I SEE LOVE ...

Stop.

2011-12-09T11:36:00.004+11:00

So,
i know i have been busy. ever since august or september, time just seemed to zoooom by and everything seemed to be a blur. Dont get me wrong. It's not that I've been having rough patches all throughout. NOT AT ALL. It's just life gets soo busy, in a good way, and you know the saying, "time flies when you're having fun" yea. That, is I.

I cant believe I am now an official graduate! Results were out and I've ticked all the boxes, passed everything. I can only give God the glory for pulling me through these 4.5 years of uni despite all forms of procrastination, dragging my feet to finish my assignments.

We had a christmas get together with the urbies at my place yesterday. Vitory mentioned that it was only 3 weeks left before we bid 2011 goodbye and welcome 2012. Seriously, where has the year been? I remembered I used to journal heaps and when i look back occassionally, things jolts back to memories. This year, I hadnt been consistent at all. I tried but somehow, only the key turning points of my life are documented, mainly the low parts. Happy days seemed to be taken for granted with just a line or two (but thanks to iphone and instagram, there's still some photos).

I realised that I have been going and doing. These are constant and continuous. There were fun things but I realised that I hadn't stopped for the moment to reflect and as cliche as it sounds, smell the roses. to just stop.
and step back.

Read Wei Xiong's blog yesterday on his post on Doug and Hooch

It really moved me and got me thinking, when was the last time I noticed someone.

I've been trying to get to places in time and looking forward to the thing that I have set out to do and been too fixated. It has been a while since I last pulled out a "go-with-the-flow". Everything has to go according to my iCal and my schedule. Being organised is good but the second half of the year has just been sooo packed with things that it kinda felt that I have taken the wheel and run according to my timeline.

When was the last time I've allowed God to show me something cool and out of the blue?

Perhaps, the final 3 weeks of 2011.

In the midst of seeing and hanging out with all the amazing people that I love in Melbourne before I head home, I'm making room.

I'm making time.

He deserves them.

to keep you entertained, for now

2011-11-22T10:47:00.002+11:00

i know i havent been writting. Just a little busy with life - placements, nursing registrations, work, assignments, weddings, rehearsals and travelling.

i am having a fantastic time tho, follow me on instagram (munyeesee) to see my daily adventures :)

for now, check out planetshakers USA tour.

USA TOUR DOCO // PLANETSHAKERS from planetshakers on Vimeo.

Ideas by the heart

2011-10-13T18:28:00.001+11:00

out of procrastination, instead of studying, this is what i found!

rather amazing i thought i must share!

Ideas by heart from annika bäckström on Vimeo.

project

2011-10-03T11:53:00.004+11:00

there's a few random questions i'd like to go around asking ppl on the street one day. just for the sake of it. you know how there's satorialist and fashion photographer? well, i cant take awesome photos as yet, but one day, perhaps, if i have time and instead of doing my silly research proposal that i'm currently chugging away, this would be my project.

I'd ask [in research terms, survey] people -

when are you truly happy?

what makes you happy?

what is the one thing you miss doing the most?

and then, after listening to their stories, I'd say-

LET'S GO GET MACCAS ICE CREAM CONE.

just because :)

little too much

2011-09-30T12:37:00.001+10:00

I'd rather love a little too much x

during the wait at the traffic lights

2011-09-29T15:43:00.004+10:00

If you're in Melbourne this week, you would agree that it kinda feel like you're in London. It was gloomy, wet and thunderstorming the whole week. If you want me to put it in one word - Yuck!

So, we were on our way to dinner yesterday. It was still pouring and I was lucky enough to be in a car. I dont know how you feel on a wet day, if you're one of the pedestrian on the road with cars zooming past as you cling on super tightly on your umbrella. The umbrella and the wind always put up a good fight on a wet rainy day. Well, for me, as much as I love the rain, I would just have the destination in my head and focus on getting there. ASAP!

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to be picked up in a car to go for dinner. We pulled to a halt at the traffic lights. As the rain hit against the windscreen, and whilst I was waiting for the lights, I tend to look around towards the streets. People watching can be fun! They tell amazing stories without words.

Pedestrian 1

He must have just came out of work, judging from his smart working attire. Power walking, he seemed like he had his mind set on going to where he was heading towards.

15 m ahead of him was a domestic bin that had been pushed out earlier the day for the rubbish collectors. Its lid was opened and collecting rain. Not a pleasant thing to deal with when the rain stops and you're the one collecting the bin. This man came, saw, and just conveniently flicked the lid back on and continued walking towards where he was going.

Pedestrian 2

Random rubbish was clogging the main drainage along the road (yes, melbourne has rubbish floating around too on rainy days). Well, I was at Richmond, that kinda explained the rubbish a little. This man, was casually walking along the street. It was raining, he had an umbrella, but he didnt really use it. He was well groomed and he seemed really happy, there was just a big grin on his face. He came around from the corner, semi tapping his feet. Then, he bent forwards towards the drain.

First thing that came into my head - "DODGY BETUL! What is this guy doing!!!!"

Then, I realised, he was unclogging the drain so that there wouldnt be a mini flood happening on the road.

WOW! Within 2 minutes of waiting at the traffic lights, I've seen such amazing acts. Perhaps, this is really doing good when no one was watching. I guess they were genuinely not expecting in return.

They did it, just because.

Soon enough, the traffic lights turned green.

We drove ahead and continued on. It was still raining, weather was still yuck. But, I knew that the rubbish bin lid was shut and not collecting rain, and the drain had now been unclogged.

I came around the traffic lights, with a big grin on my face, happier than when we first pulled up. It wasnt that anything significant had happened. It was just me knowing and witnessing it for myself, there are still good people around :)

R.I.P.

2011-09-20T17:34:00.003+10:00

This week, we said goodbyes to 2 amazing men from our church - Shaun Bergin and Dylan Hall.

Personally, I dont know them. I just know of people who are related to them but they both have definitely touched my heart.

Dylan is 6 years old, brother to Jasmine and Eric. These kids are absolutely fantastic and having them in Planetkids had always been so much fun! I went to Dylan's funeral the other day and I realised these kids are actually WAYYY stronger and bigger in spirit than i could ever imagined. The photos of how they walked along Dylan and loved their little brother despite of his condition really touch my heart. They came to church on Sunday after the funeral. I saw Jasmine lift her hands and still praise God with all her heart. That in itself was beautiful and it was so hard to not move me to tears. The other kids at church were so gorgeous as well. Aimee and Ryan uphold them in prayer and it was evident that the presence of God was so strong when the kids prayed.

I guess, this in itself was a testimony. To see that Jasmine and Eric, despite their pain and questions, still came to church and still worship Our Father, was indeed very moving. And for the other kids, to love them and to pray with them and to support them, just in their actions speak more than 100000 words.

Shaun is a 26 year old footy player. Husband to Jess, son-in-law to Geoff and LeeAnne from planetkids. He suffered from a sporting injury that had left him unconscious (head/spinal cord injury?) and was put on life support. Today, we bid him goodbye after the good fight that he had put on! Perhaps, one can argue, how could this happen? He was so young and everyone prayed, and everyone stood in faith. I guess, with a lot of things, we wouldnt know why God did what He did. And i guess we would never know why God didnt carry out the promises that we once thought we saw, until we reach heaven and finally see things from the eternity point of view and in a wayyy bigger perspective than our human earthly mind could try to percieve right now. But for now, we just need to know that God is still God and He is still good. As Bea said, surely, the greater testimony is yet to happen. Just you wait.

I was on facebook and was just scrolling on all the encouragement, prayers and thoughts that were posted on the Bergins and the Andersons' wall. I love how people stood around each other and encourage them. My heart breaks as i know that they are walking through this grief. Lee Ann and Geoff are such inspirational people in the PK team. But at the same time, it's touching, knowing that in this journey of life, there's all these people that are thinking about you and believing with you through tough times. To cheer you on and to cry with you. To declare God's goodness and the light of hope when it feel like its utter darkness.

I love how love is made real, especially at this time.

To the Halls, Bergins and Andersons,

thank you for showcasing your legends and champions - Dylan and Shaun, to the world. our prayers and thoughts are with you. God is surely working something tremendously good along your way. love you guys heaps!

1 Corinthians 15:54b-55

“Death has been swallowed up in victory.”

“Where, O death, is your victory?

Where, O death, is your sting?”

i LIKE

2011-09-19T23:18:00.003+10:00

sookers had always been rubbing in and saying that i'm getting old. Well, i guess she is PARTIALLY right. I cant freeze time ok? hahaha so it is natural to grow old what!

I sleep early and dont stay up late anymore. 1 o'clock is the latest i am willing to toothpick my eyes open. I dont like going out super late and i rather movies than games!

BUT HEY! I'M STILL COOL AND I STILL LOVE TO HAVE FUN OK!

I rediscovered my passion and joy in meeting new people and having the opportunity to hang out with people i dont usually hang out with / people i dont see so often! It's in doing the little random things like travelling all the way to the city at 730am just for baseball, sleeping in someone's room in between service and dinner, getting shot by millions of paintball and still smile at the end of the day, catching up in the library, watching and cheering on a volleyball game and impromtu outings to jells park.

somewhere, somehow, along the way, i've learnt to prioritise. To put what is closest to your heart first. It is not hard to know who is important in your life cos they'll always be in your thoughts. And, i cant be like superman, fly across to the other side of the earth in 2 mins. I can only do one small thing at a time. As uncool as it sound, i rather turn down an invite to some extravagant party and just snuggle up next to my ex-housie. I guess with growing up, you learnt to appreciate people more, hey?

So, yes. Growing up is inevitable and who says growing up is growing old?!! I still giggle and laugh super loud (and yes, in my amazingly high pitch!) at the silliest of things. But i think after taking in 23 years of oxygen, you realised that little things go long way.

After all, they say best things in life are free anyway! :) and well, I think its ok to slow down as we grow older. (no, i'm not saying the energy of my youth has departed me! NEVER admitting that!!!) But i'm just saying that in slowing down and taking a step back, you will realise that you actually have time to smell the flowers!! Whereas, when you're all hyped and running around heaps, you miss the little things.

i like smelling the flowers.

i like going on food adventures.

and you know what? I actually really like it when it rains and i'm indoor.

i like the sound of rain as it hits the floor or the window.

I like how secured and safe i can be inside the house.

so who cares if i'm growing old and not as exciting as people think i am.

as long as i'm with the people i love, and doing the things that makes my heart go fuzzy, who cares!

i like!

NEW SEASON

2011-09-15T17:38:00.002+10:00

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

You know how i was sharing bout new things are yet to come. I think it is here!

I've been meeting and hanging out with people that I usually dont get to as well, it's AWESOMMMEE! yes, it's true. i'm cant live without people. but it's just all so fun and exciting when you finally meet someone(s) new or even learning something new about an old acquaintance! The whole sense of curiousity, forming new friendship and stepping out of your comfort zone thing can actually be quite fun! [yes, i do love it]! And to be honest, it's nice to finally balance the scale of farewell and people leaving me vs making new friends and doing random things!

With camp, discipleship, uni and just this phase of life that i'm in now, it's all so exciting and all so new! God is speaking to me and just leading me to this place of TOTAL and UTTER dependence on Him. It's either ALL or NOTHING. and sometimes, it can be scary.

Through that also, I've learnt to lay my "except" and excuses down. and hey, i still make mistakes! i just made the stupidest one yesterday. (not quite appropriate to share) but i've learnt to deal with it and pick up my feet. Just when you thought, yup, i've got it all and then you find yourself in the most awkward spot!! HAHAHA

I think I sorta know how to leave the things of the past behind and pressing on forward to the goal that Christ has set before me.

At times, I hear His gentle whisper saying, "BE STILL and know that I am HERE".

And at times, I feel His gentle tug, pushing me to LOVE and KEEP LOVING.

Kristal once said this in urban life. She felt as though God is putting a white cloth over the things of the past and made everything white as snow again. What was once darkness, is now brought to light.

Say something nice

2011-09-08T21:23:00.000+10:00

Spread some positivity :) and make ppl smile :D

Colossians 3:8-

2011-08-25T10:29:00.003+10:00

And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Colossians 3

2011-08-23T08:26:00.000+10:00

So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

I have more than enough.

2011-08-17T11:58:00.003+10:00

last night, we had a movie and burrito night at DanT's.

we watched Soul sufer, based on a true story.

these few weeks, I've met lots of people who had shared stories of all the other tough times that they had been through - bad clinical experiences. dealing with relationship difficulties. facing the death of their youngest son.

and, watching this movie, seeing the fighting spirit in this young lady and rethinking about the life that I'm living. I am so very blessed. I have more than enough and I wanna do more with the little bits that I have. I really love how Bethany Hamilton inspires others when she least expect she could. I think it is often a pleasant surprise, when you look down at your own brokenness and wonder what can you possibly offer, and then, see the miraculous and endless possibility at the end of the wave. That's what HOPE is, hey?

