2007 POST #1 FROM MELBOURNE

well .. being back wasnt as easy as i tot it would be.. but thank God tat i'm safe and sound and landed in a piece with a nice lady sitting next to me :)

flight was ok. watched couple of movies and yea .. hardly slept as usual. the movie by the rock.. cant really remember wat's the name was actually REALLY good. i was holding on to my tears while watching it. well ..actually. .when i had my eyes closed... i was literally trying SO SO HARD to hold on to my tears .. all i see was pictures of the priceless moments .. though there was a tinge of regret in me .. tat perhaps i could add more colours to my short 2 months holz .. personally .. it was good :) and everything i see and do in the plane simply reminds me of someone or something.

have u ever had the feeling that no matter how hard you try to divert your thoughts.. things just kept appearing and reminding you of somethings in the past.. yeap .. tat was my flight. oh yea ..did i mention that i was carrying 2 hand luggages of 20kgs simply makes things worse??? hahaha .. but thank God that when i went past the immigration with teary eyes and the officer at the gate was nice enuff trying to cheer me up .. and just let me go pass with my you-could-so-tell-that-these-luggages-had-the-"i-am-overweight"-sign-on-them bags ...but in all ... yea .. it was very unexpected .. with all the unforesee-able overwhelms :P but yea .. 7 hours went past alrite :)

then there was ENROLMENT
full on .. landed.showered.and next stop .. monash clayton.enrolment.how quick was tat!! i wasnt even awake but do i seem like i have a choice?.. dragged my body to figure my way out in the campus that i had only been once. wasnt a pleasing experience of getting lost and trying to find your way. but luckily the people were fairly nice to me.. dint really mind showing me around .. so thank God for that. being late for enrolment perhaps wasnt a wise idea either when you realised after all the hastle that you could actually do them online!! >.<

after approx 3 hrs of finding my way. enrolling with a tiredsome body and heavy eyes. made my monash yucky looking id. and underwent some pressure of going to camps which according to my 6th sense is gonna get ppl drunk and stuff..i declined politely.. or perhaps that day i was just not in the mood to get myself into all the hoo-haa events.headed off from clayton and started to journey home. where my body dreadfully desired to be after wat?20hrs of staying awake? to me.. it's a killer.

well .. first time ever that i felt so ... ermmm ... duno how to describe ..
i felt REAL bad in monash.was all alone and yea .. just felt as though i couldnt fit in .. i duno y.. perhaps the fact that it's a total new environment and all things have to start afresh just couldnt stop ringing bells in my head bother me greatly. the reality that everyone was at the moment so out of reach put me in a situation as though i'm in a foreign land. those moments, i realised how important my besties in melbourne are to me. and also at those moments, i realised that being at home was truly a blessing, knowing that everyone is just there for me... no one was back in clayton.. n i was stranded there. sigh. how great can tat be.

somehow, there's just this lil voice in my head that said, "God will be with you no matter where you go."

initially, the fact tat i'm all alone was activating my tears-gland.. if there is such a gland :P but this small voice reminds me of even more stuff.. of wat the pastors had told me and i have to venture out simply makes me wanna cry even more!!! i was just so touched and yet somehow.. homesick. and during then .. i was at the train already and there was a guy sitting opposite me. for a speed lightning short while .. i felt as though i'm some girl in those MTV holding on to their tears in the carriage of a moving train .hahahaha .. but i know the reason i shed my tears are differnt from them.

i felt lonely but i know in actual fact i am not really
i am scared yet .. He somehow gives me a sense of peace
i felt empty but i know He will fill me in.


perhaps those were tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

in all, i'm in awe :)

by the way.. why it seemed as though i cry alot eh?? *question marks appear on my hear*

please pray for me to be able to find a house and settle in asap.
and also .. pray that i'll be able to cope with the new change and the new environment. pray for new and old friendship.

of course.. i miss everyone still .. but thank God that there are people who never fail to brighten my day and simply sets the downward curve into a sunny smile on my face. you know who you guys are. if u're thinking .. is it me she's talking about? .. yes .. it's u .. and i just wanna say thank you :) and yea ..thanks for all the prayers:) :) i love u all very berry much :)

*big huggies*

btw. went to megan and grace's combined 18th party. update nextime when i get the pics.

happy 19th to wei :D

test

new skin..
test test

SOWING SEEDS OF PEACE

Plant goodness,harvest the fruit of loyalty, plow the new ground of knowledge. -Hosea 10:12-

Want to see a miracle? Plant a word of love heartdeep in a person's life. Nurture it with a smile and a prayer, and watch what happens.

An employee gets a complement. A wife receives a bouquet of flowers. A cake is baked adn carried next door. A widow is hugged. A gas statio attendant is honoured. A preacher is praised.

Sowing seeds of peace is like sowing beans. You dont know why it works; you just know it does. Seeds are planted, and topsoils of hurt are shoved away.

Dont forget the principle. Never underestimate the power of a seed.

SONGS THAT CURRENTLY GOT STUCK IN MY HEAD

i lovey dovey these songs :) they are just so sweet and .. simply just melt my heart!!!

oh ya .. by the way .. i'm back from bangkok !!! will post about it later :P with pics :P and yea .. i'm still trying to add more photos to the previous blog .. so .. yea. .keep checking .. or nvm actually ..cos ..yea .. it's for myself anywayz.

this year is gonna kick into a start soon .. when i go back to melbourne >.< it's gonna be so different.. but i'm kinda looking forward to it though .. knowing that there's gonna be loads of special people joining us there :) and yea .. monash .. :) it's gonna be good. i'm believing God for more WOW miracles and the fact that He sent me to monash is purposeful :)

anwyayz .. shall not blabber on ..

still vividly remember this convo with chengyuan.
Me : good things are meant to be shared
CY : but beauty is in the eyes of the beholder

so .. yea ..


