FRUITCAKE

God I pray that you take me out of my comfort zone. I pray that you break my heart to pieces for the poor and needy so that I will be driven beyond belief to look after them like you would. Father, forgive me for being so self centered. Forgive me for being all about me, myself and I. Forgive me for my sometimes stupid, ridiculous, religious opinions about absolute rubbish while people that you love and cherish suffer due to my inaction and selfish, consumer attitude. God forgive me and set me free from mammon and raise me up into a person of compassion and love like you are. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

GOD, I WANT TO BE THE FRUITCAKE!! HELP ME TO PERSEVERE AND NOT GIVING IN OR GIVING UP.

Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always persevere.

~1 Corinthians 13:7~

you obviously dont care.

why do i even wonder or dream?

PURITY

A shattered heart.
unmendable parts.
where does it start?



rejection
loneliness
insecure and fear
in the deepest of corner of my heart



Yet He whispers
and removes the thorns and cuts.
Come this way my dear one.

Unending love.
CLEAN HANDS PURE HEART.
look through the eyes,
of an innocent one.



I'll bring you through
and love you.
I'll never dessert you nor forsake you.
Take my hand, will you?








God's heart longs for our love. Sometimes, we let things run wild and we slipped, not living in accordance to the level that He has destined us to. You give in, you tolerate and it grabs hold of you. You compromised. Ever wonder why? It all starts with a "errrmmm.. i dont know.. but...."
Or, are we too busy to talk to Him, or even spend some quality time with Him?
What has He been talking to you about? Go deeper. Ask for more.

I've never felt the way i feel yesterday. It was so real and i missed His Presence so much. I miss how He wraps His arms around me and tells me that it's ok. I miss the intimacy that we used to have. He is the lover of our souls. At times, he's my friend, at times He's my Saviour King. but yesterday, he's my lover. it was sooo close. I should stop thinking about who's the right guy and when will he come. Cos' I've already found one. I wont let the enemy place thoughts and doubts in me, tempt me or break me. I've been too silly too many times to think that man will add a little "sha-zing". Yes, there's a longing. but try-hards and manipulation are not His ways. Go to Him. All that we need.

i love the song that illustrates it all so well.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full at His wonderful face.
And the things on earth will go strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace."

For some of you, you'll go, here she goes again, Christianity bombarding. NO! I'm just expressing how my heart feels. the innermost part. I'm being really open here and i want you to see it too.
Jesus is real and He longs for your acceptance and attention. Would you give Him a chance, to take you out? or simply, to be your pal?

hearty <3

have you ever get one of those hearty warm feeling after you spend some time with that person? It's not like you always talk on the phone, msn or having kept in touch AALL the time, but you know that deep down you're loved.you can just feel so comfortable and laugh as long and as loud as you want. you can gobble as much as you want and not worry about them giving you the stares. you can trust them to tell you the truth when you need to hear some. it's just this mushy feeling you get when you're with them.

a few people make me feel that way. I guess moments like this can happen all the time if you go and make time to create some. last Sunday was one of them.
I couldnt ask for more.

Thank you for making my day and night such a special one. I meant it when i said i felt like crying everytime we said goodbye.

quickie

Today's Prayer

Dear Lord, If tomorrow never comes on this earth, I pray that I will leave behind a testimony that points to you. Help me to live as if today were my last before entering eternity, for I know not what the day may bring. I pray that I will love others with a godly love, that I will be kind and considerate, that I will share who you are and what you have done, that I will smile at those I see throughout the day, that I will remember and pray for others, that I will appreciate every little thing and have an attitude of gratitude, that I will be honest and responsible in all things. Thank you for blessing me and loving me and filling me with your spirit. Please feed my soul and give me strength this day. May you be glorified and my family be blessed. May I touch lives and sow seeds throughout the day. In the name of my Savior I pray, amen.