To be honest, that movie did not have the best production or any fancy visual or you could even say that the plot is predictable. But I love the fact that it is a true story. A beautiful piece of someone's life. I'm 23 years old and the story of this 13 year old chic from Hawaii really moved me. Makes me question about what am I doing with my life!

I wanna do something. I wanna explore, discover and go on an adventure! There's something within me that is busting to GO but I just dont know what or how to get there. Uncertainties and crossroads are so annoying but I guess that helps in keeping me grounded in some ways and help me to be more logical?

At the moment, I'm just figuring out on what's next and waiting on God. I cant wait to see the connecting dots come together.

So, just you wait and watch this space! I'm pretty sure something exciting is about to happen!!

ps. thank you so much for your prayers. 2 nursing interviews done!

for a change

2011-08-14T21:55:00.003+10:00

Quite a few people in uni has had haircuts recently. In their justifications, it is to look better and more professional in our upcoming interviews.

It's scary that our next chapter unfolds so soon. Well, it is already August and we are all nearly done. In LESS THAN 10 WEEKS! OHMYGOODNESS! (ok, i havent even started my first assignment, maybe i should get on to that first! HAHA) but yes, anyway, I joined the trend in uni and went for a haircut myself too! Yea, my fringe was a bit long and it was indeed time for a trim. Umm, well, trim, was sort of an understatement.

I went for a cut. I think I've chopped off more than 15cm of my hair! YUP! just like that, in less than an hour, ALL GONE!

To be honest, I miss my long hair. The moment my hairdresser chopped it, there was this cringe in my heart. I knew I'd regret it! Some people who noticed my short hair said i looked like lok yee. (I DONT WANNA LOOK LIKE HER!!)

but, it is time. to move on.

When I was younger, I used to always cut my hair when I was sad, or felt like I need a lighter head. This time, I need a change. Just because?

I think i still hang my head low and trying to adapt to the new me. Both Sarahs came up to me and said, they really like it and Sarah H actually told me to wear it with confidence.

Dan texted me today from Malaysia with this verse,

Jeremiah 17:7

But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

So, yea! This time, for a change, it is indeed time to walk in the confidence that is in Jesus alone. I kept telling myself to walk and take one step at a time. But really, I'm bored and tired of taking the baby steps. I need to dream and DREAM BIG again. Living a mediocre lifestyle is so draining. Yes, I still have my issues to deal with, but this new haircut is to remind me, to move on and go for it.

These are my nursing interview times for this week. Pray along with me! :)

Monday 3pm Southern Health (Monash Medical Center)

Tuesday 3pm Alfred Hospital

Friday 9am Austin Hospital

OH! something totally random but MADE MY DAY!

one of my kids celebrated her bday and she made some lemon slices for her party. today, she brought them in for me!!! i felt so loved <3

2011-08-12T00:32:00.003+10:00

So, my besties flew down from kl to VISIT ME last week! (yes, i tell everyone the reason they are here is to see me, not particularly for holidays, which could possibly be their intention hahaha :p ) it was one of the best week i've had in a long time. i wagged classes, missed out on uni but IT WAS ALL WORTH IT! :) :)

my little white corolla faithfully took us to peninsula, ballarat and daylesford. To all the places that I'd always thought it's nice but never quite had the chance or time to go to.

we had lots of good laugh and it was nice, being sandwiched in love again. weather was cold especially in ballarat, but it was nice and fuzzy for me, from the inside (so cliche i know)

this trip, if anything, has shed me new light and reminded me how much and deeply the people around me and those who are overseas, love and have loved me for who i am. i always knew people cared for me but to have gone through so much, and finally had the epiphany and the revelation that i have people who wont give up on me, was so moving.

to you out there,

thank you for always believing in me. thank you for loving me as i am, and never gives up on me.

2011-07-25T17:10:00.004+10:00

There has been so many farewells recently that it's not funny anymore! I'm not made out of a heart of stone (as rach fi would have described it), so, it aint the easiest for me to say goodbye to people.

I realised that when people pack, and if you're lucky (or unlucky?) enough to be there to witness the process, you have the priviledge of seeing bits and pieces of their lives through the little knick-knacks that lie around. I was totally fascinated and being a horder myself, apart from finding everything interesting, i realised that behind the so-called-unneccessary-junk, there's a story of itself.

Over the past few weeks, I had to say goodbye to 2 of my ex-housies, 1 of my urbies and a friend very close to my heart. AND, another one is leaving in few days! (now now, munyee, hold on to your tears! it'll be so embarassing to cry in the com lab!)
and i was talking to my besties back at home over skype and totally broke down. I was suffering from quarter life crisis and asking them the big questions about life, people, career and everything else under the sun.

I guess i was overwhelmed. The thought about people leaving home for good or going to another country for work, yes it is exciting and i am very happy for them, but I think I just need to work on my adaptation skills and be better at getting used to not seeing the familiar faces i used to see every so often. I find it so funny that yesterday, it was su ann who was boarding the flight but she had to check on me and make sure that i'm ok.

but what she said was very true.
If there leaving was nothing to be sad about, or the fact that it doesnt hurt as much, would probably mean there wasnt anything to celebrate in the friendships and bonds made here.

Beat sent me a very encouraging email (which i will share more next time), talking about seasons in life and I realised that I am in this strategic season of redefining myself and who I am in God and where I am to go. Who I was, what I'm going through now will shape who I am yet to become in the future! Being at the point when you are so near (yet so far) to the end of uni, flogged with job applications and asking about what is to happen next and where to go feels like you're juggling with A WHOLE heap of things. but then again, you just need to chill out, lay back and gather you bits and pieces. Having been on placements for the whole while makes me feel so burnt out. But talking to my uni friends again made me realised i'm not the only one going through this silly little quarter life crisis.

Instead, it really got me thinking.

Before Ant left, he gave me this whole heap of craft materials, papers and all things cool. He always believe in the creative side of me. Li Yin gave me some of her clothes and some household goods. It reminds me of the housies time that we shared. And before Su Ann left, she wrote me this letter of how I changed her life by being myself.

Yes, I am at the season of dealing with people leaving my physical circle and searching for directions. It kinda feels like I am in a season of uncertainty but also a season preparation.

So, yes. I have now a few more things in my room. they are not junk and i only hoard things with sentimental values (ie. everything! hahaha) but they do have stories to tell. from a season of someone else's life and now entering to mine.

and yes. i will clean my room tonight!

Happy Ending

2011-07-23T18:34:00.004+10:00

I had this song by Mika in my head on the way back from Ballarat post my placements that it is only then that i finally realised that i had been singing to the wrong lyrics ALL THE WHILE! how embarassing!!!!

ORIGINAL LYRICS

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

MUN YEE'S VERSION

This is the way you love me,
I'm not pretending

Full of hope, of love, of glory,
My Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
just us together.

I was singing to it after YEARS only i realised i was singing to the wrong thing!! i was obviously living in my own world for far too long! hahaha still i think i like my version of it better. i didnt know the song was talking about a breakup or the reality of life where there was no happy ending! LIES i tell you. I still believe in happily ever after. I'd still like to live in my cupcake world and yes, dreams do come true :)

2 of my friends just got attached and 1 couple just got engaged!!!! I AM SO EXCITEDDDDD, and i just cant hide it!!!! WOOT WOOT!

prayer request

2011-07-14T02:45:00.003+10:00

pls pray for my mummy. one of the blood vessels on her eye clotted and burst and it has now affected her vision. she can still see but it is very blurry. sookers and dad are yet to take her to the specialist and find out more about the diagnosis and what is happening. mummy is saying it's no biggie but it scares the world out of me. i cant imagine life without vision!

so, please pray for my mummy.

yes, i do appreciate prayers asking for healings and speedy recovery.

but i would appreciate prayers that ask God to open her eyes so that she can see Jesus through this time. just like how paul was struck blind by God and completely turned around. I'm believing for that kinda miracle. would you stand in faith and believe with me?

I MISS

2011-07-11T15:03:00.002+10:00

youuuuuu! come here quickly already so that i dont waste my time looking at photos or procrastinating when i should be applying for jobs! hahahahha

kids and magic

2011-07-11T14:40:00.001+10:00

via Sarah

BEAUTIFUL

2011-07-08T00:28:00.002+10:00

2011-07-06T13:08:00.002+10:00

hi.

so i have not been blogging for a while. it was for a good reason.

i had been grieving from the inside. for a moment, i thought everything i believed in was wrong, that i couldnt hear from God properly and the lies of the enemies was clouding my head. and everyday, i just live it for that day. things were grey and fighting negative thoughts were such huge challenges. people told me that i'll be ok and i just agreed. i knew i would be but the light at the end of the tunnel seemed so very far away and, the last thing i want, is to let out some of my negative vents on cyberspace (as if we didnt have enough of that already). hence, the lack of blogging. apologise to whoever who still come by. the past month was just pushing myself to go for placements when the only thing i want to do is to curl up in bed and cry. i packed my week with things to do and make sure i spend time with people. i left no time for myself to think and relax. i need to be strong for myself and not get the people around me worried. i just kept telling myself l.i.f.e.g.o.e.s.o.n. and pushed myself. i cried and picked myself up and everyday was just looking forward to the end of the day and hopefully i'll sleep things away. i was operating the numb mode.

God is always in the picture. people told me to pray and worship. i did all of that, but God seemed to push me to the deep side, to not look at my own circumstance and even asked me to serve others. i was still operating the "what-about-me?-i'm-hurting-too" mindset. there wasnt any of the cuddle and comfort that i was expecting, like how i knew he would whenever i'm sad. this time, it was just a lot of tough love and mature teaching. He still loves me, i know. otherwise, i wouldnt have made it to today. i am so thankful for the friends that stood alongside of me. it was them, the little victories and little things in my daily life that i knew God is still real. and no matter how much i want to throw in the white towel, the faintest tinge of hope comes in. and last weekend, my life hit the turning point again.

i was in Planetkids camp.

the Friday morning, i knew that my breakthrough would come. i am believing in the kids' breakthrough and i know in seeing theirs, mine would come. even if it didnt, seeing my kids having a touch from God, would be the victory enough to pull me through.

of course, God being God, always surprises us and going above over and beyond.

i didnt really know what happened, but during worship, God's peace and joy just came and fill from within. i cant quite explained it, an exchange happened.

The sorrow, pain and hurt was replaced with joy and peace.

everything was gone. just like that.

it was swift, it was quick and it was gone. i didnt know how or what exactly happened but something happened. God mended my broken heart and restore the joy of salvation in me. i never knew it could happen instantaneously but it did and i am so grateful. i thought the healing process takes a looooong time, but God did it in a moment.

my pain and hurt was real. but God is real in healing me and mending my broken heart too.

i am ready to be back up on my feet again. (sorry it took a while) but i'm sooo happy to say, I am verrryyy happy now.

and when you see me smiling again, be assured that, the smile on my face is genuine, and i'm not pulling a brave face.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

ps. thank you for all the hugs, emails, texts and calls for the past month.

HIMYM

2011-06-14T01:09:00.003+10:00

Ted's father says he met Virgina at a bar. Ted asks what happened, they used to be so happy. They realized they were different people. His father is a romantic, while his mother is down to earth. Ted doesn't see why that matters, because him and Robin are like that, and also have different views on children. Virgina continues and says that she didn't even want to date him, but finally gave in after he was badgering her for months. Ted's father says that if they don't connect on so many fundamental levels, then its just a matter of time before they realize they don't belong together.

- How I Met Your Mother, Brunch, Season 2 episode 3 -

somehow, for some unknown reason, i stumbled upon this episode exactly the night before it happened. i pushed it aside, but i guess i was placed in a place to think things through and i was prepared unwillingly, when i thought i could just relax.

3 C's to find the will of God

2011-06-08T22:23:00.003+10:00

I was reading Sooker's bible today and this hit me. I have to listen and obey to it myself. Hard for me at times like this and for this to settle in cos some part i can actually picture a once familiar voice saying that, but i know this is good!

Anyway, may it speak to you too.

3 C's to find the will of God.

1) Common sense.

Christianity is a rational faith. God is a logical God. You can use your biblically informed reason to make decisions. Paul used common sense (Acts 15:38)

2) Compulsion

Often God will give inner impressions to follow or not to follow a certain course. This was Paul's experience: "And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem." (Acts 20:22)

God will use such methods to lead you as well.

