helloo!!

why hello there!! i know i havent blogged for a while. but here's a BIG CHEERS to internet at home!
WOAH! finallllyyy! :p

I've been up to quite a fair bit actually. and i realised that i havent really been updating. either through blog or emails. i shall do lots of catch up with that! AMG! watch out. long email coming.

i've been yes. eating lots



and trying to work as hard as i can



and in between those two, i'm fitting in with lots of sleeping and catching up with people.

just a random thought, to keep it short, so that i can get back to work - God is so patient, even though He is jealous for your love, He lets you venture out, and secretly, patiently long for your return and realize ultimately that HE is all you need.

this song is beautiful!

I am the one, THIS is the place, NOW is the time.

well said.





more updates coming, if i have the time and internet gets connected by this week. i've missed you

this goes out to a friend far far away

i thought of you emoing to this song when i heard the lyrics.
praying for you.
please know that Jesus is mighty to save and HE reaches down to your heart. it's not that hard to turn back to him. you know it!
i love you and even tho you dont tell me everything, know that i dont need to know them all. i just wanna go through this journey with you and be there for you.

a call for prayer

I know i havent really been updating. i've been busy. afterall, it's Chinese New Year and Valentines Day double celebration! :)
Somehow, the beginning part of it, i wasnt really looking forward to it. not really that negative. it's just, somehow, the excitement seemed to be less in comparison to last year's. i dont know why either.

perhaps the thought that i have less than 3 weeks remaining in malaysia scared me a little. the thought about making my holiday count quickens my heart. from today onwards, i realized that i only have 10 days remaining. honestly, i dont know what have i done that has impacted people. i'm just praying that somehow seeds are scattered. i havent really met up with alot of ppl yet and i sense the urgency of it. God, multiply my time pls?

well, apart from that, i've been really good. havent opened up my angpaus yet but i know i've gotten less in comparison to last years :( quantity but hopefully the content is wayy more! ;p for cny, i ate. visited relatives. ate. talk. ate. played with kids. ate. went to cameron with family. ate. saw lots of fireworks near my house. ate. thought about few things. ate. drove a lil. ate. slept. ate. talked to ppl i met for the first time ever. ate. yep. eating is sandwiched in between all my other activities. yeap. i've been good.

but, something struck a relative who is really close to my aunty. the news of it broke my heart and hearing the description of the situation brought tears into my eyes. this young man, 20 years of age, was involved in the car accident whilst my family were busy having fun in cameron highlands. My aunty watched him grow up and hearing that news broke her hearts and many who knew him. The accident had robbed 3/4 of his brain, 3 spinal vertebrae, pierced his lungs and he's now in critical stage, admitted in ICU. He was just the passenger who kindly offered his company whilst the driver send another friend back home. The driver had lost both his legs and is safe while this young bloke, is still in coma. Dr said that it will all depends on tonight.

His parents had been crying, in shock, fear and anxiety. if i were in their shoes, i would really not know what to do! and i heard that they've already lost one son. this is perhaps alil too much for them to handle, especially on this CNY festive season. all his friends and relatives rush in to see him, just in case its the last goodbye, and also to be there for the family. i saw the redness of my cousin's eye when the news broke out. i know that they so wanna be there. all his friends and colleagues came. all came out in tears.
i had to hold on to mine to, just hearing the story. i dont even know him personally.
so,

please pray for him. his name is hong. tonight is the critical stage. declare hope and healing into this young man's life.

rambles

just came back from hanging out with AMG and Ji muis.

this song is currently stuck in my head. i jumped on youtube and found this pretty cute video.

2 is better than 1. sounds familiar? (With wedding bells ringing everything, i think it would be everywhere! ehehe )

I cant believed how time has flown! technically, i am left with 3 full weeks and off i go back to melbourne. I really dont know how to feel. God has been sooo good to me. Today, i've learnt that

Despite God's Presence being omnipresent, we still need to cultivate it!