Artist: Secondhand Serenade
Album: Awake
Year: 2006
Title: Your Call

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)





I'LL BE
Edwin McCain

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Chorus:
I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be your love suicide
and I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

Repeat Chorus

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said

Repeat Chorus


honestly.. i know i've been really ignorant and selfish. i should have spent more time with the people i love. thinking more from their shoes and not of my own. and also for those who are abroad or far away.. as in those i've havent met up .. u're not forgotten k?? i always have u guys in my mind.. and i miss u so much .. if there's anything i can do, i just want you to know that i'll be.. your crying shoulders... always there for u whenever u need :) and i'm still learning .. so.. perhaps .. one day .. i'll be better when i'm older .. and watever it is .. i'll never want to let go of any memories i've shared with u. i love u all !!!!!

REFLECTION REMINISCENE AND RESOLUTION :)

yup :) today i've been such a good girl ..staying in the whole day .. and did my very first online dominos pizza order (*applause) and basically reflecting upon the past year .. reminiscing the good old times and coming up with a good 2007 new year resolution :P i know it's like a week late .. or so.. but oh well :P better late than none rite?

i've taken out my diary and looked back and the photos.. WOW .. a year has gone by SO QUICKLY .. as though it's just a blink of the eye the calender flips

hmmm in the year 2006 .. i

been a captain



organised some events that got ppl stressed and then seen the smiles on many others



seeh the many different characters of people



sorta been in and out of a relationship

enjoyed Commonwealth Games to the fullest



seen the miracles of God through His people with willing heart

been to a formal of my own



and another not of mine



slow danced at a park crazily and at a proper prom

recieved flowers



starting to go out for mamaks and yumcha at nite

had tummyaches after eating mamaks

been to literally all the hotels' toilet that are located next to malls

got real stressed because of VCE

been to my very first tuition in melbourne because of spesh

survived and pulled through VCE by God's grace

shopped a lot

kept my hair to the longest length ever!

ate a lot



cooked a couple of times



baked once


i just got the recipe. .that's not wat i baked tho.. hehe

gained some weight

gained new friends



felt as though some had drifted away from me

start to explore more bout friendship

witness the love and support i have when my eyeballs were all swollen

felt real bad for making people pick me up as though they were my chauffeurs

sat in a car of a person i just met like 5 sec ago

went under the rain to realise i recognised the wrong car

passed my Ls in melbourne

drove illegally

been through emotional ups and downs (though they are seemingly little business now that i look back :P )


err.. does this photo narrates it?

been through misunderstandings

expanded my social circle

spent more family time



teared even before the day of separation has come

undergo the pain of bidding goodbyes



attended loads of birthday parties which involves EATING :)



cried my lungs out over a lost bag *damn dumb i know*

broke my heart for my loved ones

had ESL class outings and parties



and



went to beaches at melbourne



and got REAL bad burns

swam only ONCE throughout the whole entire year >.<

put on manly oversized clothes for the first time



thrown gross shit and rotten milk at the younger girls

graduated from high school





ABOVE ALL .. i accepted Christ into my life and everthing's changed

though i wasnt too sure what was i getting myself into .. but i start going to church

invited people to church

been to 2 church camps



our car members


girls from camp



i learnt to agree lovingly

not to be quick to judge

maybe seen visions and dreamt of things that i dun understand

felt His touch and been under His arms

question alot

know what's it like to have a direction, a purpose and a rock

celebrated my first Christmas from a different perspective

learning to see His grace and mercy




and in this upcoming year of 2007 ..



i want to

know God better draw closer to Him :)

serve Him in one of the ministry or church

want to be a YOUNG lady of faith and compassion

love people more and be more understanding



spend more time with people

and i dun wanna loose contact with any single person but on the contrary be closer than ever!

learn to look at time and be punctual :P but since everyone always assume i'll be late..this will not be my priority then :P

do more random things like heading to Putrajaya for a day trip and crashing proms or parties :P

learn how to play music or sing or dance perhaps



start and KEEP a DIARY .. not a "week-ry" or so forth

more family time



be more passionate and more fired up

uni .. hmm .. be able to settle in the new environment and cope well with the change

not fall asleep in class

pass my Ps and drive

i wanna be more influencial, more expandable

learn to think BIG and think out of a box

i wanna be more simplistic

more appreciative

more thankful

more lovable

i wanna give more and my very best in everything

and i wanna see the what the beaautiful world holds for me :)



for there's always rainbow behind the cloudy sky





i know it's a darn long list for both .. but i believe that this year .. i'll be witnessing more miracles :) venturing out into more excitements :)
yes. i may seemed to be more busy. but i want u to know that i'll still be the same, the one who will still love u always :) *hugs* and no matter how faraway we are .. true friends and darling family will ALWAYS remain close at my heart.