"Those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God" - Romans 8:14-

Remember, if you feel led, it's probably God. If you're under pressure, it's probably not God.

3) Contentment

Being in God's will should result in an inner peace in your life (Colossians 3:15)

Shopping spreeeee with the bestie

2011-05-26T01:41:00.004+10:00

Today was chadstone VIP. We only found out about it at 7pm tonight.

Jon and I still went anyway. We couldnt resist the Asian side of us, even though we both had nothing we need. I wanted a jacket. He just wanted to get out of studying.

As usual, there's sales and people roaming around. packed. loud music and crowd. you get the picture.

We stopped by Frat House (this random shop that I rarely ever go in) and I ended up buying a sweater). The store was giving some coupon things as well earlier during the day. So, on top of the 30%, if you present with a $5, $10 or $20 voucher that they gave out earlier, you get further reduction. So, yes, paid for mine and continued on.

Jon tried on this blue cashmere top that looked rather good on him. Obviously, cashmere... and it aint the cheapest thing in store. He put it aside. If you know Jon well, when he likes a particular clothing, he thinks about it. a lot.

We left the store and went hunting for my jacket / coat.

When we were at Sportsgirls, Jon came up to me with a big grin on his face and on his hands, he proudly showed me a Frat House $20 discount voucher that appeared out of no where in the completely different store.

Jon: I prayed and asked God if I should buy the top. I said only if I can find a $20 voucher. I was looking very hard in the shop but couldnt find it. and guess what now? Look!

Mun: It's a signnnn! Go get it, Jonny!!

Jon: (dashing towards the exit) I'll call you later.

I love how God is in the big things and also the little things.

I love how God loves us so much that He cares about our daily desires and our desperate needs.

Pretty sure Jon appreciates the top heaps more, knowing that God provided the best deal for him. Bet God reckons Jon looks good in it that's why He allowed him to buy one more top. (You should really check out his wardrobe mann! super banyak baju oh! )

But I love going on shopping with my 2 best friends. They help me with decisions! One is there to physically carry my shopping bags, and the Other is always there with me, keeping me safe and He even provides!

pre-placements!

2011-05-23T12:17:00.002+10:00

i start placements tonight.
1st night shift. i dont even know how on earth am i gonna stay awake through the night?!!!

and

can i be really honest?
i am super nervous.
i felt like i've been so out of the routine of going into the hospital.
i'm so scared that i have a scary fiery preceptor.

but, i'm gathering prayers and believing that it will be ok.
it will be more than ok.
I am called to make a change and to bring light.

Numbers 23:19

God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill?

our immune system

2011-05-16T10:32:00.001+10:00

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!

something my lecturer shared today. our body is so persistent! :)

Honour

2011-05-12T13:56:00.000+10:00

Last night was absolutely amazing. Not because people said nice things about me, but because I have finally experienced it for myself what Ps Russell said about honour.

When you honour somebody, you release the supernatural miracle working power.

Yesterday marks the last day of me being an ULU 13 member. It's an emotional journey, really. I've been there for nearly 5 + years now. I've seen people come and go, and now, it's my turn to leave. Well, one relievin thing was that I'm not going overseas (as yet) or changing church or something relatively long term. I'm just changing to the Burwood Urban Life. I'll still see people at church on Sundays and it's not like it's a farewell thing! (as you would have known, I suck at saying goodbye)

This UL has indeed come a long way and it is definitely my honour to be able to go knowing that I have made a change. At the beginning of the year, I stood back and saw the potential that was in the group. I knew the credit wasnt mine to take and definitely, all glory to God! But it's just so beautiful to see all these amazing people growing and stepping into the greater. We have indeed shared some amazing journey. And that's the beauty of family I guess, you don t need to see each other heaps and you don't need to constantly hang out. Yet, you know that they are never too far away.

Well, family being family, I couldn't help but to laugh at the things they described or told me yday
"Munyee is like the energizer bunny, she never runs flat"

"She goes to Chadstone VIP to shop for others, she needs to be commended for that" - in all seriousness, I was just trying to buy the best present at the best price. Not so commendable as you guys think la!

"She is like the social butterfly, if ppl ask you which urban life you go to and they give you a confused look after you said jon Ngan, just say Munyee and they will all go 'oohhhh'! Hahhahha"

And of course, there are a lot more of honoring words that came out of my Urbies and I know it is supernaturally changing me from the inside. You know some words, you hear and it comes out the other ear, these weren't one of those. Not because they were flattering but because, God clicked something in me. I didn't go all mushy and airy fairy as I usually would when ppl compliment me.
This time, it felt different. I myself was encouraged! (I reckon this was the time when myself in the past has encouraged myself now in the present). I never knew that little post-its notes go such a long way and random acts of kindness that I totally don't remember make such huge differences. A lot of times, I thought to myself, those mere thoughts were just good ideas and nice things to do. I love doing them anyway but now, to really hear that those weren't labour in vain and they were seeds planted to brighten someone's day, totally made it worthwhile. I'll do them all over again.

Of course, it's not all about me having done this and leaving such a legacy behind, but honoring and being the one that ppl honored last night taught me something. The mundane things that you do all the time, the things that you once caved into thinking that it's nothing and it doesn't matter to anyone, God sees them and God uses the littlest of all. Just as long as you put them under His feet.

I love what Pearly said, "you have been such a blessing to many of us here. Perhaps it is time for you to bless other ppl in the other group. We have all received so much from you, it is time for you to bless others."
Wow.
What a powerful releasing statement with a commission! I was just gonna go to the other group. But she has empowered me to bring the change and the gifts I can offer into the group.

ULU 13, thank you for the amazing journey we shared. This is definitely not farewell, so make sure you do keep me posted with whatever that is happening!

And Burwood UL, HELLO! :)

Numbers 18:29
Be sure to give to the Lord the best portions of the gifts given to you.

Graduate Nurse Program

2011-05-10T18:27:00.003+10:00

it's International Nurses Day tmr, and hence, there's lots of things happening in uni and outside of uni revolving the nursing career.

And, it's also the time of the year where hospitals are recruiting and now, my turn to apply for a position as a graduate nurse has finally arrived! I am SOOOOOO nervous!!

Here are some links of the hospitals and programs that interests me. Who knows, next year, you may find me working there! Have a click and tell me what you reckon? (you dont have to, but it'll be nice and i will greatly appreciate some feedback?)

Southern Health

Austin Health

Alfred Health

Royal Melbourne Hospital

?

2011-05-09T15:44:00.002+10:00

just came out of the nursing grad info session.
so many hospitals. so many hospitals, so many options!!!

I have decided to give paramedics a break for next year. wont be applying for that based on the many conspiracy and the fact that we have to work in a rural setting to start off with. so, i'm sticking to nursing.
(and i love nursing anyway)

but the question now is - where and what?!!!

I'm in love with reading Numbers

2011-05-07T16:42:00.002+10:00

did you know?

in numbers, after Miriam and Aaron backstabbed Moses, Miriam had leprosy. She prolly looked super unglam and ugly, judging by the way that Aaron, her husband pleaded Moses to interceed on their behalf.

I wonder why Aaron, who was the man, didnt get punished by God for being part of the gossipping?

But, I was more blown away by the fact that, the whole Israelite camp had to stop stationary in one place for 7 days, while waiting for Miriam to be healed.

It blew my mind, knowing that even after you've made mistakes, God waits for you to come clean and come back to the camp, before He allows everyone else to move ahead.

He never leaves one behind.

Forgiveness

2011-05-05T15:14:00.002+10:00

btw, I LOVE JELLY TELLY!!!!!!!

BUT ..

2011-05-03T08:49:00.004+10:00

sorry for not blogging for the past week, as promised. I think it took a lot more commitment than I first thought to write everyday. Hats off to those who does.

I was away for easter. Went home to the beautiful land of Malaysia to celebrate my Grandmama's bday. I will stick some photos up soon. Sookers took some really nice ones. Well, she better! She full on hog the phone charger and left my phone battery went flat through the night.
It was an utter short trip. Dash in and wheeze out. Super quick. but it was still lovely nonetheless. I never knew I had so many relatives and I guess family time is always good times :)

Anyway, I have been thinking about this word - BUT..
I think "but" is a powerful word in itself. I wont dictionary define it, pretty sure you know what it means and how it's used. That word changes your direction of speech and somehow presents a twist to what the listener / reader percieves.

There can be so many heartsinking moments coming out this word-
I think you're great , but ....
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it, but ..

BUT ..
I think we can have a choice in the way we wanna percieve things and send the message across. I saw some tweet this the other day.

The painful thing you can hear is 'I love you, but ... '
The most beautiful thing you can hear is ' ... but I love you'

I know it's probably not the easiest to do the beautiful thing. And to be honest, in the world we live in now, I reckon we hear the first one more than the latter.
I wanna be able to look someone in the eye and be genuinely interested in them.
I wanna look past all the faults and weaknesses in people and see the beauty that God has placed in each and every single one of us (myself included).

I think, it is important to take ourselves back to this verse again and really, see how powerful the word "BUT" is.

John 3:16
¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Numbers

2011-04-21T08:20:00.005+10:00

I've been reading the chapter Numbers in the bible. Yes, there are lots of numbers and the things that were written were exact to the dot, for example, when a census was taken, they actually write down how many people they counted.

I was really fascinated at how the different clans have a different job scope. The Levites were to enter into the tent and the Kohathites were only to carry the holy things and not look at them at all. This other clan were to carry the curtains and this other one were to carry the tents and the gears.

To each, there was a specific job description.

Numbers 4:49a
At the Lord's commandment through Moses, each was assigned his work and told what to carry.

I just watched Never Let Me Go

It is a beautiful but sad movie. (spoiler alert) People were created just for the sake of organ donation. They were created to die. There were no other means of escape, no deferrals, no excuses and no time to experience true love. Their sole purpose was to extend the life of this other person whom they have never met. They "complete" when there has been so many organs that are taken out that they practically cant survive anymore.

As graduation is approaching, uni has been organising lots of careers related talks with us, and in guiding us on making our choices for next year. I am truly one step closer to working in the healthcare world. But the big question is, where to go and what's next?

It's scary, not just because we are next in line to step out of uni and into the working world.
It's scary, cos it is time to carry the load of the society.
It's scary because I am going to be walking in my destiny.

Vision

2011-04-19T08:16:00.003+10:00

without vision, men perish.

It's strange how i get a word for the day and as i ponder upon it, it unveil more things but along with it, come more question marks floating on my head. hmmm?

in Planetshakers conference, ps Jentezen spoke about the importance of visions and dreams. he shared of this beautiful story of having a purpose drives you to live a life.

There was this 16 year old girl. She's had enough of life. Depressed and hopeless, she decided that this is it. She headed off to a bridge and decided to jump off the bridge and put an end to her life.
She headed up, took a big dive and farewelled the world.
Not knowing to her, there was this man, fishing by the bridge, not too far away from her. He witnessed all of that and when she jumped, he instinctively dived in to save her too!
It was a gut driven response and he didnt give much to it. He swam a little bit towards her, in the attempt of saving her. Yet, soon enough, it occured to him that, HE DIDNT KNOW HOW TO SWIM and he started drowning.
He paddled and called for help. Funny thing was, the girl who wanted to commit suicide, actually knew how to swim. (I can so imagine her face at this stage, hahhaa)
The story ended with her saving his life instead of she committing suicide. The papers came up with the headline - Saved by a Purpose.

So, i guess, the question to myself is, what do i see that drives me in achieving that purpose?
what about you?

Specific

2011-04-11T08:24:00.001+10:00

Let's be specific.

Chinese song?

2011-04-09T17:12:00.002+10:00

Yes, I am still very chinese deep down inside.

This is for my chinese / canto speaking friends and family :)

The words are beautiful. It's prolly your loss if you couldnt understand.

As Easter comes closer, I am constantly reminded of the love that God has for us , for me!

1 John 3:16

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

Welcome to Holland

2011-04-08T19:21:00.003+10:00

this video was showed in one of my lectures. so truly inspiring (you may need to turn the volume up to hear the words)

2011-04-07T10:33:00.001+10:00

It's such a great blessing waking up and knowing that you are loved.

coincidence?

