oh. i forgot to put this thought down.

"good things come to those who waits"

and..

should i change to tumblr?

hello MALAYSIA!

been back in malaysia for 2 weeks now. havent been up to much but i'm treasuring my holiday. somehow this time it's different. less of hanging out with friends, more alone time, more family time. God spoke to me to make my holiday count. i dont know how but i want to make it count. and the trip down to malacca had taught me that if i am willing to allow God to interceed, He will make that happen! and i am soooo excited!

anway, for the past 2 weeks, I had a haircut,

met up with the yi wei family and was ben's driver for his last day. i love hanging out with that boy! he is so special to me!

had the most amazing weekend with my ai mei gang. these people are so close to my heart and has taught me so much about God. They stir me on further for the things of God.

this holiday has truly been different but i'm loving it!

havent been up to much. but surely i've ate HEAPS!











going off to bangkok in 2 hours! i'm so excited! havent had proper family trip in years!

2010 so far

my cap just re-rolled over. i get to go on the net again! woohoo :) makes life lots easier!

so, 2010 so far...

if i get the timetable preferences as i willed it, my schedule would be like this!



it's been an awesome start to the year. wayyy more eventful than ever. and i've also begun to look more into the deeper issue.
the inside of me.

Allan, Dant, Lik and i went to the beach the other day. Allan spoke of something which was so simple, yet so profound.

Enjoy the very moment, whatever comes come and you'll know what to do when it comes.

so true hey? most of the time, we (well, i've) spent wondering what would happen and getting too consumed in the things of the future, or more like my fantasy land. Too consumed, that's right. too consumed to the extent that i've become too innocently and naively oblivious to things. Too many things.

I'm so thankful for sisterly figure like Li who nags me past midnight (and she reckons that i secretly like being nag) haha.
She sees the things that I dont see. or, too blur to notice.

so, this year.. God has whispered a few things to me that is somewhat my resolution.

LOVE.
seriously, i am learning how to love.
prior to thursday, i was thinking about unconditional love. giving my all love. loving those who are hard to love. be there to comfort the hurting and stand with those who are easily shaken. but hey, there's more to love than i thought.
i need to learn how to love wisely. say no or sorry, not interested when i know that's the right thing to do to not hurt them.
i need to learn how to not be nice out of love. when to move on, and not feel guilty about the things of the past.

this summer has been such an interesting one. my heart aches for those whom i love. it aches for mum when grandma passed away. it aches for a friend when he settles for second best in life. it aches for another when the girlfriend was uncertained about their future. it misses those who are far away..

dont get me wrong. i'm not all emo. God has been tremendously good to me.
cos' the other whisper i heard was such an awesome comfort.

"There it is. there it is."

Such gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. Everything that i need, it is found in Him. All the joy, smiles, healing and comfort, flows from Him. So friends, thank you for the awesome company and all the great and lil things in life. i know there it is.
in bike rides and pastas, in sitting round the dining table and moving chairs, in hot bbq and under cool AC, in christmas and new years, in photos and movies. in lazing on the couch to playing bball.
there it is.
so near. so close.

Maccas free wifi is the best!!

I've been so disconnected from the world and now doing my blog catch ups after work.

Hello 2010. I am sooo excited and can't wait for
to see more of God. So many stories to tell. Of only I can bring my lappie and spend the whole day here.

Short update - everything is good. I've moved and now I'm just busy moving in and unpacking. Still looking for another female housemate if anyone knows of someone needin a room.
New years was great. Different from the ones of my past but it was good.

Deep inside, I miss still miss home and with Christmas and new years away, it felt as tho smtg is missing.
It's not like I don't have a great time, don't get me wrong. I had a fantastic time.


It's just ... Different.

Maybe this was how the little birdie feel like when it first flapped it's wings and flew out of home.

Art of LOVE

This song has been playing in my head for the entire day and i finally bought it off itunes.



i'm still learning the art of love :)

my first christmas in melbourne. in short. i have learnt heaps and i am learning to understand the hope and joy and unwavering love that we have in Jesus.