I've been out on placement for a week. Come home rather tired at times, but am slowing getting the hang of it and knowing what to expect and help relieve the nurses a bit more. IT HAS BEEN GREAT!! despite morning shifts having to be up and ready to go by 6.15, it's AWESOME! i am enjoying every part of it :) the people - nurses and patients are really nice. i've been learning heaps from them and off them! Loving people doesnt have to be that hard, smiling and talking to people makes a whole lot of difference. I'm trying to do it better everytime!

it is annoying and depressing to me. i am trying to overcome it and i know that i definitely cant do this on my own. this is THE MOST DISASTEROUS thing that has ever happened but i know i can and i have to pull my acts together. it's truly by His Grace. i need it more than ever. DISCIPLINE, that's another key component that i need.
perhaps to you guys, it's nothing much. just another ramblings of hers. yes this truly is. so just let me do my thing!

ARGGGHHHH!!! i'm at the fatest stage of my life!! EVER! it is disgusting! >.< i have never seen the scale sway so much to the right side. it's gross.

i need to get serious and do something.
for those whose heads are saying " yea right mun yee, you're going to be bones and sticks if you go on a diet" can you please just keep them in your head. cos to me, i dont need the discouragement to GET A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! i need to get fit terribly much. to you, i may be normal or balanced. But this was not how i'm supposed to be. í've seen a healthier and fitter side of me and i'm really sick of how i am at my current stage.
yes. this is dealing with self-image. I know that I am created by God and i'm made perfect in His image. He created me well. Definitely! but i need to be disciplined as well. I've got to understand that my body is a temple for Holy Spirit and i need to keep it well :) i think this is also another season to show that God can really do anything!!!!

Ever since God knows when, the scale has just always been sky rocketting. it hardly go the other way, the preferred way. But, i really believe that God can help me with this. Seriously, some of you may even think that this is so silly. She's complaining about her gaining weight and there she goes, being super spritual, bringing God into the topic. YEA! I AM! cos, i've tried to loose the excess that i have with my own plans and strategies. i've tried!! but it's not working! and doing things on your own capability is so limited! it's so hard. i've learnt that i've gotta depend on God in EVERYTHING! and even in loosing weight. yeap. i'm dead serious!

i know this is gotta do with self-image, self-esteem and all that. perhaps, i am at the stage of bad judgement and placing high expectations on myself. I know i'm blessed enough to have certain things. but this is not what i'm after. I know and i've seen myself better. This is about discipline.
This is also about trusting God in every single aspect of my life. even the most ridiculous one - loosing weight.

i know He can help me! and just you weight (wait). when the testimony comes, i'll share with you how i did it and what's the plan that you could go on k/ dont worry, i'm not going to starve myself. NO WAY! we'll see alright/!

little things that makes huge differences in my life

i feel so blessed :) just today itself i've recieved 4 awesome stuff :D

tell me, i am loved or wat!

Beloved Trixie kindly borrowed me her laptop to use. Hence, i'll be able to go online more *Erhem cough cough* i mean do assignments and focus on my studies :)



Ai ling and gang - chenny andrew and jimmy .. we went and had an awesome fun night after church. eating away at nice ipoh food, dessert and even talked to this restaurant owner by random coincidence. it was a Godly thing. it was fun talking and being silly joking around with these guys!! :D

through this week, joanne, william and chunwei texted me to say hi and tell me how much they miss me and thought of me.
awwww...

teck keong generously took me out to this really nice place in south yarra for dinner. it was a staeak house. the food was real yummmmm.. it was that good that it made me scrap the idea about being conscious of wat i eat away. it was great stuff :D

Chenny due to his promotion, pay rise and recieving bonus has generously bought us koko black chocolate!! YUMMM :D


(that;s not the real exact thing of wat he bought us. but will get a pic of the real thing he bought us after i charge my camera :p )

but they are AWESOME stuff and i havent had koko black since i last had it with my sis 2 years ago maybe? tat place brings back memories. yeen, am i right? but surely God has been very kind, cos i needed it :)

and finally, the best surprise of all, KIWI BROUGHT A "SLICE" (is that wat you call it?) of DURIAN FOR ME!!
that's so sweet of him. i am proud to admit that i am a durian fan and durian brings back heaps of memories from home. family and friends.



YUUMMM .. thank you guys for showering gifts. it truly is the thought that counts :D :D :D :D :D thank you for making an impact in my life!

2 years anniversary

It'amazing how time flies. i had this song playing in my head.

