too concerned about me. I'm ok. It's just a season that God is teaching me multiple things at the same time. I think He is teaching me how to multiple my joy and rechannel my sorrow to Him. It doesnt mean that being a Christian means cannot cry and must be happy chappy all the time. It just means that God has created me with feelings and I need to be wise with dealing with them.

I feel like i'm such a teenager! I'm on my way to discovering my identity in Christ. Oh trust me, it feels weird, but alot of things are coming out of my heart. i love people more. a bit too much at times that it hurts. and there's the whole deal about stregthening myself and protecting myself. It could sometimes be me needing other people more than them actually needing me. I dont know. its all so funny and so exciting this journal.

God showed me an image.



some areas of my life needs tightening and some areas need releasing. If the nut aint tight enough, the whole thing or machinary wont be able to stand strong and do its work. But if all the nuts are too tight, when going through any pressure, there would be no room for air or the pressure to let out, and it'll just end up not working, breaking from the inside out.

just prayed for a girl who had insomnia. poor girl but i also know that there is spiritual sense to it. God intends freedom but enemy come and steal kill and destroy. We need to put our guards up. but yet in the same time, know how to use a spanner well!!! right? and with exams coming up ... what a better time for this application!

so, it's all about the balance - discipline and taking a breather! YOU CAN DO IT!