Write You A Song <3

I don't know how to make lots of money
I got debts that I'm trying to pay
I can't buy you nice things, like big diamond rings
But that don't mean much anyway
I can't give you the house you've been dreaming
If I could I would build it alone
I'd be out there all day, just hammering away
Make us a place of our own

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

I don't know that I'd make a good soldier
I don't believe in being violent and cruel
I don't know how to fight, but I'll draw blood tonight
If somebody tries hurting you

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without you

Now that it's out on the table (it's out on the table)
Both of us knew all along (knew all along)
I've got your loving and you've got my song

I don't know how to make lots of money
I don't know all the right things to do
I can't say where we'll go, but the one thing I know
Is how to be a good man to you
Until I die that's what I'll do

I will write you a song
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong
I will write you a song
And you'll know from this song that I just can't go on without
I will write you a song (I will write you a song)
That's how you'll know that my love is still strong (love is still strong)
I will write you a song
And you know from this song that I just can't go on without you


This is the sweetest song that came across my itunes today :D i'm feeling so loved, despite the mess i've been surrounded by, stuff flying everywhere. REALLY DESPERATELY need a maid. hahahaha.

Dad's coming over this week. i'm not sure how i'm feeling :S but i think i'll be fine :)

till then, keep writing people songs! :)

1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

when you've gone

after all the laughters and awesome times that you brought me through.
i'm left alone in my room.
i cant help but to feel the aches in my heart.
tears wouldnt come out. i hope it's not because i'm getting used to it.
it still hurts.

i'll miss you.
promise me you'll still tell me stories.
promise me you'll be better than you are now.

i'm drowning myself in emo music
when you're gone, pieces of my heart are missing you.
faces i known are missing too.



Lord, help me to stay strong.

phonecalls

dear mr stranger friend,
please tell me who you are. i know that we're friends but i cant hardly stand the suspense anymore. please reveal yourself!

i'm back from bali and headed straight to pd and melaka.



i love bali with what's it gotta offer. and i love my roadtrip with people dearest to my heart.




<3

i had the best valentines week ever :)


.........................................................................


anyway, i woke up today, feeling a lil emo and just had my reflective cap on. i was thinking about how when valentines is around the corner, there's always a sense of "love is in the air" mode and on the contrary, the increase sense of insecurity amongst ppl. the question of - how u spending your day, or you taking anyone out is always round the ear. i always wonder why.

but i guess, this valentines, i've grabbed hold of a few things. the need to express your appreciation and your love towards the ppl around you. perhaps it's PDS - pre departure syndrome. i duno, with friends heading to various parts of the world and a couple of farewells and "I'LL MISS YOU"... i couldnt help but to remind myself that in a week's time i'll be in that position too. i tot i've had enough experience of saying goodbye and i'll-see-you-again-before-you-even-know-it. i tot i was a pro. but i guess i'm just a human being with emotions. (and i'm glad i am! hehe)

i was doing my devotions today. it's talking about sowing and reaping. "whoever who sows grudgingly and sparingly shall receive grudgingly and sparingly. whoever who sows generously will reap generously". today only i realised that it doesnt only apply to financial situations, but also in terms of love. Joyce meyers encourages us to GO THE EXTRA MILE.

simple things like holding the door for someone, sending text messages that puts a grin on their faces, cook up a meal, tell someone you love them goes real far down the road. God gives us amazing ideas on how to bless others. just ask. i've actually asked before and guess now, i've just gotta put them into actions :) ( i guess the problem with me is that i'm too lazy to actually do the things i intended! uggghh)

so , do something that will brighten another person's day. you'll see how much u enjoy doing it too!

do something that blesses the Father too!

i will.

thank God for friends like youS!!!!

thank God for sending me such awesome friends :)

















i couldnt ask for more.

(due to the previous laptop with another 10000 photos had been stolen, there are lots of ppl tat i'm trying to include but didnt have the photo of.. it'll come in time. i appreciate u too!)

HELLO 2009

Guess what i did at the very last day of 2008 and the very first day of 2009?
i watched the last few episodes of Moonlight Resonance. MaNN!! i now understand how truly addictive hk drama series can be!but well well.. FINALLY. i'm over the phase now. NO MORE DRAMA SERIES FOR THIS HOLS! i've done my quota for this season :P

Anyway.. this morning, as i woke up recapping how the year has gone past.. i realised,
in this year, so many had happened. good and bad, high and low.