"Our last summer"by Abba.
I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the sand, laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain.

it has been 2 years ever since i said yes. And ever since then, my life journey was never the same again. He has never left me nor forsaken me. Through times of joy and trying times with sorrow, His grace and mercy flows. His love never ceases.

some times life throws troubles at me, oh yea, but He's always there to hold my hand. name a few? house was broken into, loss my wallet in a foreign land, undergone loneliness, feeling of no one understand, falling sick, transitions, family disagreements, doubt. fear. rejection. blah bahblah. YET, there's always him. even when i wasnt looking to him, or expecting anything from him, his comfort is always there.

not only that, He laughs with me, makes me smile. brightens up my day and cheers me on! He shows me that there's power with love.

with him, there's always hope.
with him, there's always strength.
with him, there's always peace.
with him, there's always healing.
with him, there's always l.o.v.e.

thank you Jesus for this 2 years. i'm believing for greater things, cos there's defintiely more.

Praise

He is faithful through it all.

Psalm 27:13
I am still confident of this :
I will see the goodness
of the Lord in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.



Thank you for choosing me. For carrying me and encouraging me. I know You're gonna look after me. I just know it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO!!!!

STOP I SAY

i should be smart enough to know when to stop. stop putting myself in a position that i'll be so vulnerable that enables the enemy to inflict pain. seriously mun yee, GET SMART!

excuse me as i make a few mental notes.
stop being so stupid and living in fairy-airy land.
stop letting the enemy rob you of your joy and innocence

cant you see the cloud of witnesses in heaven cheering for you?
Dont you know that you're all that you can be according to His glorious riches in heaven?
wake up silly girl. stop day dreaming and procrastinating.
when is it enough to make me realise that it aint gonna produce fruits and there would be no ending to it.
stop looking down on urself. look up!

God, help me not to look to the right or to the left but to look ONLY unto you. i have been very silly to even dream and have hope on what i should have let you be in control to start off with. Lord, i lay them at your feet. When men fail and disappoint me, God, i know you never would. Even my efforts seemed to be in vain, God, i dun wanna rely on my own strength anymore. Father, i'm sick n tired of myself. Let You live in me, and kick my flesh some whooping ass. I dont want to strive anymore. Thank you for using incidents to teach me new things :) thank you from waking me up from further disillusions. You open n close doors Lord. You take control. You drive.
Thank you that i am able to make an impact. I wanna do more for you. to be your hands and feet. to show love. let me be focus at only the things of yours. This is my earnest prayer.

this is for those out there who reckons i should blog everyday.

:) though i may not know what's happening in your life, i pray that you'll continue to draw strength from Him.

Rev 7 : 17

For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.

What a beautiful verse. Dont cry anymore babe, or dont even think that u're unworthy. He loves you and He wants to wipe away every single tear that stream down you face. i love you too.

Hillsong conference 08 highlight

it made me cried. yes chloe, i was crying :p and i blamed it on my blocked nose. hehe.

Life IS really simple. basically, one word sums it all up - LOVE.
Loving God and loving people. That's it.

Yet, why cant we all do that with all our heart?

sydney and back

The journey to sydney has been amazing!! Really.. couldnt ask for something else. I reckon each time of these experiences would definitely change my life and being around with friends, the people you love, just purely make it so much more enjoyable and memorable!! :D

I realised that God's been sending out rainbows everywhere! We've seen a double rainbow during our trip while we were at some kangaroo national park place and it was very clear which was the lime light!! :) as Rachel said, Rainbows are symbolism of God's promises :D Listen to this! even the kids know! Mel taught me this song and i'm terribly missing her already!!! >.<


The whole trip has been awesome and i've been eating TOO much that my sis said that i've gotta start exercising to loose some weight!! *gulp* shaikz! but i've already .. well attempting to develop a timetable!! my timetable, apart from tues and friday i could kinda get days off.. i have like massive breaks in between for wednesdays and thursday!! GRRR yes. sucks to be me! >.< trying to think of stuff that i could possibly do to fill up my time!! like what i'm doing now!!

Anyhoo, short note to these 2 awesome people!!