i've got so much to say

MATTHEW!!! i wanna go out with u!!! havent really caught up with ya since planetshakers conference!!
KIMCHEW!! i know u did real well for ya exams! congrats~! i'll be waiting for my dinner :P
JON!! i need ur number! :P

aikz .. seemed so despo

but i allow me to just say a few thank yous
firstly to BABY for having dinner and sending and accompanying me for the play :D
JO .. u know u're always so awesome and great and i cant thank God enough for u!
JON.. ur encouragement is so .. encouraging and i truly appreciate them!
CX!!!!!!!!! thanks for being my chauffer on wed and forever being so nice and patient with me :) thanks for coming to the play!!
KDD~!!! thanks for going to the play wiht cx despite ur tummy upset!! and not to forget for sending me home :)

i'm actually very blessed :) i figure i need to take some time out and just count my blessings and thank God :)




sigh*

yes.
i'm a lousy friend
i'm a lousy daughter.
i'm trying to improve at my punctuality
i'm trying to be a better person but i cant do it by my own's strength
it's seems as if no one's appreciating my effort >.<
or perhaps to them .. it doesnt EVEN seemed that i've put in any
i know who i am and i know i'm called to live up for more. i know i'm a testimony.
i know people are expecting more of me
that's why i cant give up
and that's why i'm so pressured!!!
i guess perhaps i'm off no good to u
perhaps you think i drink obsessively
or maybe i'm loud or maybe i'm quiet and shy
or u reckon i'm so-called-holy
i'm sorry
i'm really sorry.
if u can see the tears i shed for u. if u know how much i think of u and pray for u.
forgive me.
i should be more understanding and more compassionate. more of this and more of that.

i've spent a day and a night on my bed. with tears. but that's enough.i shall do that no more.
cos God spoke to me today.
through the lil message the pastor spoke. and through the play. through my book and of course, His words, the bible.
There's nothing that i can do to make Him love me more.
My strength is so limiting. . but His is undefined. and he is just so GOOD to me. though i'm unfaithful. though i suck. though i've sinned. though i've screwed things up. he is always faithful always forgiving and always loving.

Lord, thank you for everything. help me to be a better person. to be more pleasing to my family and friends. Lord Jesus, thank you for the love and compassion that u have on your people that u made us your sons and daughters. Fahter, forgive me. i want to live for you and more. God, strengthen me please. you know my dismay and you know how badly i'm hurt. thank you for the peace you've promised. Lord Jesus, i pray and i ask that u touch the hearts of many. Father, i'm desperate. so desperate to see your miracle. too long have i waited but i will keep waiting for it is your timing that is perfect and i dont wanna rush it. God, thank you for the support you sent.bless them O Father. Send your angels around them. Father, also pray for those who are sick. for joanne,leanne,chuxiang,yeeming,chinfei and chunwei. heal them with your touch. Lord, think about those overseas and those who just came back. Lord, pray that you'll keep them safe and bless them with joy as they are away from home. Jesus, i wanna pray for my PLC friends. Lord, even though we're miles apart, please send them friends that could lighten up their days and draw them closer to u. God, pray for my family. i believe that my householda and i will serve the Lord. Father, take away all the brokeness insecurity and arguments. Lord, i pray for your blessings be upon the relationship, may it be friendship and boy girl relationships. Lord,in particularly, i'm praying for my jimuis and their boys. Lord, i wanna pray for those who cared so much about me as well. Father, i thank you so much for sendin me friends during my lowest period. Jesus, bless jon, pat,boss teckkeong,mak,baby,jo,cx,kdd,chinfei,ernest,cheez,jon,weijin,ee,wei and all the planetshakers. God, take away sadness,sickeness and negativity but instead, sow in them an unlimited amount of joy,peace,faithfulness,self-control,patience,goodness and kindness. Lord, i pray that your glory will come through and reign. i know i have only one audience,that's you. God, touch them and knock on the doors of their hearts. God, i surrender all of my life upon your feet. take control. in Jesus mighty name. Amen.

HOLZ UPDATE :)

apart from crashing people's prom ..
hanging out with frens..
sweating my butt off at this weather..
failed attempts of evening out my tanns..
screaming my lungs out of excitement for some unknown reason ...
going to toilet in lightning speed after eating mamaks..
trying out churches...
meeting more friends ..
drive *yes i drove illegally shhhh * and being driven ..
baking cookies..
staying in at home ..
spend time with God ..
day dream...
sleep..
enjoying the luxury and comfort of having a maid ..
savouring the scrumptious malaysian meal that even lee couldnt stop licking her fingers (nah! kidding kidding )


mmmm ... holz been pretty .. GOOD

and
ooohhhh .. guess what?? by God's grace i did unexpectedly well for my exams!
ooohhhh ... i met Grace Wong at midvalley while shopping today
ooohhhh .... planetshakers conference was a fantabulous blast!
ooohhh .... i dint know looking so ONE specific thing in a mall can be SO freaking hard!!!
ooohhhh .. i'm tired >.<

sigh * i pray that God will heal those who are sick and tired. strengthen those who are weary and accompany those who are lonely.
i want all of us to be healed in the name of Jesus!

:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY mother MAK!!!

hope u love our "performance" yesterday,... of me sacrificing my beauty sleep and just practising outside sorta feeding the mozzies at ernest's porch. though all i did was "rumm rumm rumm" :P it was loads of effort k? .. i knew u were damn touched~! i could see the tears at the corner of ur eyes! dun lie mummy!! :P hjeheheheh .. dont worry my dear.. u're always so gorgeous.. so pretty ... and will definitely be my MAKSTER/MAKSAI/elisa/liz/MAK MAK :D

i lovey dovey you!!