2011-04-06T14:11:00.002+10:00

2 Tim 1:6 For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying of my hands. SURELY, it isn't a coincidence that this verse came to me, and we are talking bout gifts in discipleship tonight and Planetkids on Sunday. 3 hit in one go! I am SOOOOO excited about what God is going to do tonight and the next coming week! Stay tuned for more testimonies. I have one pretty amazing one already. Sarah sprained her ankle on Sunday. Read more here. and after being prayed for by Elijah Newton (8 years old), today, she is pain free, walking and jumping, not to mention a big smile on her face! If you think i'm always just talks about this God who is all just airy-fairy and not relevant, think again.

a verse a day

2011-04-05T08:11:00.004+10:00

I think from today onwards, I want to commit to posting up a verse a day (or an interesting quote or smtg inspiring). We, as children leaders encourage the kids to memorise a verse a week. So, I think, it should start with us setting the example.

And this can be quite challenging for me. I am not very good with remembering things or memorising things. But may this be the start to growing deeper in the word of God and may it encourage you! (it also helps to keep my blog alive! hehehe)

1 Tim 6 : 11 b
Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.

little treasures

2011-04-04T12:53:00.002+10:00

Sitting in the library and having random conversations with God this lunch reminded me how the beauty of random surprises and the joy of discovering treasures along your way.

Back in high school, in the boarding house, we used to drop each other lil post-its on doors, desks and even on snacks and dinner plates. It could be a reminder to collect your laundry, homework due the next day, you had a phonecall when you had sports in the arvo or sweet notes from someone saying that you're in their thoughts.

I was very inspired after reading this by Color me Katie. It's seemed like a whole deal of fun :) and it's not hard to make someone's day.

So, look around, maybe there's a little note for you, somewhere :)

Look, if nothing else, it's always great when someone tells you they love you - Ross Geller, Friends-

This is my God

2011-03-30T08:54:00.001+11:00

^{Psalm 103

1} Praise the LORD, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

⁶ The LORD works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
¹⁵ The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting
the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

¹⁹ The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

²⁰ Praise the LORD, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
²¹ Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
²² Praise the LORD, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, my soul.

Complacent vs Contented

2011-03-28T12:41:00.005+11:00

Planetshakers conference is coming up in 15 days!! (if you have yet to register, go to the website and do it!!!! IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE)

I have always learnt to set expectation and to believe for BIG and greater things. God is faithful and He will always come through. I have personal encounters and experiences of my own. A lot of my life changing moments come from me taking a small step of faith and God invading my natural senses. Positioning yourself in the environment to receive is the first step, so sign up!

So, yesterday, jon and i were talking about conference and what do we expect. I was very honest and I admitted that I dont know what to expect. I refused to admit that I was indecisive hence not knowing what I want. In my own words, I said, "I was afraid that I'm being too complacent and not asking God for more." but in actual fact, I want more. I just dont know what "more" can i ask from God.
Jon said I wasnt being complacent, I was being contented.
That, somehow, struck a chord in me.

Life has been slowly climbing back upwards again. I have been blessed tremendously and abundantly beyond my expectations. Life is cruising and it is good. I can say, I have all the materialistic things that I need and I am very comfortable this stage.
But spiritually, I know I can never have enough, but the question is, what can i never have enough of?

Yes, I understand that we can never have enough of God and we should press in for more of Him. but i think, I have fallen into the trap of chasing after the gifts and the outworks of His Spirit instead of the One who gives. I know how God wants to use me and God gives me these gifts to serve Him and the people around Him. But you know, if you're not close enough or sensitive enough to Him, these gifts are of no use. Who can you encourage, and what do you say even if you wanna encourage them? These little things seemed so hard when you're striving on your own strength and just wanting to work it by your own ability.
There's no power behind it.
God is not in it.

Yes, a lot of times, I believe. I believe when we pray for healing.
I believe when we ask God for breakthrough.
Dangerously, I think I have fallen into the trap that it's about me- I believe, I pray, I stepped out. I've tried and why has it not happened? and why isnt the people around me saved yet!

Holy Spirit reminded me gently today,
"Mun Yee, it's not about you and your own strength. It's ME, working through you."

and so, today, I've learnt to put things back into perspective again. It's

GOD, I believe.
GOD, I know you will come through.
GOD, work in me.

James 5: 11
As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Thank God for creative people!

2011-03-24T11:37:00.002+11:00

Sarah helped me re-do this layout :) yay!!! It's nice yes?

Yay to friends who are creative. They come up with such beautiful things that keep me entertained all the time. And by creative, it doesnt have to mean that they design pretty things or take amazing photos. I think words can be very powerful and takes you to places that visual can only do so much?

Check them out and be wow-ed :)

Jon
Dave (and Li)
Ant
Sarah
Rachel
Iris (she doesnt know I read her blog :p ) and chek out her love for bikes here too

PCR calls

2011-03-24T09:04:00.002+11:00

This week, I made a couple of phonecalls to the kids in my podgroup. Being back in Planetkids gave me the biggest honour to connect with the little champions of this generation.

The other day, I was on the phone with Emily and was trying to get to know her better.

Mun : So, what do you like to do? (thinking that it would be either sports or craft)
Em : I like to swim (she just won a couple of swimming competition that day)
Em : and I looooveee to pray

wow! how beautiful is that?!

After that, I called another girl, from the total opposite side of town, Tabitha.

Mun : How's your day, Tabitha?
Tabi: Good, thanks! We won the baseball game today! (she sounded real happy and pleased)
Mun : Great work!! Do you like playing baseball?
Tabi : Yes I do. But I like praying and reading the bible more!

OH MY GOODNESS. what amazing kids i have! They are such legends. God has truly placed something so precious to Him into my care and I am sooo excited for this year. I know that it is gonna get better and better!

Little things I thank God for

2011-03-24T08:34:00.003+11:00

This week thus far, has been super amazingly good for me!

My dad flew over from K.L. and brought us the good news that he is definitely buying us a car! (yay!!!) It hit me the other day that, it is such a big blessing that I am actually given a car. I always wanted a car, I think ever since I could drive. But then, financially, I could only afford an older, probably unsafe car based on my own ability. There has been lots of petition to both my biological father and my Father in heaven for a car. And, the process took REAAALLLY long, but i know it is coming! and the fact that I am given one, reminds me that I am well looked after and I should never take these things as though I deserve it. I am truly very grateful.

This week, I was taken out to amazing dinners too!
from Hu Tong dumplings and Tao's beautifully plated set dinner to Queensberry salmon, oh my. I think I ate too much for my own good. my tummy was surely very happy.

and yesterday night, Sookers told me that I have a surprise at home. It was a bouquet of flowers delivered to my door. Attached was a note from Hhams that made me felt evermore so loved.

I've had the best surprise under fairy lights too. The night was just too beautiful and my iPhone wouldnt do it any justice.

God has been so good to me. As I think of his goodness, I am marveled and feel so precious. <3

Psalm 103:7

I will tell of the kindnesses of the LORD,
the deeds for which he is to be praised,
according to all the LORD has done for us—
yes, the many good things
he has done for Israel,
according to his compassion and many kindnesses.

the NEW has come

2011-03-09T08:06:00.002+11:00

It may sound a little slow and late, but going back into Uni again sorta gives me this feeling as though the year has just begun. We all know that it is now March! (OHMYGOODNESS!)

Indeed, the new has come.

We are no longer living in 1 Prince St. I am now an official Glennie!
Living at home with my sisters only, without our parents does indeed feel weird. I have now resume a lot more responsibilities - from getting us connected to the internet to making sure that there's groceries in the pantry and getting everyone fed, they are not on my official lists but obviously, I do need to think about them. I even have to sign my sister's excursion forms and permission slips! Yikes! Hello to growing up hey?

This semester, even though I only have 2 official days.Yet, with work, I have to leave home at 6.40am and coming home only at about 5 or 7. If I'm lucky, 3pm. Traveling to and from Uni is quite a killer but oh wells. I guess I can still cope with quite bit of that. I just dont like the fact that by the time I get home, it's late and I am only left with 3 hours to spent with people / family before my body gives away. I am slowly adapting to this new change, I hope.

Still, I am really excited (and nervous).
Final year has presented its scary part - job search and interview. Along with it, I am placed to think about the future.
Where do I see myself? Where and what has God called me to do? How am I going to support myself? and who will be in the picture?

Psalm 139:16
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

What do you see in the mirror?

2011-03-05T01:12:00.002+11:00

Coming back to melbourne wasnt as easy as I thought. Yes, I was looking forward to coming back to my comfort zone and my home but i didnt know resettling in was a bit of some hiccup. the new house was packed with boxes, i have 4 days of waking up at 6 to go for my 9am classes, being in a new suburb means friends arent as close as they used to be, housemates are all now my sisters, etc. indeed, some adjustments were required. And to be honest, spiritually, i needed to pick myself up again. I wasnt at the place where I know i needed to be but i reckon, the best bday gift is to know, and to be surrounded by people who can help you back in this race.

I have forgotten how much I am loved.

Today, i stood in front of the mirror, drying my hair and this question came upon me - what do you see in the mirror?

I used to not care so much about the physical appearance, or how i present myself. I am a strong believer of this saying - beauty lies within. Yet, seeing the people around me are gradually metamorphosing into someone super hot that even I cant help to not take my eyes off, the way i see myself was affected. I started to see the flaws and what i did not have. I tried to see what others see in me and find it hard to believe that there is actually beauty in me. It was easy to feed on your self pity and insecurity when you're not holding on to the picture that God draws of you.

Ai ling sent me these 2 videos from Veggietales. Super cute but super appropriate for all ages!

so, what do you see in the mirror?

may you hold close to the picture of what God draw of you, rather than carrying painting that were meant to be in your bag pack.

tell yourself, "you are fearfully and wonderfully made" and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

so, as I stepped back and looked at the mirror again, I see a mighty woman of God, a future of divine possibilities, and rivers of living water. Above all, I see the hand that is on my shoulder, cheering me on and patting me with love.

2011-02-14T01:23:00.001+11:00

If only i could let my tears, emotions, love and passion run wild again.

Searching and Finding

2011-02-12T12:45:00.004+11:00

I just came home from my 7am breakfast catch up with my best friend.

On the way back, i couldnt stop but to ponder on the thought that A LOT of the people on earth are searching.
Yes, WE, are all searching for something.

I just realised that there's this Stats function in your blog page that tells you about the traffic flow of my blog (Yes, i'm a bit slow, just a tad bit, ok?) I havent been blogging much and I was quite shocked at the fact that people still come and check this page out. I dont think it would be worth people's time and yet, i was surpised at what I saw.

It wasnt the fact that my friends still pop by that shock me. It was the fact that people came through google.
Some while back, i think i posted a song about God's amazing grace- "I'm so not worthy but still you love me" and that was one of the hit that google led people here. Yup, thanks google.

It reminded me that people are searching for love. There's a void in all of us. We are always searching for something, dont you reckon? Yesterday's movie with the lims paints a good illustration. Faster, by the Rock. He was looking for revenge, the other guy was searching for adventure and thrill; the cop was searching for truth, the other was looking for a new life. See, everyone was searching for some form of answer that we have in our head. Or to answer a need, or perhaps, someone to love and someone who loves you back.

Not to sound arrogant, i think i've been very blessed and a lot of the times, i always get what i want, or sometimes, even more than what i expected. that's not because of how wealthy my parents are, or how spoilt i am, it's because of the greatness of my Jesus. Su Ann pointed out yesterday, I seemed to have things falling into my lap when i need them. I am indeed so blessed, and I dont wanna take it for granted or sound like a brat. but indeed, I have a heavenly Father who loves me and listens to my needs. House near the school zone, furnitures, rides to places, financial provision and most importantly, a group of people who i love and love me.

Technically, i have it all, but yet, being human, I am still searching for MORE. There's always a desire for something better, materialistically, emotionally and spiritually. Hence, the void is filled and very quickly empty again.
I guess, that's when the lies of the enemy come in. Are you really satisfied? Do you really think that's good enough? You deserve better.. blah blah blah. and you make an unfair trade.
you (i'm speaking to myself too) entertain negative thoughts and think things unworthy of your time. Then you worry and lost your joy. From there onwards, it's a downwards spiral unless you realise and actively puts a stop to it.

I guess, we all have to realise that it's ok to search for something better (there's when improvement comes in?) but i think there's a difference with searching aimlessly like a headless chook and finding for something. When you look for something, do you have the hope that you will find? Or are you just looking, because you know if you didnt try, you wont be at ease but you're not searching whole heartedly? I wonder how God searches our heart? I wonder what is was like when the shepherd went and look for the 1 lost sheep and leaving the herd of 99? I'm wondering what the person on the other side felt when he/she was feeling when he/she google - "i'm so unworthy"?

You know, when you type in something in google, and hit the search button, you expect results to answer your search, right?