In this year,

I roller bladed for the first time, he was there to hold my hands, so was she :)
I walked someone down the aisle, cos he has already told me that it would happen on that very appointed day.
I had a very awesome group of friends, we were (are) like family and thank God, cos He's always in the middle.
I'd lost my wallet in a foreign land, he was there to cheer me up.
My house was broken into, he gathered the people around me telling me that it would be ok.
this year, i'd missed out on thousand opportunities to make a difference
i've been loved more than i had loved.
i've tried and failed. but at the same time, i've also tried and seen the victory.
i've done some silly lil fun things too.. i went for picnic in malaysia for the first time.
i went somewhere real far for food
i dressed up a fair amount due to a fair few occasions - urbs, birthdays, balls. all of great memories.
i made some short clips and videos for the first time.
i've learnt to trust and believe. but i'm still learning to trust more and dare to believe for more.
i've had the priviledge of seeing kids touching God.
i've seen His goodness and faithfulness.
i'd had an accident that was not so much of a misfortune but a blessing, that truly opened up my eyes to bigger things.
i've shed tonnes of tears, missing people near and far.
i've seen doors being shut right in front of my face.
i converted a hk drama series anti to a fan ;p (it'll be so awesome if i can do that MORE FOR JESUS!)

but this year.. i'm also continously learning to let go.
letting go of the things that God told me to, that arent so good for me.
letting go of the things that werent meant to be.
letting go of sorrow and unforgiveness. I'm still learning.
letting go of hurts and disappointment.

Someone in bible college told me today, "there's often greater rewards if you waited." yes. this marks the start of my waiting season. but it's ok. greater rewards towards the end. HOORAY!

God told me to get ready for this year. I know bigger challenges are gonna come my way. but I know even better that I'm not alone in this journey. NEVER alone! cos.. this coming year.. i know there's greater victories!! :D
i tried to think of new year's resolution. it's prolly just the same o ones. cos they're too hard to ever get marked off the list.
so .. this year i'm simplifying my resolution to a short one, instead of a massive list.

1. to stay closer to Jesus.
2. to love people.
3. KAM FEI SENG GONG!

hhaahhaa. the final one is just for a laugh! :P kam fei so hard.. i'm so not discipline.. tat would take some while. but first 2 are harder to do.. but it should be ok :D

<3

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR

I've had one of the busiest christmas ever. and it was good. Thank God for my sister's boldness to rededicate her life to Jesus, coming back to him again. It was the best thing and the best christmas gift i could ever asked for :)

christmas luncheon with the yiweiclan.
CCC christmas reflection production.
christmas dinner at relatives'.

That was my day. but of course, the moment i woke up. i didnt forget to wish the BIRTHDAY BOY A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY =) He's the best :D

I've been reading "God came near" by max lucado. it's awesome. so many of us needed to have a divine surgery to have our eyelids cut open to see Jesus. we passed by so many things that reflect His glory and majesty. Yet, we failed to see His hands upon it. i shall copy this paragraph that i read today. it's so beautifully true.

"The world was different this week. It was temporarily transformed. The magical dust of christmas glittered on the cheeks of humanity ever so briefly, reminding us of what is worth having and what we were intended to be. WE forgot our compulsion with winning, wooing and warring. We put away our ladders and ledgers, we hung up our stop watches and weapons. We stepped out off our race tracks and roller coasters and looked outward toward the star of Bethlehem.

It's the season to be jolly because, more than any other time, we think of him. More than in any other season, his name is on our lips. All of a sudden, he's everywhere.

Emmanuel. God with is. He is with us. God came near.

... If he can do so much wit hsuch timid prayers lamely offered in December, how much more would and could he do if we thought of him everyday?"


perhaps, you've heard that Jesus is the reason for the season.
what does it mean?
what is Christmas to you?
Personally, i think Christmas is just the mark of something amazing - when God from His majestic throne came down in human form, out of love. it's the birth of a King. The King of kings. and it doesnt end here.
He heals.
He delivers.
He redeems.
He cares.

and it doesnt stop just on Christmas day. everyday should be Jesus-day. seriously, who can have too much love?

BOLD

i read this in my devotions today.

If we intend to succeed at being ourselves, we must reach a point where we can be led by the Holy Spirit. Being led by the Spirit does not mean that we dont make mistakes. The Holy Spirit doesnt make mistakes, but we do. Following the Spirit's leading is a process which can only be learned by doing. WE start by stepping out into things we believed God is putting on our hearts, and we learn by wisdom and experience how to hear more clearly and definitely.

Boldness is required to be led by the Spirit because,
1. Only boldness step out.
2. Only boldness can survive making mistakes.
When insecure people make mistakes, they often will never try again. Bold people make many mistakes, but their attitude is "I'm going to keep trying until i learn to do this right".