Jo - i'm praying for your complete healing as you venture out to taiwan :) i'm believing for miracles for you even as you lay down your life and serve

Jia Mien!!! happy 20th!! i know it's a lil late now, but i;ve wished you and i just wanna SAY A MASSIVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU PRETTY WOMAN!!! :p

(psst. so much for planning to do some homework! hehe :p)

Well, no matter wat, there's always time for this!!
PRAISE REPORT!

I just wanna thank God for this lil bump and situation that i'm going through right now! I've lost my purse on the very last day of my sydney trip. I'm not too sure how did it happened. We were at an outdoor cafe and was just having an awesome time chilling out and stuff. I took my purse out, paid Cat and put it back in and left my bag at the back of my chair, then enjoying myself at the indulgence of chocolates! :) yumm. Prior to us leaving, Mel asked if i could break a change, as i reached for my wallet, it went missing. We looked around and conducted a search team!! haha. bins, floor, people. but no where to be found.

if you were thinking, what's so good about this? i lost my purse. IDs and everything, knowing that a woman's purse contains the world!

well, YES i still have HEAPS of reason to PRAISE GOD!
we were flying that day, so thank God that this incident happened in the afternoon, when we were just relaxing and having heaps of time to calm ourselves (me) down and lodge police report and other procedures.

Also, as this is a domestic flight, i could have just used my drivers liscence as my form of identification to board the plane but somehow, for some unknown reason, i brought my passport along with me and therefore that day, i had no problem at all trying to board my plane due to lack of ID - yes, i store all my cards and IDs in my purse and it's all gone.

not only that, Aaron appeared so timely at the cafe. When he came, i just realised that my purse had gone missing. Being the typical business working man, he was very efficient and got hold of all the banks that i needed and helped me made all the calls. well, he dialed i did all the talking but still. the bank cards and stuff were settled within 15 minutes!

Not only that, Jimmy aka teck keong also owed me heaps of money. He has the cash with him that afternoon and was just showing ( could also be considered as flashing ) the cash towards me from his wallet. Somehow, i didnt ask for them and he didnt bother returning them to me either. it was a huge amount. and THANK GOd that they werent returned. cos it would have gone missing with my wallet!

YEA !! SO PRAISE GOD PRAISE GOD!!

you think that's it?? NO!!!

actually, i've been spending alot during this trip and for this trip. Hence, i was really asking God for a financial breakthrough as my the amount in my bank goes less n less. when such thing happen, i was like a lil shock! seriously, i've never experienced incidents like this. i dun wanna point finger and said that it has been picked, cos i'm not very sure what happened either. it could be my fault not keeping it safe. but i was like i need money not loosing money. (oh yea, thank God i paid mel and cat off that afternoon so i didnt really have much with me then) So, yea.. i told God, whatever it is i'm believing for it to come back to me- my purse and money!
True enough, God has been looking after me well!! Monday, meiching paid me 40bucks from a breaky that i dun mind buying them. and yesterday another friend said that she wanna pay me back for some other stuff as well!! so yea. guess it's all been looked after and i dun really need to worry.

it'll be back! i believe...

w.o.w

i love the way God works
like how He puts you through valley to see His majesty. AWWW .. it's amazing. I had an amazing encounter with Him yesterday that never happened this way before.

I somehow ended up babysitting for my ex-neighbour's kids yesterday though i tot initially tat i was gonna have the night to myself. somehow, i managed to get to their house and do my thing. and even better, i was blessed greatly. they paid me more than i deserved. when i needed a financial providence! But that's not the end of the story.
It began when i reached. i wanted to watch Christian tv cos i knew that there's this massive revival happening at US and it's been powerful!! LIKE AMAZING! and prior to that was Joyce Meyers. So, i was like WOW. this is gonna be super cool mann! (in case you wonder wat the kids were doing, they were sleeping)

ok, i shall be very honest. Seriously, last week or so i felt like UGH.. aint at the top but i'm still perservering. now's like the season to go home and i really got a lil homesick, especially when jo and boss were there, jimuis hanging out and havent seen my family for so long. it aint great when it came together with all the emo music. nah-uh. not a good idea. but u know what, i've learnt that through times like this, it's time to stand strong and put into practice what you've been hearing. it's time to ACT upon the word of God. preach to yourself, let your spirit hear the word. it's awesome!