On Christmas morning, i recieved a phone call from home telling me about hte bad news that my grandma had passed away. With sookers on the phone, i actually didnt know how to react. we just prayed together.
but slowly, it sunk in and i couldnt hold onto my tears, they came out of the corner of my eyes everytime i had a moment to myself. i tried pulling it together but i couldnt. I needed Jesus. i needed someone to hold me.

I really thank God for the Tays, for taking me in not only on Christmas eve, giving me pressie, but just being a family for me that i never had in melbourne. It's so awesome to have adults - real mummy and daddy figure in the house to just love you and give you hugs whenever you need. and the timing was just perfect, like how i was with them and not alone. how the news break out after the church service and not during.

This period of staying alone at Evelyn has taught me way more than i could ever imagined or think of. God has been seriously good to me by sending different company and counsels to me whenever i needed. Honestly, i dont think i'm ever alone.
and yet, i discover, above all, the best time spent is spending with Jesus and just asking Him to hold me.

you know, crying can be very tiring. coming from first hand experience.
but when you thought that there's no hope, God's light shines and come in.

Zheng and Khao taught me that some burdens are not mine to carry.
somethings happened for the better of our growth.

I was reminded of the spirit of Christmas, that Jesus came as human to connect with us. to bring hope and salvation through love.

Death may have temporarily separate me and my grandma. but i cherish all the memories that we had togheter.
obviously there are questions, and questions that no one could answer. all the why's and what happened.
but i know ultimately, like ROMANS 8:28
all things work for the good!

AH MA, i miss you.

I didn't know I hadn't blog for 3 weeks already.

Quick one. Since it's nearl 2 and I have to be up by 6.

Updates-
I'm now staying home alone. All my housies has left.
Our house is now for sale. We're moving out everywhere and praise God, he has provided a place
I'm only surviving on ipione Internet. Pls pray that I don't go over the cap
there's been lots of graduation this week
so is work

watched my first Christmas carol play that are hosted by citylife

a lot of first times. But Jesus is doing them with me

i'm so unworthy but still You love me

You are holy great and mighty
The moon and the stars declare who You are
I'm so unworthy, but still You love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great You are

Come on summer! Bring it on!

Blogging from my iPhone again. Am currently on th bus.

Ever since nov 2nd, after my exams had all ended, I felt like I've been evermore so busy wih the things of life. Too busy that I haven't had time to mysel to chill , to slow down and to do nothing. Yes, I do live all the catchups and all the hang outs but sometimes, it's great to have some alone time, some serious slack and do nothing with God time! Just chill u know!

But at the same time, God's still teaching me about relationships.
Interpersonal
and intrapersonal.

I love hanging around ppl whom I called family. I thank God for friends who stick wih me through thick n thin and
friends who I can explore both extremities of doing crazy stuff and nothing with.

As the year comes to an end, I sense a greater new beginning for a whole lot of things, in the natural and the supernatural.
Love is blossoming amongst the people around me.
Weddings, engagements and gettin together
Lots of packing and moving in my hse
Work, placements, running around in between.
So many new rxcting things are happening and yet at the same time, so many things are changing

I know I am definitely not the same person as I was before, at the beginning of the year. But I don't look back in regret, I look back with a heart of gratitude and a heart of praise, thank God for what He has done.
As a whole lot of new things come my way and after the near death experience, I think I'm ready to encounter he new change of wind. (as much as I wanna be prepared, I have a feeling, God is soo gonna sweep me off my feet! )

dancing on the summer 69
these days are the best days of my life

God and His Presence

Today, Ps Rusell talked about loving God and His Presence.

I was so completely blown away by so many things that has happened and how God ochestrated so many moments of my life! it's unbelievable but it's real.
like how i had a headache, left lib early to meet this girl on the bus that i can now connect with.
how what i initially thought was a job turned out to be an opportunity for me to reach out and share about Jesus
how Jesus told me to not step into that particular relationship because the guy's heart aint right
above all, how He knocked at the door of my heart, set up all these God-incidents so that i could turn the door knob open to welcome Him in.

i love it.
i love how He plans everything for me, how he ordains my steps.

i love God and His presence.
i want more!