If only we all realised that there's so much power and authority and joy in His Presence. I knew there was a reason for such sense of longing and strong desire of going to church. Even though it was only 1 thing, it was worth it! (but obviously there were more than 1 revelations)

anyway, as i was showering, i realised there are some people that I love and some that loved me more than I could in return. And like Jo's Mum said, a lot of times, we have put ourselves higher than we ought to and we have forgotten how to love others. It's a lil slow but i realised that some people, I could just sit, eat and talk with for a lifetime.

the future i see? growing old with people like these! :D

oh. i forgot to put this thought down.

"good things come to those who waits"

and..

should i change to tumblr?

hello MALAYSIA!

been back in malaysia for 2 weeks now. havent been up to much but i'm treasuring my holiday. somehow this time it's different. less of hanging out with friends, more alone time, more family time. God spoke to me to make my holiday count. i dont know how but i want to make it count. and the trip down to malacca had taught me that if i am willing to allow God to interceed, He will make that happen! and i am soooo excited!

anway, for the past 2 weeks, I had a haircut,

met up with the yi wei family and was ben's driver for his last day. i love hanging out with that boy! he is so special to me!

had the most amazing weekend with my ai mei gang. these people are so close to my heart and has taught me so much about God. They stir me on further for the things of God.

this holiday has truly been different but i'm loving it!

havent been up to much. but surely i've ate HEAPS!











going off to bangkok in 2 hours! i'm so excited! havent had proper family trip in years!

2010 so far

my cap just re-rolled over. i get to go on the net again! woohoo :) makes life lots easier!

so, 2010 so far...

if i get the timetable preferences as i willed it, my schedule would be like this!



it's been an awesome start to the year. wayyy more eventful than ever. and i've also begun to look more into the deeper issue.
the inside of me.

Allan, Dant, Lik and i went to the beach the other day. Allan spoke of something which was so simple, yet so profound.

Enjoy the very moment, whatever comes come and you'll know what to do when it comes.

so true hey? most of the time, we (well, i've) spent wondering what would happen and getting too consumed in the things of the future, or more like my fantasy land. Too consumed, that's right. too consumed to the extent that i've become too innocently and naively oblivious to things. Too many things.

I'm so thankful for sisterly figure like Li who nags me past midnight (and she reckons that i secretly like being nag) haha.
She sees the things that I dont see. or, too blur to notice.

so, this year.. God has whispered a few things to me that is somewhat my resolution.

LOVE.
seriously, i am learning how to love.
prior to thursday, i was thinking about unconditional love. giving my all love. loving those who are hard to love. be there to comfort the hurting and stand with those who are easily shaken. but hey, there's more to love than i thought.
i need to learn how to love wisely. say no or sorry, not interested when i know that's the right thing to do to not hurt them.
i need to learn how to not be nice out of love. when to move on, and not feel guilty about the things of the past.

this summer has been such an interesting one. my heart aches for those whom i love. it aches for mum when grandma passed away. it aches for a friend when he settles for second best in life. it aches for another when the girlfriend was uncertained about their future. it misses those who are far away..

dont get me wrong. i'm not all emo. God has been tremendously good to me.
cos' the other whisper i heard was such an awesome comfort.

"There it is. there it is."

Such gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. Everything that i need, it is found in Him. All the joy, smiles, healing and comfort, flows from Him. So friends, thank you for the awesome company and all the great and lil things in life. i know there it is.
in bike rides and pastas, in sitting round the dining table and moving chairs, in hot bbq and under cool AC, in christmas and new years, in photos and movies. in lazing on the couch to playing bball.
there it is.
so near. so close.

Maccas free wifi is the best!!

I've been so disconnected from the world and now doing my blog catch ups after work.

Hello 2010. I am sooo excited and can't wait for
to see more of God. So many stories to tell. Of only I can bring my lappie and spend the whole day here.

Short update - everything is good. I've moved and now I'm just busy moving in and unpacking. Still looking for another female housemate if anyone knows of someone needin a room.
New years was great. Different from the ones of my past but it was good.

Deep inside, I miss still miss home and with Christmas and new years away, it felt as tho smtg is missing.
It's not like I don't have a great time, don't get me wrong. I had a fantastic time.


It's just ... Different.

