3 Questions.

I'm loving urban life more and more! =) and it's SOO awesome!!

i am challenged with 3 questions yesterday and i shall leave you to think about it too!

How do you love God?
How do you love yourself?
How do you love others?

random thoughts

i always believed that God wants us to be happy and to enjoy ourselves. He grieves with us whenever we cry our heads off and whenever we were clouded with sorrow.

sometimes, it's so easy for us to be deluded and to stray into the enemy's trap of being concealed in our own world - MY feelings, MY desire, MY wants. and A LOT of times, we can do what others expect of us, we can put on this face of "I'm completely ok. I've got it all together. I'm jolly and happy". we can engineer ourselves to doing what we know is the right thing to do but not do it out of our hearts.

for example, i've now got my tute work, reading, in front of me. i know wat's expected of me. to complete my reading. i know wat i needed to do. but honestly, i dont enjoy reading it. it's SO BORING! i do it out of obligation instead of passion. I read cos i'm told tat i have to and i know if i dont my tutor would pick on me for the rest of the semester. so, i guess i'll have to at least skim read it and vaguely draw out some understanding out of it. but the outcome?

it aint useful when i do it half heartedly.
it is to no good at all. i waste my time. i waste my effort.
i didnt progress.

isnt it the same in life?

Chloe shared with me yesterday on what Ps Alex said during the offering message. "It is better to give than to receive".
i love it.
Apparently our brains are more stimulated when we give than when we received. WOW. how awesome!

for some period of time, or perhaps for a lil too long, i've been consumed in my world and how i want to do things MY WAY. i've always had it my way, so, giving in and not being so stubborn can be hard, especially when you're the eldest in the family.
also, for a while, i've been thinking a lil too much of my circumstance when i know that i should lay it at the alter of Jesus. when my heartaches n when i cut myself off, or the times when i had no space to shed my tears. i've been focusing on the things tat are important but not the MOST important of all.

i wanna pick up more things from where i left them last year.
i wanna be a person who gives.

i find it very AMAZING of how God can step in right away when you ask Him to heal your broken heart. i love the way the turns the focus and sets it on the things of everlasting.
i guess i cant turn back to the past -where it's all nice and easy, laid back and relaxing. but i know i can be slightly more disciplined and attack the devil in his face by being more obedient to Holy Spirit, and in the things that He has called me to do.
i know thinking about my situations, getting attention from people can be very tempting but i know i should set and cast them aside. i love how we can have TONNES of opportunity to be nice to ppl! and i shall start implementing some.

my faith goal - bless at least one person a day!

it is so achievable. dont you reckon :D :D

thinking about it puts a smile on my face already. cant wait to do it! see. that's how i think God wants me to enjoy doing whatever i'm doing!

To the Ends of the Earth

For those who havent heard, for this year's clinical placement, i'm based in WANGARATTA.

in case you dont know where it is, here's a map to help you out. i need to google it last night too.



it's 3 hrs away from clayton.
it's a rural city, ie. whoop whoop land.
chloe and i were looking up on the net what's there to do and how many ppl actually live there. (28000 if you really wanna know)
my hospital has only 34 beds! T.T wat am i to do?!!

i nearly cried when i first found out where i was at and when i had to do it. during my midyear break. great! >.< so now, u'll know where i'll be spending my winter. away from home, away from home. siggh.
this morning when i woke up i didnt even wanna get out of bed with that tot stuck in my head. i tot i could sleep it off or so. but then.. i woke up worrying n just plain yuck!

but you know wat?

i talked to my Father in heaven about it. i had early morning. an hour of nothing. i spent it with him. He led me to this AWESOME spot and led me to this song.

Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all you are

And I would give the world to tell you're story
'Cause I know that you've called me
I know that you've called me
I've lost myself for good within your promise
And I won't hide it
I won't hide it

Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go, to the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you alone are the son of God
And all the world will see
That You are God
You are God

now, it kinda falls into place.

:'/

Sometimes the right things arent always the easiest things to do. but i'm trying.
I'm going to continue trusting
I'm going to continue praising
I'm gonna continue living
I'm gonna continue loving.

" When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better."

Rick Warren

thank you for picking me

One, two, three
Counting out the signs we see
The tall buildings
Fading in the distance
Only dots on a map
Four, five, six
The two of us a perfect fit
You're all mine, all mine

And all I can say
Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me
Yeah you picked me

So softly
Rain against the windows
And the strong coffee
Warming up my fingers
In this fisherman's house
You got me
Searched the sand
And climbed the tree
And brought me back down

And all I can say
Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me
Yeah you picked me

hun, it's me who should thank you for picking me. i miss you. watching that video makes me cry again.