God, help!!

I don't know what's wrong with me but today just ain't working well. I can't focus. God, please help me. My exams are two days away n I feel like I'm so not ready. I don't wanna panic but at the rate that I'm going and the thugs that are happening around me, I just wanna curl up in my lil corner and cry out to you.

I know you are able. I know you are bigger.
Help me to push through.

I wanna run this race strong! I hate how the enemy throws things at me at this crucial time but in the same time, I'm learning to embrace them cos it's a sign of my victory is near. I'm learning to strengthen myself in God even more through this because I know ultimately, it's just about me and him. I am learning to encourage myself when there's no one around me. Ps Bill said that's the greatest thing that u can learn.

God. Help me. Dim away everything else and let me look to u alone.
My exams, my family, my friends and my heart. I give them to u. Take me away into the secret place.

To Do List

After exams, this is my little to do list for summer.

- look for a job related to nursing and earn more money

- travel somewhere after placements

- go visit the supper market and the abbortsford convent.

:) cannot wait.

oh my gosh.

i felt sick and disgusted from the stuff i ate. nt sure wat but just felt like puking.

this was my sis' reply,

"Why? you feel sick because u too fat ar?"

tat says something.

TRUST

when i dont understand how it could happen or when it'll come true;

or when i cannot see the light at the tunnel,

or when my heart seems to be broken,

all i hear is You, saying "TRUST"

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Trust me in this.

Trust!

why am i so scared to stepping out?

Many a times, i felt led by God and just have the desire to pray for people who are sick but yet. MORE than ever, i just chicken out and just let the moment or situation pass me by. i dont understand why. so, as any student would have done, i googled.

"why are we scared of taking risk?"
and this article interest me.
God has been whispering things in my ear/heart as i read through this article and i realised that there are still lots of areas that i need to work on! see my mental notes/ revelation in red!

http://ezinearticles.com/?Risk-Taking-Why-We-Are-Scared-to-Take-Risks&id=95888

Why are we so scared to take risks? It could be lots of reasons, for instance: not wanting to get out of our comfort zone, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt, fear of change, or need for certainty, our desire to avoid conflict, fear of failure, lack of belief in ourselves. Risk taking is accepting the need for change and understanding what’s involved in taking such actions. (i love the last sentense. understand what's involved in taking such actions. there obviously is a need and i understand that i could be the change.)

We are talking here about intelligent risk taking, not being careless. Intelligent risk taking enables you to express your creativity, drive and motivation.

Risk taking often requires an honest look at the situation and the required actions. It is also important to understand what the risks are and the advantages and disadvantages of taking the action. Once you have committed yourself to the action, you must also be prepared to accept the consequences of such actions.

Here is one of my favourite quotes on risks.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair. (but Jesus is always there to cheer you on, and bring hope to the hopeless)
To try is to risk failure. (but at least u tried)
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing and is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live.
Chained by his own fears, he is a slave; He has forfeited freedom.

Only a person who risks is free!

TIP OF THE DAY – As Nike says … Just do it!!

My challenge for you: Think of one area in your life that you have been putting off taking a risk. My challenge is to identify what is keeping you from taking action. Now, identify one action you will take this week.

My stretch challenge for you – is to email me and tell me the action you will take, then email me when you have completed the action.

Final thoughts:
“If I had my life to live over I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I’d relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier that I have been this trip. I would take fewer things seriously. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans. I would perhaps have more action trouble, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones. You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely hour after hour, day after day.

Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds, I would pick more daisies” Nadine Stair at age 85

article written by Michelle Zelig Pourau of Personal Power International.


i hate chicken-ing out when God asked me to step out in faith n pray for someone. i just dont know how or maybe i'm just fearful of rejection and scared that the thing i asked for didnt happen.
Jesus, help me to grow in this area pleasee.

so many ppl said i've grown fatter.

oh no!!!!

time to loose some excess lipid!

falling in love

i find that love and relationship is a topic that is never ending and people never get bored and sick of talking about it! personally, i lovvvee reading about how people fall in love or looking at the awesome photos that ant and jono take. it helps me paint my perspective of love and that love isnt all airy fairy, unobtainable but instead, i see and know how love is really all around!