Maybe this was how the little birdie feel like when it first flapped it's wings and flew out of home.

Art of LOVE

This song has been playing in my head for the entire day and i finally bought it off itunes.



i'm still learning the art of love :)

my first christmas in melbourne. in short. i have learnt heaps and i am learning to understand the hope and joy and unwavering love that we have in Jesus.

On Christmas morning, i recieved a phone call from home telling me about hte bad news that my grandma had passed away. With sookers on the phone, i actually didnt know how to react. we just prayed together.
but slowly, it sunk in and i couldnt hold onto my tears, they came out of the corner of my eyes everytime i had a moment to myself. i tried pulling it together but i couldnt. I needed Jesus. i needed someone to hold me.

I really thank God for the Tays, for taking me in not only on Christmas eve, giving me pressie, but just being a family for me that i never had in melbourne. It's so awesome to have adults - real mummy and daddy figure in the house to just love you and give you hugs whenever you need. and the timing was just perfect, like how i was with them and not alone. how the news break out after the church service and not during.

This period of staying alone at Evelyn has taught me way more than i could ever imagined or think of. God has been seriously good to me by sending different company and counsels to me whenever i needed. Honestly, i dont think i'm ever alone.
and yet, i discover, above all, the best time spent is spending with Jesus and just asking Him to hold me.

you know, crying can be very tiring. coming from first hand experience.
but when you thought that there's no hope, God's light shines and come in.

Zheng and Khao taught me that some burdens are not mine to carry.
somethings happened for the better of our growth.

I was reminded of the spirit of Christmas, that Jesus came as human to connect with us. to bring hope and salvation through love.

Death may have temporarily separate me and my grandma. but i cherish all the memories that we had togheter.
obviously there are questions, and questions that no one could answer. all the why's and what happened.
but i know ultimately, like ROMANS 8:28
all things work for the good!

AH MA, i miss you.

I didn't know I hadn't blog for 3 weeks already.

Quick one. Since it's nearl 2 and I have to be up by 6.

Updates-
I'm now staying home alone. All my housies has left.
Our house is now for sale. We're moving out everywhere and praise God, he has provided a place
I'm only surviving on ipione Internet. Pls pray that I don't go over the cap
there's been lots of graduation this week
so is work

watched my first Christmas carol play that are hosted by citylife

a lot of first times. But Jesus is doing them with me

i'm so unworthy but still You love me

You are holy great and mighty
The moon and the stars declare who You are
I'm so unworthy, but still You love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great You are

Come on summer! Bring it on!

Blogging from my iPhone again. Am currently on th bus.

Ever since nov 2nd, after my exams had all ended, I felt like I've been evermore so busy wih the things of life. Too busy that I haven't had time to mysel to chill , to slow down and to do nothing. Yes, I do live all the catchups and all the hang outs but sometimes, it's great to have some alone time, some serious slack and do nothing with God time! Just chill u know!

But at the same time, God's still teaching me about relationships.
Interpersonal
and intrapersonal.

I love hanging around ppl whom I called family. I thank God for friends who stick wih me through thick n thin and
friends who I can explore both extremities of doing crazy stuff and nothing with.

As the year comes to an end, I sense a greater new beginning for a whole lot of things, in the natural and the supernatural.
Love is blossoming amongst the people around me.
Weddings, engagements and gettin together
Lots of packing and moving in my hse
Work, placements, running around in between.
So many new rxcting things are happening and yet at the same time, so many things are changing

I know I am definitely not the same person as I was before, at the beginning of the year. But I don't look back in regret, I look back with a heart of gratitude and a heart of praise, thank God for what He has done.
As a whole lot of new things come my way and after the near death experience, I think I'm ready to encounter he new change of wind. (as much as I wanna be prepared, I have a feeling, God is soo gonna sweep me off my feet! )

dancing on the summer 69
these days are the best days of my life

God and His Presence

Today, Ps Rusell talked about loving God and His Presence.