Those who suffer from condemnation usually dont believe they can hear from God. Even if they think they may have heard from God and do a step out, a minor mistake is a major setback to them.

Be bold. Be determined that you are going to be all God wants you to be. Dont hide behind fears nad insecurities any longer. If you have already made blunders in your life and have been living under condemnations because of them, this is the time to PRESS ON! you're reading this for a reason, I encourage you to take this message personally just as though God's talking to you directly through it.

Be determined to press on toward victory.






mmm. give some thoughts to it. BOLDNESS. i want some.

heart of greed

i've been recently hooked into watching this drama series. thanks to ben! haha :P i guess i'm a lil emotional when it comes to watching drama series. hk ones especially!! GRR.. but anywayz.. i totally love this song.

makes my heart melt.


MY LOVE WILL GET YOU HOME

CHRISTINE GLASS

If you wander off too far, my love will get you home.
If you follow the wrong star, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If the bright lights blinds your eyes, my love will get you home.
If your troubles break your stride, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever feel ashamed, my love will get you home.
When there's only you to blame, my love will get you home.
If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home.

If you ever find yourself, lost and all alone,
get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.
Boy, my love will get you home,
Boy, my love will get you home.


see, if you swap BOY with GIRL and if this song is sung by God to us. AWWW .. even more meaningful.

truly, his love will get us home.

run.

fun.

too dee dum. i want to choo ra youuu.
come. please.

LOST AND FOUND

I CANT FIND MY USB THUMBDRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

hahaha. sorry about tat.
It's just that it can be really annoying loosing stuff. I guess this year has been a year of loosing stuff for me. i HATE it! GRR. but then, most of the time it is my fault for misplacing them, being a messy unorganised person. I can now relate to the woman who lost her 2 coins in the bible. It said that she looked up and down, swept her whole house to look for it- just because they meant something to her. They are, to her, of some value.

My USB is definitely of GREAT value to me!! :P when my lappie got stolen, i was utterly depressed, not because of the fact that someone came in and grab things that belonged to me, but because of the PHOTOS and the memories that it has stored. This week, i just felt God saying, those are by gones. Time to move on and make new ones. I didnt quite get it. but if i do, i'll share more. Anyway, yea. i tot all forms of memories of the past are GONE but God has proven his faithfulness and goodness to me the moment i used my usb to see that i've actually backed up my photos in it!!! WOW! u had no idea how thankful i was. but then, i guess i kinda taken it for granted that i wont loose my usb.. and now. i've misplaced it!! GRRRRRRR. so angry at myself.

isnt it amazing how when we've lost something, something that's close to our heart, we wouldnt stop thinking about it, we'd searched up and down for it and do everything within our might to retrieve it.
I was once lost too. Actually, not once. too many times i was lost.
I've lost my way countless times.
I've lost the sense of belonging when others failed and disappointed me,
I've lost my purpose when i dun know why on earth am i still living.
I've lost loved ones along the way
I've lost my vision.
I was lost.
but God found me and upholded me.

He has paid the price by dying for us on the cross. and then we've gone missing when we decided to take things into our own hands. Yet, He is soooo good. He never gives up looking and searching for us. When I thought he would have given up, especially when you know, after you turn the whole house around, trying to look for a tiny thing, you're covered with dust, you're tired, you come to a point when u'll say "forget it, i'm getting a new one". God could have done that, but instead, He didnt. WHY? because you're priceless to his eyes. You're valued. He has shared some memories with you, whether you know it or not. when you were created, the fact that you're still breathing, he's all part of it! So, He continued searching and waiting. Looking and anticipating that perhaps, under that pile of mess, you're hiding there.
He reaches down and when you realised that you cant camouflage between the pile of mess and junks, He's already grinning and hugging you.
This is my God. He longs for you to return to His arms. Stop camouflaging between the pile of mess that you thought no one could find you. Stop hiding. Come home. Come back to Jesus.



wow. i'm shocked. i was just thinking of asking people if anyone seen my usb could let me know where it has been but OK, God told me and directed this out. i'm so glad to be the first one reading it.