AN EXCERPT FROM "GRACE FOR THE MOMENTS"

by Max Lucado

JUST PRAY

"Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises." -James5:13-

Do you want to know how to deepen your prayer life? Pray. Dont prepare to pray. Just pray. Dont read about prayer. Just pray. Dont attend a lecture on prayer or engage in discussion about prayer. Just pray.

Posture, tone and place are personal matters. Select the form that works for you. But dont think about it too much. Dont be so concerned about wrapping the gift that you never give it. Better to pray awkwardly than not at all.

And if you feel you should only pray when inspired, that's okay. Just see to it that you are inspired everyday.



this spoke to me so very much! especially when today is my results day.
great job to all VCE-ers. you've done your best and that's wat matters yea?? i havent checked mine yet. maybe later. teehee :P

free hug

i've decided to check this out after watching oprah today and i was so SO touched!!! it left my eyes wet.

sometimes we underestimate what a hug can do!

all the way to this man and i wanna do something like this too :)

it's all the same :)
we all need a hug. we all need to be loved and to love.

start touching the hearts of many through the little-est thing that you can do :)

MEMORIES :)

well .. perhaps .. this maybe one of the last few posts that i may be putting up in this boarding house .. in this school ..

i've just printed out all the posts that i've blogged throughout my time in PLC .. well .. wat can i say .. i started blogging in this community .. ought to get some memories in hard copies rite.. just in case anything happen! *touch wood*

anywayz .. these few nites has been the hardest time for me EVER in my boarding house life. the saying bye bit.. sigh .. i wonder when can i be strong and face farewells better. i ALwaYs end up in tears >.< really need God's strength to help me pull through cituation like these mann .. seriously.. now that my stretch of corridoor has no one except me .. imagine how sad it is to walk down the dark, gloomy exceptionally quiet corridoor to go to bed after u've tried numbing yourself with series after series of either OC, House or even Simpsons!! T.T
i've been sleeping with tears lately though i tried so hard to fight it. i miss my, my mother elisa, mummy joyce, funny bunny hippie, sista selah, slow eater maggie, happy-go-lucky fai zai, smarty pants sandy and all those who has gone through this unbearable pain!
*gee ..thanks guys.. say u love me somemore! chiu! *

right now .. .there's only joyce, jesh, yin yin, pau and tammi comes back on and off, sooney, bobo left in the bhse..

bidding mandy and steph goodbye tonite!!

AHHHH!!! i cant take it no more. i better stop before i start crying in the com room

BYE. i'll miss u and only love knows how much it is to let you off my arms.

BIRTHDAY WISHES :)

big big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the november babies

2/11 si keat
3/11 jiayee sopoh :P
11/11 jesh
14/11 joyce mummy
16/11 yaya pee
17/11 niki pigi
27/11 pat
28/11 magz and cx
29/11 jian jun

hope i dint leave anyone out *gulp*

anywayz .. after exams was literally hectic!! i have less sleep than during school days!! >.< i want my beauty sleep back! i can literally see the panda eyes on me!! >.< AHH .. but thank God i've been pampered with good food. especially recently .. no .. in actual fact! yesterday!! aunty fun and uncle tham is in town!! :) and it was joyce mummy's cooking birthday party where we each had to cook a dish. i cooked soup noodles which i got the recipe from mum in the dawn at like 1am. haha .. yea .. well .. i manage to amaze myself at my cooking skills that no one was fighting for the toilet after eating my food but instead, i managed to fish some compliments.. woot* hahaha :P yea.. then right after our stomach being bloated by

nard's green curry
lydie's bak kut teh
steph's fried rice
kimo's bandung, jelly and kangkung
and not to forget diana's bailey cheesecake

i had to rush off to chinatown and meet my cousins uncle and aunty for dinner!! WOW~!! u can truly imagine how bloated i was.. but above all .. i'm a happy child :) hehee :P

all the best to those who are still having exams
language peeps and IB girls
form 5s and the SAMs :)

i miss LC fai and nard zai! !! they left the boarding hse already and heebs and selah are going so soon T.T

NO!!!!

:(

i'm so sad now >.< i finally understood the feeling of the woman in the lost coin parable cos I LOST MY NINE WEST BAG THAT I JUST BOUGHT YESTERDAY!! well.. i know i should not be so materialistic and cry over materials .. but i really couldnt help it!! i just lost a BRAND new bag that i took so long to decide whether should i buy it and now that i havent even taken out the silica gel perservative thingy ... it's gone .. within less than 24 hours .. great!!

it was jesh's birthday .. we cooked heaps of good food.. (ps. our definition of good food = everything except bhse food) and gave her a lil bday surprise ... we cooked chicken potato porridge, chicken soup noodles and tofu ( now i understand how hard it is to translate chinese food into english names) anywayz.. yea .. it was good. thank God for that. and i was so tired!! woke up at about 7.30! >.< and the cleaning up was .. energy consuming .. funny how people disperse after eating .. but oh well .. i kinda dispersed too .. all i can say is that beth's heart is so SO kind .. she's so passionate and considerate!!

yea .. so after everything.. i went to unpack my fruitful shopping from yesterday with an excited heart .. but when i opened one of the bags (well i'm treating myself after months of deprivation) and to my utmost shock .. it was gone!!!!!!!! i could even barely remembered when was the last time i saw it yesterday cos i was so tired from everything. was running over the city to youth and then to ice-cream shop and later coffee shop to get jesh's bday cake and ice cream that i barely notice that my bag in the bag was missing!! >.< well .. i was literally holding or having it near by most of the time .. i seriously coudnt recall anytime that people could just take a chance to steal it!! >.< i really dont.. and today .. i was running around the boarding house preparing for the brunch and my door was wide open .. anyone could have seen the bag and took it .. but then .. i seriously doubt that!!