Write You A Song <3

I don't know how to make lots of money
I got debts that I'm trying to pay
I can't buy you nice things, like big diamond rings
But that don't mean much anyway
I can't give you the house you've been dreaming
If I could I would build it alone
I'd be out there all day, just hammering away
Make us a place of our own

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

I don't know that I'd make a good soldier
I don't believe in being violent and cruel
I don't know how to fight, but I'll draw blood tonight
If somebody tries hurting you

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

Now that it's out on the table (it's out on the table)
Both of us knew all along (knew all along)
I've got your loving and you've got my song

I don't know how to make lots of money
I don't know all the right things to do
I can't say where we'll go, but the one thing I know
Is how to be a good man to you
Until I die that's what I'll do

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without
I will write you a song (I will write you a song)
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong (love is still strong)
I will write you a song
And you know from this song that I just can't go on without you


This is the sweetest song that came across my itunes today :D i'm feeling so loved, despite the mess i've been surrounded by, stuff flying everywhere. REALLY DESPERATELY need a maid. hahahaha.

Dad's coming over this week. i'm not sure how i'm feeling :S but i think i'll be fine :)

till then, keep writing people songs! :)

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

when you've gone

after all the laughters and awesome times that you brought me through.
i'm left alone in my room.
i cant help but to feel the aches in my heart.
tears wouldnt come out. i hope it's not because i'm getting used to it.
it still hurts.

i'll miss you.
promise me you'll still tell me stories.
promise me you'll be better than you are now.

i'm drowning myself in emo music
when you're gone, pieces of my heart are missing you.
faces i known are missing too.



Lord, help me to stay strong.

phonecalls

dear mr stranger friend,
please tell me who you are. i know that we're friends but i cant hardly stand the suspense anymore. please reveal yourself!

i'm back from bali and headed straight to pd and melaka.



i love bali with what's it gotta offer. and i love my roadtrip with people dearest to my heart.




<3

i had the best valentines week ever :)


.........................................................................


anyway, i woke up today, feeling a lil emo and just had my reflective cap on. i was thinking about how when valentines is around the corner, there's always a sense of "love is in the air" mode and on the contrary, the increase sense of insecurity amongst ppl. the question of - how u spending your day, or you taking anyone out is always round the ear. i always wonder why.

but i guess, this valentines, i've grabbed hold of a few things. the need to express your appreciation and your love towards the ppl around you. perhaps it's PDS - pre departure syndrome. i duno, with friends heading to various parts of the world and a couple of farewells and "I'LL MISS YOU"... i couldnt help but to remind myself that in a week's time i'll be in that position too. i tot i've had enough experience of saying goodbye and i'll-see-you-again-before-you-even-know-it. i tot i was a pro. but i guess i'm just a human being with emotions. (and i'm glad i am! hehe)

i was doing my devotions today. it's talking about sowing and reaping. "whoever who sows grudgingly and sparingly shall receive grudgingly and sparingly. whoever who sows generously will reap generously". today only i realised that it doesnt only apply to financial situations, but also in terms of love. Joyce meyers encourages us to GO THE EXTRA MILE.

simple things like holding the door for someone, sending text messages that puts a grin on their faces, cook up a meal, tell someone you love them goes real far down the road. God gives us amazing ideas on how to bless others. just ask. i've actually asked before and guess now, i've just gotta put them into actions :) ( i guess the problem with me is that i'm too lazy to actually do the things i intended! uggghh)

so , do something that will brighten another person's day. you'll see how much u enjoy doing it too!

do something that blesses the Father too!

i will.

thank God for friends like youS!!!!

thank God for sending me such awesome friends :)

















i couldnt ask for more.

(due to the previous laptop with another 10000 photos had been stolen, there are lots of ppl tat i'm trying to include but didnt have the photo of.. it'll come in time. i appreciate u too!)

HELLO 2009

Guess what i did at the very last day of 2008 and the very first day of 2009?
i watched the last few episodes of Moonlight Resonance. MaNN!! i now understand how truly addictive hk drama series can be!but well well.. FINALLY. i'm over the phase now. NO MORE DRAMA SERIES FOR THIS HOLS! i've done my quota for this season :P

Anyway.. this morning, as i woke up recapping how the year has gone past.. i realised,
in this year, so many had happened. good and bad, high and low.