I pray that you find what you're looking for. I pray that you find and see God's goodness in the process of looking for the things your heart yearns for.

Matt 7:7
Seek and you will find.

2011-02-11T03:13:00.004+11:00

ok. i hope u dont read this and think that i'm emo. well, after all, its the time of the month for me, and i'm more in touch with my feminine side. but hey! i think i've raised a few good points, read and comment?

i think life is very interesting. i sometimes wonder if we could just erase everything and start afresh on a new canvas.
you know, like how we used to have drawing pad, and when you've started on something and realised that that's not what you imagine, then you tear it away and start again.

i dont think you could ever do that with life.
it would be very painful to tear something off and start anew.

i always think people who are suffering from Alzheimers are one of the saddest group of people. Well, if not they themselves, it would be the people around them, or the people that love them.
I think we all have the desire to love, and be loved back. That's how and why God created us, i think?

Jo, Elwin and I had a good catch up session at The Bee today.

i'm very scared to admit this, I dont think I know how to love anymore.
Jo pointed out in the bible,
1 John 3:14
Anyone who does not love remains in death.

I think part of me is slowly dying within. I think this holiday has showed me how much i've fallen short of God's glory and how much i needed God's grace. I see people and i try to do the right thing. but I think i've become very much task driven and not people driven. Over these few weeks, I've been running around, from places to places, running errands and seeing people. A lot of the time, i am trying to please people.
Please my parents
please my grandma
please my friends
please my relatives
basically, i'm trying so hard to please everyone and i felt like i'm so tired and soo drained. i've relied on my own strength too much and i'm suffocating myself.
and the BIG question that hit me was, have i please God? Is Jesus pleased with me?

I think there's a difference with doing or saying the right thing at the right time, say something because you know it's the right thing to say (out of obligation) and doing something wholeheartedly. It's the same about giving, and the same principle applies to loving. I heard that, you can give without loving but you cant love without giving. Perhaps I havent given for a while. I'm been complaining and being quite negative, and i have to constantly tell myself off and talk to myself. otherwise, i think i'll become someone i totally dislike. being away from God kinda suck. knowing that you're not that much on fire anymore, i reckon is worse than not having Jesus in your life. I guess that's why God hates lukewarm.
sad to admit, i've been living a mediocre, lukewarm life this holiday. (it only hit me yesterday) and i really really hate it. people say hate is a big word. i think i've used it well this time, it really describes how i feel.

Elwin is not a person of big talks. He believes more in action. Jo pointed out again that action means more than words (as cliche as it sounds), it is stated in the bible. ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS. I've always said a lot of things but i havent done alot. I always said i wanna change someone's life. have i?
If I were to read what i've written in the past, i'm pretty sure i've said i wanna love people more, i wanna serve, i wanna make an impact, i wanna do something for God. Have I taken any action - is the big question.

My aunty nonchalantly commented that my generation is not as 'durable' as theirs anymore, we get tired easily and we give up relatively fast. when she first said it, i was strongly against it. but now, i think there's some truth in it. we dont fight for what we believe in anymore, not to say, the people we love. it's sad, but give up seems to be the subtle and understandable easy way out for the problems that arise. just sweep it under the carpet. look at our environmental issues, the corruption in our country? what about the fear of rejection or the insecurity? lack of attention?

i guess, ultimately, the question is - are we willing to lay down our lives and pick up the cross?

2011-01-30T13:04:00.002+11:00

we can do big things. as big as our heart takes us.
we can begin with small little things, as much as our capabilities push us.

but we SHOULD all do something.

I need more

2010-12-31T00:47:00.002+11:00

When I thought that i've had enough, there's always more.
When I thought that I can do it on my own, i was wrong.

I need more.
There's just this void, this yearning, this desire within me that I cant shake off.
I've tried running away,
i've tried shaking it off.

I. SIMPLY. CAN'T.
I just need more. so much more.

So God, fill me, Lord.
Fill me Lord,
I need more.
I need more of You.

I HAVE MOVED, AGAIN!!

2010-12-21T13:05:00.003+11:00

yes. i have moved house again. for the 4th time in 4 years! but all went well :) thank God. and Joanne reminded me of the amazing favour that i've been experiencing throughout this summer!

when i needed a car to go to placements down in Geelong, Dan made arrangements and i had my transport organised.

when i needed a place in the GW school zone to live in, aunty jane called up and told me that they are vacating to a new place.

when i needed furnitures for my new place, both DVD and jon offered theirs.

when i needed company, you came.

when i was too chicken to step out and pray for healing, Jesus moved and touched the Joanne! she was partially healed from her blocked nose. now i'm stepping in and believing for total healing!

when i needed a lot of hands to move house, lots of muscles came, and chenny even brought me a trolley!

just when i thought i couldnt be grateful enough for the little things, Ps Paul preached on THANK YOU! what more appropriate for this season.
God, thank You! I cant wait to celebrate Your birthday!

i'm still alive!

2010-12-17T16:36:00.002+11:00

Hi. I am still around. havent been writing for a while and i do apologise for that. internet was capped and just been busy with what has been happening.

i cant believe christmas is only a week away. the memories of last christmas still lives vividly in my head. it would mark one year of my grandma's death. i guess i would always a bit confused when it comes to that day, whether to mourn and to celebrate. of course it's a festive season and i sure do love christmas! but i guess i cant help but to miss her.

and recently, i realised that i dont let things go easily. i hoard (considering how many boxes of stuff i have now) and i hold on to things of the past that probably aint doing me any good. i dont really know why either. i wish i could be brutal and just throw things out of the window just like that. you know, like you go through a scanner, beep yes-stay, beep no- throw. i guess it just doesnt work that way for me. the sentimental side rides over me. or perhaps i hold on tightly hoping that perhaps things would go back to the good ol' times. i dont know. i should perhaps stop saying i dont know and start figuring things out too hey? oh yes. i am moving house again! :S

but anyway, on a brighter note, i've just come back from geelong after going on 6 days of 10/12 hrs rural paramedic placements and waking up at 5.15am. mmmm. i am still not very sure if i wanna be a paramedic, considering that there's minimal patient contact and blatantly, it's a scoop and go job. i dont know if i wanna do that. but nonetheless, it was great experience though. geelong is not bad of a town to live in! (i'm prolly like the 1 asian you see behind the ambo) but ppl are sure lovely and the beach and scenery is beautiful. after a long day of work, you can stand back and take a deep breath. all is good.

God has been truly watching over me throughout. i've been experiencing such favour!

- blankets out of nowhere in a freezing cold night at geelong

- pardoned for not having concession card

- found and returned $100

i cant believe i have to go on placements next on christmas eve, day and boxing day! but it will be good. spread some love and good hope! xx

Change is good?

2010-11-18T01:32:00.003+11:00

At discipleship today, they made the announcement to the church leaders about the transition that Planetkids would be going through. I do admit that i suck at dealing with transitions. BIG TIME. or maybe not transitions, but just perhaps farewells and changes? I dont know. but it is indeed exciting times.

I had this clear picture of Geoff, the oldest leader in the team, standing behind Paul and Esther, saying that age doesnt dictate your spiritual maturity. They have what it takes. And i believe so too! I know they will be great!
I love the fact that we are family and family stick by each other through whatever!

WE ARE ORANGE!

2010-11-07T17:49:00.002+11:00

"Friendships and relationships are such blessings from God"

Who? Joanne (Li Yin) and I.
Where? Dvd's car
What? Driving down Williams Rd to return keys to Steven

Street light. Worship music. Eyes fixed on the road as I was driving. Yet, such profound statement could not leave my head.

Indeed, they are blessings from God.

Trying and learning

2010-11-04T22:46:00.003+11:00

It is through falling that we learn to pick ourselves up again.

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for today. Even if I fall, I know you are still so good and so worthy of my praise. In darkness, in trials, my soul shall sing. Indeed, Father, facing failures isn't always the easiest. Perhaps God, you are teaching me to really depend on you and totally rely on your strength alone, not be proud and overconfident; for it is only through you that all things have their beings. Lord, i am trying and i am learning to come back to my feet again?! Hold me in your arms tonight as i sleep.
Wake me up and face the world with me.
Lord, thank youfor giving me more than i can imagine! God, you are amazing!

Your princess,
Munyee

legit reason to procratinate

2010-10-29T22:28:00.002+11:00

yes. I should be studying. My next paper is on Monday but I am soooo tired from today's prac exam! PRAISE GOD that I passed and I even gathered the courage to pray with my partner! :) YAY! :) (thank you God for making it happen!)

Anyway, I have been playing these few songs during my study sesh.

Fireworks - Katy Perry

Count on Me - Bruno Mars

Arithmetics - Brooke Fraser

Seasons of Love - Rent

First Love - Paradise

GLEE!

(sorry for the lousy tech skills, otherwise if i know how to, i would let you click to it, so for now, if you're interested, just go youtube it yourself ;p )

I've also discovered some pretty amazing artists in my mega unfamiliar itunes playlist like, Corrine May, Jacks Mannequin and to my surprise, i have a bollywood song in it!

ok Munyee, get back to studying missy!

YOU make me smile!

2010-10-29T21:37:00.005+11:00

Life. is. so. beautiful.

I was doing dishes the other day. Jon, Ash and Sooks were sitting at the dining table, watching some youtube of possibly some Chinese artist and digging into the tub of strawberry icecream that never seems to reach the end.

I stepped back, took myself out of the picture.

And I realised.. if only the moment could freeze for a tad bit longer, before we bury our heads behind books again... ahhh.

It was like the tub of icecream. We can literally freeze the moments, because before we know it, it will start to melt. So, eat it while it's still cold!! Hence, in that few seconds, I thanked God for amazing people He surrounds me with.

On the combine service weekend, we went out to this super yummy, death by grease, awesome, uber bright pink American diners . Well, we took a massive detour whilst deciding but hey, I'm not complaining. Joyriding, indeed! Fully loving the new car - Dave and Li. YAY! now you can come pick me up and send me home! woot!! But, anyway, I am sooo excited that it is actually only less than one month away before Dave bids the tv in his room goodbye and welcomes his beautiful wife. I am so excited!!!! I am sooo excited (and it's not even my wedding! hahha)

That day, as I sat opposite them, and as I gaze across, this warm sense of fuzziness that is sweeter than the milkshakes that we ordered came upon me. I dont know why or how to describe it either. Perhaps its just the simple things in life, in sharing meals, going on car rides and gazing across the table. Or maybe it's just the discovery that they sell Gobbler

s (is that how you spell it? the peanutbutter and jelly in a tub jam spread thingy) or just the fact that you know- friendship doesnt change despite the chugging along of life.

I love this couple to bits! 29 days to go!! WOOT~

I've got sooo much more to write and so many more little things that make me smile to share. God has been so good to me!

Sunshine.

Car rides.

Sweet surprises in the mail.

Skype and immediate email responses to make sure that I'm coping ok.

Lunch breaks and outside day (and me ended up being a grass head!).

Early mornings and good nights.

YOU MAKE ME SMILE :)

Eph 2

2010-10-22T08:22:00.002+11:00

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.

And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was reading eph 2 this morning and was just so amazed by the fact that

WE HAVE ...
and WE ARE ...

It is so easy in this materialistically driven world to say what we do not have or what we are lack of but in reality, we do have more than what is sufficient.
It is so easy to see who we are not, and wanting to be who we are not called to be. You strive and all the things just wont come your way but instead, negativity, anger, frustration, worry comes tumbling over. If we do realise that WE ARE a child of the most high God, His amazing workmanship, and the fact that we are not worthless.. Imagine the change of atmosphere!

My favourite verse for today is this. May we learn to walk in it.

"For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit" - Eph 2:18 -

MUN YEE SHALL BE DISCIPLINED!

2010-10-18T08:44:00.003+11:00

YES! with approx 2 weeks, i am doing my papers, i should perhaps be more discipline and really hit the home run with this yes?

I am already counting down to nov 5th!
and that's when my family arrives too!!!! :) :) I told mum yesterday that I'd like her to meet my friends.

Mum : yeaaa, of course of course

Me: then you can meet all these people that I've been trying to tell you about.

Mum: and your B-O-Y (she so cute, she literally spelt it out)

Me: WHAT? B-O-Y? :S

Mum: We will have a proper talk when I get over.

Me thinking to myself: Should I be worried?

Mothers are soooo good at knowing how their daughters are going. Even when you dont talk to them for ages, they just have this amazing mother intuition hey?

So, if you'd like to meet my family, come line up now and book in your timeslot for interview!! (i'm only kidding!)

but yes! less 20 days till i finish my accademic year!