God has been opening my eyes to alot of things and i simply love it!

currently, i feel like i'm on a path where it's time for me to dig deeper and let my roots grow further in the things of God. i know that i am walking in my prophetic destiny! this is the season where i duno where i'm heading but i know God is in control and he is leading the way. it's awesome u know, that everyday, you get up and the God of heaven and earth has your day planned out! Surprises are around the corner! mann. how awesome is that!

but anway, not so much about me. i've been having 3 weeks break currently and i have the priviledge of catching up with people. and the greatest thing is that i am approached by people this time! i wasnt the one asking people out and going hey u wanna catch up. instead the other party thought of me! <3
i love our conversations and i love being able to impart into these people. i love hanging out with old friends and seeing how far we've come after all these years. when i do take the time to reflect and think about such things, mann, i'm overwhelmed by the people i'm surrounded with. it encourages me!

recently, my best friend was going through a hard time. and i just found out. my fault for not keeping in touch. but i love how God strings things together. everything that i had been through in the past, big and small now comes into perspective. I spoke to her and encouraged her. i included God in the picture in everything to let her know that God is always there! always in the picture. i know she is hurting real bad at the moment and i prolly couldnt relate as well to her pain but i know God can! i know i can just be a friend and cheer her on. i know i can be an Aaron and help her lift up her hands when they're tired.
i reckon this is the kinda friendship and relationship that God intended us to be in. to love one another and to encourage one another!

so many things are happening around me, but at the moment, i am just falling more in love with Jesus. and i want you to see His love too!

pkids discipleship was off the hook. i learnt about the power of encouragement and i myself recieved loads today.

HEbrews 4:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness.

your words have the power to break and heal over the hurts and wounds inflicted by negative words. your encouragement can shift the person's perspective. And the bible says to do it daily.

i love getting encouragements! i love getting pats on the backs and hugs saying that i'm a champ! but above all, i love encouraging people! i love it when they say that it makes sense and is exactly what they need. i love being used by God to speak of the right words at the right time.

seriously, God is just so good that He hasnt forgotten about YOU! He watches over you all the time and craves for your love and attention.



ps rob asked an intriguing question today - what would you do if you knew you wouldnt never fail?

:)

You never fail to put a smile on my face!

i love youuuu!

A weekend Like no other

When it's a good weekend, or when u know that u've had a good time, you'll know it! And this weekend was just rocking and there's just so much thankfulness and gratitude in my heart that it's overfilled with joy. Tmr, it's time to spread those joy to my kiddies n also those that I'll meet!! Oh yea! I'm excited!!!

Anway, before I get too sidetracked, I'll just quickly share what happened.

Honestly, I think my weekend just keeps getting better and better ever since kidshaper. Praise Gor friendship and just being so good to me! I duno if u've ever had this feeling - that things just seemed so good that you could actually withdraw yourself from reality, and take upon a third person point of view n ask yourself, is this real?! What I did today and the happiness i felt, real? Or like when it comes to the end of the day, u depersonalize(mental health term) hahahhahaaha n reflect on how good it has been? Ur heart overwhelms!
That was what I felt.

I finally sleptover @ li's hse on Friday. Those who don't know, I insist on sharing a single bed with her. And we must have seperate blankets each cos I'm a blanket-snatcher in the middle of the night. But i simply lovee hanging out with this chick!

