I'M A NEW PERSON FROM TODAY ONWARDS :)

yes. i'm a new person on this very special day. 15th of august 2006. i was reborn at 1++am this morning. it is MY SPIRITUAL BIRTHDAY :)

i'm proud to announce that i've accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord, my saviour and i've prayed the sinner prayer. i'm a christian from now on. a new one but i'm learning and yearning to build a relationship with God. i want Him to lead me in my life, to be in my life and guide me, to live for a purpose and to make me a better person.

saying yes and i accept the gift from God isnt just an instantaneous thing. all along i've always been thinking and i KNOW that God is somehow present. i needed assurance when i was surrounded with temptations. and yesterday, i've gotten that assurance.

last nite, i went to alpha course and they spoke about how to build up the relationship with God - through the Bible. yea.. the guy shared a couple of verses and there's this one which really applied to me,

John 2 : 31-47
" You have never heard his voice, and you have never seen his form. 38 So you don't have the Father's message within you, because you don't believe in the person he has sent. 39 You study the Scriptures in detail because you think you have the source of eternal life in them. These Scriptures testify on my behalf. 40 Yet, you don't want to come to me to get [eternal] life."

yes. i've been reading books about Jesus and God but i was still so fearful and uncertained to go to Him and bow. it's like saying, no point reading the book when you dont apply it. the guy used a nissan car as an anecdote. u read the car mannual, memorise it but u just park ur car in the garage. hmmm? wat's the point? yea.. and it kinda slipped my mind after the alpha course finished.

anyhoo .. went to lee's room .. previously, i've already gotten a question from "purpose driven life" and i wanted to ask lee. so yea.. we were chatting and she offered to give me more stuff to read to guide me reading the bible. then as she casually took out the devotion booklet. kaboom!! the same verse appeared!

John 2 : 31-47
" You have never heard his voice, and you have never seen his form. 38 So you don't have the Father's message within you, because you don't believe in the person he has sent. 39 You study the Scriptures in detail because you think you have the source of eternal life in them. These Scriptures testify on my behalf. 40 Yet, you don't want to come to me to get [eternal] life"

Amen!

God is really speaking to me! i was SO SO shocked and stunned!!! i truly believe it! it wasnt like wat lee said, sheer coincidence. it is God!! :) :)

yet, straight after that, i was afraid and i still haf doubts.. i asked lee heaps and heaps of questions and she answered each and every single one of them patiently..thank God and thank lee!! :) but there still is a part of me struggling, even though she asked me twice, "are u willing to accept God?"

Some part of me REALLY REALLY want to and i kept having images of me being a good Christian, serving and helping ppl and i really want that to happen but the oddest thing is that i dint know why i was so afraid. i was sceptic i guess and i dint wanna do it cos of others. i know tat heaps of ppl will be very happy for me, but i want to do it for God and for myself. so, i was like praying and praying, asking God to give me the courage and i know there is DEFINITELY no harm but all the pleasant things instead in taking that step and i want to .. i WANT to! .. so yea..

i was thinking. i've gotten the reassurance that i used to say as a reason to wait and delay the acceptance. and in so many lil ways that God has worked his way through to tell me that He is the Lord. i need to take this step out to do all the great things He had instored for me. i prayed for courage and deep inside me, i know this is the RIGHT thing to do!! so .. as lee was worshipping, i nodded my head.



yup :) today is a new day and mark the start of my new life. i wanna share and thank all the people who are and will be happy for me in taking this step. so many already are. thanks lee, mak,jon and bing. thank you megan,shirley, tina, pat and twin. thanks yeen but above all thank God!!! :)

God, i just pray that You will use me to inspire others and bring more people to know you Lord. Lord, i pray for your guidance and strength in my walk with You. I know tat i'm so far away from perfect, but help me to learn to be a better person and to live up to the purpose you want me to, not of my own. God, i also pray for wisdom and strong will for me to hold and cling tightly to You, so that i will not be shaken by the temptations that are floating around me as You have told me that now, as i've accepted Jesus doesnt mean tat my life will be forever smooth-sailing but a challenging and exciting one. i really anticipate it and i want to grow closer to You and i want to do something so that You will be happy and proud of me. God, lead me and help me grow spiritually and use me so that i may make an impact through Your will and Lord, i thank you for everything, for the lil things that You do to allow me to gain faith in You and giving me the courage to say yes! Lord, i also wanna thank you for Leanne, she indeed is a very special creation of Yours and may i please ask You to bless her abundantly. and Lord, i wanna thank you too, for giving me the people who are always so encouraging and who are always there for me and encourage me to draw closer to you, thank you for people who have always been praying for me Lord. bless them! Lord, thank you for everything!

in Jesus name i pray
Amen