(ok. i lied. i've got placements at summer!! POOHBUM!!)

I cried because ..

2010-10-14T08:16:00.002+11:00

Last night, I cried and it kinda felt good after that. It has been a while where I cried myself to sleep but it's a good point of release of what is inside. Dont worry, I am totally fine now. It just needs to come out.

Well, last night, I cried because..

David, our Brit urbie, will be returning to London in 10 days. It hurts saying goodbye and I totally suck at farewell. I think i could possibly be the only person that balled my eyes out yday during urbs. Such a softy. But that's also because our lives had crossed and seeing him around has been a routine. I guess, I'm not ready for the missing british accent, or the little chuckle around the corner when I thought no one saw the silly thing i embarrassed myself with.
but above all, what he said during his speech was what moved me the most and being the second reason I cried last night.

He said I told him that he was in Melbourne for a reason. (honestly, when he pointed at me, I totally could not remember what had i said to him at camp!) I was like shucks, it better be something of God and something good. And, phew! true enough, it was ok. But it hit me,

God can and wants to use me.

For the reasons that I have entertained and thought that I was not moving in the Spirit, they are all LIES! This week in itself, I have been sooo stirred by Beat, Ngan and a few others to just really know that I can run the race well. God is still Sovereign and ultimately, it is really not about me. A lot of times, when I pray for people, things just come to me and I speak it out, not sure if it actually made sense, but last night, God reminded me that they do! and it was Him speaking, of course it made sense. OHHH! I just want so much more of that.

I wanna walk in the supernatural. I wanna see the outpouring of heaven. I wanna see Jesus.

Lisa Bevere, tweeted this yeseterday. So profound. Ponder upon that!
" Disturb us Lord when we are too well pleased w/ourselves, when our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. Francis Drake"

And, well, the one more reason that I cried last night, was just the fact that I am so blessed with amazing people around me. I am surrounded by people who love me and people who look out for me. They stand in the gap for me and they believe in me. They call me PRINCESS, like how God would call me, remind me the position I have in Christ, follow me on twitter and read my blogs just to find out how am I doing. Longs for Sunday just so that they could see me. They tell me the things that are harsh and straight to my face just so that I dont get hurt in the future. Share my and their joys and misadventures... And so much more! This in itself overwhelmed me and throw me off my game I dont even know how to respond to it but to say thank you and thank You! Little things do go a LOONNNNGGG way in Munyee's cupcake world.

Ngan shared a message of a cracker yesterday.
Expect.
Be hungry.
Passion.

it feels like God is just stirring so much more in me.
it feels like
I am filled to be emptied again
The seed I recieved I will sow.

Hide - Joy Williams

2010-10-07T08:09:00.001+11:00

You dont have to hide.
You dont have to hide anymore.
You dont have to face this alone.

Come out and join the rest of us,
you've been alone for too long.

Amazing Grace

2010-10-06T08:33:00.000+11:00

saw this on Dant's blog. AMAZING!

i love how technology works. makes home so much closer to the heart :)

totally looking forward to the day when we start singing worship at home together as a family. i know it is near!

Friends like you, are for FOREVER!

2010-10-05T00:20:00.004+11:00

i just had the best time talking to my best friends on skype. it felt soooo good to be talking like there's no tomorrow with the three of them!

we cant help but talk about the future and the exciting things that God has planned for us. And the beauty of it is, we never fail to include each other, like it is without a doubt that our friendship will never change. i love it!

Even when the world crumbles down on me or when i'm faced with bees, i know God has sent me you, to always have shoulders to cry on, to hug me and to tell me that things will be ok again. Thank goodness for whats app, skype and all the goodness that technologies has offered, you are not so far away.

Counting down to the day we finally see each other! xx

the heart has a memory!

2010-09-22T08:27:00.004+10:00

Did you know that the heart has a memory? It amazes me!! Especially after having a whole unit dedicated to cardio clinical practice!

Hence the bible says this

Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

I just said goodbye, again, to my best friend @jimmylaw (dont you just get used to putting an @ in front of the names now that we're so consumed in the twitter and fb world?! hahaha). This time it is slightly different, cos i know that I wont have him around to listen and put up with my rubbish, or for me to listen to him update and be concerned bout his girl or just the random do nothing moments. hahaha.
Somehow, this time, it felt like, we are REALLY saying goodbye. and see you again feels so far away. I'm not emo or anything. but it just hit me, i think.

hmmm.....

anyway, as I was saying, the heart has a memory! amazing! It remembers to beat (in nerdy term, it's called automaticity). It has a memory bank on its own and if well preserved, under the right environment, without the brain, it will still beat. God created it so special, because, it is precious to Him (and now I've got so much to study about it cos of it's complexity :S hahaha)

So, it is kinda true when people said that there's a place for you in my heart. Cos there really is. Come into the world of Mun Yee's imagination.
In your heart, there's like a billion cells, and they each have memory right? So, for a place for you in my heart would mean, that one cell would have your name on it!! aiks! i dont think I'm doing it justice. so wish i have my lappie with me now, would just draw and put a photo up for u. haha. oh well. just imagine it.

Yes, your heart is very precious to God. I was just thinking about it this week. People open up their hearts to the ones they love and it is kinda like taking a chance. Was talking to my bestie over msn this week and I realised that you could open yourself up to a lot of hurt and uncertainty if things take another turn.
BUT I have on the other hand, witness the beauty of love in many ways that I cant pen it all down. I know, without a doubt, if you are in the perfect will of the Father, He watches over you. He loves the heart of a child, and simply having child-like faith.

I digged out all my journals the other day whilst i was looking for a book. I started reading them again and mann. i love the old me who was so simple and fresh. I love how believing doesnt take much. It's not that I have gone downhill or whatsoever, it's just how we tend to complicate things as we grow older. God was just reminding me of how I was like before and blowing me away with the things of the past where it was just visions are now coming to past. We are growing up. But it is utterly important that we dont loose our innocence.

People told me that I cant be so naive and live life like a cupcake. Call me silly, call me dumb.
Once my heart has your name on it, it's very hard for me to not open myself up to you and even if you trample on it and I get hurt, at least I gave my all and I gave my best. Kids get over hurt easily. They brush off their bruises and stand up again, right?

Yes, of course I will guard my heart, cos it's the well spring of life. I wont let you trample on it just because I am opening up, I'm not that all dumb ok! haha.
But because it's the well spring of life, I dont want it to stop flowing either.

2010-09-20T08:48:00.001+10:00

Judges 5:31b

But may they who love you be like the sun
when it rises in its strength

Home

2010-09-17T08:22:00.003+10:00

i've never told you this, but please pack me in your suitcase and take me home!

I dont really know why, but since last week, as I was talking on the phone to my mum, i've got this great sense of homesickness! It is weird hey? considering how settled I am in Melbourne. After all, this is my 6/7th year here!

I dont know.
I just miss home.
Or perhaps, I miss the fact and the assurance that I am sheltered from the rain. Or the comfort of knowing that I dont have to do dishes/ laundry. Or the cuddles of best friends are not just from the virtual world. Or the luxury of having cars and things literally arent so far away. Or the smell of some authentic stir fry coming from the back of the kitchen. Or the sound of my dad's car driving into the porch as he returns from work.

Or maybe it's just the workload from uni is killing me and i want some home-cooked soup.
Or maybe I just miss you.

within the past 24 hours..

2010-09-08T08:42:00.003+10:00

i had the sudden struck that my studies arent at the top of the ladder (which means that i have to catch up)
realigned myself to the beauty of life when i visited Lik Hui's 4 days old niece (she's gorgeous. photos yet to come)
was reminded that God can never fail to turn my :( to an :)
discovered Oliver Jeffers and REALLY wanna check him out! come to the bookstore with me?
know that I'm a daughter of God and am learning to walk in the dominion and authority that He has destined for me.
played basketball with Jon and Kiwi for the first time (even tho we've been friends for forever!)
had the most embarassing bus story ever! - where my shoe went sliding forward as the bus break! mind you! i was wearing it!!
ultimately tremendously superrrrr long for the weekend and the desperately needed
was sooo excited about my best friends going on a date :) :)
downloaded and got hooked into 2 new iphone games! - Fruit ninja and Veggie samurai!! (they are sooo fun!)
got tickled on my feet by my sis who was asleep! wonder how did that happen
woke up wanting to SHOUT at the top of my lungs that GOD IS GOOD!

If only we count our blessings and walk in the light of His ways, life can be a cupcake :)

(oh oh oh! I'm gonna be baking tonight! Comment away if u want me to bring it to you!)

A whole new world!

2010-09-02T08:43:00.003+10:00

I can see CLEARLY now LORRAINE has gone.

Sooks told us a really funny joke on Tuesday and it's still stuck in my head. You have to hear it from her. It's awesome! The fact that it's still stuck with me 2 days later proves something. but the again, it could just be me.

CITY CAMP is coming up. If you're around, do come!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God has just constantly been speaking to me bout reaching out to other people, since Ps Zoran spoken in church, close to a month ago? To love people, to tell them about how good our God is, and just be my passionate self. I absolutely love the analogy of NaCl, how we are called to be salt and light of the world.

NaCl crystalises because there's one + that came in touch with a -'ve.

If I am the positive, nothing is gonna happen if i keep holding onto myself. Let's go collide into someone's negative situation and see the beauty of God's power crystalising.

Easily said than done hey?! NO! i need to stop making it sound as tho it's utterly impossible. It's easy! I do it, but I dont do it with confidence. I feel like there are smtg that are holding me back, fear and insecurities. Too long I've listened to the lies of the enemy that I'm not good enough. For most of the time, it's just about stepping out and just have a cracker of a time being in the company of other people. I dont know.

i'm still scared but yet deep down inside of me, i long for an adventure.

I just watched Aladdin with my bestie, charis, when she came for a sleepover, where i still have to wake up at 6.30 am :S

Watch the first 27 of the clip.
It's as though God is reaching out his hand saying, "Do you trust me?"

2010-08-30T08:24:00.003+10:00

Yesterday, at church, Ps. Rusell made everyone wrote about the FAVOUR of God that we have encountered this year. We didnt know what it was for but we were just pen-ing away. Towards the end of the service, he got a few other pastors to go on stage, collected the papers, and started reading out all the amazing things that people had written.

Financial provision
Car
Family restoration
Healed of terminal conditions, skin cancer, hole in heart and so much other conditions
Broken free of depression
No more suicidal thoughts
Guidance and direction of the future
Stregthening in marriages
Employment
Salvations of family
Scoring well in studies, as the person puts it "Thank God for giving me straight HDs even when i didnt study as much"

Sitting in the auditorium, apart from feeling the intense presence of God, my heart is moved, hearing those amazing testimonies and knowing that they are REAL lives encounter that people had. I am reminded of God's power. Funny isnt it that we can forget that He is God and He is able.

HAPPY MONDAY, kiddies! May we look things through the eyes of faith this week :)
happy holidays to the RMIT people! (Miss Charis Tan is still sleeping on my bed whilst i'm already here in uni!)

2010-08-27T08:13:00.002+10:00

In the midst of everything, thank You for beautiful rainbows and Your constant reminder that I am yours and I am never alone.

"The Lord knows those who are his"
-2Tim2:19-

Stressed and fun?

2010-08-23T08:03:00.003+10:00

This weekend has taught me so much. I have an assignment due today but i just cant hold the thought of it. I need to write it down.

Constantly with the thought of my assignment due at the back of my head, I still had fun this weekend. Not the kinda fun where u can go all out, I was semi-restricted with letting myself go loose. Just the fear and the desire to be in control. Yet, with the assignment due today, God reminded me of the simple things in life..

(i tried lookin for a more recent photo/ artistic photo that could express how i feel, but i realised i dont have any copy of the photos we took. so u would have to just make do with this for now)

and He reminded me to love, again.

Look

2010-08-16T16:52:00.001+10:00

When you love that person, you look past how much they earn, how they dress, what they say, what they like, their football teams, their skin colour

to look into their eyes.

Today, it's about GTN!

2010-08-13T08:25:00.005+10:00

I find myself rushing alot recently. Or it could just be me, slacking till the last minute. Just like how i told myself at 7.50am that I'm gonna quickly blog and then do my pre-reading on GTN ( a drug that vasodilates and reduces your heart's workload) before my prac at 9am. SEE! here i am, writing away! hahha. Well, I was blog hopping and i realized i hadnt read Jac Kee's in ages. THERE IS SO MUCH TO THIS GIRL THAN I THOUGHT I KNEW!