my siblings in Christ and my sisters in boarding house. NO WAY!!! it's definitely not them!! i know it's me and my careless-ness for not looking after my stuff and my materialistic characteristic that allowed all these to happen. i place worldly joy above someone else who is far more greater than it and now .. i deserve it. i guess i need to set myself right. i couldnt help feeling disappointed and sad and i couldnt believe that i even cried over it .. but i know that things happen for a reason and i'm believing in God to be my provider. i am very disappointed at how careless and i really dont understand why he allowed such things to happen. when everything was just going so SO well.. having so much fun in DFO shopping with selah heebe mak and kiwi .. played xbox with mak daniel and kiwi .. and all ALL great fun things .. and suddenly .. one moment.. i can be brought down to sorrow ..

but u know what??

i refuse to give in, yes, i am sad but i'm not gonna let this stop me from doing all the things that He has called me to do. yes. i am offended and angry that God dint prevent this. cos i know He could.

but u know what?

i'm gonna trust Him. i'm gonna remember that

"We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God--those whom he has called according to his plan"
Romans 8:28

i BELIEVE he will provide and plant another sense of joy in me :) but also wanna thank Him for protecting me. instead of loosing myself to some unknown stranger on the dark roads .. being all alone at 10.30-ish .. buying cake .. he kept me safe and walked with me through the darkest alley. so .. i guess loosing a bag is a better exchange :p

but i realllleeeeeeeeee want the bag back and i dont want the sympathy of others.. getting it for me as a present because they felt sorry. i know it's too much to ask for but i want a miracle that it would just appear or someone returned it. but i would definitely believe that That could happen!


this song from church yesterday really came into my head :)

you calm the raging seas
you walk with me through fire and heal all my disease

i trust in you
i trust in you

I believe you're my healer
I BELIEVE YOU ARE ALL I NEED

I BELIEVE YOU'RE MY PORTION
I BELIEVE YOU'RE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME.

Jesus you're all i need.

Nothing is impossible for you.
nothing is impossible for you.

I'M FREE :D

i still remembered how last year's speech night song vividly in my head and now .. it truly applies :)

I'M FREE
I'M FREE
LIKE A FISH IN THE SEA
THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE I WANT TO BE

EVERYTHING I HAVE TO DO IS DONE
EVERY RACE I HAVE TO RUN I'VE RUN
EVERY "i" AND EVERY "T"
I'VE DOT AND CROSSED THEM MATICULOUSLY

COS AS OFF TODAY
I'M FREE

woohoo!! :D i'm seriously off exams pressure now .. the other night as mak and i were showering .. i couldnt even remembered when was the last time i went shopping!! >.< and when was the last time we went out together .. but it doesnt matter ..cos it's ALL happening again!!!

cant believe at 1045 yesterday was the last ever minute we will be sitting in the hall doing an exams!! and yesterday when we were on a taxi after our shopping spree and the lady asked us how weird is it to feel that you dont need to face the stress of studies again ??? WOW!! it never really hit me that i truly can put my studies aside for some 2 or 3 months before i get into uni .. but that's just so unbelievable .. having my butt stuck on the chair for hours and now .. having to walk around (to shop) for hours is really killing my leg muscles!! but i'm not complaining!! hahaha :P i'm loving it.

God, please dont let time fly by so quickly!! i wanna play :)

2 MORE DAYS AND I'M FREE :)

i've got only one paper left!!!! chemistry on thursday and i'm done!! woot* cant wait for that. already been thinking about after exams.
shopping
driving lessons
interviews
work out to burn the fats accumulated due to "exams stress"
parties! and heaps more..
but
*here comes the reality* the saddest thing is that after that there would be loads of goodbyes and farewells. i dont want that to happen!! >.< but then .. i shall remember the famous saying,

"DONT CRY BECAUSE IT'S OVER. SMILE BECAUSE IT HAPPENED"

yup! i shall try. need his strength and his guidance everyday!!

all the best to all SAM -ians :)

k .. shall return to my studies :P oh oh!! all the best to all physician .. jon, alex, cx, waicheong, wendy, shirlene and everyone else for tomorrow!! i will pray for all of you :)

PLANETSHAKERS CONFERENCE :)

hey everyone!!! well .. i think i kinda did really badly for my exams .. but thank God that i have the peace and not fully crashed down after that :) i believe that He is gonna work a miracle and honestly .. if i do get good grades, it's not because of me.. it's because of Him :D He's so awesome!!! anywayz. . i've got some other thing that i wanna tell ALL OF YOU!!! YES!! EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!!

well. .. . i'm sure that everyone is pretty stressed out during this exam or any sort of pressuring period .. just hang on there k?? think about holz and anticipate the time when all these are all over!! hahaa :P well well .. i definitely am!! cant wait for holz ... i duno what people are up to .. i wanna go to CHINA!!!! (before 2008 at least ) and apparently the penang trip is cancelled and changed to melaka?? is it right?? anywyaz. . just update me more about it k?? but most importantly .. i know that there's something really cool happening on 13th to 15th of decemeber !!!! it's a conference - PLANETSHAKERS CONFERENCE in Malaysia!!!!! planetshakers is the church that i'm currently attending (in case some of you dont know) and they're coming to Malaysia!!! *woot* yay!!!!!!

well .. first impression of church from people -> B-O-R-I-N-G !! .. just plain sitting down and listening to some person up there talking .. falling asleep on the bench and drooling at the corner of the mouth!

false impression 2 - stern, strict, upright position, no fooling around, super serious and gives u goosebums and a sense of gloom

*red lights and buzzers going off* TU TU TU TU TU TU TU!!!!!!!