I was so completely blown away by so many things that has happened and how God ochestrated so many moments of my life! it's unbelievable but it's real.
like how i had a headache, left lib early to meet this girl on the bus that i can now connect with.
how what i initially thought was a job turned out to be an opportunity for me to reach out and share about Jesus
how Jesus told me to not step into that particular relationship because the guy's heart aint right
above all, how He knocked at the door of my heart, set up all these God-incidents so that i could turn the door knob open to welcome Him in.

i love it.
i love how He plans everything for me, how he ordains my steps.

i love God and His presence.
i want more!

God, help!!

I don't know what's wrong with me but today just ain't working well. I can't focus. God, please help me. My exams are two days away n I feel like I'm so not ready. I don't wanna panic but at the rate that I'm going and the thugs that are happening around me, I just wanna curl up in my lil corner and cry out to you.

I know you are able. I know you are bigger.
Help me to push through.

I wanna run this race strong! I hate how the enemy throws things at me at this crucial time but in the same time, I'm learning to embrace them cos it's a sign of my victory is near. I'm learning to strengthen myself in God even more through this because I know ultimately, it's just about me and him. I am learning to encourage myself when there's no one around me. Ps Bill said that's the greatest thing that u can learn.

God. Help me. Dim away everything else and let me look to u alone.
My exams, my family, my friends and my heart. I give them to u. Take me away into the secret place.

To Do List

After exams, this is my little to do list for summer.

- look for a job related to nursing and earn more money

- travel somewhere after placements

- go visit the supper market and the abbortsford convent.

:) cannot wait.

oh my gosh.

i felt sick and disgusted from the stuff i ate. nt sure wat but just felt like puking.

this was my sis' reply,

"Why? you feel sick because u too fat ar?"

tat says something.

TRUST

when i dont understand how it could happen or when it'll come true;

or when i cannot see the light at the tunnel,

or when my heart seems to be broken,

all i hear is You, saying "TRUST"

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Trust me in this.

Trust!

why am i so scared to stepping out?

Many a times, i felt led by God and just have the desire to pray for people who are sick but yet. MORE than ever, i just chicken out and just let the moment or situation pass me by. i dont understand why. so, as any student would have done, i googled.

"why are we scared of taking risk?"
and this article interest me.
God has been whispering things in my ear/heart as i read through this article and i realised that there are still lots of areas that i need to work on! see my mental notes/ revelation in red!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Risk-Taking-Why-We-Are-Scared-to-Take-Risks&id=95888

Why are we so scared to take risks? It could be lots of reasons, for instance: not wanting to get out of our comfort zone, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, fear of change, or need for certainty, our desire to avoid conflict, fear of failure, lack of belief in ourselves. Risk taking is accepting the need for change and understanding what’s involved in taking such actions. (i love the last sentense. understand what's involved in taking such actions. there obviously is a need and i understand that i could be the change.)

We are talking here about intelligent risk taking, not being careless. Intelligent risk taking enables you to express your creativity, drive and motivation.

Risk taking often requires an honest look at the situation and the required actions. It is also important to understand what the risks are and the advantages and disadvantages of taking the action. Once you have committed yourself to the action, you must also be prepared to accept the consequences of such actions.

Here is one of my favourite quotes on risks.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair. (but Jesus is always there to cheer you on, and bring hope to the hopeless)
To try is to risk failure. (but at least u tried)
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by his own fears, he is a slave; He has forfeited freedom.

Only a person who risks is free!

TIP OF THE DAY – As Nike says … Just do it!!

My challenge for you: Think of one area in your life that you have been putting off taking a risk. My challenge is to identify what is keeping you from taking action. Now, identify one action you will take this week.

My stretch challenge for you – is to email me and tell me the action you will take, then email me when you have completed the action.

Final thoughts:
“If I had my life to live over I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier that I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would perhaps have more action trouble, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies” Nadine Stair at age 85

article written by Michelle Zelig Pourau of Personal Power International.


i hate chicken-ing out when God asked me to step out in faith n pray for someone. i just dont know how or maybe i'm just fearful of rejection and scared that the thing i asked for didnt happen.
Jesus, help me to grow in this area pleasee.

so many ppl said i've grown fatter.

oh no!!!!

time to loose some excess lipid!