USB! COME BACK TO ME! ;p
and you who dont know Jesus, GO BACK TO HIM! (or you can always talk to me :)

FRUITCAKE

God I pray that you take me out of my comfort zone. I pray that you break my heart to pieces for the poor and needy so that I will be driven beyond belief to look after them like you would. Father, forgive me for being so self centered. Forgive me for being all about me, myself and I. Forgive me for my sometimes stupid, ridiculous, religious opinions about absolute rubbish while people that you love and cherish suffer due to my inaction and selfish, consumer attitude. God forgive me and set me free from mammon and raise me up into a person of compassion and love like you are. I pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

GOD, I WANT TO BE THE FRUITCAKE!! HELP ME TO PERSEVERE AND NOT GIVING IN OR GIVING UP.

Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always persevere.

~1 Corinthians 13:7~

you obviously dont care.

why do i even wonder or dream?

PURITY

A shattered heart.
unmendable parts.
where does it start?



rejection
loneliness
insecure and fear
in the deepest of corner of my heart



Yet He whispers
and removes the thorns and cuts.
Come this way my dear one.

Unending love.
CLEAN HANDS PURE HEART.
look through the eyes,
of an innocent one.



I'll bring you through
and love you.
I'll never dessert you nor forsake you.
Take my hand, will you?








God's heart longs for our love. Sometimes, we let things run wild and we slipped, not living in accordance to the level that He has destined us to. You give in, you tolerate and it grabs hold of you. You compromised. Ever wonder why? It all starts with a "errrmmm.. i dont know.. but...."
Or, are we too busy to talk to Him, or even spend some quality time with Him?
What has He been talking to you about? Go deeper. Ask for more.

I've never felt the way i feel yesterday. It was so real and i missed His Presence so much. I miss how He wraps His arms around me and tells me that it's ok. I miss the intimacy that we used to have. He is the lover of our souls. At times, he's my friend, at times He's my Saviour King. but yesterday, he's my lover. it was sooo close. I should stop thinking about who's the right guy and when will he come. Cos' I've already found one. I wont let the enemy place thoughts and doubts in me, tempt me or break me. I've been too silly too many times to think that man will add a little "sha-zing". Yes, there's a longing. but try-hards and manipulation are not His ways. Go to Him. All that we need.

i love the song that illustrates it all so well.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full at His wonderful face.
And the things on earth will go strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace."

For some of you, you'll go, here she goes again, Christianity bombarding. NO! I'm just expressing how my heart feels. the innermost part. I'm being really open here and i want you to see it too.
Jesus is real and He longs for your acceptance and attention. Would you give Him a chance, to take you out? or simply, to be your pal?

hearty <3

have you ever get one of those hearty warm feeling after you spend some time with that person? It's not like you always talk on the phone, msn or having kept in touch AALL the time, but you know that deep down you're loved.you can just feel so comfortable and laugh as long and as loud as you want. you can gobble as much as you want and not worry about them giving you the stares. you can trust them to tell you the truth when you need to hear some. it's just this mushy feeling you get when you're with them.

a few people make me feel that way. I guess moments like this can happen all the time if you go and make time to create some. last Sunday was one of them.
I couldnt ask for more.

Thank you for making my day and night such a special one. I meant it when i said i felt like crying everytime we said goodbye.

quickie

Today's Prayer

Dear Lord, If tomorrow never comes on this earth, I pray that I will leave behind a testimony that points to you. Help me to live as if today were my last before entering eternity, for I know not what the day may bring. I pray that I will love others with a godly love, that I will be kind and considerate, that I will share who you are and what you have done, that I will smile at those I see throughout the day, that I will remember and pray for others, that I will appreciate every little thing and have an attitude of gratitude, that I will be honest and responsible in all things. Thank you for blessing me and loving me and filling me with your spirit. Please feed my soul and give me strength this day. May you be glorified and my family be blessed. May I touch lives and sow seeds throughout the day. In the name of my Savior I pray, amen.


I've been out on placement for a week. Come home rather tired at times, but am slowing getting the hang of it and knowing what to expect and help relieve the nurses a bit more. IT HAS BEEN GREAT!! despite morning shifts having to be up and ready to go by 6.15, it's AWESOME! i am enjoying every part of it :) the people - nurses and patients are really nice. i've been learning heaps from them and off them! Loving people doesnt have to be that hard, smiling and talking to people makes a whole lot of difference. I'm trying to do it better everytime!

it is annoying and depressing to me. i am trying to overcome it and i know that i definitely cant do this on my own. this is THE MOST DISASTEROUS thing that has ever happened but i know i can and i have to pull my acts together. it's truly by His Grace. i need it more than ever. DISCIPLINE, that's another key component that i need.
perhaps to you guys, it's nothing much. just another ramblings of hers. yes this truly is. so just let me do my thing!