I guess that's with alot of other people hey? There really are SO SO much more to one individual than what is seemingly the surface. I just realised that I can be sooo blur and completely oblivious to so many things! my friend was sick yesterday and i didnt even realised! :( how blur can i be!

but also, I made up my mind, last night, that I'm gonna just let people know how much they matter to me. Why withold love hey? What's the harm of letting that person know that you love them and that they matter to you!

Yes, I'm an expressionist. I love hugs and I love tell you that you mean A LOT to me. Just in case, if anything does happen, at least you know and at least i know you know! I was trying to look for a cool pic to make my blog look more interesting. well, blogging from uni, you can only google pic it but i was soooo challenged as i saw this photo. (but i dont know what is the dice there for! hehehe)

HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO FOR LOVE?

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.."
- Ephesians 5:1 -

Let's do it for others
GTN up and DILATE more love hey?

2010-08-12T18:08:00.002+10:00

I will seek You in the morning
and I will learn to walk in Your ways

Step by step
You'll lead me
and I will follow You all of my days.

ECGs and more ECGs

2010-08-12T08:08:00.005+10:00

I've got a booklet full of ECGs to interpret. but yet, somehow, i am drawn to write something.
Perhaps the fact that there has been so many interesting things that happened in my life but yet no place to vent out has kicked in. Yes, I love sharing and I love talking. God has always been my listener but not having a specific person there to listen to my ramblings, is something i have yet to get used to.

God has been doing lots of heart surgeries in me recently. I did not realise that I am so easily broken inside. I thought the minor little things wont bother me but Jesus showed me that it did, and i'm learning to let go of them. I thought they were just minor little things like specks, but it affected me more than i imagined! Of course it hurts, but I know if I dont let go earlier, it will hurt more! So, now, I've decided that I am hiding behind my Dad and He showed me that despite me walking through a bullet of rain, I wont be harmed!

Hmmm.. funny isnt it, I totally did not anticipate sharing that part of me. but perhaps, there are hurting people out there too. Jesus constantly reminded me to get my heart right and everything will be fine! Yesterday, we watched this movie by Arthur Blessit. He is a man who literally carried a 12-foot wooden cross and walked around the world, preaching and sharing the good news.
Check him out - http://blessit.com

It reassures me that God will lead you to meeting the right people (He has done that to me so frequent recently) and He has destinied you to bring forth the impact that you can make that another person's life.

"Speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ"
- Ephesians 4:15 -

Let's learn to pick up our cross and speak the truth in love as we allow Jesus to work in our hearts hey?

back to work. ECGs, please dont make it so hard for me!

WHY hello there!

2010-08-06T08:32:00.002+10:00

Yes, HIIII! i know i know, it has truly been some while. I just revamped this page. It's not the best, but change is good hey? but do comment away :)

Anyway, I've been saying this heaps, but it is TRUE - I have been busy! A kind of busy which i dont know if it's good or not. First of all, there's Uni.
My timetable isnt the best of my liking, but Praise God i have morning classes hey?

(i tried to like print screen and attach my timetable for u to see that i wasnt lying. but windows in uni doesnt seem to allow me to. ok. fine. I lied. I dont know how to use Windows)

but yes, over these past few months, I have been busy rehearsing! YES, you got me right. I was rehearsing for PlanetUNI outreach event, It's Time. I've learnt soooo much through it.

I danced,

I acted,

I performed!

Oh trust me, I always told myself that I was not meant to be a performer and never in me ever thought that I could actually do it. But when God challenges you to do it and tell you that He will work through you, you stand back and be amazed at how true and how good He is. Yea.. that jaw-dropped-stunned-unexpectedly good.

oh, if only you were there! but you can catch some awesome photos on facebook!

and, my best friend, Jimmy Law Teck Keong, has left Melbourne for good. The fact that he is no longer 20 mins away, living in the same time zone, is foreign to me. I'm still quite composed at this stage, because i know he'll be back in September for his graduation but honestly, i do miss him :(

BW around the corner! sure is exciting

tighten and loosen

2010-06-07T20:21:00.003+10:00

Sometimes, i think i'm such an emotional being. I'm so heightened with emotions it's not funny! I was asking God today, why He created me this way, like why am i so full of it? haha. funny isnt it? but i guess, that's how we are different.

I realised that some people can just drop things and let go. but for me, i tend to hold things TOO close to my heart. It can be a good thing but not learning how to let go of something that may not seem to be detrimental, can be bad for me. Believe it or not, I still hold on real tight to a high school friend who had seemed to moved on in her life and probably never ever think of me ever. I wish i can be like SueLynn, dont care means not caring at all. but that's not me. Yes, I am quite emotional.
Guess that's why i carry so much joy too? Cos i am like that, the smiles, the laughters and all feelings, it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Joanne reminded me that we are SPIRITUAL being and not emotional being. We live by faith and not by sight! AMEN! But oh, please dont get too concerned about me. I'm ok. It's just a season that God is teaching me multiple things at the same time. I think He is teaching me how to multiple my joy and rechannel my sorrow to Him. It doesnt mean that being a Christian means cannot cry and must be happy chappy all the time. It just means that God has created me with feelings and I need to be wise with dealing with them.

I feel like i'm such a teenager! I'm on my way to discovering my identity in Christ. Oh trust me, it feels weird, but alot of things are coming out of my heart. i love people more. a bit too much at times that it hurts. and there's the whole deal about stregthening myself and protecting myself. It could sometimes be me needing other people more than them actually needing me. I dont know. its all so funny and so exciting this journal.

God showed me an image.

some areas of my life needs tightening and some areas need releasing. If the nut aint tight enough, the whole thing or machinary wont be able to stand strong and do its work. But if all the nuts are too tight, when going through any pressure, there would be no room for air or the pressure to let out, and it'll just end up not working, breaking from the inside out.

just prayed for a girl who had insomnia. poor girl but i also know that there is spiritual sense to it. God intends freedom but enemy come and steal kill and destroy. We need to put our guards up. but yet in the same time, know how to use a spanner well!!! right? and with exams coming up ... what a better time for this application!

so, it's all about the balance - discipline and taking a breather! YOU CAN DO IT!

the time of the month

2010-05-29T06:30:00.003+10:00

it's the time of the month where EVERYTHING is emotionally magnified.

or perhaps, God is stretching me? i don't really know.
recently, there's just been too much of an overwhelming rollercoaster ride! good stuff and not so pleasant stuff can happen to me sooo quickly and before i have time to process it, it's like the bad stuff has come around to get me. but God's goodness come just in time to protect me. and the cycle repeats itself too quickly that i dont even have time to process it in my little pea brain!! it's like i havent had enough time to get over one event and the next occur.

it's as though i've had a heart of an old lad who just took 20 steps up the stairs in a minute (an achievement) but at the same time, my heart is pounding to cope. Evereything in me is trying to blurt or vomit stuff out but i know i need to compose myself and just breathe. Get the picture?

i'd like to think i'm being stretched and i somehow know that there's always something good! and end of the day, God is still worthy of all my praises!

Take my hand, take one step

What a night

2010-05-24T08:40:00.002+10:00

I am sorry about the neglect of this blog. Seriously I've been busy and have been bloging. Just that I never finished writting what I started. Follow me on Twitter! U'll get more frequen updates. Well, I think almost daily updates of what I'm thinking / doing. So, check me out - munyeesee on Twitter! :)

Anyway, I'm currently on placements in the royal Melbourne hospital. Had thr opportunity to work in the icu department. I've seen and learnt heaps there over the last week. Praying for those ppl who are sick and laying lands on them. Most ppl won't know what I'm doing but God knows and I am believing for Him to come through and turn their situation arround. I talked to y dad n my mum yday. I told them of how much I've learnt bout life and I Intentionally declare things over them and sharing the works of Jesus to them. Just putting what ps Matt preached into practice.

But yes. That was just a brief update on what's happening. Well, what I really wanna share about is the amazing nght that I had despte me being sick. Yes. I am having a sorethroat but I am refusing to accept that. I am just in the progress of being healed in Jesus name. That is what exactly had been happening. Seriously. I was wayyy worse Friday and sat I slept for 15 hours. But yday I am wayyy better and gonna believe that today completely healed!

So, last night, I went to bed, as usual, and in the middle of the night, I started coughing and t really hurts. My throat was in sharp pain and everytime I swallow it's stabbing me. And the cough kinda worsen the sotuaion if u can imagine. There I was subconciously coughing and trying to get back to sleep. But, in that moment, I realize- Holy Spirit is interceeding for me. So is my spirit and the whole of angelic hosts!! I am serious!!! No joke! In my subconscious trying to sleep and semi awake state, I could hear all these songs and praises to Jesus, prayers and talks to God. There was an outburst of songs that some I've heard of and some I haven't. But it's all going to Jesus, praising Him, lifting His name up and calling out to Him. Then there was lots of prayers and declaration happening too! Askin God to take away my pain, to heal
me, thanking him. I duno. There was just wayyy too much happening at that time. But it was aweeesomme.

It was short and I somehow stopped coughing, (weirdly I check my phone, it was 3:53am) and I went back to sleep. Am I bring visited by Holy Spirit and his angelic troops wihtout even fully realised it? Did it just happen to me and not some author from the top selling Christian books that I've been readig ( cos I always reckon it's so cool to have that happened to u). Oh my goodness. How good is God!! Today, I truely learnt that He always ALWAYS intercedes for me. He loves me so much that he even brought his troops along help me hurdle over the bump. Howw cool! Thank You Daddy. Let me impart some to others around me today too and make u proud hey?

2010-05-03T00:32:00.002+10:00

I realized i REALLY havent been writing. There somehow is an urge or like a sense that I'm being followed by lots of reader and some part of me is like nudging me to write up, or it could just possibly be me and my popular-kid-wanna-be-nature. but oh wells.. i'm writing and it's good, so here goes!

I've been having lots of dreams recently. Dreams that i know means something, and without a doubt clear that it is from God; dreams that are a bit ambiguous, fuzzy and just pure random
and dreams that are dark and from the enemy.

I've been given a book to read about dreams from kuo hao and it is such an AWESOME book! there's just soo much revelation and reveals so much mystery in it! i am starting to see things in a new light! but ultimately, i know and cling onto the faith that God is in control of all, and He is the Great Master that created it all, anyway. So, right now, at this stage, i am just so stirred at the fact that God speaks to each and every single one of us, in our dreams! i realised that's been happening around the ppl around me, christian or not! God speaks!! random dreams, yes, but if only we had the revelation of it all. but anyway.. keep praying and seeking hey?

Anyway, ps russell and church has also been believing on the FAVOUR of God. I believe too! i believe that each and every single one of us are called to release Favour over our circumstance and release it over other people!!
seriously, I am soo reminded of the truth that God allows something to happen and most of the time, they are for someone else!!
i've been having so many encounters and so much testimonies i've heard. some part of me, the negativity, the uncertained temperament are trying to drown me out. but hey! no. that's not true and it doesnt allign with the bible.
God is for me!
God is ptotecting me
and God loves me.
These are some truths that we can release over other ppl! just as how some ppl had done it over me. Oh. if only you can see...

on the other note: SANNEY POO IS BACK IN MELB!! oh how i miss that girl!

helloo!!

2010-04-27T21:23:00.002+10:00

why hello there!! i know i havent blogged for a while. but here's a BIG CHEERS to internet at home!
WOAH! finallllyyy! :p

I've been up to quite a fair bit actually. and i realised that i havent really been updating. either through blog or emails. i shall do lots of catch up with that! AMG! watch out. long email coming.

i've been yes. eating lots

and trying to work as hard as i can

and in between those two, i'm fitting in with lots of sleeping and catching up with people.

just a random thought, to keep it short, so that i can get back to work - God is so patient, even though He is jealous for your love, He lets you venture out, and secretly, patiently long for your return and realize ultimately that HE is all you need.

this song is beautiful!