anyway, the story goes like this. i was watching tv - on Joyce Meyer's msg which really spoke to and i'm trying to apply it but more of that next time. as i was enjoing the show, suddenly, the tv goes



not tat bad but it went kapow blank. and i was then left alone, with nothing to do. but it's during then that God speaks to me the most, when there's no distraction at all. and i found this stuck on their fridge. SO GOOD

PATIENCE

Patience is coping with people's faults and failings
Patience is controlling your attitude when you wanna loose it
Patience is not raising your voice when u're angry
Patience is a soft answer
Patience is giving ppl more time than you should
It's bearing with people while they learn what you already know
Patience will make you 'complete' , the Bible says ' lacking nothing'
Patience is waitinf for people and doing it great
Patience is not huffing, sighing and 'losing it'
Patience is ruling your Spirit

Be patient! with others, yourself and God! The timing of God is perfect

Patience is nourished through trials, strengthened through pressure. Whatever that you're failing now, it increases your capacity. Increased capacity increase your success.

Be patient, it will surely comes to pass.

BORED

I'M SO BORED AT HOME!!

currently i'm so bored at home. i know i can do a quite few things but i'm somehow not doing them. i'm just drowning myself with thoughts and memories. why do i do this to myself? sigh*


i wanna cry but i cant
there's just too many goodbyes and hello again. cant i just pretend that i dont care?

i wanna go home. take me home.
teach me how to stay focus and stay strong.
please hold my hand. i cant do this alone.
how long more

the call

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

i'm done

i'm finally.. FINALLY done with exams :D after 2 weeks of watching chloe partying, it's finally my turn! mwahahhaha :D

weirdly, it didnt feel as though i've got no strings attached. my room is still in a BIG mess that i'm yet to tidy up.
coming online has made me realised that i've got a whole heap of stuff to do and it just stressed me out. why do i do this to myself >.< GRRR. anyway, it's good. i love challenges. only when i get through them! NOW, they ANNOYING me. and i wanna sleep. but sigh...

anyway, i pampered myself with a movie n lunch after my final paper.

i watched sex and the city. i was a lil put off by the title of the movie as well but after reading caleen's strong recommendation, i decided to give it a shot :P

it turned out to be very enjoyable. it made me thought and connected some dots.

the movie talks about friendships and relationship





cant u see the resemblance?





i made me think alot about us. haha. more about that later. but seriously guys! i cant wait for this day! :D




hehehe. do let my imagination run wild a lil :) i seriously look forward to the day when one of u girls (or even myself) walk the aisle! :D :D :D

WOW

it's one of my WOW moments :)

I've just received something that i didnt really even asked for, well i kinda did ask for something but it just came totally unexpected! Thank you God :)



and no i didnt buy a chocolate bar and casually open it to find it. a random stranger gave it to me at the train station. when it was one of the very few times where i go home alone after church :) i usually have train buddies or somehow bumming into other ppl. but today, just felt that God is going to take me home, so i went and taadaaah. a guy blessing me with a free chocolate bar :) how cool :) :) and i felt bad always receiving, so i made him an origami while i was on the train :p since we ended up boarding the same train. i should have the courage to talk to him but i was shy >.< and i really wanted to study at first cos i'm having



flagrace prac exams on tues. knowing anatomy with all the names, it does take alot to fully grasp it.

but guess wat i ended doing during my entire train ride? praying for tat dude :) :)

i guess everything that we do, it was all for love.








anyway, for those non-responsive readers who always check me blog, ladies, i want you to know that you ARE a



and God has his eyes on you.







and a lil update from my cubby. i should be embarrassed to even put this up. sigh but well. studies has made me neglect my room. winter cleaning right after exams mann

my bin is disgusting



my table is uber messy



i duno why i have the time to even take photos n put it up.
but i know one thing for sure tat i'll ALWAYS always want to make time for





for my Greatest One and the Only One.
i love you.

YAY!

next sem i've definitely gotten fridays off!!!! :D :D :D

and the best news is maybe i could get tuesdays off as well!! hehehehe :P YAY!




i know i should be studying instead of planning for next sem but i just cant bring myself to it. please pray for me.