This weekend so far, I've learnt a few new things bot myself and I just can't stop reflecting bout my perspective on friendship. ( typing on iPhone is soo mega challenging)
anyway, I've known that I'm sentimental but I realize that there R certain things that I've never actually let go. Especially when it comes to friendship. I realized that I still hold on to the past and have never really grasped the concept of moving on. I think it could still be jpainful for me. I know for my own benefit N also for the person on the other end, it's actually a good thing! I mean i know the reality that life goes on whether you like it or not. But I think I'm quite stubborn in the sense that I belive something ought not to be changed! Relationships are one of them. Not to say that u stay stagnant, bt I meant thAt u're not supposed to move backwards. I duno but I found out that for some specific people, though they moved on n we barely see each other, I'll still hold on real tight on what we shared before. Yeaa. I guessed we've moved on but I still hold on to what we had and will fight real hard to keep this friendship going. Idunno if I'm making sense. But u know what, even as I watched UP today with ant (awesome show! Highly recommended in 3d) I realized that perhaps God is also telling me to let go of the past and move on.
I guess it's time for me to say "thank you for the adventure. And now go have some new ones".

I'm not saying that it's to ditch all my friends or just leave everything n turn a new page. No! I'm saying, some things had occured for us to grow together, so that when we grow old, we can have a good laugh togehter!! Hahaha. Yeaa. And some things happen to test how strong we really are. But you know what, some happen just so that you can see that there are treasures around you, every day and every moment. So that you can journey on and start your adventure with these people around you. Sometimes, all we need to do is just to look and embrace. Don't worry about what others may say or think. Don't stews about passing comments like you're always busy and always not at home. Heck, it's my life and I'm ever only gonna live today once. I'm ever only gonna have this minute once and it'll be gone n dotted in history. Yes. I used to be affected lots by passing comments, and I used to justify situations. But this weekend, I realized that This truly is my life And the life that God has given me. I am gonna live it to the fullest and do what God has called me to(even though lots oftimes it's scary and require stepping out). Still. It's a life worth living. I think I'm discovering mire about this more to life life that God wants me to live. I know it's basic life lesson 101.
But when u actually understand it. Goodness!


I can't thank God enough for the friends that I have around me and also those that shared and are still sharing this journey with me. Whichever stage n phase we are in, I want you to know that I hold on very dearly all the memories we shared.

Sassy,
I love how even though things aren't exactly the same as it used to be as when we first met, I know that I can still cuddle next to you and just be comfortable and be loved. I love u and am so definitely hogging ur bed again!

Ant,
I simply enjoy ur company!! Simple as that but u know it goes far beyond yea? Look forward to adding more pages to our adventure book. I'll be Russell n u can be Carl! (since u say u're old) hahaha

1st post from Iphone

Just have a quick 15 mins before I had to go for another class. Am at caufield at the moment and. I think I just witnessed one of the saddest thing that could happen to a girl.

I was at the corner happily minding my own business, thinking of when to eat my crossaint when I saw this. Well, for all u know it could just be my imagination and none of these actually happened as what I thought itwas.

They were on a bench under the big tree.
He had his legs crossed while she faced the tar roads
her eyes were red and they barely spoke.

I walked past them wondering why the still silence.




...

I turned my head around and he stood up.
No goodbyes no hugs, he just walked off while

She sat on the bench, with her black jacket, staring at the black tar road.


If ur imagination were as wild as mine, we could perhaps swapped stories! But after seeing how he left her, in that manner, my heart broke. I wasn't too sure if it was just a normal goodbye. I paced up and down the walkway two or three times, trying to grab a glimpseof the girl from the back, just to check that she is ok.

Part of me was like move on. None of ur business anyway.
Part of my heart sunk, fearing that wat I imagined would have actually been her most dreaded reality.

The walkway btw gym n lib never seemed so long. Well, at least, I've never turned around, walked up n down so many tomes! )



finally, i decided to turn around and just to check on her to see that she was ok. but then .. she's already left. i wonder what happened to her


in that moment, i felt the pain of broken relationships. it scares me a little and made me question if i would ever be ready. and all the questions regarding the right man.. blah blah blah.


MAN! stop breaking people's heart! haha.

but you know what, i know relationships can be scary, but i still believe in love.




We love, because He first love us.
God, help us to recognise the brokeness in this world and overcome it with Your love.