WRONG!!!

hahahaha :P well ... not all churches are like that!! .. it's a modern church , and the music is fantastic!!! all i can say is come experience it yourself!! .. :) those who love electric guitars, drums this may be your type!! and those who love soft music, the worship is gonna touch your heart mann!!!


personally.. i've been to a conference once and a camp once!! both of them are truly eye-opener and i've learnt so much that money cant buy !! oh well .. i hate to say this .. but well .. to go to that conference, there's a cost. early bird registrations are cheaper obviously and group entrance, i'm pretty sure that we can get a discount!! so .. whoever who wanna go .. and somewhat wanna find out more about my experience in becoming a Christian and how my life has been changed .. or you just dont know wat's the purpose of living or just wanna come and spend more time with me :P hahha *nah!! being super vain* please leave me a tag or email me k? so that i can arrange something!! i promise this is gonna be an experience tat opens up ur views!!!

well .. if you really feel like going and money is truly a matter, email me too .. well .. it's such a rare occasion that munyee is being so generous .. so !! grab this opportunity!!!! :P but i just wanna welcome u all to the night sessions, they are FOC!!! :) :) but anyone expressing any interest, please feel free to email me or just drop me a tag k????


for more info, please go to this website and check it out!!!

http://www.planetshakers.com.my/planetshakers/default.asp?id=25

sorry .. i couldnt and dont know how to do the cool link thingy so u guys would just have to copy and paste!! haha :P sorry!! but anywayz .. if u guys are too lazy .. here's the brief details

Venue : Sunway Pyramid Grand Convention Centre
Date : 13th - 15th December 2006 
early bird registration (until 6th nov) - RM 75 (but as i say, if money matter, talk to me k? )

oh!! i forgot to mention, it's like a camp thingy but just that they dun provide food and accomodation. so .. full day and night programme with breaks in between .. so ..yea!! come along and bring everyone along!! :)

by the way.. i'm not promoting this conference or anything k??? i'm just opening up my invitations and just to share something with all of you and it would be indeed AWESOME to just even spending a few days with you guys whilst sharing my experiences with God with you!

give me a reply k?!!! :)
God bless and love ya heaps!!

EXAMS STARTS TOMORROW!!!

WAHHHH!!!!! my goodness!! exams practically starts tomorrow and i cant believe it happening!!! mummy arr!! >.< !!! i'm like super unprepared and this is the worst feeling to have prior to an exam! honestly .. this is the worst PES - prior exams syndrome i ever felt!!!! seeing how much others have been progressing and i'm still stationary!! aikz .. but i know tat i shouldnt compare .. so .. i should go back and do my own thing and pray hard for God's divine intervention (according to lee) :P hehehe .. but i'm seriously trusting God for it!!! *fingers crossed*

also .. i would like to SAY BIG BIG BIG~ thank you for those who never fails to encourage me and to support me with lovey lovey sms during this time .. and big one to LZ pres for even attempting to call me!! :P hehehe :P so .. yea .. thanks everyone!!

and one more thing.. oh! prayer for those who are having exams soon and or are currently doing theirs!

Dear God, i just wanna pray for those who are gonna sit for their exams soon and all those who are sitting their exams O LOrd, may it be in Australia or in Malaysia O LOrd. Father God, i just pray tat you'll give us the peace and the calmness during adn before exams O Lord. Give us the wisdom that we need to do our papers and remind us that as long as we tried our best, you are going to do the rest. Heavenly father, give us the strength that we need to just go through this super stressful period O Lord. Please dont let any pimple come up on our beautiful faces O Lord and God, please heal those who are currently sick Father. Thank you so much for sending me friends and family who never fails to encourage me. Lord, help me to be an encouragement and a blessing to people too. God, again, for those who are taking their exams now or soon, please guide us and comfort us o Lord. In Jesus Mighty name i pray. Amen. :)



anywayz .. just another note of encouragement i read from "Grace of the Moment" by Max Lucado.
may it motivates you all!!


A GENTLE LAMB
"Where God's love is, ther is no fear, because God's perfect love drives out all fear." 1 John 4:18

A lot of us live with a hidden fear that God is angry at us. Somewhere sometime and some Sunday school class or some television show convinced us that God has a whip behind his back, a paddle in his back pocket and he is going to nail us when we've gone too far.
No concept could be more wrong! Our Saviour's Father is very fond of us and only wants us to share his love with us.
We have a Father who is filled with compassion, a feeling Fahter who hurts when his children get hurt. WE SERVE A GOD WHO SAYS THAT EVEN WHEN WE'RE UNDER PRESSURE AND FEEL LIKE NOTHING IS GOING TO GO RIGHT, HE IS RIGHT THERE WAITING FOR US, TO EMBRACE US WHETHER WE SUCCEED OR FAIL. (this part spoke to me the most! that's why i use capital letters!! hehehe :P may it speak to you too!! :P )
He doesnt come quarelling and wrangling and forcing his way into anyone's heart. He comes into our hearts like gentle lamb, not a roaring lion.