2010-04-14T18:28:00.000+10:00

I am the one, THIS is the place, NOW is the time.

well said.

more updates coming, if i have the time and internet gets connected by this week. i've missed you

this goes out to a friend far far away

2010-02-22T03:34:00.002+11:00

i thought of you emoing to this song when i heard the lyrics.
praying for you.
please know that Jesus is mighty to save and HE reaches down to your heart. it's not that hard to turn back to him. you know it!
i love you and even tho you dont tell me everything, know that i dont need to know them all. i just wanna go through this journey with you and be there for you.

a call for prayer

2010-02-21T03:16:00.002+11:00

I know i havent really been updating. i've been busy. afterall, it's Chinese New Year and Valentines Day double celebration! :)
Somehow, the beginning part of it, i wasnt really looking forward to it. not really that negative. it's just, somehow, the excitement seemed to be less in comparison to last year's. i dont know why either.

perhaps the thought that i have less than 3 weeks remaining in malaysia scared me a little. the thought about making my holiday count quickens my heart. from today onwards, i realized that i only have 10 days remaining. honestly, i dont know what have i done that has impacted people. i'm just praying that somehow seeds are scattered. i havent really met up with alot of ppl yet and i sense the urgency of it. God, multiply my time pls?

well, apart from that, i've been really good. havent opened up my angpaus yet but i know i've gotten less in comparison to last years :( quantity but hopefully the content is wayy more! ;p for cny, i ate. visited relatives. ate. talk. ate. played with kids. ate. went to cameron with family. ate. saw lots of fireworks near my house. ate. thought about few things. ate. drove a lil. ate. slept. ate. talked to ppl i met for the first time ever. ate. yep. eating is sandwiched in between all my other activities. yeap. i've been good.

but, something struck a relative who is really close to my aunty. the news of it broke my heart and hearing the description of the situation brought tears into my eyes. this young man, 20 years of age, was involved in the car accident whilst my family were busy having fun in cameron highlands. My aunty watched him grow up and hearing that news broke her hearts and many who knew him. The accident had robbed 3/4 of his brain, 3 spinal vertebrae, pierced his lungs and he's now in critical stage, admitted in ICU. He was just the passenger who kindly offered his company whilst the driver send another friend back home. The driver had lost both his legs and is safe while this young bloke, is still in coma. Dr said that it will all depends on tonight.

His parents had been crying, in shock, fear and anxiety. if i were in their shoes, i would really not know what to do! and i heard that they've already lost one son. this is perhaps alil too much for them to handle, especially on this CNY festive season. all his friends and relatives rush in to see him, just in case its the last goodbye, and also to be there for the family. i saw the redness of my cousin's eye when the news broke out. i know that they so wanna be there. all his friends and colleagues came. all came out in tears.
i had to hold on to mine to, just hearing the story. i dont even know him personally.
so,

please pray for him. his name is hong. tonight is the critical stage. declare hope and healing into this young man's life.

rambles

2010-02-07T03:12:00.002+11:00

just came back from hanging out with AMG and Ji muis.

this song is currently stuck in my head. i jumped on youtube and found this pretty cute video.

2 is better than 1. sounds familiar? (With wedding bells ringing everything, i think it would be everywhere! ehehe )

I cant believed how time has flown! technically, i am left with 3 full weeks and off i go back to melbourne. I really dont know how to feel. God has been sooo good to me. Today, i've learnt that

Despite God's Presence being omnipresent, we still need to cultivate it!

If only we all realised that there's so much power and authority and joy in His Presence. I knew there was a reason for such sense of longing and strong desire of going to church. Even though it was only 1 thing, it was worth it! (but obviously there were more than 1 revelations)

anyway, as i was showering, i realised there are some people that I love and some that loved me more than I could in return. And like Jo's Mum said, a lot of times, we have put ourselves higher than we ought to and we have forgotten how to love others. It's a lil slow but i realised that some people, I could just sit, eat and talk with for a lifetime.

the future i see? growing old with people like these! :D

2010-01-29T19:04:00.002+11:00

oh. i forgot to put this thought down.

"good things come to those who waits"

and..

should i change to tumblr?

hello MALAYSIA!

2010-01-29T18:37:00.005+11:00

been back in malaysia for 2 weeks now. havent been up to much but i'm treasuring my holiday. somehow this time it's different. less of hanging out with friends, more alone time, more family time. God spoke to me to make my holiday count. i dont know how but i want to make it count. and the trip down to malacca had taught me that if i am willing to allow God to interceed, He will make that happen! and i am soooo excited!

anway, for the past 2 weeks, I had a haircut,

met up with the yi wei family and was ben's driver for his last day. i love hanging out with that boy! he is so special to me!

had the most amazing weekend with my ai mei gang. these people are so close to my heart and has taught me so much about God. They stir me on further for the things of God.

this holiday has truly been different but i'm loving it!

havent been up to much. but surely i've ate HEAPS!

going off to bangkok in 2 hours! i'm so excited! havent had proper family trip in years!

2010 so far

2010-01-11T12:43:00.002+11:00

my cap just re-rolled over. i get to go on the net again! woohoo :) makes life lots easier!

so, 2010 so far...

if i get the timetable preferences as i willed it, my schedule would be like this!

it's been an awesome start to the year. wayyy more eventful than ever. and i've also begun to look more into the deeper issue.
the inside of me.

Allan, Dant, Lik and i went to the beach the other day. Allan spoke of something which was so simple, yet so profound.

Enjoy the very moment, whatever comes come and you'll know what to do when it comes.

so true hey? most of the time, we (well, i've) spent wondering what would happen and getting too consumed in the things of the future, or more like my fantasy land. Too consumed, that's right. too consumed to the extent that i've become too innocently and naively oblivious to things. Too many things.

I'm so thankful for sisterly figure like Li who nags me past midnight (and she reckons that i secretly like being nag) haha.
She sees the things that I dont see. or, too blur to notice.

so, this year.. God has whispered a few things to me that is somewhat my resolution.

LOVE.
seriously, i am learning how to love.
prior to thursday, i was thinking about unconditional love. giving my all love. loving those who are hard to love. be there to comfort the hurting and stand with those who are easily shaken. but hey, there's more to love than i thought.
i need to learn how to love wisely. say no or sorry, not interested when i know that's the right thing to do to not hurt them.
i need to learn how to not be nice out of love. when to move on, and not feel guilty about the things of the past.

this summer has been such an interesting one. my heart aches for those whom i love. it aches for mum when grandma passed away. it aches for a friend when he settles for second best in life. it aches for another when the girlfriend was uncertained about their future. it misses those who are far away..

dont get me wrong. i'm not all emo. God has been tremendously good to me.
cos' the other whisper i heard was such an awesome comfort.

"There it is. there it is."

Such gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. Everything that i need, it is found in Him. All the joy, smiles, healing and comfort, flows from Him. So friends, thank you for the awesome company and all the great and lil things in life. i know there it is.
in bike rides and pastas, in sitting round the dining table and moving chairs, in hot bbq and under cool AC, in christmas and new years, in photos and movies. in lazing on the couch to playing bball.
there it is.
so near. so close.

2010-01-04T15:49:00.002+11:00

Maccas free wifi is the best!!

I've been so disconnected from the world and now doing my blog catch ups after work.

Hello 2010. I am sooo excited and can't wait for
to see more of God. So many stories to tell. Of only I can bring my lappie and spend the whole day here.

Short update - everything is good. I've moved and now I'm just busy moving in and unpacking. Still looking for another female housemate if anyone knows of someone needin a room.
New years was great. Different from the ones of my past but it was good.

Deep inside, I miss still miss home and with Christmas and new years away, it felt as tho smtg is missing.
It's not like I don't have a great time, don't get me wrong. I had a fantastic time.

It's just ... Different.

Maybe this was how the little birdie feel like when it first flapped it's wings and flew out of home.

Art of LOVE

2009-12-27T00:24:00.003+11:00

This song has been playing in my head for the entire day and i finally bought it off itunes.

i'm still learning the art of love :)

my first christmas in melbourne. in short. i have learnt heaps and i am learning to understand the hope and joy and unwavering love that we have in Jesus.

On Christmas morning, i recieved a phone call from home telling me about hte bad news that my grandma had passed away. With sookers on the phone, i actually didnt know how to react. we just prayed together.
but slowly, it sunk in and i couldnt hold onto my tears, they came out of the corner of my eyes everytime i had a moment to myself. i tried pulling it together but i couldnt. I needed Jesus. i needed someone to hold me.

I really thank God for the Tays, for taking me in not only on Christmas eve, giving me pressie, but just being a family for me that i never had in melbourne. It's so awesome to have adults - real mummy and daddy figure in the house to just love you and give you hugs whenever you need. and the timing was just perfect, like how i was with them and not alone. how the news break out after the church service and not during.

This period of staying alone at Evelyn has taught me way more than i could ever imagined or think of. God has been seriously good to me by sending different company and counsels to me whenever i needed. Honestly, i dont think i'm ever alone.
and yet, i discover, above all, the best time spent is spending with Jesus and just asking Him to hold me.

you know, crying can be very tiring. coming from first hand experience.
but when you thought that there's no hope, God's light shines and come in.

Zheng and Khao taught me that some burdens are not mine to carry.
somethings happened for the better of our growth.

I was reminded of the spirit of Christmas, that Jesus came as human to connect with us. to bring hope and salvation through love.

Death may have temporarily separate me and my grandma. but i cherish all the memories that we had togheter.
obviously there are questions, and questions that no one could answer. all the why's and what happened.
but i know ultimately, like ROMANS 8:28
all things work for the good!

AH MA, i miss you.

2009-12-20T01:46:00.002+11:00

I didn't know I hadn't blog for 3 weeks already.

Quick one. Since it's nearl 2 and I have to be up by 6.

Updates-
I'm now staying home alone. All my housies has left.
Our house is now for sale. We're moving out everywhere and praise God, he has provided a place
I'm only surviving on ipione Internet. Pls pray that I don't go over the cap
there's been lots of graduation this week
so is work

watched my first Christmas carol play that are hosted by citylife

a lot of first times. But Jesus is doing them with me

i'm so unworthy but still You love me

2009-12-07T14:21:00.001+11:00

You are holy great and mighty
The moon and the stars declare who You are
I'm so unworthy, but still You love me
Forever my heart will sing of how great You are

Come on summer! Bring it on!

2009-11-26T12:47:00.004+11:00

Blogging from my iPhone again. Am currently on th bus.

Ever since nov 2nd, after my exams had all ended, I felt like I've been evermore so busy wih the things of life. Too busy that I haven't had time to mysel to chill , to slow down and to do nothing. Yes, I do live all the catchups and all the hang outs but sometimes, it's great to have some alone time, some serious slack and do nothing with God time! Just chill u know!

But at the same time, God's still teaching me about relationships.
Interpersonal
and intrapersonal.

I love hanging around ppl whom I called family. I thank God for friends who stick wih me through thick n thin and
friends who I can explore both extremities of doing crazy stuff and nothing with.

As the year comes to an end, I sense a greater new beginning for a whole lot of things, in the natural and the supernatural.
Love is blossoming amongst the people around me.
Weddings, engagements and gettin together
Lots of packing and moving in my hse
Work, placements, running around in between.
So many new rxcting things are happening and yet at the same time, so many things are changing

I know I am definitely not the same person as I was before, at the beginning of the year. But I don't look back in regret, I look back with a heart of gratitude and a heart of praise, thank God for what He has done.
As a whole lot of new things come my way and after the near death experience, I think I'm ready to encounter he new change of wind. (as much as I wanna be prepared, I have a feeling, God is soo gonna sweep me off my feet! )

dancing on the summer 69
these days are the best days of my life

God and His Presence

2009-11-01T21:25:00.003+11:00

Today, Ps Rusell talked about loving God and His Presence.

I was so completely blown away by so many things that has happened and how God ochestrated so many moments of my life! it's unbelievable but it's real.
like how i had a headache, left lib early to meet this girl on the bus that i can now connect with.
how what i initially thought was a job turned out to be an opportunity for me to reach out and share about Jesus
how Jesus told me to not step into that particular relationship because the guy's heart aint right
above all, how He knocked at the door of my heart, set up all these God-incidents so that i could turn the door knob open to welcome Him in.

i love it.
i love how He plans everything for me, how he ordains my steps.

i love God and His presence.
i want more!

God, help!!

2009-10-27T12:42:00.002+11:00

I don't know what's wrong with me but today just ain't working well. I can't focus. God, please help me. My exams are two days away n I feel like I'm so not ready. I don't wanna panic but at the rate that I'm going and the thugs that are happening around me, I just wanna curl up in my lil corner and cry out to you.

I know you are able. I know you are bigger.
Help me to push through.

I wanna run this race strong! I hate how the enemy throws things at me at this crucial time but in the same time, I'm learning to embrace them cos it's a sign of my victory is near. I'm learning to strengthen myself in God even more through this because I know ultimately, it's just about me and him. I am learning to encourage myself when there's no one around me. Ps Bill said that's the greatest thing that u can learn.

God. Help me. Dim away everything else and let me look to u alone.
My exams, my family, my friends and my heart. I give them to u. Take me away into the secret place.

To Do List

2009-10-23T21:00:00.003+11:00

After exams, this is my little to do list for summer.

- look for a job related to nursing and earn more money

- travel somewhere after placements

- go visit the supper market and the abbortsford convent.

:) cannot wait.