In this year,

I roller bladed for the first time, he was there to hold my hands, so was she :)
I walked someone down the aisle, cos he has already told me that it would happen on that very appointed day.
I had a very awesome group of friends, we were (are) like family and thank God, cos He's always in the middle.
I'd lost my wallet in a foreign land, he was there to cheer me up.
My house was broken into, he gathered the people around me telling me that it would be ok.
this year, i'd missed out on thousand opportunities to make a difference
i've been loved more than i had loved.
i've tried and failed. but at the same time, i've also tried and seen the victory.
i've done some silly lil fun things too.. i went for picnic in malaysia for the first time.
i went somewhere real far for food
i dressed up a fair amount due to a fair few occasions - urbs, birthdays, balls. all of great memories.
i made some short clips and videos for the first time.
i've learnt to trust and believe. but i'm still learning to trust more and dare to believe for more.
i've had the priviledge of seeing kids touching God.
i've seen His goodness and faithfulness.
i'd had an accident that was not so much of a misfortune but a blessing, that truly opened up my eyes to bigger things.
i've shed tonnes of tears, missing people near and far.
i've seen doors being shut right in front of my face.
i converted a hk drama series anti to a fan ;p (it'll be so awesome if i can do that MORE FOR JESUS!)

but this year.. i'm also continously learning to let go.
letting go of the things that God told me to, that arent so good for me.
letting go of the things that werent meant to be.
letting go of sorrow and unforgiveness. I'm still learning.
letting go of hurts and disappointment.

Someone in bible college told me today, "there's often greater rewards if you waited." yes. this marks the start of my waiting season. but it's ok. greater rewards towards the end. HOORAY!

God told me to get ready for this year. I know bigger challenges are gonna come my way. but I know even better that I'm not alone in this journey. NEVER alone! cos.. this coming year.. i know there's greater victories!! :D
i tried to think of new year's resolution. it's prolly just the same o ones. cos they're too hard to ever get marked off the list.
so .. this year i'm simplifying my resolution to a short one, instead of a massive list.

1. to stay closer to Jesus.
2. to love people.
3. KAM FEI SENG GONG!

hhaahhaa. the final one is just for a laugh! :P kam fei so hard.. i'm so not discipline.. tat would take some while. but first 2 are harder to do.. but it should be ok :D

<3

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR

I've had one of the busiest christmas ever. and it was good. Thank God for my sister's boldness to rededicate her life to Jesus, coming back to him again. It was the best thing and the best christmas gift i could ever asked for :)

christmas luncheon with the yiweiclan.
CCC christmas reflection production.
christmas dinner at relatives'.

That was my day. but of course, the moment i woke up. i didnt forget to wish the BIRTHDAY BOY A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY =) He's the best :D

I've been reading "God came near" by max lucado. it's awesome. so many of us needed to have a divine surgery to have our eyelids cut open to see Jesus. we passed by so many things that reflect His glory and majesty. Yet, we failed to see His hands upon it. i shall copy this paragraph that i read today. it's so beautifully true.

"The world was different this week. It was temporarily transformed. The magical dust of christmas glittered on the cheeks of humanity ever so briefly, reminding us of what is worth having and what we were intended to be. WE forgot our compulsion with winning, wooing and warring. We put away our ladders and ledgers, we hung up our stop watches and weapons. We stepped out off our race tracks and roller coasters and looked outward toward the star of Bethlehem.

It's the season to be jolly because, more than any other time, we think of him. More than in any other season, his name is on our lips. All of a sudden, he's everywhere.

Emmanuel. God with is. He is with us. God came near.

... If he can do so much wit hsuch timid prayers lamely offered in December, how much more would and could he do if we thought of him everyday?"


perhaps, you've heard that Jesus is the reason for the season.
what does it mean?
what is Christmas to you?
Personally, i think Christmas is just the mark of something amazing - when God from His majestic throne came down in human form, out of love. it's the birth of a King. The King of kings. and it doesnt end here.
He heals.
He delivers.
He redeems.
He cares.

and it doesnt stop just on Christmas day. everyday should be Jesus-day. seriously, who can have too much love?

BOLD

i read this in my devotions today.

If we intend to succeed at being ourselves, we must reach a point where we can be led by the Holy Spirit. Being led by the Spirit does not mean that we dont make mistakes. The Holy Spirit doesnt make mistakes, but we do. Following the Spirit's leading is a process which can only be learned by doing. WE start by stepping out into things we believed God is putting on our hearts, and we learn by wisdom and experience how to hear more clearly and definitely.

Boldness is required to be led by the Spirit because,
1. Only boldness step out.
2. Only boldness can survive making mistakes.
When insecure people make mistakes, they often will never try again. Bold people make many mistakes, but their attitude is "I'm going to keep trying until i learn to do this right".