- Walking with the Savior-

PLC YEAR 12 CLASS 2006~!!!!!

i havent been blogging for some while but here are some pictures to update u all :P

sept holz ..



mel's 18th burfday party at hilton



sis' dessert - one of her hols assignment! how fun



hillsong united in citilife church



looks familiar?




yr 12 boarders sofias outing



getting ready for valedictory dinner



my c4 ex-roomies after valedictory dinner :P



ESL class party



sitting like china a pek



esl classmates are just so lovably crazy &fun!!



after leavers assembly



we're free !!



chem class



bio class




if we just reach out and take the first step
Then all the wonderful stories,
Of colours, rainbows and pictures are made.

Even as we tread the less taken road,
Surrounded with midst and uncertainties,
You’ve encouraged me to keep running,
And ensured me of my destiny.

Thank you for introducing me to new world
and bringing me to know more awesome friends
Thank you for crying with me in the middle of the night
Thank you your smiles
Thank you for your time


Friday was the last day of school but this whole week i have been crying my eye balls out cos i was so sad about this farewell and the stress level is flying high especially when exams are drawing so so much more closer!! >.< but facing with all the gorgeous beautiful faces that i've been seeing for 3 years and now it's time to say bye was indeed heart breaking but i know that God is gonna keep their heads high and protect them from evil. i will not be who i am now if it wasnt for everything that have come across me so far. the people from malaysia as well as the people from melbourne. i'm just like a jigsaw puzzle made up of different components but the picture is a whole :)

during final day, i gave my last announcement or more like speech during breakfast and it dint hit me that i am retiring!! >.< no more all those .. shhh .. please listen to my announcements.. or those sorts ..and i did regret that i dint really made a touchy speech to make everyone cry! ISH!! >.< haha .. but it's all good.. the new committee will definitely lead the boarding house to a higher level but still .. the saying goodbye is still the hardest bid :(

i've got so much to say and yet i find it so hard to express through words. perhaps actions or even tears speak louder than words.

God gave me a group cuddle that i havent had since 2 terms ago after the year 12 video. the 3 of us in each others arms once again was just so priceless.

anywayz. . perhaps thank you is better than bye. so .. thank you all whom i have met in the span of 3 years and nurtured me with your love and your care. i'll definitely miss you girls.



God, I commit my Year 12 friends into your hands. Father Lord, I know that you can take care of them better than I can do. But God, I thank you so much that you placed them in my life and providing me with friendships that may and have already changed my life so so much. God, I just pray that you’ll keep them safe in your arms and never let them go. Jesus, I know that your presence is said to be manifest-presence. God, i just wanna pray that even though distance may once again separate my friends and I, but lord, I just pray that u’ll seal our friendship in your name. God of love, I thank you so much for sending me friends who nurture me so much, friends who care and share, friends who are always so uplifting and so passionate. Dear Lord, please hear this prayer and just bless them with your love and your joy. God, I know that you have a great plan for each and every one of us O Lord. Help us to see things from your point of view. Give us the strength and wisdom to pursue the goals that you’ll created for us and be the encourager as we run this race. God, help us to know that this is not a permanent parting. Lord, help us to be forever friends as we go on different paths of careers and different destinations. God, I cant thank you enough that you’ve been such an awesome friend. Transform me to be how you are to others. Father, it just is so saddening that have to say bye to the people I see so often. It’s just so hard that when I finally settle in a comfort zone, feeling so loved and knowing my purpose, it’s just so hard to accept that we have to go and just take away the memories with me. Dear Jesus, I just hope that you will sustain my memories in my head even as time past and God, please send your angels to ALWAYS be there to guard and protect my friends and may they are always loved. May we cherish the times that we spent together and hang on to the fond memories that we shared.

In Jesus Mighty name.
Amen.


i heart you



i love all my day girls friends. i love my boarders sisters too :'D

EXAMS

i'm really screwed!!! >.< i need someone to scold me for not studying!! i've been giving myself lame excuses from doing work and considering how exams are LITERALLY round the corner and i've been slacking off for more than one week .. I"M DOOMED!!!

I REALLY NEED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE LITTLE WOODEN PEOPLE
MAX LUCADO


well .. i've got this forwarded email so long ago that when i was searching it it was almost at the bottom of my inbox but i'm glad that i dint delet it .. may it inspire you and may it speaks to you :)