ARGGGHHHH!!! i'm at the fatest stage of my life!! EVER! it is disgusting! >.< i have never seen the scale sway so much to the right side. it's gross.

i need to get serious and do something.
for those whose heads are saying " yea right mun yee, you're going to be bones and sticks if you go on a diet" can you please just keep them in your head. cos to me, i dont need the discouragement to GET A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE! i need to get fit terribly much. to you, i may be normal or balanced. But this was not how i'm supposed to be. í've seen a healthier and fitter side of me and i'm really sick of how i am at my current stage.
yes. this is dealing with self-image. I know that I am created by God and i'm made perfect in His image. He created me well. Definitely! but i need to be disciplined as well. I've got to understand that my body is a temple for Holy Spirit and i need to keep it well :) i think this is also another season to show that God can really do anything!!!!

Ever since God knows when, the scale has just always been sky rocketting. it hardly go the other way, the preferred way. But, i really believe that God can help me with this. Seriously, some of you may even think that this is so silly. She's complaining about her gaining weight and there she goes, being super spritual, bringing God into the topic. YEA! I AM! cos, i've tried to loose the excess that i have with my own plans and strategies. i've tried!! but it's not working! and doing things on your own capability is so limited! it's so hard. i've learnt that i've gotta depend on God in EVERYTHING! and even in loosing weight. yeap. i'm dead serious!

i know this is gotta do with self-image, self-esteem and all that. perhaps, i am at the stage of bad judgement and placing high expectations on myself. I know i'm blessed enough to have certain things. but this is not what i'm after. I know and i've seen myself better. This is about discipline.
This is also about trusting God in every single aspect of my life. even the most ridiculous one - loosing weight.

i know He can help me! and just you weight (wait). when the testimony comes, i'll share with you how i did it and what's the plan that you could go on k/ dont worry, i'm not going to starve myself. NO WAY! we'll see alright/!

little things that makes huge differences in my life

i feel so blessed :) just today itself i've recieved 4 awesome stuff :D

tell me, i am loved or wat!

Beloved Trixie kindly borrowed me her laptop to use. Hence, i'll be able to go online more *Erhem cough cough* i mean do assignments and focus on my studies :)



Ai ling and gang - chenny andrew and jimmy .. we went and had an awesome fun night after church. eating away at nice ipoh food, dessert and even talked to this restaurant owner by random coincidence. it was a Godly thing. it was fun talking and being silly joking around with these guys!! :D

through this week, joanne, william and chunwei texted me to say hi and tell me how much they miss me and thought of me.
awwww...

teck keong generously took me out to this really nice place in south yarra for dinner. it was a staeak house. the food was real yummmmm.. it was that good that it made me scrap the idea about being conscious of wat i eat away. it was great stuff :D

Chenny due to his promotion, pay rise and recieving bonus has generously bought us koko black chocolate!! YUMMM :D


(that;s not the real exact thing of wat he bought us. but will get a pic of the real thing he bought us after i charge my camera :p )

but they are AWESOME stuff and i havent had koko black since i last had it with my sis 2 years ago maybe? tat place brings back memories. yeen, am i right? but surely God has been very kind, cos i needed it :)

and finally, the best surprise of all, KIWI BROUGHT A "SLICE" (is that wat you call it?) of DURIAN FOR ME!!
that's so sweet of him. i am proud to admit that i am a durian fan and durian brings back heaps of memories from home. family and friends.



YUUMMM .. thank you guys for showering gifts. it truly is the thought that counts :D :D :D :D :D thank you for making an impact in my life!

2 years anniversary

It'amazing how time flies. i had this song playing in my head.

"Our last summer"by Abba.
I can still recall our last summer
I still see it all
Walks along the sand, laughing in the rain
Our last summer
Memories that remain.

it has been 2 years ever since i said yes. And ever since then, my life journey was never the same again. He has never left me nor forsaken me. Through times of joy and trying times with sorrow, His grace and mercy flows. His love never ceases.

some times life throws troubles at me, oh yea, but He's always there to hold my hand. name a few? house was broken into, loss my wallet in a foreign land, undergone loneliness, feeling of no one understand, falling sick, transitions, family disagreements, doubt. fear. rejection. blah bahblah. YET, there's always him. even when i wasnt looking to him, or expecting anything from him, his comfort is always there.

not only that, He laughs with me, makes me smile. brightens up my day and cheers me on! He shows me that there's power with love.

with him, there's always hope.
with him, there's always strength.
with him, there's always peace.
with him, there's always healing.
with him, there's always l.o.v.e.

thank you Jesus for this 2 years. i'm believing for greater things, cos there's defintiely more.