Those who suffer from condemnation usually dont believe they can hear from God. Even if they think they may have heard from God and do a step out, a minor mistake is a major setback to them.

Be bold. Be determined that you are going to be all God wants you to be. Dont hide behind fears nad insecurities any longer. If you have already made blunders in your life and have been living under condemnations because of them, this is the time to PRESS ON! you're reading this for a reason, I encourage you to take this message personally just as though God's talking to you directly through it.

Be determined to press on toward victory.






mmm. give some thoughts to it. BOLDNESS. i want some.

heart of greed

i've been recently hooked into watching this drama series. thanks to ben! haha :P i guess i'm a lil emotional when it comes to watching drama series. hk ones especially!! GRR.. but anywayz.. i totally love this song.

makes my heart melt.


MY LOVE WILL GET YOU HOME

CHRISTINE GLASS

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.


see, if you swap BOY with GIRL and if this song is sung by God to us. AWWW .. even more meaningful.

truly, his love will get us home.

run.

fun.

too dee dum. i want to choo ra youuu.
come. please.

LOST AND FOUND

I CANT FIND MY USB THUMBDRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

hahaha. sorry about tat.
It's just that it can be really annoying loosing stuff. I guess this year has been a year of loosing stuff for me. i HATE it! GRR. but then, most of the time it is my fault for misplacing them, being a messy unorganised person. I can now relate to the woman who lost her 2 coins in the bible. It said that she looked up and down, swept her whole house to look for it- just because they meant something to her. They are, to her, of some value.

My USB is definitely of GREAT value to me!! :P when my lappie got stolen, i was utterly depressed, not because of the fact that someone came in and grab things that belonged to me, but because of the PHOTOS and the memories that it has stored. This week, i just felt God saying, those are by gones. Time to move on and make new ones. I didnt quite get it. but if i do, i'll share more. Anyway, yea. i tot all forms of memories of the past are GONE but God has proven his faithfulness and goodness to me the moment i used my usb to see that i've actually backed up my photos in it!!! WOW! u had no idea how thankful i was. but then, i guess i kinda taken it for granted that i wont loose my usb.. and now. i've misplaced it!! GRRRRRRR. so angry at myself.

isnt it amazing how when we've lost something, something that's close to our heart, we wouldnt stop thinking about it, we'd searched up and down for it and do everything within our might to retrieve it.
I was once lost too. Actually, not once. too many times i was lost.
I've lost my way countless times.
I've lost the sense of belonging when others failed and disappointed me,
I've lost my purpose when i dun know why on earth am i still living.
I've lost loved ones along the way
I've lost my vision.
I was lost.
but God found me and upholded me.

He has paid the price by dying for us on the cross. and then we've gone missing when we decided to take things into our own hands. Yet, He is soooo good. He never gives up looking and searching for us. When I thought he would have given up, especially when you know, after you turn the whole house around, trying to look for a tiny thing, you're covered with dust, you're tired, you come to a point when u'll say "forget it, i'm getting a new one". God could have done that, but instead, He didnt. WHY? because you're priceless to his eyes. You're valued. He has shared some memories with you, whether you know it or not. when you were created, the fact that you're still breathing, he's all part of it! So, He continued searching and waiting. Looking and anticipating that perhaps, under that pile of mess, you're hiding there.
He reaches down and when you realised that you cant camouflage between the pile of mess and junks, He's already grinning and hugging you.
This is my God. He longs for you to return to His arms. Stop camouflaging between the pile of mess that you thought no one could find you. Stop hiding. Come home. Come back to Jesus.



wow. i'm shocked. i was just thinking of asking people if anyone seen my usb could let me know where it has been but OK, God told me and directed this out. i'm so glad to be the first one reading it.

USB! COME BACK TO ME! ;p
and you who dont know Jesus, GO BACK TO HIM! (or you can always talk to me :)

FRUITCAKE

God I pray that you take me out of my comfort zone. I pray that you break my heart to pieces for the poor and needy so that I will be driven beyond belief to look after them like you would. Father, forgive me for being so self centered. Forgive me for being all about me, myself and I. Forgive me for my sometimes stupid, ridiculous, religious opinions about absolute rubbish while people that you love and cherish suffer due to my inaction and selfish, consumer attitude. God forgive me and set me free from mammon and raise me up into a person of compassion and love like you are. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

GOD, I WANT TO BE THE FRUITCAKE!! HELP ME TO PERSEVERE AND NOT GIVING IN OR GIVING UP.

Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always persevere.

~1 Corinthians 13:7~

you obviously dont care.

why do i even wonder or dream?