The Wemmicks were small wooden people. Each of the wooden people was carved by a woodworker named Eli. His workshop sat on a hill overlooking their village. Every Wemmick was different. Some had big noses, others had large eyes. Some were tall and others were short. Some wore hats, others wore coats. But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the village.
And all day, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing: They gave each other stickers. Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of gray dot stickers. Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking stars or dots on one another.
The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got stars. But if the wood was rough or the paint chipped, the Wemmicks gave dots. The talented ones got stars, too. Some could lift big sticks high above their heads or jump over tall boxes. Still others knew big words or could sing very pretty songs. Everyone gave them stars.
Some Wemmicks had stars all over them! Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star. Others, though, could do little. They got dots.
Punchinello was one of these. He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell. And when he fell, the others would gather around and give him dots. Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more dots. He would try to explain why he fell and say something silly, and the Wemmicks would give him more dots.
After a while he had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside. He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him another dot. In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and give him one without reason.
"He deserves lots of dots," the wooden people would agree with one another.
"He's not a good wooden person."
After a while Punchinello believed them. "I'm not a good wemmick," he would say. The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of dots. He felt better around them.
One day he met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met. She had no dots or stars. She was just wooden. Her name was Lulia.
It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick. Some admired Lulia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star. But it would fall off. Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot. But it wouldn't stay either.
"That's the way I want to be," thought Punchinello. "I don't want anyone's marks." So he asked the stickerless Wemmick how she did it.
"It's easy," Lulia replied. "every day I go see Eli."
"Eli?"
"Yes, Eli. The woodcarver. I sit in the workshop with him."
"Why?"
"Why don't you find out for yourself? Go up the hill. He's there. "
And with that the Wemmick with no marks turned and skipped away.
"But he won't want to see me!" Punchinello cried out.
Lulia didn't hear. So Punchinello went home. He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other stars and dots.
"It's not right," he muttered to himself. And he resolved to go see Eli.
He walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big shop. His wooden eyes widened at the size of everything. The stool was as tall as he was. He had to stretch on his tiptoes to see the top of the workbench. A hammer was as long as his arm. Punchinello swallowed hard.
"I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave. Then he heard his name.
"Punchinello?" The voice was deep and strong.
Punchinello stopped.
"Punchinello! How good to see you. Come and let me have a look at you."
Punchinello turned slowly and looked at the large bearded craftsman.
"You know my name?" the little Wemmick asked.
"Of course I do. I made you."
Eli stooped down and picked him up and set him on the bench. "Hmm, " he spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles. "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."
"I didn't mean to, Eli. I really tried hard."
"Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."
"You don't?"
"No, and you shouldn't either. Who are they to give stars or dots? They're Wemmicks just like you. What they think doesn't matter, Punchinello. All that matters is what I think. And I think you are pretty special."
Punchinello laughed. "Me, special? Why? I can't walk fast. I can't jump. My paint is peeling. Why do I matter to you?"
Eli looked at Punchinello, put his hands on those small wooden shoulders, and spoke very slowly. "Because you're mine. That's why you matter to me."
Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this--much less his maker. He didn't know what to say.
"Every day I've been hoping you'd come," Eli explained.
"I came because I met someone who had no marks."
"I know. She told me about you."
"Why don't the stickers stay on her?"
"Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what they think. The stickers only stick if you let them."
"What?"
"The stickers only stick if they matter to you. The more you trust my love, the less you care about the stickers."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"You will, but it will take time. You've got a lot of marks. For now, just come to see me every day and let me remind you how much I care."
Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the ground.
"Remember," Eli said as the Wemmick walked out the door. "You are special because I made you. And I don't make mistakes."
Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think he really means it."
And when he did, a dot fell to the ground.

Hope this encourages all of you today! Always remember that you are a beautiful child of God! Wonderfully made for a great purpose! May GOd Bless you

TRIALS AND PLANET WORSHIP

just checked my umat results... part 1&2 kinda sucked .. i did worse than 50% of the other candidates who took the exams!! oh weellll ... so long to med and hi hi to other alternatives :) i'm still excited about uni though :P and i believe that God will lead me

there's this beautiful saying from a card i got from my heads of boarding, mr&mrs curtis

"FOOTPRINTS" *me trying my best at paraphrasing*

there's this man. walking along a sandy beach. as God led him walk past this beach, reflecting on his life. He saw 2 sets of footprints everywhere and then through this stretch of the beach, the only saw a set of footprint. it dint take him long to realise that it was during the toughest time of his life. he dint hestitate and ask God, " God, why is there only one set of footprints during my hardest time in life?"

God patiently replied, "it was when i carried you at my back, that's why there's only my footprints"

wow~! how beautiful was tat!!??!1 hehehe .. yea .. it indeed gave me comfort :) may it give u comfort too!!

holz with a blink came to an end.. it was so sad leaving that house i stayed in for 2.5 weeks.. >.< with my cousins and my sister.. i have to admit that i DO really felt loved and i really thank God for Him giving and reinforcing my ability to love again. i've gotta admit that there was one point of my life that i duno how to love ppl .. scary isnt it? i was really searching for an answer or a method to love .. but i duno how or when .. it just came back!! and i'm truly thankful for that!!! :) so .. now i'm gonna use my God-given abilities to do great things!!! :) :) *including blowing my snort on the muscus-full tissuepaper* hehehe :P

anyhoo ... i'm caught in the dilemma of going to penang or attending mak's bday!! hmmmm ..

oh yea .. brief note on planet worship - 1 word sums it all .. AWESOME!!
it was indeed a fantastic encounter!! seriously .. i'm getting more and more blown away by wat my church is offering!!! it was indeed an eye-opener!! but i guess i need to serve God back too .. by giving up my time .. and my reaccquired ability - love ppl more :) i'll post some of the messages when i have time k? but i met a lot of really nice people and i reckon the world is getting smaller too!! i met kc's neighbour!!! hahahaha .. :D

anywayz.. just wanna say couple of BIG thank you's and some encouragements to these ppl
thanks twin for ur timely encouragement , i pray for u always too
pat - stand up and not doubt ur capabilities anymore k? we have faith in u!!
jo - thanks for the long talk that benefited both of us.. u escaping from ur boring talk and me .. in ways u cant imagine! :P
han -thanks for ur constant updates and encouragement! i often pray for ur relationship and u too!!
ai jet - thanks for ur sms!! really motivating and stirred me up for the day
seng- for his encouraging sms!! totally heart-warming
i duno y but i guess God put people in my mind for a reason and paster ian said tat most of the time God wants me to pray for them .. so yealor
I WILL :)